DREB CHAPTER 77

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPT

---

Qi Zhen returned home and collapsed onto his messy sofa. His eyes drifted to the coffee table, cluttered with empty wine bottles and half-eaten food. He vaguely remembered that the housekeeper had taken time off to visit family.

He got up and made his way to the study, which was filled with a random assortment of items. Documents about Li Yan were scattered across the desk, along with a sealed brown envelope containing a letter addressed to Lu Lianning, which had been sent by Song Ruan.

A month earlier, Song Ruan had approached him with red eyes, handing him the letter and asking him to deliver it to Lu Lianning. But the letter had never reached Lu Lianning; it had been sitting in Qi Zhen’s study, collecting dust for over a month.

Without much thought, Qi Zhen opened the letter. The handwriting was neat and elegant: “Dear Mr. Lu, I am Song Ruan. I apologize for the sudden intrusion…” Qi Zhen skimmed the contents, his eyes briefly catching on words like “longing” and “unforgettable” before he lost interest and stopped reading.

Song Ruan was like a blank page—too easy to figure out.

His face was sweet, his family was wealthy, and his personality was easy to manipulate. As these thoughts passed through Qi Zhen’s mind, he tossed the letter onto the desk. It hit the edge, falling to the floor with a sharp thud.

Qi Zhen didn’t bother picking it up. His gaze shifted to a framed photo on the desk, a picture of him and Lu Lianning from high school.

Back then, Lu Lianning still had a boyish innocence. His expression was cold, and he seemed reluctant to take the picture with Qi Zhen, but he eventually gave in after Qi Zhen’s insistence.

In the photo, Qi Zhen was smiling, his arm around Lu Lianning’s shoulder, flashing a peace sign.

Half-closing his eyes, Qi Zhen sank into his office chair. Just then, his phone rang.

It was the little Omega he had been casually seeing lately. Despite their brief time together, Qi Zhen was already bored.

He hung up the call, and immediately messages began pouring in.

“Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?” followed by a few crying emojis.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please punish me, master.”

“I really want to see you, wuwuwu[mfn]sound of crying[/mfn].”

“…” Qi Zhen didn’t bother reading the rest and blocked the number.

He closed his eyes in frustration, a deep sense of loneliness creeping in and making him feel unexpectedly sad—unlike Lu Lianning, who was probably fast asleep by now, holding his Beta in his arms.

Meanwhile, Lu Lianning lay in bed, watching Li Yan. Though Li Yan’s eyes were closed, his uneven breathing betrayed his restlessness.

Leaning closer, Lu Lianning softly asked, “What’s wrong? Can’t sleep?”

Li Yan didn’t answer, but as Lu Lianning moved nearer, the scent of his pheromones seemed to calm him.

Yet this natural reaction from his body only deepened Li Yan’s internal sorrow.

Around seven and a half months into the pregnancy, Li Yan attempted suicide for the first time.

The baby inside him was growing, sometimes kicking, making it difficult for him to turn over at night. His complexion was pale, as though the baby was draining all his vitality.

That night, he couldn’t sleep again. Recently, insomnia had become a constant—sleepless nights piling up one after another. Sometimes, he pretended to sleep to fool Lu Lianning, but as the mental and physical exhaustion deepened, it became harder to keep up the act.

Lu Lianning opened the door, sat by the bed, and watched him for a moment before asking, “Are you feeling unwell?”

He tried to release some soothing pheromones, but as soon as he did, Li Yan opened his half-closed eyes.

“You’re suffocating me. I can’t sleep.”

Lu Lianning froze, momentarily confused. “What?”

Li Yan’s eyes were bright, almost manic, as he repeated clearly, “Your pheromones are suffocating me. I can’t sleep.”

Lu Lianning pursed his lips tightly as if holding something back. He quickly regained his composure, pretending to be casual as he let go of Li Yan’s hand and said, “Alright… I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight. I won’t stay with you.” He knew how much Li Yan hated him right now, and that they couldn’t share a bed peacefully.

At the doorway, Lu Lianning turned back. “If you need anything, call me. If not, you can ask the butler.” Sometimes, when the butler brought food, Li Yan would eat a little more out of politeness.

Li Yan simply turned his head away.

Lu Lianning was at a loss. He had expected Li Yan to react strongly after finding out the truth about the pregnancy, but he hadn’t anticipated such intense rejection.

He could only keep lying to himself that everything would be fine once the baby was born. It would be better once the baby was born…

During this period, Li Yan refused to leave the house. In the past, Lu Lianning had wished he’d stay home more, but now, seeing him lying in bed all day, listless and looking like he’d lost his soul, filled Lu Lianning with unease.

In the guest room, he found himself growing increasingly anxious about Li Yan’s condition. But it was clear Li Yan felt more at ease when he wasn’t around.

Even so, Lu Lianning couldn’t resist the urge to check on him. In the middle of the night, he gave in, worrying whether Li Yan had fallen asleep, if the blanket had slipped off, or if the water by his bedside had gone cold…

But when he opened the door, the bed was empty.

A light glowed from the bathroom, accompanied by the soft drip of water. Everything else was completely silent—a silence that felt unsettlingly eerie.

A sense of foreboding surged in his heart as he rushed to the bathroom and pushed the door open.

The scene inside was one that Lu Lianning would never forget, even years later. Li Yan lay on the cold floor, his belly swollen with pregnancy, his wrist slashed by broken glass. A small pool of blood had already formed around him.

In that moment, Lu Lianning’s hands and feet turned icy. He dropped to his knees, calling Li Yan’s name. As he cradled him in his arms, his hands trembled uncontrollably.

A suffocating pressure gripped his chest, and it felt as though his veins were aching from the strain.

The entire Lu household was lit up. By the time the ambulance arrived, the butler had already bandaged Li Yan’s wounds. It was past 2 AM when they reached the hospital.

Though Li Yan was not in critical condition, his mental state was fragile. Lu Lianning had found him just in time, preventing significant blood loss.

Still, Lu Lianning couldn’t shake the lingering fear.

If he hadn’t gone into the bedroom that night to see how Li Yan was doing, or if he had hesitated even a moment longer, Li Yan might not have survived.

Although Li Yan was saved this time, the fact that he had attempted suicide left Lu Lianning deeply shaken.

After all, what kind of person was Li Yan?

When Li Yan first fell into Lu Lianning’s hands, he had been subjected to cruel torment, yet he never once said he wanted to die. Even when he was caught after trying to escape, when Lu Lianning taught him a lesson and he cried, even when broke from all the torment, he never attempted suicide.

In that bleak, oppressive environment, Li Yan still managed to find the will to live, discovering small moments of joy. In his haze of confusion, he rescued a cat, watered the flowers in the greenhouse, and braided the tassels of the nightlamp.

He was the kind of person who could continue to sprout and grow with just a drop of water, even in the absence of sunlight.

But one day, he no longer wanted to live.

When Lu Lianning brought Li Yan back, no matter how much Li Yan resented him, he never left the bedroom again at night. During the day, he made sure the butler kept a close watch on him.

Every window in the house was sealed shut, and the exhaust fans ran constantly.

For the first time, the incredibly stubborn Lu Lianning saw himself as a loser in front of Li Yan. He hugged him and spoke words he hadn’t said in over twenty years, his tone painfully awkward.

He said, “I’m sorry.”

Li Yan’s eyes moved slightly, finally landing on Lu Lianning’s face. He saw no trace of genuine remorse. To him, Lu Lianning was just scared.

Scared that Li Yan, whom he had played with and crushed so many times but never completely broken, might actually die this time.

In an almost cautious voice, Lu Lianning asked, “The park nearby just installed a new fountain. Do you want to take a walk?”

Li Yan didn’t respond.

Testing the waters, Lu Lianning added, “You don’t want to be seen by others, right? I’ve cleared the area. We could go for a walk this weekend. How about that?”

“It’s so stuffy in here. Staying home all the time isn’t good,” Lu Lianning continued as if talking to himself. But Li Yan remained unmoved.

It wasn’t until Lu Lianning started talking about their future after the baby was born, saying, “Let’s live a good life together after this…” that Li Yan suddenly interrupted him.

“If I have a difficult delivery, don’t save me.” Li Yan’s expression was flat, his eyelids lowered. He said, “I’m so tired, really.”

He didn’t look at Lu Lianning’s reaction, treating the long silence as silent agreement. In his usual polite manner, he added, “Thank you.”

 

After Li Yan was discharged from the hospital, Zheng Zhi sat in his office, lost in thought. By the time his shift ended, he couldn’t hold back any longer and sent a message to Qi Zhen.

Qi Zhen was immersed in the bustling nightlife when he noticed his phone light up on the table. He picked it up and glanced at the screen.

It was from Zheng Zhi.

“I heard you visited that psychological treatment center. Have you thought about convincing your buddy to give it a try too?”