DREB CHAPTER 82

TW: ATTEMPTED SUICIDE & CHILD HARM ATTEMPT

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Li Yan stared blankly at the spotless white ceiling with wide-open eyes. Normally, staring at such an empty space would fill him with dread.

But he had been lying in the same position on the hospital bed for so long.

A warm sensation on his face brought him back to reality. He raised his hand to touch it, realizing it was the third time today that tears had fallen for no apparent reason.

An overwhelming sadness engulfed him, like he was suffocating.

The mind that had long ceased to think began to stir once more. He kept pondering, questioning “why” at every scene of painful memories.

For someone who had never questioned suffering, beginning to ask “why” was terrifying.

Why had he endured all of this?

Why not someone else? Why always him?

It seemed as though he was constantly messing things up, no matter how hard he tried or how much effort he put in. In the frantic whirlwind of life, even when he covered his ears and closed his eyes, he still found himself back in the same place.

Trapped in the web of unending suffering that fate had spun for him.

He leaped from one tragedy to another.

He saw Xiao Hei, Chen Miao, and finally Li Yan. Their faces blurred, each one running, weighed down by poverty and hardship.

They were all apologizing—to a father who blamed him for his mother leaving, to Chen Yaxin on her deathbed, to Chen Yu for failing to save his sister, and to Lin Sheng for failing to meet his expectations. But the one he apologized to the most was Lu Lianning.

As long as he was alive, it felt like his suffering would never cease.

In this shattered, guilt-ridden life, was there anything worth remembering?

The sudden sound of a baby crying snapped him back to the present.

Oh, right. The baby—someone he had just brought into the world.

In recent days, Lu Lianning had often brought the baby to him, encouraging him to hold the child.

He would say things like, “The doctor says your wounds are healing well. You should be able to leave the hospital next week.”

“I expanded the greenhouse at home. When you’re back, you can pick some flowers you like.”

“I’ve got about ten days off next month. How about we take a trip? If you’d rather not bring the baby, we can leave him with the nanny. Just the two of us, alright?”

Lu Lianning’s words came out naturally, but they made him seem a little pitiful. He seemed to be the only one in the world who still believed he could be with Li Yan.

With an actor’s conviction, he clung to his role, acting as a less hot-tempered lover and a father who was just barely responsible.

He seemed desperate for Li Yan to grow close to the child.

At that moment, the hospital room was empty except for Li Yan and the baby. Lu Lianning had left earlier that afternoon after a phone call.

Li Yan’s eyes, red from crying, stared at the wailing baby.

What would happen to the child once he died?

His thoughts drifted to Qi Zhen, a person who had always harbored ulterior motives toward him and never hesitated to act in Lu Lianning’s best interests, no matter the cost. And then there was Song Ruan, who still couldn’t let go of Lu Lianning.

Lu Lianning was only in his twenties. Someday, he would meet others—people willing to love him.

He would forget the dead Li Yan.

But what about their child? This poor baby was born to parents who had never truly wanted him.

The child didn’t even have a name yet.

Lu Lianning had never treated him well, so why would he treat a child conceived purely as a means to trap and control him any differently?

A man who wouldn’t allow Li Yan to have friends, who cut him off from contacting Chen Yu, yet had made him give birth. Was he using the child to forge an emotional bond, only to later wield it as leverage?

Was he trying to strengthen the cage that already bound Li Yan?

But this baby was innocent. He didn’t understand anything. Born from the womb of a Beta who wasn’t even supposed to be able to conceive, would he be bullied by his classmates in the future?

Tears spilled down Li Yan’s face again. He decided that the last apology of his brief, miserable life would be for the child he had just brought into the world.

He raised his bruised, needle-marked hand. His wrist was so thin it looked almost deformed, traces of punctures still visible.

Slowly, he wrapped his hand around the baby’s neck, tightening his grip as his tears fell, one by one, onto the child’s blanket.

“Ah!…” A sharp scream came from the doorway. A nurse had entered to change his dressing. Standing at the door, she saw Li Yan kneeling on the bed, his hands clutched around the baby’s throat.

She rushed forward, yelling, as the guards Lu Lianning had stationed outside burst into the room. They froze momentarily before rushing to pull Li Yan away.

Seeing them approach, Li Yan panicked, struggling desperately not to let go.

One of the guards immediately called Lu Lianning, who had just arrived at the hospital. Seeing the call, he rushed to the ward.

Li Yan couldn’t fight the strength of so many. They pulled him back forcefully, gripping his wrists as the nurse tried to pry his fingers open. His entire body shook, and his eyes were red. In his struggle, he knocked over a glass on the bedside table and pulled down the IV bottle.

The scene was utter chaos.

When Lu Lianning reached the doorway, he saw Li Yan picking up a shard of glass from the floor, moving it toward his own neck without hesitation.

“Li Yan!” Lu Lianning shouted sharply.

Li Yan froze. His body reacted to Lu Lianning’s commanding tone as if it were a conditioned reflex.

His eyes locked onto Lu Lianning, whose chest was heaving.

The nurse had already rushed the baby out for emergency care. The bodyguards saw Li Yan’s actions but didn’t dare to act rashly.

The sharp edge of the glass shard pressed against Li Yan’s neck, and blood began to seep out.

Li Yan’s condition was alarming. He was frighteningly thin, his eyes wide and sunken, bloodshot veins visible as if he hadn’t slept for days.

Lu Lianning softened his voice. “Li Yan, put the glass down.”

Li Yan seemed startled by the tone, and the shard pressed deeper into his neck. It must have hurt terribly. His face was ashen, but his hand steadied.

Lu Lianning’s breathing grew erratic, and sweat instantly beaded on his forehead.

That suffocating feeling, like his heart was being squeezed, surged up again, stronger than ever.

He was going to die, right in front of him. He was about to press the shard into his throat. Blood was already flowing. He was determined, determined to die right in front of him.

Lu Lianning’s vision darkened briefly, and he vaguely heard himself say, “I’ll let you go… I’ll let you leave… Li Yan…”

He wiped his eyes, still focused on Li Yan, and said, “Chen Yu is about to graduate. You haven’t been to his university… Lin Sheng was coming to see you today, but I stopped him. He’s downstairs right now. If you want, I can call him up. Do you want him to see you like this?”

“Li Yan, you’re almost free. Do you really want to die now?”

Lu Lianning struggled to keep his voice steady, hoping it sounded genuine.

But Li Yan had no trust left in him. He shouted, “Liar!” He thought that the moment he released the glass, Lu Lianning would have him restrained, just like before.

“I swear, this time it’s real. Trust me one last time!” Lu Lianning softened his tone, looking at Li Yan. “If you don’t want to see me again, I promise I’ll never appear in front of you. You’re free.”

He repeated, “You’re free…”

Li Yan seemed captivated by those enticing words. He stopped moving and stared at Lu Lianning. “Get out!”

He needed proof of Lu Lianning’s sincerity.

Lu Lianning had no choice but to back away, step by step, until he reached the door. Only then did Li Yan’s hand, still holding the shard, slowly move away from his neck.

Li Yan pursed his lips, still gripping the shard tightly, his hand bleeding from the pressure, and blood from his neck staining his clothes.

“You said you’d never appear in front of me again…”

Lu Lianning paused, understanding what Li Yan meant. A faint smile crossed his face as his sweat-dampened hair fell over his forehead, hiding his expression.

Finally, he said, “Alright.” Then he turned and left the room.

In the days that followed, Lu Lianning truly did not appear before Li Yan. Chen Yu took some time off and visited often, bringing fruit. When he saw the bandages wrapped around Li Yan’s neck, he cried.

Lin Sheng and Du Lin also came. Lin Sheng brought a small basketball keychain, mentioning he’d bought it near the university. He talked about a basketball tournament happening at the city gym and promised that once Li Yan was discharged, they’d go watch a game together.

By then, Li Yan’s mental state had improved significantly. The breakdown he’d experienced that day had gradually faded, leaving him with an odd sense of unreality.

He sat there with a faint smile, listening as Du Lin shared amusing stories from school. Lin Sheng occasionally chimed in, poking holes in his tales.

It was as if Li Yan were neither in a hospital recovering from childbirth nor someone who had ever attempted suicide. That day had turned into a farce, quietly brushed aside, with no one daring to mention it.

It was as though he was just an ordinary person who’d hit a rough patch, perhaps broken a leg or fallen mildly ill. His family brought fruit, shedding tears of concern, while friends came by, chatting lightheartedly to lift his spirits.

Li Yan thought this was good enough.

After leaving the hospital room that day, Lu Lianning barely made it to the stairwell before breaking down.

He leaned against the wall, slowly sliding to the floor.

It felt as though the weapon in Li Yan’s hand had stabbed him in the neck, leaving him bleeding endlessly, weak and powerless.

The tamed one had finally used a blade forged from blood and tears to destroy the tamer. With brutal, unflinching force, he made it clear that death and staying by Lu Lianning’s side had become the same thing.

If Li Yan stayed with Lu Lianning any longer, it would kill him.

This truth had seared itself into Lu Lianning’s mind.

The impact was so intense that Lu Lianning began having nightmares. In them, Li Yan lay in a pool of blood while he knelt beside him, face filled with anguish and helplessness.

The once-dominant hunter had finally shown a vulnerability, defeated by a single blow, and lost everything.

It turned out love could make someone so weak.

A single desperate, hollow look from Li Yan was enough to make Lu Lianning abandon all defenses.

Leaning against the wall, his back cold and damp with sweat, Lu Lianning ran his long, pale fingers through his black hair. His knees pulled up, he rested his elbows on them and bowed his head.

Lu Lianning didn’t show up again until the day before Li Yan was to be discharged from the hospital.

He had someone inform Li Yan ahead of time that he’d be coming the next day to see him off.

Chen Yu, peeling an apple nearby, gave a cold snort when he heard this.

Li Yan simply nodded, saying nothing.

On the morning of his discharge, Chen Yu offered to help him pack, though, truthfully, there wasn’t much to gather.

Li Yan changed into a thin shirt and a dark jacket.

When Lu Lianning arrived, he knocked politely on the door.

He held the photo album he had taken from Li Yan’s home in Wujingwan Town.

When Li Yan saw the album, he looked up at Lu Lianning. To be honest, he hadn’t expected Lu Lianning to let him go this easily. He had even braced himself for yet another impulsive attempt at reconciliation.

He reached out, took the album, and handed it to Chen Yu behind him.

Then, Lu Lianning handed him a paper bag. Inside was a small tassel nightlight, identical to the one that had broken before.

Li Yan’s eyes lowered, and he hesitated before handing it back to Lu Lianning. “I won’t need this.”

The room fell silent. Lu Lianning, who had maintained his composure until now, was hurt by Li Yan’s coldness.

He stared at Li Yan, who looked detached and emotionless.

As his forcibly suppressed emotions began to surface, he took a deep breath and even urged, “Take it.”

But Li Yan refused again.

That was when Lu Lianning lost control. His eyes reddened, and he erupted, grabbing Li Yan by the collar, teeth clenched. “It was you… You were the one who messed with me first…”

He looked like a defeated beast, his aggression ultimately powerless.

Chen Yu’s expression shifted, and he was about to intervene when Li Yan stopped him with a glance.

This time, Li Yan didn’t avoid Lu Lianning’s gaze.

“Yes, I was the one who messed with you first, and I’ve apologized countless times over the years.” He reached up and slowly pried Lu Lianning’s hand from his collar. “You can keep hating me in the days to come.” He paused briefly. “But for the 7.26 million yuan over five years, I remain grateful for your generosity.”

“After all, most people might never earn that much in their lifetime.”

Lu Lianning felt as if he’d been slapped in the face by Li Yan’s words. Li Yan had calculated everything precisely, severing all ties cleanly, even at the end.

He was just a creditor, and Li Yan, the one indebted, had been tormented for five long years.

Now, they were settling accounts.

“Get out…” Lu Lianning couldn’t bear to hear another word from Li Yan. His voice was hoarse as he forced the words out again, “Just get out!”

Despite the disparity in their strength, Li Yan effortlessly removed Lu Lianning’s hand from his collar.

Saying nothing more, he turned and walked out, with Chen Yu close behind.

Li Yan took the elevator down and walked toward the hospital entrance, where he spotted Qi Zhen leaning against the wall.

Li Yan intended to pretend he hadn’t seen him and walk past, but Qi Zhen called out, even raising a hand. “One last question.”

Li Yan stopped.

Qi Zhen stubbed out his cigarette, looking at him as he asked, “If you really never had any feelings for Ah Ning, why did you refuse the three million when his father asked you to convince him to go home?”

Li Yan paused, seemingly in thought. Then that familiar, slightly forced smile appeared on his face. “Because Lu Lianning has a terrible temper. They’re father and son. If Lu Lianning ever found out I did something like that, he’d definitely come after me.”

“It would’ve been too much trouble,” Li Yan concluded.

Too much trouble, indeed. So instead, he accepted a three-million-for-three-nights job, selling himself for a quick payout—a straightforward deal and far less complicated for him.

Emotional entanglements with Lu Lianning weren’t something he wanted.

After that three-million arrangement, Lu Anling got what he wanted: Lu Lianning obediently went home. Qi Zhen stirred the pot, leading Lu Lianning to crush Li Yan himself. As for Li Yan, Chen Yu was saved, and he had won.

Everyone got what they wanted—except Lu Lianning.

It was one big happy ending!

If the timing hadn’t been so inappropriate, Qi Zhen would have given three claps to applaud Li Yan and exclaimed, “Badass.”

So all this time, Li Yan had been watching Lu Lianning with indifference as he remained in his shattered state for many years.

Suddenly, Qi Zhen said, “Lu Lianning is really pitiful.”

Pitiful?

He used that word for Lu Lianning? Li Yan paused, remembering Lin Sheng, who’d given up studying abroad over a breakup. Now, he understood a little more.

For someone like Lu Lianning, being forced by his father into things he didn’t want and not having the person he liked return his feelings was the greatest injustice in the world.

People like him seemed born immune to aging, sickness, death, poverty, and hardship.

So, once again, Li Yan displayed his understanding nature and nodded. “Yes, he is a bit pitiful.”