For the first time in his life, Yan Chengfeng realized that even words could carry warmth.
The word “like” had barely formed on the tip of his tongue before he could utter it aloud. It burned so intensely that he couldn’t even hold it in his mouth, forcing him to swallow it down in a fluster.
And in this context, the person that word referred to was none other than Zhen Ning.
Yan Chengfeng felt as though all the blood in his body had rushed to his head. His first reaction was—
“How is that even possible?”
He couldn’t even string his words together properly, stammering, “Y-y-you must be crazy! You don’t even understand the situation between me and him. How could I possibly like him? What nonsense are you talking about…”
Xu Hao, inexplicably scolded, looked completely innocent.
“Yan-ge, I was just giving my personal opinion.” He shrugged. “As for the relationship between you and Zhen… uh, your omega friend, you definitely understand it better than I do. So, of course, you need to figure it out for yourself.”
“Everyone understands.” Xu Hao patted Yan Chengfeng’s shoulder with a solemn expression. “Back in middle school, before I got together with my fifth partner, my emotional journey was just as complicated. You only need to go through it once.”
Yan Chengfeng: “…You hadn’t even differentiated in middle school, had you?”
Xu Hao gave him a strange look. “Does differentiation matter that much? Feelings are independent of gender. If you feel something, you feel it. If you like someone, you like them.”
His tone was so earnest that it left Yan Chengfeng in complete turmoil.
He had never imagined he would have anything in common with someone like Xu Hao when it came to relationships. In fact, he hadn’t even intended to take the advice of a playboy like him.
And yet, before Xu Hao had even spoken, a thought had already begun to surface in Yan Chengfeng’s mind—one he simply hadn’t had the courage to explore himself. He had needed someone to voice it for him.
Did he… like Zhen Ning?
How could that be possible?
But then again, how could it be impossible? And if it was true… when had it even begun?
Yan Chengfeng was completely at a loss. He had no answers because Zhen Ning had simply… been by his side for far too long.
Back when Zhen Ning left, Yan Chengfeng’s anger and dejection had been so obvious that many who knew them found it strange.
After all, if it had just been a close friend leaving KYM to pursue a brighter future, the most one might feel was a bit of regret. Most would even offer their blessings.
But Yan Chengfeng’s reaction at the time… suggested he had cared far too much about Zhen Ning.
He just hadn’t realized it back then.
Zhen Ning had once been the person Yan Chengfeng cherished most, the one he held closest to his heart. At the time, they were both undifferentiated alphas, and Yan Chengfeng naturally thought of Zhen Ning as the person he was closest to—his best friend.
But he had overlooked how easily the line between friendship and something more could blur. And their interactions back then… more often than not, they had already crossed the boundary of mere friendship.
Yan Chengfeng felt lost, confused, shocked, and afraid. He never dared to think too deeply about it. These swirling emotions tangled together, and in the end, inexplicably transformed into… a kind of grievance.
Because suddenly, he remembered that game of Truth or Dare—that moment when Zhen Ning took a shot in response to Xu Hao’s question: “Has anyone ever made your heart skip a beat?”
Yan Chengfeng had felt uncomfortable at the time, and the memory had lingered like a tiny thorn buried in his heart, pricking him unexpectedly now and then.
That day, Zhen Ning’s gaze had been unwavering, as if he had a clear understanding of his feelings, as if he knew exactly who he liked—or had liked.
Why are you so hopeless, Yan Chengfeng? he asked himself.
His chest ached with bitterness. He felt ashamed and bewildered by the possibility of having feelings for Zhen Ning. He hated how pathetic he felt, and for some reason, that only made him even angrier.
Yan Chengfeng couldn’t pinpoint the origin of his emotions. Maybe he was angry at Zhen Ning for leaving him behind. Maybe he resented the fact that Zhen Ning had cared for someone else. Or perhaps, more than anything… he was simply angry at himself.
At the same time, he was confused and hesitant—a young alpha experiencing the first stirrings of love. He felt like he was floating, too afraid to take the next uncertain step.
He couldn’t confirm his own emotions, or maybe he already had an answer in his heart but was too afraid to acknowledge it.
Zhen Ning had noticed that something was off about Yan Chengfeng lately.
In fact, even before that kiss in the alley, he had already guessed how things would unfold afterward. He knew that Yan Chengfeng’s clinginess during his rut was purely instinctual. Once he came back to his senses and had time to reflect, he would likely struggle to face him or even find it hard to accept.
What Zhen Ning hadn’t expected was that Yan Chengfeng would go so far as to avoid him so blatantly.
That afternoon, they had just finished a few practice matches against a European team.
KYM was currently far ahead in points, having essentially secured the top spot for the Spring Split. However, with the more critical Summer Split looming, no one dared to slack off.
After the training matches, Tao Luo proudly pointed at the stats screen. “Fam, look at my damage! Who would’ve thought that taking a few days off would actually improve my skills? And that high-ground fight just now—was it flawless or what? Pure perfection! Anyone who agrees, just take a breath!”
Beside her, Xu Minghe couldn’t help but laugh, covering his face.
After finishing her boasting, Tao Luo looked refreshed, but something felt off. After a moment of hesitation, she turned her head and called out, “Yan Kitchen?”
Yan Chengfeng’s gaze shifted from the screen as if snapping out of deep thought. “…What is it?”
Tao Luo eyed him strangely. “Don’t you have anything to say?”
Yan Chengfeng: “No.”
Tao Luo’s expression turned alarmed. “Who are you? I’ve been bragging all day, and you haven’t said a single word to roast me? And earlier, during the second game, when we invaded the red buff and fought, I messed up my ult. I remember you were standing right next to me. Did you not notice, or…?”
Yan Chengfeng was silent for a moment before replying, “I noticed. It’s fine, just pay more attention to your timing next time.”
“I… I’m going to get some water.” He stood up abruptly.
Under Tao Luo’s bewildered gaze, Yan Chengfeng walked out of the training room.
Tao Luo remained stunned for a long moment before coming to her senses—completely shocked.
She clutched Xu Minghe’s arm in a panic, looking utterly flustered. “Who is he? Who am I? Lao Xu, pinch me! I think I’m dreaming! I must be dreaming! This can only be a dream…”
Meanwhile, Yan Chengfeng downed an entire glass of water.
He stared blankly at the empty glass for a long time. When he turned around, he saw Zhen Ning standing silently in the kitchen doorway. He had no idea how long Zhen Ning had been standing there.
For a moment, the air seemed to freeze.
“You told me before that you wouldn’t give me the silent treatment again.” He heard Zhen Ning say.
Yan Chengfeng stiffened instantly. He awkwardly averted his gaze and, after a long pause, replied in a dry voice, “I’m… I’m not giving you the silent treatment.”
Zhen Ning didn’t respond right away.
“You’re right. It’s not the silent treatment.” He nodded, his calm eyes meeting Yan Chengfeng’s as he added faintly, “You’re just deliberately avoiding me.”
Yan Chengfeng’s Adam’s apple bobbed.
“That’s not true. Don’t overthink it.” He turned his face away. “The Spring Split is nearing the end, and I’m feeling a bit tired, so my condition isn’t great.”
Of course, such an excuse wouldn’t fool Zhen Ning.
After a pause, Zhen Ning said softly, “If your current behavior and state are because of what happened a few days ago… then, Yan Chengfeng, we can just pretend none of it ever happened.”
Zhen Ning knew Yan Chengfeng too well. He had always been terrible at acting, and his thoughts were plainly written across his face.
And the way Yan Chengfeng had been behaving since his rut ended was far too unusual. Even someone as oblivious as Tao Luo had noticed something was off.
This was the outcome Zhen Ning had dreaded the most.
So, in the end, he does mind, Zhen Ning thought. After all, a kiss was different from a temporary mark. Once the momentary passion faded, it almost always led to regret.
And if there was regret, Yan Chengfeng would very likely choose to avoid the issue entirely. His behavior over the past few days made that perfectly clear.
Zhen Ning had thought that saying those words would relieve Yan Chengfeng, allowing him to breathe a sigh of relief.
But the moment they left his lips, Yan Chengfeng’s evasive expression changed drastically.
His eyes widened in an instant as he stared at Zhen Ning, murmuring in disbelief, “What… what did you just say? Say that again.”
Zhen Ning froze for a moment.
After a brief pause, he took a deep breath and added, “I know what you’re worried about. I won’t tell anyone about what happened over the past few days. If it will make you feel better…”
“Then we can forget everything that happened.”
The next moment, Zhen Ning watched as Yan Chengfeng’s expression shifted from shock to something else entirely.
For a split second, Zhen Ning wondered if he had misread it. But there it was… an expression of heartbreak and seething fury.
Yan Chengfeng’s mouth opened and closed, but he was clearly so angry he couldn’t form coherent words.
Step by step, he advanced toward Zhen Ning. Instinctively, Zhen Ning retreated, but in the next instant, he felt his wrist seized by Yan Chengfeng. Before he could react, he was pinned firmly against the wall.
Zhen Ning saw the alpha lower his head, his eyes tinged red with anger. After a long struggle to suppress his trembling voice, Yan Chengfeng gritted out through clenched teeth, “You… you just try forgetting this, I dare you!”
Zhen Ning tilted his face up slightly, looking at Yan Chengfeng with a faintly startled expression.
Yan Chengfeng stared at him, both anxious and furious. And suddenly—he remembered. That day in the alley, when Zhen Ning had looked up at him in this same position and pressed a cool kiss to his lips.
This was yet another time in recent days that Yan Chengfeng had recalled that kiss.
In fact, every kiss, every hug they had shared in the past few days, whether in the dorm or the hall, was vividly etched into his memory. He couldn’t move past it. He was stuck.
And now, Zhen Ning stood in front of him, calmly saying something as infuriating as, “We can forget everything that happened.”
Why should he?
Yan Chengfeng might have been able to avoid confronting his own feelings. He might have been able to pretend nothing had happened. But whether it was then or now, the moment he met Zhen Ning’s calm eyes, or heard that casual “forget it,” his emotions would spiral uncontrollably. All the carefully constructed facades he had built would shatter instantly.
In front of Zhen Ning, he could never act. Nor could he hide.
And in that moment, with a mix of despair and clarity, Yan Chengfeng finally realized… he might have actually fallen for this annoying and infuriating person.
Author’s note:
Yan Kitchen’s Diary for Today: Wuwu, I’ve been played by a scum omega.
