Happy April Fool’s Day~
Zhou Mu moved carefully as he packed his belongings, trying to lower his presence and avoid disturbing You Qi, who was resting with his eyes closed.
Yet, every time he passed by, he couldn’t help but steal a glance. Then another. And another.
He also noticed that You Qi’s desk had a few books stacked on it, including Immortal Herb Cultivation, Immortal Herb Pharmacology, Mushroom Species Conservation, and so on.
His roommate, who looked like he belonged in a combat command major, was actually studying plant cultivation? That was unbelievable!
No wonder he had carried back a potted plant.
This realization made Zhou Mu feel a little more at ease. A person who tended to flowers and plants couldn’t be that bad.
“I…” Zhou Mu took two steps toward You Qi. “I can water your plant for you?”
The moment he spoke, You Qi’s eyes snapped open. Having spent so much time alone in the dorm, he wasn’t accustomed to another person’s voice in his space. For him, Zhou Mu’s so-called ‘safe’ distance was still well within his range of alertness.
The deep blackness of his eyes carried an almost palpable killing intent. Even the immortal herb he had brought back seemed to sense it and visibly wilted…
To You Qi, Zhou Mu’s careful, hesitant movements were clear as day—he was obviously afraid, yet still insisted on moving into the same dorm and even tried to talk to him.
Was this what a demon raised in a human settlement was like?
Had their sense of danger deteriorated? Did they trust rules and regulations too much, soaked in human naïveté?
With that thought, You Qi moved slightly.
It was just a small shift, yet Zhou Mu reacted as if he had seen a ghost. He startled, jumped back a step, then tripped over the edge of his bed and toppled straight into his freshly made blankets like a small, clumsy animal losing its balance.
Then, as if realizing how embarrassing that had been, he flopped his head back onto the mattress in silent frustration.
You Qi: “…”
His pale silver muzzle and forehead fringe concealed most of his expression, but a flicker of confusion flashed through his deep black eyes.
…So weak.
Was it because he had lived among humans for so long that he no longer instinctively called upon his own spiritual energy?
How did Hualing Academy even admit a student like this?
Zhou Mu, thoroughly humiliated, crawled out of his blankets and shuffled back toward You Qi again.
This time, perhaps trying to prove he wasn’t that useless, he glanced down at his feet when he reached his original standing spot.
Then he took two more steps forward.
To show he wasn’t scared.
You Qi: “……”
…Even the slowest of animals would know to steer clear of him.
And yet, despite everything, those extra two steps—even if they came late—were still forward, not backward.
Even if you called him slow, naive, or foolish, that alone made You Qi pause for a second.
He frowned. “That’s my homework…”
The Guardian Herb—his mentor had assigned him to cultivate it until it could ‘speak.’
Zhou Mu immediately caught the refusal in his tone and felt a little disappointed. But just as he was about to back away, You Qi suddenly added, “Go ahead.”
Huh? Zhou Mu, surprised by the unexpected turn, quickly grabbed the watering can. “Okay, okay, no problem!”
You Qi: “…”
……
Zhou Mu still hadn’t picked up his textbooks, so after finishing his dorm setup, he went to retrieve them. You Qi had to collect his own new books as well.
Neither of them spoke, nor did Zhou Mu say, “Let’s go together.”
But he still trailed exactly three steps behind You Qi, heading in the same direction. It was a sort of… semi-companionable solo journey.
When they reached the office, the cool air inside was obvious—the glass doors were firmly shut.
A teacher was just about to step out. Halfway through opening the door, he spotted You Qi approaching and immediately stepped aside, holding the door open. “Good day, students!”
You Qi walked in without even turning his head. “Good day, Teacher.”
Zhou Mu: “…”
Quickly following, he squeezed through the door and politely added, “Good day, Teacher.”
The ones handing out books were three ghost cultivators.
That’s when Zhou Mu realized—it wasn’t air conditioning making the room feel cold. It was just… them.
“Which professor are you apprenticed under?” one of the ghost cultivator students asked.
Hualing Academy functioned somewhat like highly specialized human institutions— students followed the traditional master-disciple system but also attended modern lecture-style courses.
“Luhai Sanren,” Zhou Mu answered. “He teaches Water-Element Demon Ecology and Resource Studies.”
“Ohhh,” the ghost cultivator responded, quickly moving a pre-sorted stack of books toward him.
Zhou Mu took them into his arms—the topmost book nearly reaching his chin.
Luckily, he wasn’t truly weak, just unused to constantly using his spiritual energy. Holding the stack was easy.
Compared to him, however, You Qi’s treatment was… very different.
Unlike Zhou Mu, the ghost cultivators knew—one’s major had nothing to do with You Qi himself.
There was even a long-standing rumor in the academy that the reason You Qi wasn’t allowed to choose a more ‘violent’ major was because the school leadership feared that if he was provoked, he would go on a rampage and break a fifty-year record at Hualing—by eating a fellow student…
Studying herbal medicine? Yeah, that was a much better choice.
There was no need to ask for You Qi’s details; everyone already knew what major he was in. The ghost cultivators quickly handed over his books without question.
Meanwhile, Zhou Mu followed behind You Qi as they left the office, glancing down at the book titles on the spines. Suddenly, he noticed one that looked completely out of place.
Among the pile of textbooks was a copy of Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
They gave him the wrong book!
“Wait, wait, hold on!” Zhou Mu shouted.
You Qi actually paused for a second, seeming a bit hesitant.
“They gave me the wrong book. I’ll go switch it out real quick.” Zhou Mu pulled Romance of the Three Kingdoms from his stack, then jogged over, set the rest of his books at You Qi’s feet, and wordlessly signaled for him to keep an eye on them while he ran back.
You Qi, who had never been treated this way before: “…?”
If it were anyone else at Hualing, being stared at by You Qi like that, they would probably have already screamed for the headmaster.
But Zhou Mu, believing that their ‘watering the plant’ experience had established some camaraderie, moved at lightning speed and sprinted back like a rabbit.
“Huff… Hey, classmate, I think you gave me the wrong book.” Zhou Mu found the ghost cultivator student from earlier. “Or did you give me an extra one? I’m in the Water Element Ecology program—why would I need Romance of the Three Kingdoms?”
The ghost cultivator glanced at the book and then at Zhou Mu with an odd expression. Seeing how genuinely clueless he looked, they asked, “Did you… not ask your mentor about this before school started?”
Luhai Sanren?
Zhou Mu was even more confused. “Of course I did. We even added each other on WeChat and chatted a lot. My mentor is an aquatic demon—he even showed me a picture of his true form. Turns out, he’s a snail! I couldn’t tell what kind, and I was too embarrassed to ask, so I posted online to see if anyone could help me figure out whether he was an apple snail or a field snail.”
The ghost cultivator: “…”
After a long pause, the ghost cultivator said, “Classmate… that book was written by your mentor.”
Zhou Mu blinked. “Which book?”
The ghost cultivator: “Romance of the Three Kingdoms.”
Zhou Mu: “?”
The ghost cultivator: “Luo Guanzhong.”
Zhou Mu: “???”
The ghost cultivator: “‘Guanzhong’ is his courtesy name. ‘Luhai Sanren’ is his alias. This is his greatest work, so every disciple gets a copy.”
Zhou Mu: “………………!!!!”
He quickly flipped open the book, and on the title page, he saw a handwritten inscription: To my disciple Zhou Mu—may you cherish this. ‘The great Yangtze flows eastward, washing away heroes with its waves.’ —Your mentor, Luo Guanzhong.
…It was even a signed, personalized copy!!
Zhou Mu was stunned. “All those history lessons I had in human school were fake?! What do you mean ‘based on historical events’—my mentor literally lived through the Three Kingdoms era?! And what about his other book, The Pacification of Demons—don’t tell me…”
Having spent years receiving a human education, the young demon was utterly shaken. He never expected that enrolling in a Water Element Ecology program would land him a mentor with a Chinese literature background.
The ghost cultivator smirked. “There are probably a lot of gaps in what you learned. You’d best make up for it while you’re here at Hualing. Life is finite, but knowledge is infinite!”
Only a ghost who had been educated before death could quote Confucius so fluently.
Zhou Mu: QAQ
The ghost cultivator chuckled. “You’re pretty cute. Zhou Mu, right? My name’s Xu Tianyi. You’re from a human-populated region? What a coincidence, I used to be human too. Which dorm are you in?”
Still in shock, Zhou Mu absentmindedly replied, “Building 5, Room 1203.”
The ghost cultivator wasn’t the only one who reacted—everyone in the office turned pale.
Wasn’t that… You Qi’s dorm room?!
The ghost cultivator was stunned. “Wait, you’re roommates with You Qi? That You Qi?”
He gestured toward his own mouth, mimicking the muzzle that You Qi wore.
Zhou Mu: “Yeah.”
The ghost cultivator’s expression became one of deep sympathy. He shoved the book back into Zhou Mu’s arms and, after thinking for a moment, offered some final words of advice: “If one hears the Way in the morning, they may die content in the evening.”
Zhou Mu: “………………”
By the time Zhou Mu rushed back outside, both the books and You Qi were gone. Clearly, waiting for him hadn’t been on You Qi’s agenda.
Left to return alone, Zhou Mu clutched the book in one hand, gazing at it like a treasure, while his other hand eagerly texted an old classmate: “I just got a signed special edition of Romance of the Three Kingdoms.”
His classmate, a full-blooded human, replied almost instantly with a short but powerful message:
“Are you insane?”
Hah. We’ll see who’s insane.
Reaching his dorm, Zhou Mu pocketed his phone and looked up—his opposite neighbor’s door was open, but the room seemed empty. He rubbed his nose and averted his gaze.
The next second, Chun Shijiu’s voice rang out from behind, accompanied by a strong smell of alcohol. “Have you eaten? I’ll take you to the cafeteria.”
Zhou Mu almost dropped his book. He turned around in shock, still reeling. “I’m not going!”
The way this guy said ‘go to the cafeteria’ sounded more like he was planning to head straight to the kitchen…
The more Zhou Mu trembled, the happier Chun Shijiu seemed to be.
Drunk, he looked even crazier than usual. Even though there was no noticeable scent on Zhou Mu, Chun Shijiu still leaned in and took a deep breath, his tone carrying a hint of intoxicated pleasure. That only made him seem even more terrifying.
“You know what? Just from that one whiff at noon, I ended up drinking ten jin of wine.”
Zhou Mu immediately darted into his dorm and slammed the door shut!
Inside, You Qi was fiddling with a pot of Guardian Grass. Zhou Mu noticed that his books had all been placed neatly on his bed. “Oh, thanks for bringing my books back.”
Fair was fair, and even though Zhou Mu had been raised in a pampered human environment, he still couldn’t help but whine a little. “Why didn’t you wait for me…”
He thought he was mumbling too softly for anyone to hear, and You Qi didn’t react—but in reality, he heard it loud and clear.
Amusing.
“Hehe.” Outside the door, Chun Shijiu chuckled.
Leaning against the door, he continued chatting with Zhou Mu.
“Come out and talk, Zhou Mu. I’ll show you around campus.”
“Who’s your mentor?”
“I have your favorite Student Handbook right here. Come out, and I’ll give it to you.”
“How do you like your meat cooked?”
Zhou Mu: “??”
Chun Shijiu was a total menace…!
Zhou Mu was just about to call the dorm supervisor when You Qi, still by the desk, suddenly picked up the entire pot of Guardian Grass.
The plant had been completely wilted from fear earlier, and it still hadn’t recovered.
Pinching one of its trembling leaves, You Qi clicked his tongue. “Tsk…”
The Guardian Grass shivered even harder.
A moment later, its drooping leaves suddenly unfurled again—
And You Qi casually tossed the whole plant toward Zhou Mu.
Zhou Mu, quick on his feet this time, caught it.
Without looking at him, You Qi said, “Hang it on the door.”
“…Oh.” Zhou Mu carefully opened the door a crack and saw that Chun Shijiu had actually gone off to fetch a Student Handbook for him. Seizing the chance, he hurriedly hung the flower pot onto the nail on the door and shut it quickly.
—“To the north of Changshan, there is a plant called Guardian Grass. If placed on a door, it will loudly rebuke anyone who passes by at night.”
Chun Shijiu saw the door close again and took a few steps forward in disappointment.
The alcohol in his system made his footsteps unsteady, and his behavior grew even more absurd—he even tried peering through the peephole.
Inside the dorm, the plant in the flower pot suddenly perked up, its leaves shaking violently. Then, in an ear-piercing shriek, it exploded into a furious rant: “Look look look—what the hell are you looking at, you damn pervert?! You goddamn son of a—, I swear I’ll—, you nasty piece of—, standing at someone’s door like a freak, you shameless rotten-eyed—! I curse your ancestors for eighteen generations, may their graves crack into twenty-eight pieces! Still looking?! STILL LOOKING?! I’LL—”
Chun Shijiu: “………………”
…Damn. He sobered up instantly.
The author has something to say:
Luo Guanzhong really did use the alias ‘Luhai Sanren.’ He wasn’t even hiding behind a pen name—Zhou Mu just failed to do his homework on his mentor.
