This sensation… why did it feel like… I shifted uncomfortably, pressing my legs together, trying to ease the discomfort.
I have always been used to doing this kind of thing by myself, and I am quite regular about it so that I can have no distractions when painting. But after Ming Luo’s death, my inspiration was exhausted, and I was drinking heavily for a long time, so I had problems in this area. The doctor even said that I might have impotence, but at this time, the lust was so strong that I couldn’t stand it. But although I was confused, I still had a trace of rationality. I knew where I was and what was going on. I didn’t dare to reach out and do anything, so I had to endure it.
In order to divert attention, I opened the tasseled curtain a little and saw that it was dark outside. We had already left the village and entered the forest. The young men and women on both sides of the sedan were scattering camellia petals all the way, and the wedding band was also beating gongs and drums all the way. It was very lively.
Why can’t I see Tunshe Nalin?
Wait, my pigments, the pigments I ground myself, wasn’t it said that Tai Wu would deliver it? I looked around and saw a figure chasing after the sedan chair. Wasn’t it Tai Wu?
“Wait! Stop the sedan!” I raised my voice, “Master Taiwu!”
I leaned out half of my body, and due to the alcohol, I fell out of the sedan chair when I wasn’t paying attention and fell flat on my face. Several people quickly helped me up, and Tai Wu also rushed over, took off the basket on his back, and stuffed it into my arms. He drooped his eyelids, not looking at me, but his lips were trembling: “The pigments are all in it, and I also put mining tools inside. When you run out of pigments, you can grind it yourself if you need more. I have taught you how to do it already.”
“I’ve got it. Thank you, Master Taiwu.” I nodded, hugged the basket, and was helped onto the sedan chair. Through the swaying tassels of the sedan chair curtain, I saw Tai Wu hurriedly wipe his face as he turned around. His back staggered away, and he seemed to have aged a lot in an instant.
It’s strange, but a wave of sadness hit me, it’s a feeling of reluctance toward Tai Wu. It was an emotion I hadn’t felt even when I said goodbye to my foster parents when I left for college all those years ago.
Once I sat back in the sedan, the heat that had been pushed away by the cold night breeze from the forest returned, making me restless again. I had no choice but to focus on the basket in my arms, checking if the tools inside were all there. However, as my hand touched something unusual, I couldn’t help but freeze for a moment.
I pulled the object out and examined it—turning it over from left to right, I realized it was a dagger.
Did Tai Wu make a mistake? Why would he give me a dagger? I wouldn’t need it for mining… as I thought this, my gaze inevitably fell on the red rope that bound my feet.
In my drowsy state, a thought suddenly surfaced, like a fish leaping out of the muck—
Could it be… that Tai Wu wants me to escape?
Does he know something? Does he think I’m in danger and is trying to help me?
The unease that had been forcefully suppressed surged up again. Without thinking, I gripped the dagger, but my wrist felt too weak to even hold it properly. Before I knew it, it slipped from between my legs and fell to the ground. As I bent down to pick it up, I heard a rushing sound of water. The light from the flowing stream reflected under the sedan’s curtains. I lifted the curtain and discovered that the sedan was passing over a small stream.
I recalled the terrifying nightmare from earlier when I changed clothes, and a lingering fear of the water remained in my heart. I quickly curled up my legs, shrinking into a ball on the soft cushion.
“Drip,” a drop of water fell on the back of my neck, the wet, sticky sensation grazing my skin.
I shivered and turned my head slowly but felt a chill in my abdomen. I lifted the hem of my skirt, but there was nothing there. But the next moment, my thighs were forcefully pried apart by an invisible force.
The back was see-through due to the water, and something cold and slippery was sticking to it.
A chill suddenly invaded my body. I jumped up and almost fell out of the sedan chair, but my feet were pulled hard by a force, and I sat back down. There was a “ding-dong” sound under my feet, and the chill on my back suddenly disappeared. I looked down and saw that the pair of tree vine anklets that Tunshe Nalin gave me had spread to my calves between the red strings and bloomed into a bright red camellia, which was extremely eye-catching against my skin that lacked sun exposure.
I swallowed my saliva, still in shock, and heard the sudden sound of gongs and drums outside, and someone exclaimed: “God, God Lord!”
I was startled and lifted the sedan curtain, only to see flickering candlelight not far across the stream. It was the bone temple where I had met Tunshe Nalin. His tall figure stood there, atop the white steps made from piled human bones, as if gazing down at the bridal procession from afar.
Seeing him, my panicked heart steadied, finding a firm place within me. I propped up my weakening body, picked up the basket that had slipped to the ground, and after a moment’s hesitation, I also placed the dagger Tai Wu had given me into it. What if I encountered those terrifying “corpse slaves” since I have to stay here in the forest for a while? It might come in handy.
“Present the Goddess Consort, honor the God Lord, bow—”
At the sound of the shout, the sedan was lowered before the bone temple. Everyone in the procession, except for me inside the sedan, dropped to their knees before Tunshe Nalin. I looked ahead and was surprised to see that even the tribe leader and several elders from the tribe were among them.
It was dead silent.
Tunshe Nalin stood silently on the bone steps, not saying a word. Despite his blindfold, an invisible pressure emanated from him, as though he were silently observing everyone. The oppressive feeling hung like a dark cloud above everyone, and even I, an outsider, couldn’t help but feel my heart tighten.
—He’s unhappy. Is it because he realized the goddess consort has been replaced?
I had this strong instinct, and fueled by the alcohol, I shouted at him, “Hey, Tunshe Nalin, I brought the pigments! I can touch up your painting tonight.”
“Who gave you guys permission to hold the divine marriage?” Tunshe Nalin ignored me.
I was taken aback. What, the ceremony wasn’t approved by Tunshe Nalin?
The old tribe leader, with his frosty white hair, trembled as he knelt on the ground, his voice quivering with fear. “We… we saw the God Lord return him to the village and thought that the God Lord favored him… so… please, God Lord, forgive us… please, God Lord, forgive us!”
“Forgive…”
I heard Tunshe Nalin repeat these two words and looked at him.
In the candlelight, his scarlet lips slightly raised, revealing a pair of canine teeth that were sharper than those of ordinary people. The cold light flashed, and there was an indescribable evil in his smile.
“Do you guys feel that you guys deserve to be forgiven?”
The moment he finished speaking, the group of people sending me off began to wail and sob. In the stillness of the night, it sounded like the cries of ghosts, it was eerily unsettling and mournful. I didn’t understand whether this was part of the ritual or if Tunshe Nalin’s words were rooted in some ancient tradition. But seeing these people, young men, elderly, and even children, kneeling before him in the cold night, felt strangely unsettling. The atmosphere was thick with sorrow and dread.
I couldn’t bear to watch any longer, so I lifted the back basket and got out of the sedan chair. But I forgot my feet were still bound, and before I could even land properly, I collapsed with a thud, kneeling to the ground.
Hearing the noise, a person in front of me turned around. It was Sangbuluo who looked like Professor Severus Snape. His facial expression was distorted. He glanced at me with a sinister and cruel look, as if he was filled with hatred. He whispered, “Lord God doesn’t like him, he brought disaster. Take him away!”
“Yes, yes!”
The two people on either side of me grabbed my arms and began to drag me forward, heading toward the stream. Were they planning to throw me into the water just because Tunshe Nalin was displeased? Dizzy and disoriented, I struggled, shouting, “What are you doing?!”
When my heels touched the bone-chilling stream water, fear surged into my heart. I took advantage of the alcohol to push aside the people on both sides, crawled to my knees in front of the human bone steps, looked up, and glared at Tunshe Nalin: “Tunshe Nalin, are you crazy? I worked hard for two or three days to grind the pigments just to repaint your painting and even dressed up as a goddess consort to see you, but you let them throw me into the water. You guys are really a bunch of lunatics!”
The alcohol took effect so strongly that the figure of Tunshe Nalin in front of me was divided into three, sometimes overlapping and sometimes separating. I vaguely saw him lowering his head, as if looking down at me.
I don’t know how pitiful I must look in this women’s clothing, sprawled under him. I feel both ashamed and humiliated. How did I end up in such a situation?
I don’t know if it’s just the effect of me drinking too much or something, but I kept feeling like his gaze lingered on my face for a long time, then slowly moved down my neck, across my waist, the legs exposed under my skirt, and the ankles bound by the red rope.
Perhaps it was really the potency of the deer blood wine. Just the sensation of being watched by him triggered a reaction. My head was spinning, and I closed my eyes, curling my body up, not knowing how to handle myself. Gritting my teeth, I trembled and said, “Tunshe Nalin… can you help me up… you…”
My arm tightened as cold fingers gripped it.
The next moment, I was lifted up, the tassels swaying loudly. Before I could see anything, I was dropped into the cold, hard embrace of a pair of steel-like arms.
I was picked up horizontally by Tunshe Nalin.
“Congratulations, congratulations to Lord God for marrying the Goddess Consort, your wish has been fulfilled!”
The tribe leader’s voice came at this moment, his tone filled with ecstatic joy, as if he had been granted a pardon. Then, the sound of drums and gongs filled the air. I looked towards them, and a group of people were banging on drums and gongs, while those with empty hands were prostrating themselves and frantically bowing, looking utterly strange and eerie.
“The wish, is fulfilled.” The voice that suddenly sounded in my ears was cold and deep, like a stone dropping into a deep, ancient well.
The surrounding noise abruptly ceased, and there was complete silence.
I looked at Tunshe Nalin in a daze and saw a hint of an ambiguous smile on his lips. “Do you guys think that, by sending a fake one, your sin can be forgiven?”
Fake?
“God… God Lord, is it… not done yet? He isn’t?” The tribe leader’s old voice was clearly tinged with a sob, sharp and sorrowful like the wail of a broken erhu.
“Forever… no pardon.”
After saying these three words, Tunshe Nalin hugged me and turned to walk into the cave, leaving behind a heart-wrenching cry outside.
Although I was curious about their question and answer and the inside story of the ceremony of sending the goddess consort to his wedding, I had no time to ask him—because my body was getting hotter and hotter, and my mind was getting more and more confused, which was really unbearable.
This made me doubt that the bowl of deer blood wine was not just wine but also mixed with some other ingredients. I leaned my head against Tunshe Nalin’s shoulder, my cheek against his cold, gold-embroidered satin robe and his body that looked like an ice sculpture under the thin fabric. I felt very comfortable and couldn’t help rubbing against him. I smelled the ancient and cold incense emanating from the hair on his neck, and the heat and dryness in my body instantly burned up like charcoal fanned by a breeze.
I clearly regarded him as my muse, and I would not and should not have any sexual desire for him, but at this moment, my instinct took control of my brain, breaking through the principles and restrictions I set for myself. I couldn’t help but bury my head in his thick hair, my nose touching the cold skin of his neck, and my lips brushing against his curly sideburns. My chin was suddenly pinched, and I was forced to look up: “How much wine did they give you?”
Our noses were touching, but I seemed to be able to vaguely see the shape of his eyes through the black cloth. They were long and sharp, like a pair of Persian daggers with extremely graceful lines.
“Let me see your eyes…” I murmured, and my other weak hand touched his temple. I wanted to remove the blindfold, but he grabbed my wrist.
“Unaware of, death.”
