WYLM | Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After realizing that Chi Guan was indeed his beloved, Qi Jingyao’s first reaction was shock, followed by disbelief.

In their previous lives, they had grown up together from a young age, and their affections were mutual very early on. Chi Guan even clearly bore the mark Qi Jingyao had given him. Why, then, had he forgotten him?

Could Chi Guan be deceiving him?

This thought had barely surfaced in Qi Jingyao’s mind before he dismissed it himself. Chi Guan’s eyes, clear as a college student’s, didn’t seem deceitful. An actor of Qi Jingyao’s caliber might be able to fake such an expression, but Chi Guan was an outsider to such craft; he couldn’t possibly have that capability.

Could it be…

Another thought entered Qi Jingyao’s mind.

His complexion visibly darkened.

Could it be that his beloved didn’t really like him that much, hence didn’t want to reunite with him in this lifetime?

Qi Jingyao didn’t want to entertain such an unpleasant suspicion. In their past lives, they had always relied on each other. Qi Jingyao had considered his beloved the only person he could truly trust and confide in, but reality forced him to overthink. Aside from this reason, he couldn’t find any other explanation that could convince him.

Feeling wronged and angry, a multitude of emotions flooded Qi Jingyao’s heart, making him feel as if he had been doused in lemon juice. He blurted out unconsciously, “Suijian, do you really not remember me?”

“Suijian?” Chi Guan sharply caught the keyword, then subconsciously ignored Qi Jingyao’s latter half of the sentence, asking, “Isn’t that the courtesy name of the little reader under Emperor Ming? Why are you suddenly calling him by that name, Teacher Qi?”

Qi Jingyao was momentarily at a loss for words, not knowing what to say, while Chi Guan didn’t dwell on the question he had just raised. His eyes curved, happy about the name Qi Jingyao had inadvertently mentioned, “Teacher Qi, do you like him too? To be honest, I really liked Suijian from back when Emperor Ming was neglected by his father and ostracized by his brothers. Thankfully, little Suijian was there to accompany him through his toughest days.”

Qi Jingyao turned to look at Chi Guan.

Chi Guan’s eyes sparkled, devoid of any falsehood. When he mentioned Emperor Ming, his eyes lit up as if all the stars and moons had fallen into them.

Qi Jingyao’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he stared motionlessly at Chi Guan, then abruptly averted his gaze.

“I don’t really like Suijian,” his voice was muffled, “Just so-so.”

Qi Jingyao knew he wasn’t being honest, especially since Chi Guan didn’t even remember him. He didn’t want to be truthful with Chi Guan.

For the current Chi Guan, whether Qi Jingyao was honest or not didn’t really matter; Chi Guan didn’t even know that he was Suijian. But Qi Jingyao felt awkward and aggrieved; he didn’t want to expose his inner feelings in front of Chi Guan.

Chi Guan keenly sensed Qi Jingyao’s mood but didn’t understand why he had suddenly become like this. He glanced at Qi Jingyao strangely, picking up the conversation, “Indeed, historical records about this Suijian are scarce. It’s normal for you, Teacher Qi, to not understand or like him.”

Qi Jingyao was choked up: “No, I…”

He looked deeply at Chi Guan, imprinting his innocent expression in his mind, and after a moment, sighed softly, “Never mind, you wouldn’t understand even if I told you.”

Moving past this awkward topic, the dinner seemed pleasant to Chi Guan. The restaurant Qi Jingyao chose was very much to his taste, even giving him the feeling that Qi Jingyao had picked it specially for him, though this thought only flickered briefly in his mind before he dismissed it.

—It was unlikely, after all, they had only met twice, how could Qi Jingyao possibly know his preferences?

After bidding farewell to Qi Jingyao and returning home that night, what circled in Chi Guan’s mind wasn’t the dishes of the evening, nor the contract they had just signed, but the desolate look in Qi Jingyao’s eyes when he said “It has nothing to do with you.”

Why did that suddenly make him so sad?

Chi Guan wondered what Qi Jingyao was thinking at that moment.

At the dinner table, Chi Guan had actually wanted to directly ask Qi Jingyao, but remembering the previous awkwardness, he feared that his concern might bother Qi Jingyao.

Lying alone on his single bed, with the computer screen still on next to him, the faint light casting over his eyes made Chi Guan toss and turn, unable to sleep.

Just lying there with his eyes wide open for most of the night, Chi Guan finally resigned himself, got up from the bed, threw on a jacket, and sat at the computer desk. He opened Zhineng (a scholarly database) and began searching for the keywords: “Emperor Jingming Suijian.”

Chi Guan could guess why Qi Jingyao was unhappy.

It must be related to his beloved.

From what Qi Jingyao had said, Chi Guan guessed there might be some conflict or misunderstanding between Qi Jingyao and his beloved, causing the beloved to hide in a place Qi Jingyao couldn’t find.

But Chi Guan felt that simply running away wasn’t a solution. He thought he should create an opportunity for Qi Jingyao to have a good talk with his beloved.

As for how to find Qi Jingyao’s beloved… The method was clear enough. Qi Jingyao mentioned his beloved had been researching Emperor Jingming for years; Chi Guan didn’t believe he would easily give up this interest.

And conveniently, having read most articles about Emperor Jingming, Chi Guan knew quite a few people in this circle; finding someone who also liked Emperor Jingming wasn’t difficult.

The city was quiet in the early morning, serene. Chi Guan searched through many articles, then went on to check the authors’ personal information, photos, emails.

The advantage of being a freelancer was vividly displayed at this moment; it was already early morning, but Chi Guan didn’t have to worry about getting up early the next day. He wasn’t working with a film crew currently, so whenever he woke up was fine.

After ruling out some obviously impossible individuals, like an eighty-year-old professor, or a young, promising, but married and fully settled postgraduate director, Chi Guan finally identified nine possible candidates and put all their information into a document.

The sky had brightened unknowingly, and Chi Guan had finally organized all the information, then sent the document to Qi Jingyao.

Qi Jingyao replied almost instantly: 【? What is this】

Chi Guan: 【Teacher Qi, please see if your beloved is among these people】

Qi Jingyao: 【???】

Having just finished a night shoot, Qi Jingyao was about to head home to rest, but Chi Guan’s message was like a bolt from the blue, startling him awake.

What beloved?

Isn’t his beloved the one sending him these messages?

Chi Guan’s message came again, saying: 【Teacher Qi, I noticed you seemed down yesterday, not sure if you were thinking about your beloved again. I don’t know how to make you feel better, so I gathered this information overnight】

Qi Jingyao opened the document Chi Guan had sent. Chi Guan had not only clearly listed each person’s information but also, based on a few words from Qi Jingyao, analyzed the “similarities” and “differences” with Qi Jingyao’s beloved for each person, compiling dozens of pages in total. This was definitely not a task that could be done easily.

Qi Jingyao’s fingers trembled slightly, editing his message several times before sending it: 【Why do this? Is whether I’m happy or not so important to you?】Aren’t you supposed to have forgotten me?

Chi Guan replied: 【Of course, it’s important. Did I mention I’ve been a fan of yours for many years? That wasn’t just flattery; I’ve really liked you for a very long time. I hope you can always stand at the highest place, that you can find your beloved again. If I could make just one wish, it would be for you to be safe and happy】

After sending the message, Chi Guan seemed a bit embarrassed, waiting a while before adding: 【Teacher Qi, please don’t misunderstand; I’m not trying to meddle in your private life. If you don’t like this, just say so, and I won’t bother you like this again】

Qi Jingyao was silent for a moment, then replied: 【You don’t need to find these things anymore; my beloved isn’t among them】

Chi Guan’s breath hitched.

Qi Jingyao sent another message: 【But thank you for what you’ve done; it wasn’t presumptuous, nor was it a bother to me】

After being upset all night, Qi Jingyao was somewhat numb. He thought if Suijian really didn’t want to remember him, then there was no point in persisting. He had planned to stop contacting Chi Guan after shooting “The Chronicles of Emperor Jingming” was over, but Chi Guan’s words felt like spring rain nourishing his heart, reviving the withered sprouts.

Even if he didn’t remember him, Chi Guan still liked him, still willing to do those things for him. How could that not be considered love? Qi Jingyao believed that Suijian still loved him.

As for forgetting himself, Qi Jingyao hadn’t found a reason yet, but he thought, even if Suijian forgot him, it didn’t matter; they still had so much time to spend together, and one day Suijian would remember him.

If in the end Chi Guan still didn’t remember him…

Qi Jingyao thought, then so be it; he was resigned.

It wasn’t easy to have a second chance at life, and he didn’t want to let go of his beloved’s hand just like that.

They hadn’t ended well in their last life, but they still had this life to start over, to live out the rest of their days together peacefully.
•

In the following period, Qi Jingyao and Chi Guan’s relationship clearly grew closer. Qi Jingyao was very busy, but he often invited Chi Guan to attend events he was part of. When he had some free time, he would ask Chi Guan out for meals alone.

At first, Chi Guan was a bit uncomfortable, but gradually he opened up. Qi Jingyao’s invitations were not something he could refuse; having been a fan of Qi Jingyao for so many years, he was eager to spend more time with him.

As time went on, it became well-known among industry insiders that Qi Jingyao had a close screenwriter friend. There even started to be some secret rumors suggesting their relationship was more than just friends, that they had already done things friends shouldn’t do in private.

Qi Jingyao was indifferent to these rumors, but Chi Guan took them seriously, not because he wanted to take the opportunity to network and gather resources, but quite the opposite; he didn’t want others to misunderstand his relationship with Qi Jingyao.

After attending an event together again, Chi Guan couldn’t hold back anymore. On the way back, sitting in Qi Jingyao’s chauffeured car, Chi Guan spoke up seriously, “Teacher Qi, next time remember to clarify in public that our relationship is clean and just friendly, nothing messy.”

Qi Jingyao slightly raised his eyebrows, teasingly asked him, “What, you think it’s a loss for you to be rumored with me?”

He leaned back in his seat, tilting his head, half-seriously watching Chi Guan, his tone slow, “My conditions aren’t that bad, right? You dislike me that much?”

Chi Guan: “Indeed.”

Qi Jingyao: “?”

Chi Guan stated righteously, “Don’t worry, Teacher Qi, my feelings for you are just that of a fan to an idol. I’m not interested in being a third wheel.”

Qi Jingyao: “.”