DREB CHAPTER 87

The butler was dismissed.

He had barely driven his electric scooter a block away from the Lu family mansion when Lu Lianning’s car blocked his path.

Lu Lianning invited him into the car and instructed his men to return the electric scooter to the Lu house.

Sitting in the car, the butler received a red envelope from Lu Lianning.

Although it wasn’t the end of the year, his year-end bonus had arrived early. The butler, unable to refuse, said that his pockets weren’t big enough and asked Lu Lianning to transfer the money directly.

–

Li Yan and Lu Zerui sat at the table. After a moment’s thought, Li Yan’s gaze fell on the bag of cash. How could a child get his hands on so much money? Was this sent by Lu Lianning?

Thinking this, Li Yan asked, “Did your dad tell you to bring this money?”

Seeing Li Yan’s displeased expression, Lu Zerui nodded hastily. If the money upset Li Yan, he certainly didn’t want to admit it was his own idea.

So, Lu Lianning found the boy troublesome but still sent him with a pile of cash. Was this supposed to be child support?

But why now? Was Lu Lianning planning to marry someone and saw Lu Zerui as a burden…

Lu Zerui had been well-fed and well-cared for at Li Yan’s. For the past few days, he had pestered Li Yan to make all sorts of meals, even insisting the steamed buns be shaped like rabbits. He wouldn’t eat the last one, wanting to show it off to Niu Niu and Er Niu from next door.

But things escalated when the two children started fighting over the rabbit-shaped bun, leaving Li Yan with no choice but to make another batch.

When Lu Zerui saw Li Yan making buns for other kids, he got so angry he stomped his feet and threw a tantrum, stubbornly refusing to share. Only after being scolded did he finally calm down, realizing he had upset Li Yan.

On Monday, Li Yan once again took him to kindergarten. Along the way, Lu Zerui fussed continuously, saying he didn’t want to go and that his dad no longer allowed him to attend school.

Li Yan was startled but didn’t believe him. The semester was already halfway through, and Lu Zerui was in his final year of kindergarten; it was unusual for him to still be resisting like this. It seemed as though Lu Lianning wasn’t paying much attention to him.

Li Yan brought him to school and informed the teacher to contact Lu Zerui’s guardians at the end of the day.

That evening, when Li Yan returned to Wujingwan Town, his mind was in turmoil. He couldn’t understand how Lu Zerui had suddenly appeared in his life.

He didn’t know how to deal with the situation. Beyond his complex feelings for the boy, he didn’t have the financial or physical means to take care of a child.

He rarely took medicine, but this time, after he did, an unsettling restlessness seemed to grow inside him, like wild weeds sprouting in his heart.

It seemed that the Lu family had quietly agreed that Lu Zerui would spend every weekend at Li Yan’s house while attending school in City A during the week.

Like a hardworking bee, Lu Zerui transported his toys bit by bit to Li Yan’s cramped home. It wasn’t until Li Yan told him there was no more space that the boy reluctantly stopped bringing things.

Three months later, on a rainy day, Lu Lianning drove alone to Wujingwan Town.

Mud splattered over his car as he stepped out and walked toward Li Yan’s house.

Over the years, he had imagined countless scenarios of meeting Li Yan again. He thought about how he should approach it, what kind of miracle would create the opportunity. Should he arrive perfectly composed, or in a disheveled state? He had considered many possibilities, only to dismiss them one by one.

Now that the day had come, he decided to use the same trick Li Yan had used before.

In the light drizzle, he walked into Li Yan’s small yard without an umbrella. His pant legs were soaked with mud, but he didn’t care. His heart pounded as he looked at the small garden where Li Yan had planted vegetables and cabbage.

Suddenly, he felt a mix of cowardice and sadness he couldn’t explain.

How had Li Yan managed all these years?

Had he suffered long-term health issues from not recovering properly during his postpartum period? Had his body healed? Did he still have nightmares? Was he still afraid of the dark? What did his new nightlight look like…

Had he ever thought about Lu Lianning, even for a moment?

When rain soaked his small vegetable patch, when the wind howled through the windows, when snow piled on the roof and blanketed the ground, or when seedlings sprouted in the fields once again—had Li Yan ever thought of him through those countless days and nights? Not even once? Or did he still hate him so much that he wanted to die?

Li Yan’s yard was small, just a few steps across. Yet to Lu Lianning, it felt like an eternity to cross.

When he finally exhaled and stood at Li Yan’s door, he raised his hand slowly and knocked twice.

Li Yan had just poured himself a glass of water after taking medicine. Each time it rained, his back would ache, triggering a relentless cough that kept him up all night.

At the sound of a knock, he set down the glass, his brows furrowing.

It was rare for him to have visitors so late at night, especially on a rainy day like this. Lu Zerui never knocked this politely; he’d usually pound on the door, calling out Li Yan’s name over and over.

Just as Li Yan stood up, he heard the tentative voice from outside. “Li Yan?”

He froze, his eyes widening instantly. That voice belonged to Lu Lianning. Even through the door, with the rain pouring outside, Li Yan recognized it immediately.

For a long moment, Li Yan didn’t respond. He didn’t move to open the door or say a word.

Outside, Lu Lianning called his name again.

Li Yan’s eyelashes trembled as he steadied his voice as much as he could. “What are you doing here?”

This time, it was Lu Lianning who hesitated, realizing Li Yan had no intention of letting him inside to talk.

His muffled voice came through the door. “I wanted to see you.”

Almost immediately, Li Yan replied, “There’s no need.”

Lu Lianning’s lips tightened. Of course, you don’t need it. I do.

He took a breath, his tone patient and unusually calm. “I only want to see you. I won’t do anything. Could you just open the door?”

But Li Yan remained cold. “I don’t want to see you.”

At that moment, Lu Lianning’s face went pale. His rain-soaked hair clung to his forehead, and his drenched clothes made him uncomfortable. But none of it stung as much as Li Yan’s words.

Rain trickled down his hair, sliding to his neck and beneath his clothes, loosening the blocker patch at the back of his neck. Gradually, the scent of citrus spread through the rain, seeping through the cracks in Li Yan’s door and windows.

Lost in his emotions, Lu Lianning didn’t notice, but Li Yan quickly sensed it and shouted, “Stop releasing your pheromones!”

Lu Lianning immediately raised his hand to cover the back of his neck. His reaction at that moment was exactly like that of a student in class who didn’t know the answer but was called on by the teacher.

It hadn’t been intentional. Faced with Li Yan’s cold rejection, he’d nearly lost control. Pressing himself against the door, he murmured, “Are you sick of my scent now?”

Yet that scent had surrounded Li Yan for years. After he left, it became Lu Lianning’s only solace.

As raindrops dripped from his lashes, Lu Lianning began speaking without thinking. “But Chen Yaxin is an Omega. Her scent must be even more cloying than mine…”

Li Yan couldn’t stand him mentioning Chen Yaxin. He leaped up, grabbed the enamel cup from the table, and threw it hard at the door. “Get lost!”

The cup hit the door with a sharp clang, bouncing twice on the floor before coming to rest at Li Yan’s feet. He was breathing heavily, his eyes frighteningly red.

Outside, Lu Lianning instinctively took two steps back, as if the cup had struck his face instead of the door. He stumbled, stepping into a puddle. His shoes were already soaked, but he didn’t care anymore.

All he knew was that he had messed things up again. Li Yan had never told him to “get lost” before, but now, he was angry enough to say it.

It wasn’t that Lu Lianning never got angry or had no temper of his own. But he could no longer bring himself to be mad at Li Yan. In the five years since Li Yan had left, all his resentment had faded, worn down during sleepless nights, clutching his blanket, his pheromones filling the air as he whispered Li Yan’s name.

There was no further sound from inside, but Lu Lianning still couldn’t bring himself to give up.

He stepped forward again, pressing his palm against the wooden door. The door was so thin and worn that he felt tempted to say something harsh, like how he could easily kick it down. But the truth was, even tonight, he had knocked so gently.

He knew too well that he held no sway over Li Yan anymore.

All his pride had surrendered to Li Yan’s moods. He wanted to say something to make him happy, but he was too clumsy at pleasing others.

In the end, he leaned his face closer to the door. Peering through a small crack, he could just make out Li Yan’s table inside.

The rain had gradually stopped, and after a while, the moon emerged from behind the clouds. Moonlight spilled over Lu Lianning’s rain-soaked shoulders. He had been standing there so long that his arms and shoulders ached, yet he didn’t lower his hand from the back of his neck.

The once-arrogant man had finally bowed his head, willing to carve his own ribs into a crude flower of love, all for a glimpse of Li Yan through the narrow crack in the door. His longing stretched as endlessly as the night.

It turns out that, in this world, all those who love but cannot have are the same.