T.N: Only 7 chapters left 🙂 Please go ahead and rate this novel on NU if you like it, I’m sincerely hoping the rating could go up to 4 stars, I don’t think it deserves less than that. Thank you all!
By the time Zhang Yuze arrived home, he expected chaos. The media, ever so ravenous, should have surrounded his apartment by now. Yet, to his surprise, the building was eerily calm. Perhaps the vultures hadn’t yet figured out where Xu Li was hiding.
Relieved, he parked the car and saw the faint glow of light in his living room window, a sign that Xu Li was home. Immediately, the wave of tension that had built up in his chest all day finally eased. At the very least, Xu Li was safe.
As soon as he opened the door, Zhang Yuze saw Xu Li in the kitchen, standing by the counter and holding a glass of water. His back was slightly hunched, and although he raised the glass to his lips, he didn’t seem to be drinking at all.
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?!” Zhang Yuze breathed a sigh of relief and started scolding before he even shut the door behind him. “I’ve been worried sick! My calls, my texts—nothing! I thought something happened to you!”
Xu Li turned around, startled. He smiled faintly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “You’re back.”
“Damn right, I’m back! What’s going on?” Zhang Yuze threw his bag onto the couch and went to check the windows, drawing the curtains tight. He secured the locks on the door, double-checking that no prying eyes or nosy reporters would find their way in. Finally satisfied, he walked over to Xu Li, placed a firm hand on his shoulder, and asked gently: “How are you holding up?”
Xu Li exhaled slowly and smiled weakly, unwilling to let his boyfriend worry about him. He paused and tried to sound calm: “I’m okay. Xu Hai… He’s gone. I took him to the hospital, but after a while, the doctors declared him dead. They couldn’t save him. His body’s in the morgue now. I was going to stay and handle things, but the media got wind of it and swarmed the place. I had no choice but to sneak back here.”
“How did he die?” Zhang Yuze asked quietly.
“Heart attack. Sleep deprivation, stress, and everything else. He’s been on the brink for years.” Xu Li’s tone was detached, as though he were reading a medical report.
Hearing him speak, Zhang Yuze frowned and sat down on the couch. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said, after taking a deep breath and grabbing his hair. One way or another, he seemed to be even more anxious than Xu Li, the person who was directly involved in the mess. “I’m sorry, you’ve been wronged.”
“I know, right…” Xu Li replied, his voice hollow. Immediately after, he grabbed Zhang Yuze’s hand with a wry smile, trying to save his poor hair, and hesitated to speak. However, he soon admitted: “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish for it. When he fell, a part of me wanted him to just stay there for ever.”
Zhang Yuze didn’t speak right away, feeling that no words were good enough. He simply reached for Xu Li’s hand as well, intertwining their fingers, and offering silent comfort. Both of them sat on the sofa and Xu Li held Zhang Yuze’s hand tightly, finding support for himself and acting as if he finally grabbed a life-saving straw in despair. He truly was helpless. Even if there was light on the surface, and he somehow managed to survive the day, how could he not feel vulnerable?
“I’m so tired, Yuze.” Xu Li’s voice cracked. “This… This whole day has been hell. I just wanted my money back, and now the whole world thinks I’m some monster who let my father die over fifty thousand yuan.”
“You’re not a monster,” Zhang Yuze said firmly. “Your father was a terrible person who made everyone around him miserable. You tried your best to save him out of duty, and no one can blame you for that.”
Xu Li rested his head on Zhang Yuze’s shoulder, closing his eyes. The rare moments of peace he found in his boyfriend’s presence were like air to him. Absolutely vital.
“It’s strange,” Xu Li murmured.
“What’s strange?” Zhang Yuze turned over his mobile phone. His brain was in a mess, already thinking about how to clear Xu Li’s grievances.
“I’ve been terrified all day. But now that you’re here, I’m not so scared anymore.” Xu Li continued.
However, Zhang Yuze chuckled with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “What a drama queen. I was losing my mind because you weren’t answering your phone, and here you are, playing it cool.”
Xu Li chuckled softly. “I’m sorry. Ah Huo called earlier and told me that Old Bi leaked my phone number to the media. My phone’s been blowing up all day with strangers calling to yell at me, so I turned it off. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
Zhang Yuze’s expression darkened. “That dog. I should’ve killed him last time when I had the chance. He still hasn’t learned his lesson.”
Xu Li shook his head and smiled faintly. “I’m sorry, boyfriend. I dragged you into all this mess.”
“Don’t start with your nonsense.” Hearing his words, Zhang Yuze sighed heavily, and his heart softened, but he still felt like there were sharp pieces of glass in his throat. “Now you’re quick to apologize, but last time, when you blocked that knife for me, you were all smug and looking for a beating. I couldn’t even feel sorry for you.” Zhang Yuze said while flicking Xu Li lightly on the forehead.
Xu Li smiled on his shoulder and whispered: “Then, do you feel sorry for me now? Why?”
“Because I’m your boyfriend, stupid.” Zhang Yuze bent his fingers, tapped his head, and continued: “Anyway, we’re in this together. I’ll always have your back, no matter how bad things get.”
And so, Xu Li leaned against him, letting out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, boyfriend.”
They sat like that for a while, letting the weight of the day slowly fade away. It seemed that Zhang Yuze’s warmth and his steady presence were all Xu Li needed to feel grounded again. Eventually, he drifted off to sleep, his breathing steady and calm.
Zhang Yuze stayed a while longer, watching him rest. He wanted to stay, to protect Xu Li from the world, but he still had responsibilities to return to. He couldn’t forget that he left the hospital in a hurry, without taking a leave. Before returning, he wrote a quick note: Rest well. I’ll be back soon. –Zhang Yuze
On the way, Dr. Zhang was full of thoughts about Xu Li’s future and all that happened around him. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t feel tired, nor did he feel it was cumbersome or difficult. He knew that Xu Li was afraid of dragging him down, but truthfully, he was completely ready to take care of his boyfriend’s affairs. They were companions, what others called a “couple”. And so, there was no reservation between them.
He never noticed before but… Maybe this boyfriend of his was now part of his existence.
So was it love? Wasn’t that just an instinctive reaction born from hormones and hormonal stimulation?
Maybe, just maybe… It was better to not think about it for a while.
…………
When Xu Li woke up, the apartment was quiet. He stretched, feeling a rare sense of calm, until there was a knock on the door. Startled, he checked the peephole and saw his mother standing outside.
“Mom?” Xu Li opened the door and ushered her inside. “What are you doing here? Didn’t I tell you to stay home and avoid the media?”
His mother burst into tears, collapsing onto the couch. Between sobs, she explained: “The reporters found out where we live. They’ve been banging on the door, shouting questions. I had to sneak out with the neighbors’ help just to get here. Xu Li, we can’t stay in Yanjing anymore! It’s too dangerous!”
“Mom…” Xu Li rubbed his temples. He wanted to reassure her, but he didn’t have the strength. “I understand you’re scared, but… We don’t have the money to leave. All of it went to him. How can we still have money to settle down somewhere else?”
“…”
The atmosphere was awkward for a few seconds.
“There’s a small house your grandfather left us,” Mother Xu said suddenly. “It’s on the outskirts of Yanjing. It’s tiny, but it’s far enough away that the media won’t find us. Please, Xu Li, let’s go there.”
Xu Li hesitated, the weight of the decision pressing heavily on his shoulders. If he stayed, the media would eventually track him to Zhang Yuze’s home, and he couldn’t bear the thought of dragging his boyfriend into the spotlight. But leaving meant starting over, with no money and no certainty of when things would get better.
Finally, he stood up and nodded. “Fine. Let’s pack up and leave. I’ll leave a note for Zhang Yuze.”
………….
Old Bi leaned back in his worn-out sofa chair, a cigarette dangling lazily from his lips, while the hazy air of the bar hung heavily around him. He had just dealt with a group of nosy reporters, sending them off with a wave of false friendliness. Now, with the bar empty and quiet, he finally allowed himself a moment of satisfaction. Taking out his phone, he scrolled through the latest videos and news articles, all saturated with reports about Xu Li.
Since Xu Li had been caught up in that storm of public disgrace, Old Bi couldn’t help but feel a perverse sense of triumph. The memory of Xu Li’s earlier confrontation still left a bitter taste in his mouth. Now that the tables had turned, Old Bi relished the downfall of the man who had dared to cross him.
Nearby, one of his lackeys, a skinny guy with yellow, stiff hair resembling pineapple leaves, shuffled up to him, hands rubbing nervously. His eager grin stretched too wide, showing yellowed teeth. “Boss,” he started, voice filled with misplaced enthusiasm. “We’ve got Shen Mo. Found him drinking near the bar last night. The boys thought he looked a bit too comfortable, so we brought him in.”
Old Bi exhaled a long plume of smoke, swirling it through his nose. “Good,” he said, his lips curling into a sly grin. “I’ve been meaning to clean up that mess. The last time I sent you after Xu Li, you messed up the whole thing and got us nothing but trouble. At least this time, you’re showing some promise.”
The yellow-haired lackey chuckled nervously, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Just making up for last time, Boss. Making up for last time.”
On the other side of the room, Ah Huo stood silently. He was more reserved than the others, his face betraying none of the smug satisfaction that hung around the bar. Quietly, he pulled out his phone, ready to send a message to Xu Li as soon as anything went wrong. In fact, he had always disliked Old Bi’s underhanded ways, but he played his part, staying on the inside to keep an ear out for trouble.
From the back of the bar, Shen Mo was dragged into the room. The poor young man stumbled forward, his arms restrained by one of Old Bi’s goons. His face was pale, and his legs shook with every step. Despite frequenting bars and knowing the crowd that came with them, Shen Mo had never expected to find himself caught in a situation like this. He was trembling, unsure whether to beg, cry, or make a run for it.
Old Bi lazily kicked out his leg, hitting Shen Mo lightly in the calf, just enough to make him flinch. “What’s with that pathetic look?,” he sneered. “I’ve done my homework on you. You used to have a thing with that Dr. Zhang, didn’t you?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” Shen Mo stammered, nodding frantically, too terrified to offer any denial.
“Good.” Old Bi leaned forward, a predatory grin spreading across his face. “That smug Dr. Zhang has been pissing me off for a while now. Since Xu Li’s caught up in this mess, why don’t you go stir the pot a little? Pay your ex-boyfriend a visit. Get in his bed, make some noise—hell, I don’t care what you do, as long as you make him suffer. Got it?”
Shen Mo nodded feverishly, words spilling out of him in a panicked rush. “Yes, Boss! I’ll do it, I promise! I’ll get it done. You can count on me!”
“Good,” Old Bi said, leaning back again, his expression twisting with mock disgust as he waved Shen Mo off. “Now get out of my sight. Just looking at you makes me want to puke.”
Before Shen Mo could escape, he was stopped with one last command.
“Oh, one more thing,” Old Bi said, smirking darkly. “I hear that dog Xu is hiding out at Zhang Yuze’s house. If you see him as well, stir up a commotion. Better yet, drag that brat Xu Li out into the open where the media can see him. Got it? Make a scene. That’s what I want.”
Shen Mo gulped, nodding again as he backed out of the room, almost tripping over his own feet in his haste to leave.
As soon as the door slammed shut, Old Bi lit another cigarette and leaned back in his chair, exhaling smoke with a self-satisfied chuckle. “Let’s see how they like being on the receiving end for once.”
Hmm… this guy… he’s courting death..