He didn’t ask, but Shen Qing’an seemed to have noticed his expression, and explained generously: “I used to work in a university, but left after encountering some problems when doing scientific research.”
“I was still young at the time, and only thought about work. After a few years of arguing with others, I finally left at my own expense. Before I knew it, I was already this old.”
In just a few words, Shu Wen could feel the hardships involved. Resigning from a university, or being persuaded to quit, is considered a stain on one’s academic career, and makes it difficult to get funding for future projects.
He doesn’t understand the rules of the academic circle, and believes that Dr. Shen would not do anything against his morals. Asking about it will only bring up bad memories.
Shen Qing’an looked at Shu Wen’s face, and found that the omega in front of him was very calm. After so many years, he no longer minds telling others what happened back then, and he is also used to those looks of pity or sympathy.
Most people will carefully avoid this topic, for fear of touching his years of scars, but no one has ever been this… calm.
Not only is he calm, but it can even be said to be empathetic.
It was as if he also wasted more than ten years because of a meaningless insistence, or because he couldn’t help himself.
“Later, Lu Feng, that is, Lu Yunye’s father approached me and asked me if I wanted to be the family doctor of the Lu family. At that time, the Lu family wanted to invest in building a nursing home, so I came here.”
Shen Qing’an unhurriedly cut up the other plate of lamb chops. “So you see, I am unlucky, but I can still turn around.”
“You are very lucky.” Shu Wen said.
“Yes, but…” Shen Qing’an stopped his hands, looked into his eyes and said, “Everyone of us will experience some bad things more or less. Don’t punish yourself for those uncontrollable things.”
“I became a doctor when the general environment in the academic circle was not good, and I raised two cats because I lived alone. When someone or something leaves your life, something new will come in. Why don’t you try looking forward?”
After returning to the ward, Shu Wen seemed to be in a better mood. He asked the nurse for a pen and paper, and began to draw in a daze.
At first, it was a graffiti sketch for practicing – a vase on the table, a leaf outside the window, various lines with unknown meanings. Later it was a Windsor knot, a two-color collar, or a button with a strange shape.
Ever since he left Feiyi, he didn’t dare to look back at his previous ideas. He only revisited some fashion magazines in recent years. The design circle remakes itself every few years, and with his understanding of the classics, it’s not hard to get back in touch with current trends.
He obviously hasn’t drawn for a long time, but those patterns seemed deeply engraved in his mind.
Dr. Shen often came to his room to take him out for a walk, or just sat quietly and watched him draw. Often when Shu Wen raised his head after painting, he would find that the person had disappeared.
A few days passed peacefully. One night, Shu Wen finished his routine checkup and was about to go to sleep when he was keenly aware that something was wrong with his body.
Heat surged, accompanied by bursts of pain in the back of his neck, and within a few minutes he was dripping with cold sweat.
His estrus period has arrived – the marked body craves frantically for the reassurance of its partner.
Over the years, because of Shi Jinpeng’s excessive demands and deliberate guidance, his body has slowly changed. The estrus period is longer, not easily relieved, and is accompanied with extreme pain.
Shi Jinpeng liked to see him begging for mercy and rolling all over the floor, so Shu Wen habitually endured it, even mutilating himself to use the pain to clear his mind.
The usual elegant orchid fragrance exploded in an instant, and he couldn’t control his pheromones anymore. The traces on the glands were like marks made by demons, reminding him that he was still trapped by the unbearable past.
He huddled under the quilt, like a dying white sheep with bruises all over his body, without any horns that could hurt others. His originally warm eyes were out of focus due to the pain, and despite his discomfort, his throat could not make a sound, so he could only endure the silence alone.
Finally, the omega pheromone spread to the corridor. Shen Qing’an was on duty tonight, and easily heard the sound of chaotic footsteps outside. The nurses had no time to inform him as they ran to Room 7 with tranquilizers and inhibitors.
“Mr. Shu, just bear with us. You’ll be fine soon.” Two beta male nurses held him firmly, forcibly rolled up his sleeves, exposing his thin and pale arms, trying to inject the sedative.
“Rubber tube.” The head nurse wiped the sweat from his forehead. Shu Wen’s blood vessels are inherently thin, so the needle needs to be positioned well first; it is difficult to complete the injection in one go when he is struggling and moving around.
Shu Wen hated the way he looked at this time. Feeling the gazes on him dragged him into the inescapable nightmare of the past. He curled himself up desperately, gasping for breath, “No, don’t…”
“I was wrong, don’t treat me like this…”
No one could hear his indistinct ravings. By the time the head nurse discovered that something was wrong, he didn’t seem to be breathing. His chest was moving up and down in quick motions, but it was as if no oxygen could enter his lunds. His whole face was flushed, and his eyes were unfocused.
“Get out of the way.” Shen Qing’an’s command came from behind. It was the first time the nurses had ever seen him so serious, and they all stepped aside unconsciously.
Dr. Shen half hugged Shu Wen, letting him lean in his arms, allowing his chest cavity to expand, and then reached out to cover his mouth and nose. He asked the people behind him, “Go find a paper bag.”
The head nurse immediately realized that it was the lack of carbon dioxide caused by hyperventilation. She snatched the kraft paper bag from a little nurse’s hand, poured out the documents inside, and handed the bag to Dr. Shen.
“Breathe,” Shen Qing’an whispered in the person’s ear, while replacing the hand over Shu Wen’s nose and mouth with the paper bag.
Air was gradually able to enter Shu Wen’s lungs again, like a splash of cold water in scorching heat. His chest was in severe pain, and his ears were buzzing, but there was a voice that was firmly guiding him: Breathe.
Finally, the excess oxygen was consumed, and he was able to calm down. He subconsciously grabbed the person around him, as if grabbing a lifeboat and said, “Give me an inhibitor.”
“It’s been injected,” Dr. Shen comforted softly. “It’ll be fine when it takes effect, don’t be afraid.”
Shu Wen shook his head in pain. A normal dose could not alleviate him at all. “Not enough… more, more…”
He knew his appearance should be horrible – tears rolling down the corners of his eyes and face flushed. “Don’t look at me…”
“Very ugly.”
Shen Qing’an was startled, then turned his head and said to the nurses: “You guys go out first.”
“But…” The head nurse hesitated. Shu Wen was clearly very resistant to them, and even three or four of them couldn’t control him. Is it really okay for Dr. Shen to be here alone?
“I’ll ring the alarm if necessary.” Shen Qing’an said.
The head nurse nodded and led people away, emptying out the room. Shu Wen closed his eyes and wept silently, as if he didn’t dare to face his shattered self-esteem, and just one more feather would crush him.
Shen Qing’an didn’t make a sound, and even his arms turned still. A light bergamot pheromone slowly overflowed, refreshing and mild, with a sweet aftertaste. Shu Wen slightly opened his eyes – it was alpha pheromones.
“Feeling better?” Shen Qing’an’s voice sounded from the top of his head. He controlled the release of pheromones as excessive amounts may cause a rejection reaction due to the alpha mark on Shu Wen’s body.
Shu Wen was stunned, as if he didn’t expect that an alpha’s pheromones could be like this, gentle and soothing, without any aggressiveness or sexual invitation, gently wrapping him, like a cloud that can shelter one from wind and rain.
There was a unique hint of citrus in the blend of pheromones, but it wasn’t sweet and greasy. Shen Qing’an only released a little bit and it was enough, the pheromone in the air slowly diffused, leaving only a slight woody and bitter aftertaste, making people want more.
Shu Wen’s face gradually heated up.
He pushed Shen Qing’an away in panic, and escaped from the alpha’s embrace, “I, I’m much better, thank you.”
“Those inhibitors, you should use less. Your physical condition is quite special, and you have already formed an excessive dependence. The desensitization process will be relatively long.”
Shu Wen nodded in a panic, and buried himself in the quilt. “Dr. Shen, please go out first, I want to rest.”
He hid himself like a shrunken quail, thinking that he could cover up the shameful changes in his body. He never thought that due to Shen Qing’an’s many years of practicing medicine, every clue could be clearly seen in his eyes.
The slender and cool hand tucked the quilt firmly around him. “You don’t have to feel embarrassed, this is a normal physiological reaction. You…”
“You go out.” This was Shu Wen’s first time speaking rudely to him, but there wasn’t any force behind it due to the tremble in his voice.
Shen Qing’an was stunned for a moment, but still instructed: “If you feel uncomfortable, ring the bell. I will be on the night shift for the next few days.”
The person on the bed shrank himself further into the quilt and did not respond.
Under the quilt, Shu Wen bit his fingers tightly to avoid making any indecent noises. He has endured this familiar feeling like this for countless nights in the past ten years.
Being over forty years old, he has already experienced much and can disregard many things, but he didn’t expect his ugliness to be exposed to everyone’s eyes without warning.
If Shen Qing’an was just an ordinary doctor, he wouldn’t feel ashamed, and think of himself as a piece of dead flesh. But that person walked with him, watched him draw pictures, coaxed him with his cats, and even fried delicious lamb chops for him.
Once one has established an emotional connection, they will care about many things inexplicably.
Shu Wen has already forgotten the feeling of having a friend by his side; Shen Qing’an is like his friend.
When he curled up in those arms just now, sniffing the smell of his pheromones, he actually had a faint reaction.
He hated his own sensitive and fragile body. Apart from shame, he felt even more helpless. Even though he didn’t want to admit it, Shi Jinpeng left an unerasable imprint on his life. Shu Wen closed his eyes in pain, doubting he would ever be able to have normal social relationships in the future.
In the next few days, the doctors and nurses on the entire floor were on standby. It is not a trivial matter for Shu Wen to go into estrus. His body is already very weak, and his emotions are prone to large swings. In addition, with the mark on his neck, suffering is undeniable.
To everyone’s surprise, the weak-looking omega survived relying on his own strength alone. He returned to his usual gentle character, cooperated with treatment, curled up and slept most of the time, and even joked a few times with the nurse when awake.
It seemed that the frantic struggle and hysteria that night never existed.
Most of the patients in VIP nursing homes are either rich or have high status, and tend to have strange temperaments. In comparison, Shu Wen is very easy-going, friendly, and when his condition improved, the nurses were overjoyed.
Shen Qing’an was also happy. After Shu Wen’s condition stabilized, his treatment and surgery prognosis also improved. However, Shu Wen behavior changed – treating him indifferently and making him feel like something was wrong.
Shu Wen declined his invitations to take a walk with him, and every word spoken was in a businesslike tone, as indifferent and distant as when he first came to the nursing home.
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Oh my big bubu! ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡
Thank You for the new chapter （。ˇ ⊖ˇ）♡