Xu Ye wanted to say something—like whether playing this game would make everyone dumber—but the game had already started. The hook swung back and forth over the pits, with a 60-second countdown ticking in the background.
As soon as the countdown began, the background music played abruptly. The cheerful Fight the Landlord theme song blasted through the speaker, almost making her excitedly yell for a “three-pointer.”
A line of text floated across the screen:
“Don’t keep the other seven friends waiting too long!”
If they didn’t want people to wait, why not make more pits?
Even pet store restrooms have four stalls, yet an eight-player version of Gold Miner couldn’t even provide two?
While Xu Ye’s pit was temporarily idle, the other players were chatting in the public chat.
[Little Husky: This sound reminds me of that mini-game my grandma loves.]
[I Won’t Cry: What’s this? Eight people taking turns? Is this game just clickbait? Even dogs get scammed—where’s the justice?]
[I’ll Carry Mid to Victory: …You tell me, is it really an eight-player game?]
[David: …]
Xu Ye covered the unbearable sight of the rules with her hand, aimed at the largest piece of gold, and pressed the hook. After successfully grabbing the gold, she turned the media volume to its lowest setting.
The white-bearded old man struggled to pull the gold up, celebrating with animated gestures as he earned $500. The “Current Pit” label changed to display David’s name.
It was David’s first time playing such a game. Among the glowing gold pieces, he used an unbelievably precise and awkward angle to grab a small rock wedged between two pieces of gold.
[I’m Pretty: Why is this little kitty catching rocks?]
[David: Isn’t the smaller one worth more?]
[Little Husky: Well, in a way, that’s kind of impressive.]
David managed to snag an $11 pebble, while Nini missed two grabs in a row, her empty hook skillfully grazing the large gold pieces.
[Little Husky: Now I think David’s doing pretty well. At least when he leaves, he brings something back.]
The eight players took turns pulling up gold, critiquing one another along the way. After one round, David roughly understood the rules but stubbornly maintained his boss-like demeanor.
[David: Hah, this game is unreasonable. The smaller ones are harder to catch, so they should be worth more.]
[Xiao Bai: Someone! Change the rules for Boss David!]
In the next round, David ignored the diamonds and found something even more captivating—a walking, $2 “fortune” – the mouse.
He specifically targeted the empty-handed mice.
David used another odd angle to grab a mouse wedged between gold and diamonds, issuing commands like a boss.
[David: What are you waiting for? Catch the mouse!]
[Little Husky: Have you ever heard the saying, ‘A dog catching mice is meddling in others’ affairs’?]
[I’ll Carry Mid to Victory: Cats catching mice is only natural. Very reasonable—David did a good job.]
[I’ll Support Carry to Fly: Bro, if you weren’t gnawing on the couch leg while saying that, I might’ve believed you.]
[Xiao Bai: Wait a second. If I’m not mistaken, that mouse-like thing is actually a piglet.]
By the end of the third round, after Nini’s empty hooks and David’s mouse-chasing escapades, one player finally lost their patience.
[Nini: May I ask, how’s everyone’s patience training going?]
[I’m Pretty: Pretty effective. Little Husky is banging his head against the wall—twelve times already. Really patient. He didn’t lie to us dogs!]
[I’ll Support Carry to Fly: Exactly. My brother’s been chewing the couch leg for five minutes now. He used to last only two.]
[Xioa Bai: Maybe we should… call it a day on patience training? Any more and it’d be impolite.]
This game didn’t lie. It really did train the players’ patience from scratch: first, it ground everyone’s patience to nothing, then started building it back up.
Xu Ye had seen a forum post earlier where someone mentioned they and their friends were close to finishing Gold Miner, only for the forum to crash. What kind of life-saving friendship could endure playing Gold Miner for so long without falling apart?
Among the mini-games, only Gold Miner allowed eight players. The others could accommodate a maximum of three. Exhausted from this brain-cell-killing game, the eight players politely said their goodbyes and paired up for other two-player games.
Xu Ye and David confidently opened Fireboy and Watergirl. This game seemed normal, just like the version she had played on a browser before.
David generously waved her to choose her character first.
When she was a child, Xu Ye always liked Watergirl’s blue body and flowing braid. Just as she was about to type in the chat that she’d play Watergirl, she locked eyes with Watergirl’s mesmerizing uneven pupils.
[Xiao Bai: I’ll take Fireboy.]
After selecting Fireboy, she noticed that he and Watergirl shared the same mismatched pupils.
Other than their color and braids, these two ridiculous characters seemed to share the exact same model.
During the game, they repeatedly performed ridiculous maneuvers, such as David jumping into the fire pit, Xu Ye into the water pit, or both jumping into the swamp to “die together.” Despite their chaotic antics, they managed to un-smoothly but successfully clear all branches of three major levels.
When the game ended, Xu Ye carefully saved the progress of this game that David couldn’t comprehend and attributed their mistakes to the difficulty of operating on a phone.
She sincerely expressed to David:
[Xiao Bai: Boss Dai, from now on, you and I share a bond forged in life-and-death situations.][mfn]Tl’s note: David’s Chinese pronunciation is Dai Wei, hence Boss Dai.[/mfn]
[David: Kid, you’re spouting nonsense again.]
After closing the row of nerve-wracking icons, Xu Ye finally noticed the group name of the games: 3288 Web Mini-Games + 8j8j Web Game Collection.
Huo Shuyan was actually using pirated games!
She decided to suggest to him tomorrow that everyone has a responsibility to support legitimate copies.
The Next Day at 9 a.m.
Xu Ye carefully packed a few bags of specialty products and showed up at the store door with large bags in hand.
Liu Shuo, lounging on the sofa, glanced at the pile of black plastic bags in her hands and pointed to a nearby green trash can, “Garbage goes there.”
He even stepped forward to help her throw them away, a gesture of gentlemanly politeness.
Xu Ye’s eyelids twitched. “These are some gifts I brought for you. My mom brought this coffee and snacks back from Brazil. This bag’s for you, and this one’s for Junior Huo.”
Liu Shuo put down his phone, surprised, and accepted the plastic bag with exaggerated gratitude. “You didn’t need to bring gifts just because you came. Honestly, I thought the property management of Fuli Mansion had gone on strike, and you were left to throw garbage outside.”
Xu Ye looked at the bags she had chosen—uniformly black, with matching holes, tattered yet bulging.
After entering the pet shop, Xu Ye distributed some coffee and snacks to the receptionist and the groomer. The thirty-something groomer, still youthful at heart, was watching The Young Chef Little Fuguai. The line “The Empress has long hair now!” echoed in the background, attacking Xu Ye’s brain.
The groomer looked up, delighted, and said to Xu Ye, “Look! What an excellent cartoon. I’ve already watched this scene fifteen times today.”
Xu Ye scratched the back of her head and instinctively stepped away from the groomer’s station. “You’re really devoted.”
Liu Shuo, having put away the plastic bag, leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “By the way, I think I’ve figured out what the netizens gave me.”
Xu Ye, intrigued, leaned in as well and asked, “What is it?”
Liu Shuo pointed at his hair, smiling so widely his eyes narrowed.
Xu Ye was stunned for a long moment before pointing at Liu Shuo’s Dove-smooth hair. “Are you actually bald? Did they give you a wig?”
He lowered his hand and shook his head. “How could this handsome guy be bald? Look at this part of my hair.”
Xu Ye walked around to check where he pointed. Aside from a mass of black, she couldn’t see anything else.
Liu Shuo smugly flipped his hair and showed off his healthy hair roots. “I used to stress too much in the early days of running the shop, which gave me a lot of white hair. Plus, I was shedding like crazy, and my hair was soft and brittle. Then, after… well, some indescribable things, I noticed my hair slowly darkening. At first, I thought it was the sesame paste finally working, but seriously, whose sesame paste repairs hair like this?”
He gestured at his head. “It started turning black and thickening in small patches, you know? A few days ago, I took in some stray cats, and there used to be a scar on the back of my head. Now, there’s new hair growth there.”
Xu Ye felt as if she had opened a door to a new world and circled around his head.
Moments later, she showed an envious expression. “That’s such a practical gift. Who could refuse longer hair?”
Her hair was moderate in volume—neither too thick nor too thin—but she occasionally envied those online with lush, voluminous hair.
Xu Ye looked away, consoling herself internally: Don’t be jealous. You’re a woman with rose quartz and cinnabar.
Liu Shuo, pleased with himself, gave his hair another light toss. “Tsk, people used to say I was a selfless nice guy. They didn’t understand anything. I may lack money, but I’ve gained hair.”
“What about Junior Huo? What did he get?” Xu Ye asked.
“He’s still the same old boy, completely unchanged,” Liu Shuo replied with a cryptic smile. “Probably because there wasn’t anything worth giving him.”
“Oh~ Hmm.” Xu Ye half-understood, turning her head to glance casually at the empty space near the groomer. Her gaze stuck on the toilet that had trapped the bangs cat.
Inside the fence labeled “Dog Paradise” was a familiar plastic toilet. A dog with golden braids stood obediently in front of it, while a line of small dogs queued up neatly nearby.
The first Pomeranian jumped onto the toilet, wiggled its butt into position, and jumped down a few seconds later, glancing at the braided dog.
The second, an unfamiliar small dog, repeated the same action—jumping up, squatting as if using the toilet, then hopping down to glance at the braided dog.
When all five small dogs had taken their turns, they stood in front of the braided dog, heads held high and chins pointing at the toilet, as if saying, Your turn.
The braided dog hesitated for a moment before cautiously climbing onto the toilet and mimicking the others’ posture.
The small dogs below barked excitedly at the sight.
Xu Ye nudged Liu Shuo’s arm. “What are they doing?”
Without looking up, Liu Shuo scrolled through his phone. “Oh, I saw them post last night that they were teaching the Yorkshire Terrier to use the toilet. Look.”
He handed her his phone, not noticing the page had refreshed to the forum homepage.
[Our new brother finally learned to use the toilet. At that moment, we all heard the sound of poop hitting the green grasslands.]
Xu Ye finished reading and genuinely admired their efforts. “Cleaning up must be such a hassle, though.”
Liu Shuo glanced at his phone and suddenly froze. “What the—did it actually poop in there?”
Author’s Note:
Xu Ye: Isn’t that what toilets are for?
