The dinner ended quite quickly.
After all, it was a company dinner, and since Wen Yun didn’t want to stay, no one dared to keep him there.
Of course, everyone tacitly chose to pretend not to notice the few Cantonese dishes that mysteriously appeared on the table halfway through the meal.
Anyway, these dishes weren’t on the restaurant’s menu.
None of them had ordered them either.
Xie Zhinan didn’t know that Cantonese food wasn’t on the menu and just assumed the restaurant had a diverse selection of dishes.
After all, he didn’t like seafood, so having some Cantonese dishes wasn’t bad.
The drinks served were also delicious.
The mango sago, sweet and sour, was something Xie Zhinan enjoyed drinking a lot. By the end of the meal, his stomach felt a bit bloated, so he went to the restroom.
He didn’t return for quite a while.
Wen Yun had already developed a full understanding of Xie Zhinan’s behavior.
He could easily guess that Xie Zhinan didn’t want to come back, but he was too timid to leave, so he was just hiding in the bathroom to waste time.
A patient hunter could always follow the traces of its prey to find where it’s hiding, and then make the final strike.
Wen Yun was also about to get up to leave, but before doing so, Manager Yang came over with a glass of wine, probably to apologize, and spent a long time talking in a roundabout way.
He talked for a while, but Wen Yun just coldly watched him.
Manager Yang, under Wen Yun’s gaze, felt a pang of discomfort, his voice gradually fading until it was silent.
“Manager Yang,” Wen Yun finally spoke.
“Ah, yes,” Manager Yang replied quickly, sweating.
Under the cold light of the room, Wen Yun’s eyes had an inorganic chill like glass beads, almost emotionless. He said, “I’ve never forced him to do anything he didn’t want to.”
Their company didn’t endorse such behavior.
But Wen Yun wasn’t talking about the company never forcing its employees’ will; he was saying that he had never forced Xie Zhinan.
The result was the same, but the essence was different.
And Manager Yang had just violated both of those points.
Those words hit Manager Yang like a bombshell. In an instant, he realized he was probably in trouble, his heart sinking and his mind feeling dizzy.
He opened his mouth to say something, but Wen Yun had already stood up and left.
Wen Yun walked into the corridor of the second-floor restroom.
Since the restaurant had been booked exclusively for their company that night, and most of the employees were downstairs, the corridor was quiet, and there was no one in sight.
This time, their team-building budget was ample, and they had booked a high-end restaurant with excellent dishes and tasteful décor. The restroom didn’t have any unpleasant odors and instead had a faint scent of fragrance wafting through the air.
At least, Wen Yun didn’t have to worry about Xie Zhinan suffocating in there for too long, he thought.
He lowered his gaze, standing against the wall, dressed in a pristine white shirt and a gray vest, his jacket casually draped over his arm.
Wen Yun’s posture was somewhat lazy, but his broad shoulders and narrow waist gave him an elegant silhouette. His shoulder line was taut and straight, while his waistline was neatly defined. His proportions conformed to the most perfect standards of human aesthetics, and even standing so casually, he didn’t appear sloppy.
The dim yellow light in the corridor bathed him, casting a warm halo around him, making him appear softer, with none of the cold, distant air he had at the dinner table earlier.
Xie Zhinan walked out of the restroom and saw Wen Yun in this state. His heart skipped a beat.
Noticing someone had come out, Wen Yun turned his head. His deep, black eyes, as usual, enveloped Xie Zhinan like the depths of the sea.
He didn’t speak, merely gazing at him.
Xie Zhinan’s throat tightened nervously as he swallowed, his voice hoarse as he asked, “What… are you doing here?”
“Afraid you’d run away,” Wen Yun said, his gaze not as restrained as usual. Perhaps it was because of the alcohol, but he appeared a bit more relaxed, yet still focused.
Xie Zhinan didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t withstand Wen Yun’s focused gaze, so he looked away and murmured, “I won’t run.”
“You ran yesterday,” Wen Yun said.
Once again, Xie Zhinan was being reproached. He moved his lips, wanting to say something, but in the end, he kept quiet.
After yesterday’s scene, there was no way to stay.
After parting on bad terms, this was the first time they discussed what had happened the previous day.
Xie Zhinan didn’t know where to begin, whether he should even say anything, so he pressed his lips together.
His lips were different from Wen Yun’s sharp, thin ones. They were fuller, hydrated, and when he slightly pressed them together, the soft flesh on both sides of his mouth gathered, making his face appear less thin.
Wen Yun’s gaze lingered on Xie Zhinan’s lips for a long time.
Xie Zhinan noticed.
Because Wen Yun’s gaze was so blatant and intense.
The cold tension that had been tightly held around him seemed to melt away with his relaxed movements.
He no longer restrained himself, nor did he hold back. His gaze was direct, unhidden, and like a flame, it landed on Xie Zhinan’s lips.
Xie Zhinan felt as if he were burning. He bit the inside of his lip and awkwardly avoided Wen Yun’s gaze.
At this moment, he wanted to say something to break the strange atmosphere, but it seemed like Wen Yun didn’t intend to make things difficult for him.
Wen Yun calmly looked at Xie Zhinan and asked, “Are you full?”
Xie Zhinan naturally didn’t expect that, in this lighting, in this atmosphere, with this gaze, Wen Yun’s question would be whether he had eaten enough.
Xie Zhinan answered a bit blankly, “Mm…”
Even though he had drunk little, his mind seemed a little foggy. He stuck out his tongue and lightly licked the corner of his lips, saying, “I’m full.”
Wen Yun watched as his red, moist tongue flashed briefly between his soft lips, and the dim yellow light overhead poured down, casting the shadows of his lashes onto his eyes, making them seem deep and dark.
But he didn’t say anything, not even a movement. He simply looked at Xie Zhinan and asked, “Do you want to hang out for a while or go back to the hotel suites?”
He seemed to be… very respectful, as if following some kind of etiquette.
But Xie Zhinan still felt a dangerous presence, especially when he was being looked at by Wen Yun’s dark eyes.
It felt like he was about to be caught by a beast, its teeth sinking into his fragile throat, ending his life in one swift strike.
He shivered inexplicably.
Wen Yun slightly furrowed his brows and asked, “Cold?”
Xie Zhinan shook his head and replied, “Not cold.”
Then, he added softly, “I want to go back.”
Wen Yun casually hummed in response, and, knowing that Xie Zhinan didn’t want to stay, said, “Then let’s go.”
It sounded as if he meant to go back with him.
Did Wen Yun stay at the same hotel?
When Wen Yun saw that Xie Zhinan hadn’t moved, he raised an eyebrow and asked, “Aren’t you going back?”
“…I’m going,” Xie Zhinan said.
Slowly, he moved, and as he passed by Wen Yun, he accidentally glanced to the side.
As expected, Wen Yun straightened up and walked beside him, matching his pace.
Shoulder to shoulder, Xie Zhinan once again found himself enveloped by Wen Yun’s presence.
It was like falling into an invisible cage.
…..
Coastal cities are always humid. On the way back to the hotel, they passed a beach. The sea was so close that the air carried the salty taste of seawater.
The sea breeze tousled Xie Zhinan’s hair. It had grown out, and he hadn’t had it trimmed in the past two months. His soft light brown hair stuck to his pale face, and he kept brushing it away with his fingers, only for the wind to blow it back again.
After a few times, he seemed a bit frustrated and furrowed his brows, about to lift his hand to brush his hair away again.
But before he could, someone else had already moved ahead of him and brushed his hair aside.
Xie Zhinan turned his head towards Wen Yun.
In the vast sunset, Wen Yun’s expression was as calm as ever. His gaze was steady as he gently swept the hair away from Xie Zhinan’s ear.
Xie Zhinan’s face was chilled by the sea breeze, but Wen Yun’s hand was burning hot.
Despite looking so cold, Wen Yun’s body temperature was always high, and Xie Zhinan felt his ear, which Wen Yun had touched, warm up, like the distant, brilliantly colored clouds setting the sky on fire.
Wen Yun still looked at him with that same intense gaze.
His brow and eyes were cold with a distinct curve, but his gaze was focused, deep, like fine snow or a dark, deep lake—anything that could drown Xie Zhinan, suffocate him, and leave him no escape.
Xie Zhinan felt the danger again.
From a long time ago, he had felt that Wen Yun was always tense.
He was restrained, indifferent, distant, always detached from the crowd.
But Xie Zhinan always felt that maybe Wen Yun didn’t want to be this way.
There was a powerful, burning fire in Wen Yun’s heart, like lava moving beneath the ice.
Xie Zhinan had been saved by him before, so he had caught a glimpse of the warmth beneath the ice.
But back then, Xie Zhinan had been too timid to ask, and Wen Yun had never volunteered to speak about it.
So, Wen Yun always appeared this tense, cold, and suppressed.
Maybe he held everything back so tightly that when he did act, especially in bed, it was always extremely fiery and intense, as if he were about to crush Xie Zhinan’s bones and devour them.
But once they got out of bed, their relationship reverted to the same calm, stagnant, and uneventful dynamic.
For a long time, Xie Zhinan and Wen Yun didn’t talk much when they met—just existed in each other’s presence.
As time went on, with each meeting, Xie Zhinan began to feel a little sad.
He felt that rather than defining their relationship as lovers, it would be more accurate to call them casual partners.
With a few other reasons in play, it wasn’t long before they broke up.
Five years apart.
But something was still different.
Since they reunited, Xie Zhinan always felt that the intense passion in Wen Yun seemed to be impossible to suppress, almost as if it was going to burn him too.
Tonight, that layer of silent, surging desire came through Wen Yun’s eyes, but it fell on Xie Zhinan softly and quietly.
It was gentle, yet undeniably forceful.
Xie Zhinan felt… that Wen Yun was too strange.
He himself was strange.
Everything about the situation felt strange.
Just yesterday, they had parted on bad terms in Wen Yun’s office—at least, that’s how Xie Zhinan saw it.
All the words had been laid out clearly, saying they shouldn’t continue like this, that they couldn’t keep doing this.
So what were they doing now?
“Wen Yun.” There were small fireworks being set off by the sea. The sky had darkened a few shades from earlier, and the faint, colorful light from the fireworks reflected on Xie Zhinan’s face, showing his confused and bewildered expression.
The cool breeze stirred a few strands of his hair, brushing across his forehead. Wen Yun reached out with his fingertip to gently push the hair away, the tips brushing his lashes. It tickled a little, and Xie Zhinan’s lashes fluttered, looking helpless.
“Aren’t we supposed to keep our distance?” he asked.
“Are we?” Wen Yun asked back, his voice flat, showing no change.
“I feel… we…” Xie Zhinan’s brows furrowed. His expression was both confused and torn, unsure of how to express himself. “This… shouldn’t be happening.”
Again, he said it—“shouldn’t.”
Wen Yun then asked, “Then what should be happening?”
What should it be?
Xie Zhinan… didn’t know.
He pressed his lips tightly together and shook his head.
This answer clearly didn’t satisfy Wen Yun.
Neither did the answer from earlier.
Xie Zhinan could tell Wen Yun wasn’t satisfied, because his gaze was still heavy, locking onto him.
He felt… like Wen Yun was waiting. Waiting for him to say something.
Not these words, not about keeping their distance, not about how this shouldn’t be happening, but something else entirely.
What else?
Xie Zhinan’s heart was pounding, lifting high, and he had to grip it tightly to keep it steady.
All his energy and focus were consumed by holding onto this unruly, willful heart that always betrayed its owner’s will, leaving little room to think about what exactly Wen Yun was waiting for him to say in this moment.
The sunset had completely sunk, and the sky and the sea turned into a dreamy, dusky blue-purple.
The sea breeze still gently blew, and tourists on the beach continued to laugh, but for Xie Zhinan and Wen Yun, the world was silent.
They could only hear each other’s breathing.
Wen Yun’s gaze slid downward, landing on Xie Zhinan’s hand. He said to him, “Don’t pinch your hand.”
Xie Zhinan had this habit of pinching his hand when he was nervous or anxious.
Because Wen Yun had touched his left pinky finger earlier, he was now pinching the pad of his own pinky finger.
Upon hearing this, Xie Zhinan was startled, as if shocked, and quickly hid his hand behind his back.
Wen Yun raised his eyes to glance at his face, then looked at the hand hidden behind his back. He couldn’t see anything, only the elbow of Xie Zhinan’s arm.
“What are you hiding from?” His brows were blurred in the evening light, but his gaze was still incredibly clear, locked onto Xie Zhinan. His voice lowered, slightly hoarse, as he asked, “Do you have to hide from this too?”
Upon hearing this, Xie Zhinan was suddenly reminded of many things, like the time at the restaurant when Wen Yun, through layers of people, silently told him not to hide.
He also remembered earlier, when he was forced to socialize, Wen Yun’s hand had stayed pressed against his.
Xie Zhinan knew it wasn’t Wen Yun’s intention, but rather Manager Yang’s own initiative.
However, when people experience such things, it’s hard not to feel panicked. Wen Yun’s warm, dry fingers on his hand had somehow steadied him, little by little.
Then, his fingers were suddenly, almost like a punishment, harshly squeezing.
Because he had said that he had never been in a relationship.
At that moment, Xie Zhinan felt a little smarter.
He thought, could Wen Yun… be waiting for me to explain, or rather, waiting for me to…
Comfort him?
This thought was so absurd, so over the line, so… wrong.
But Xie Zhinan’s heart was racing, pounding rapidly in his chest.
It felt like his chest had turned into a thin membrane, and his heart was banging against it, one thump after another, almost breaking through. The sound of his own heartbeat was so loud in his ears.
His throat felt a little dry, and he tried to speak, but he really didn’t have the courage to say such things, nor had he figured out exactly what to say. All he could do was exhale a breath from his lungs, and it passed through the narrow, rusty throat. He opened his mouth, but the words that needed to be said remained stuck in his throat.
The temperature dropped, and a cold breeze blew by. Xie Zhinan shivered.
Wen Yun lowered his eyes, hiding his emotions, and draped his jacket over Xie Zhinan’s shoulders. He said, “Let’s go back to the hotel.”
In that instant, Xie Zhinan’s heart stopped beating, then thudded painfully in his chest.
Was Wen Yun disappointed?
His gaze became a little moist, revealing a helplessness and vulnerability that even he himself hadn’t noticed.
Xie Zhinan might not have realized it, but his emotions were written all over his face, every little bit reflected honestly in his eyes.
Wen Yun sighed silently, saying, “It’s cold, let’s go back.”
Xie Zhinan could only say, “…Okay.”
They walked on the beach, facing the cool sea breeze, and returned to the hotel.
Along the way, they didn’t speak again.
Until they reached the hotel and arrived at Xie Zhinan’s door.
There were several times when Xie Zhinan wanted to speak but stopped himself, stealing glances at Wen Yun.
But this time, Wen Yun didn’t look at him at all.
So Xie Zhinan couldn’t find the opportunity to say anything.
Maybe it’s better not to speak.
It probably shouldn’t be said.
They should maintain their distance, not stick so closely together like this.
Unclear, ambiguous.
But with that thought in mind, when they reached the hotel door, Xie Zhinan still glanced at Wen Yun one more time.
Wen Yun also lowered his gaze, looking at him, his eyes silently drawing him in.
Xie Zhinan finally moved his lips, his heart pounding wildly, his ears buzzing, and said, “…Then I’ll go in.”
Wen Yun made a soft sound of acknowledgment.
He didn’t say anything, and neither did Xie Zhinan.
What was there to say?
How should it be said?
There was no more time to delay.
Click. The hotel room door opened.
Xie Zhinan walked in slowly.
—You always leave without saying goodbye.
That sentence echoed again in Xie Zhinan’s mind.
After entering the room, he mustered up his courage once more, looked at Wen Yun, and said, “…Goodbye.”
No, no, this wasn’t the right answer.
This wasn’t what he was supposed to say.
The door slowly closed, the gap shrinking bit by bit, until it shut completely with a soft click, Wen Yun’s figure disappearing entirely.
Xie Zhinan leaned his back against the door, as if all the strength had been drained from him, and he slid down weakly.
Coward.
He thought.
Wen Yun wasn’t wrong to call him that. How could he not even manage to give an explanation?
How could he still not handle things properly?
Wen Yun had probably already left.
It’s better not to be with someone like him after all.
Xie Zhinan began to feel intensely disgusted with himself once again.
Wen Yun’s suit jacket wrapped around him, and he was surrounded by Wen Yun’s scent.
Xie Zhinan gave up entirely, wrapping himself in the jacket and burying his face in it, inhaling deeply. He let the scent seep into his lungs, seeking some small sense of comfort.
Suddenly, the sound of a phone ringing broke the stillness of the room.
Xie Zhinan sluggishly fumbled in his bag for his phone. Without even glancing at the screen, he answered, his voice listless. “Hello?”
On the other end came a heavy, familiar sound of breathing.
Xie Zhinan’s eyes widened slightly, his expression blank and dazed. Slowly, he lifted his head from where it had been resting on his knees.
A cold, low voice came through the receiver: “Xie Zhinan.”
Xie Zhinan’s heartbeat grew erratic again. His throat tightened, and he swallowed hard before replying, “Mm.”
“Why is it so hard to get a word out of you?” the voice on the other end said.
It was a reproach.
Xie Zhinan’s heart sank again. He opened his mouth to apologize but hadn’t gotten the chance before the voice continued.
“Open the door.”
Knock, knock.
Behind him, the sound of knocking echoed.
[mfn]
Author’s Note:
I’m completely drained (collapse) (dazed).
Thank you for your support~
See you next time~
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