DREB CHAPTER 73

Things were progressing according to Lu Lianning’s plan, almost too smoothly.

About three and a half months in, during dinner, Li Yan abruptly stood up. His chair screeched loudly, followed by the sound of him rushing to the bathroom, where he started to vomit.

Lu Lianning’s eyes widened slightly as he realized what was happening. He exchanged a glance with the butler.

The butler immediately called Zheng Zhi, requesting him to come over that evening.

When Li Yan’s pregnancy was confirmed, the atmosphere at home didn’t ease much.

That day, Zheng Zhi examined Li Yan. After finishing the check-up, he said nothing, merely giving Lu Lianning a nod before the two left the room, clearly needing to discuss something Li Yan couldn’t hear.

Li Yan grew increasingly anxious, fearing he had contracted a serious illness.

Lately, Lu Lianning had been much kinder to him, which only heightened Li Yan’s unease, making him wonder if his time was limited.

However, the injections had recently stopped, and aside from the occasional loss of appetite, he didn’t feel unwell.

Still, Lu Lianning had suddenly stopped giving him his weekly fifty yuan allowance, which left Li Yan feeling rather upset. But he understood that Lu Lianning preferred when he stayed home.

Over the years, Lu Lianning had been overly protective of Li Yan, though it also came from a desire for control.

Perhaps because of how poorly he had taken care of Li Yan in the past two years, Lu Lianning always considered him particularly fragile and hard to care for.

He believed that the ramen from the greasy corner shop where Li Yan liked to eat was neither clean nor sanitary. Eating too much of it could make him sick and harm his health.

In contrast, Li Yan should be eating the meals prepared by the professional nutritionists Lu Lianning had hired.

By the fourth month, Li Yan’s belly started to show signs of pregnancy.

He had noticed it earlier. His stomach had begun to slowly swell. At first, it wasn’t very noticeable, and he thought he had just eaten too much. But as time passed, the bulge didn’t go away and only grew larger.

He was genuinely panicking. One night, while Lu Lianning’s arm was wrapped around him, he took Lu Lianning’s hand and placed it on his stomach, as if trying to prove something. “I think I’m really sick…”

The soft glow from the nightlight illuminated his profile, casting shadows from his trembling eyelashes.

Lu Lianning touched Li Yan’s belly lightly. The sensation was incredible. Li Yan’s body was warm, and holding him felt hot. His stomach was swelling, but inside was his own child.

“Is it a tumor?” Li Yan asked again.

Lu Lianning snapped out of his thoughts, frowning briefly before smoothing his expression. “Of course not. Your illness has been cured. I told you that when Zheng Zhi came last time, didn’t I?”

He placed a hand on Li Yan’s thin shoulder and said in a natural voice, “You’ve just gained a little weight. Don’t overthink it.”

As if concerned that Li Yan would do something unnecessary again, Lu Lianning, who had almost closed his eyes to sleep, opened them again and added, “But don’t try to lose weight…”

Li Yan still wasn’t convinced and asked, “Really? I’m just gaining weight?”

Lu Lianning replied, “Of course. Do you think I’m like you? Always lying, such a liar.” His tone turned a bit harsher.

Afraid that Lu Lianning would start bringing up old grievances, Li Yan quickly fell silent and didn’t press the issue further.

That year, the first snow came later than the year before. The weather was cold and dry, and it wasn’t until deep into winter that a thin layer of snow finally fell.

When Li Yan tried to go out, the butler stopped him, making sure he was bundled up in a scarf, gloves, and a hat before letting him leave.

Wrapped in a thick cotton coat, Li Yan’s swollen belly was completely hidden.

He made his way to the city gymnasium and sat in his usual spot in the fourth row, watching two basketball games. Then, he noticed Lin Sheng on the newly arrived team.

Li Yan’s eyes lingered on Lin Sheng, and it seemed that Lin Sheng briefly glanced his way, but quickly looked away.

Months had passed since their last meeting, and seeing Lin Sheng now still filled Li Yan with guilt and regret. He truly considered Lin Sheng a rare friend.

Now that so much time had passed, he hoped Lin Sheng had cooled off. If he sincerely apologized, maybe Lin Sheng would forgive him.

With that thought, Li Yan stayed in the gym until the very end.

After the game, Lin Sheng went to the back to pack up and then headed out with his teammates. As he passed the row where Li Yan was sitting, he didn’t even glance his way.

Li Yan had no choice but to shamelessly chase after him, calling out, “Lin Sheng, wait up.”

Lin Sheng kept walking, and Li Yan called his name several more times. His teammates started to glance at him, their expressions somewhat odd.

Finally, Lin Sheng stopped. Li Yan rushed up to him in a few quick steps. “Don’t go. I have something to say.”

“You guys go ahead. I’ll catch up later,” Lin Sheng said, glancing briefly at his teammates.

Du Lin was absent, and when the others heard Lin Sheng’s words, they all waved goodbye, understanding that he had something personal to take care of.

“It’s been a while. Winter break is coming up soon… I haven’t seen you much lately,” Li Yan stammered, awkwardly trying to make small talk.

“Haven’t seen me much lately?” Lin Sheng let out a sharp laugh. “Have you even been to the gym at all recently?” His gaze swept over Li Yan, bundled in thick clothing, his expression far from friendly.

Li Yan knew Lin Sheng was still angry, so he offered a humble apology. “I know you’re still mad about what happened last time. But I didn’t have any other choice. I’m really sorry. Can you forgive me?”

Hearing this, Lin Sheng’s expression softened slightly. He understood that Li Yan had been powerless against Lu Lianning, but it didn’t excuse giving up without a fight.

He looked at Li Yan, reflecting on how this pitiful person ended up in such a mess. His brows furrowed as if he had finally identified the first misstep. “If only you hadn’t taken that 300,000 high-interest loan in the first place.” Lin Sheng couldn’t understand why Li Yan would ever take a loan like that, knowing it would become a bottomless pit if he couldn’t repay it.

Li Yan froze for a moment, slightly dazed. From Lin Sheng’s words, it was clear he had learned something. With a bitter smile, Li Yan replied, “I guess people like you can find out anything you want.”

Lin Sheng didn’t like the way he phrased that, unsure who Li Yan was lumping him in with when he said “people like you.”

Li Yan was equally puzzled by Lin Sheng’s words. “But if I hadn’t borrowed that 300,000, Chen Yu wouldn’t have survived the first time he got sick.” He asked Lin Sheng, “What else could I have done? Should I have sold my organs? I actually considered it, but I was afraid that if I died and got scammed without receiving the money, Chen Yu still wouldn’t make it.”

Sell his organs? Lin Sheng almost thought he heard wrong. He couldn’t wrap his head around Li Yan’s thinking. “It was only 300,000 yuan. You could’ve found a way to borrow it, right?”

At that moment, Li Yan finally saw the deep divide between him and Lin Sheng. In reality, Lin Sheng was no different from Lu Lianning. They came from the same class.

But Lin Sheng was lucky. He had older brothers who took on the heavy burdens. He could study design as he pleased, drop out of a prestigious school over a breakup, and return as if nothing had happened.

He was elegant, poised, polite, and gentlemanly—a product of his upbringing and good family.

Lin Sheng had plenty of empathy, but he would never fully understand the depths of someone else’s suffering. And Li Yan didn’t expect him to. He couldn’t expect someone born into privilege to truly grasp the life of someone who had been scraping by in the dirt.

That would be asking too much. Li Yan wouldn’t do that to a friend.

But Lin Sheng didn’t give up. He could accept that Li Yan had chosen the wrong path from the beginning, but what frustrated him was Li Yan’s weakness. “Why did you refuse when I offered to help you pay Lu Lianning back? Don’t you hate him?” Lu Lianning had done so many excessive things to Li Yan, yet when Lin Sheng offered a way out, Li Yan’s response was bewildering.

Lin Sheng looked at the numb Li Yan, his expression heavy with frustrated disappointment. “You’ve been tamed by him.”

Tamed? Tamed by Lu Lianning? No, it wasn’t just Lu Lianning.

Most people might assume that Li Yan deeply hated Lu Lianning, but the truth was different. Li Yan had become someone who stopped thinking altogether and focused solely on survival.

He couldn’t even remember when he stopped asking “why.” Why did his mother leave when he was six? Why did his father die in a car accident when he was ten? Why did Chen Yaxin die? Why couldn’t he borrow 300,000 yuan from anyone in town…

It wasn’t that he didn’t resent life or want to ask those questions.

But first, it wouldn’t change anything, and second, he didn’t have the time.

If he delayed taking that high-interest loan for even a second, Chen Yu would have died in the hospital bed. If he didn’t raise his arm fast enough, the debt collector’s steel rod would have hit his skull. It hurt when Lu Lianning whipped him with a belt, but was that worse than being struck by a steel rod? Worse than being kicked in the stomach by a gang of men? Worse than watching Chen Yaxin slowly die in agony?

He didn’t hate life, so why should he hate Lu Lianning?

When Lin Sheng said he had been “tamed,” it wasn’t just Lu Lianning who had tamed Li Yan.

But Li Yan didn’t argue. He understood that Lin Sheng’s disappointment came from a place of expectation, not malice. Lin Sheng probably did look down on him now. If they couldn’t be close friends anymore, then being casual friends was enough.

Li Yan’s initial daze faded, replaced by a strained smile. He apologized to Lin Sheng again, “I’m sorry I let you down.” Then, gathering his courage, he asked, “But can we still go out for beef ramen together sometime?”

Lin Sheng was enraged by Li Yan’s cowardly acceptance. If Li Yan had asked for help today, Lin Sheng would have given it without hesitation. But Li Yan didn’t. He had chosen to stay in this suffocating, tightly controlled life under Lu Lianning’s rule.

“No. Since you’ve made your choice, have Lu Lianning take you for ramen,” Lin Sheng replied coldly, then reminded, “It’s almost 7:30. Don’t you have a curfew? Better hurry home before you get punished.”

The sarcasm left Li Yan stunned. He stared at Lin Sheng’s moving lips, wondering if he had heard him wrong.

For a moment, Li Yan just stood there. Seeing his pale face, Lin Sheng felt a pang of guilt, thinking he’d spoken too harshly. He was about to say something, but Li Yan abruptly turned and walked away.

He trudged under the darkening winter sky, leaving footprints in the thin layer of snow. The wind tugged at his scarf, and his thick cotton coat bundled him up, making him look like a little bear.

As Li Yan headed home, he was in a trance. He couldn’t understand—why had asking someone to share beef ramen become such a challenge? Why had Lin Sheng looked at him with such disappointment? And why had Lu Lianning stopped giving him the fifty yuan he used to get each week?

He forced himself not to dwell on it. He shouldn’t feel suffocated by something so trivial.

He returned home like that, arriving more than ten minutes late. When he finally stepped inside, Lu Lianning was already seated at the head of the dining table in the living room, arms crossed and clearly displeased.

As soon as he saw Li Yan, the original fury on Lu Lianning’s face suddenly faded, and even the butler’s gaze toward Li Yan became peculiar.

“Why are you crying?” Lu Lianning stood up and walked toward him.

Li Yan paused, reaching up to touch his face. His cheeks were indeed wet.

When Li Yan didn’t respond, Lu Lianning asked again, “I’m talking to you! Why are you crying? Where were you today? Who upset you?”

Li Yan lowered his hand and explained, “I’m not crying. It’s snowing outside, and I got wet.”

Lu Lianning’s expression had seldom looked this unpleasant in recent times. He went along with Li Yan’s words, forcing a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Right. It must’ve snowed so much it turned your eyes red too.”

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Translator’s note:
Happy New Year everyone! 🎆