YPHC Chapter 4

Spring really was livestreaming.

 

A ranked match is just nine random people from the sea of Summoner’s Rift-what are the odds he’d run into him?

 

Jiang Nan’an sighed silently. The next second, a WeChat preview popped up at the top of his phone-from Qi Hong.

 

Speak of the devil.

 

With a “let’s just get this over with” attitude, Jiang Nan’an tapped into her chat.

 

Qi Hong: [Picture]

 

Qi Hong: Is this you?

 

Jiang Nan’an opened the image. After a moment’s loading, the compressed picture cleared up.

 

【Anyone watching Old Spring’s stream? He ran into a random today whose voice sounds just like Xiao Shan! I was totally tripping!!】

 

It was a screenshot from a post in Jiang Nan’an’s personal supertopic on Weibo. Sure enough, on the internet, even the slightest ripple could spread everywhere in no time.

 

Jiang Nan’an braced himself for a hundred and eight phone calls, typed a heavy-hearted “yes,” and hit send.

 

But to his surprise, Qi Hong didn’t react much to this possible “identity slip.”

 

Qi Hong: Got it.

 

Jiang Nan’an raised his brows slightly.

 

Jiang Nan’an: ?

 

Jiang Nan’an: It’s fine?

 

Qi Hong replied with a smug sticker.

 

Qi Hong: It’s fine. Sure, your voice is that recognizable and your fans have insane ears, but it’s all good! The wild nonsense you spouted in that stream is so different from the ice-lotus Xiao Shan in front of the camera, nobody would ever believe it’s you!

 

Qi Hong: Know who you have to thank? Me! Thanks to me always keeping your behavior in check! So now, even though everyone thinks it sounds like you, nobody suspects the guy on the mic is actually you! Feels great!!

 

Qi Hong: Play games if you want, running into a streamer isn’t your fault, just remember not to out yourself. In a place where nobody cares about real identities, you can be yourself! The more you let loose, the bigger the contrast, the better! I support you with all my hands and feet!

 

With Qi Hong’s words, Jiang Nan’an was reassured.

 

He himself didn’t really care about this stuff, but Qi Hong always got worked up over the tiniest thing, clutching her chest and wailing, “It’s over, you’re going to get exposed, I’m finished, we’re all finished, PR, call PR!!”

 

Running into a game streamer and getting recognized by tens of thousands of viewers… Jiang Nan’an was honestly afraid Qi Hong would jump out of the screen and strangle him. Now that she said it was fine, he had nothing left to worry about. In fact, when he switched back to the stream, even Spring’s face in the bottom right corner looked a lot more pleasing.

 

So, half a minute later-

 

【Newbie Kitten “Hang Me Now” just sent 5 “Cat God Descends” gifts to streamer Spring～】

 

“Cat God Descends” is the highest-tier gift on Cat Paw TV-each one is worth a whopping 5,000 RMB. Not only does it come with flashy full-screen effects, it also gives the sender major VIP status, like the giant golden message now dominating Jiang Nan’an’s screen.

 

The six glittering gold characters of “Hang Me Now” brazenly took over the entire screen, completely blocking the romance game Spring had just launched.

 

Jiang Nan’an fell into deep thought.

 

Qi Hong had told him before that you never visit a friend empty-handed-no matter how close you are, a small gift is basic courtesy. So he’d only planned to quietly drop by and leave a gift, but why was the commotion so huge?

 

When did he even pick this username? He couldn’t remember.

 

Jiang Nan’an glanced at the viewer contribution leaderboard on the side of the stream-

 

After dropping five Cat God Descends, his ranking shot up to the top twenty. Besides his ID, the leaderboard also displayed his avatar: a vivid stick figure hanging from a noose, with a toppled stool beneath its feet.

 

Jiang Nan’an rarely watched streams or short videos-he’d only downloaded this app years ago to study Spring, and the ID and avatar were set back then. He hadn’t paid attention to such details, but as fate would have it, though his roles and personal style had changed many times over the years, his fondness for “hanging” never did.

 

“Yo, who’s this? Big spender! Wait, is that my Mr. Hang? Mr. Hang came to see me? Say something, Mr. Hang! Step out and show yourself!”

 

At this point, there was no point pretending. Jiang Nan’an opened the chat box, closed it again, and after a long pause, finally sent a reserved message:

 

“Work hard and keep it up.”

 

After those eight characters were sent, Jiang Nan’an looked at Spring’s half-smiling face on screen, ready to exit the stream before the guy could drag the conversation out endlessly. But just then, a cat-head popup suddenly appeared.

 

【Streamer Spring has followed you～】

 

Before leaving the stream, Jiang Nan’an casually tapped the follow-back button.

 

【Meow~ You and streamer Spring are now mutual friends! Go to your private messages and chat with him!】

 

–

 

[The Noble Consort accuses you of poisoning her pastries, causing her miscarriage. The emperor fixes you with a heavy gaze, as if waiting for your final defense. Heartbroken, you sigh and choose:]

 

[A. Turn the tables and seek help from the Empress]

 

[B. Heartbroken, unable to defend yourself]

 

[C. Go all in and assassinate the emperor]

 

Yan Jie narrowed his eyes, staring at the three choices that would decide his fate, and resolutely picked C.

 

[The dagger flashed cold, reflecting the Noble Consort’s terrified eyes! “Protect the emperor!” Palace guards swarmed in. No matter how skilled you were, you fell to their blades. The assassination was exposed early, the emperor flew into a rage, and your ending-“drawn and quartered, clan exterminated.”]

 

– Bro, this is the first time I’ve seen someone stuck on a palace romance game for half a month. Impressive.

 

– I can’t watch this anymore, really. Let the heroine go. No looks, no charm, no wisdom, no charisma, and every skill point dumped into combat-are you trying to train a palace commando???

 

– Can you focus on the point of this game?! Romance! Romance!! Why do you always choose to assassinate the emperor???

 

“You guys don’t get it! I came into the palace with a mission, carrying so many people’s hopes! I’m about to die, the Noble Consort pins the crime on me, and the emperor doesn’t trust me at all-shouldn’t I risk everything to complete my task? Even if I fall, thousands more will rise in my place. What’s this called? The indomitable spirit of anti-imperial, anti-feudal revolution!”

 

Yan Jie clenched his fist with conviction.

 

A few seconds later, the chat scrolled by:

 

– Idiot.

 

“Forget it, I’m done. That damn emperor trusts a schemer but not me. Can’t love, can’t kill-whoever made this game should be flogged.”

 

Yan Jie took a sip of milk tea and picked up his phone:

 

“Taking a break, waiting for Mr. Hang. We’ve got plans tonight.”

 

– ?!

 

– You’re teaming up with Mr. Hang?! Damn, why didn’t you say so sooner? I’m ordering takeout, tonight I’m watching Mr. Hang’s show with dinner.

 

– Nice one, Spring. Tell your mom you’re not a coward.

 

“You like him that much?”

 

Yan Jie chuckled:

 

“Whose stream is this, anyway? Is it Old Spring’s or Mr. Hang’s? I can’t remember anymore.”

 

Yan Jie had been a game streamer for years, met plenty of interesting randoms, but never one as fun as this-plus, he was really good at the game. Yan Jie liked playing and chatting with him, and the viewers loved their banter, always begging for Mr. Hang to join. But no one knew what Mr. Hang did for work-he seemed busy, and in the half month they’d known each other, they’d only duo-queued three or four times, either by luck or because Yan Jie scheduled it in advance.

 

Yan Jie chatted idly with the viewers. After a while, his phone let out a little cat meow-the exclusive notification for a mutual DM on Cat Paw.

 

Yan Jie tapped in to check the message preview.

 

Hang Me Now: Something came up tonight, have to bail on duo queue, sorry.

 

He really had something to do, and Yan Jie couldn’t exactly drag him back through the internet. He replied with a heartbroken sticker, then relayed the sad news to the viewers:

 

“Bad news, bad news-Mr. Hang bailed. Tonight it’s lonely solo queue for weak little Spring. Who’s with me, who’s against?”

 

– Useless!

 

– Trying to mess with me? Give back the Cat Playground gifts I sent for Mr. Hang!

 

– Let’s go, everyone! Head next door to watch inBlue! Mr. Hang is a rare treat, but there’s no shortage of two-legged streamers out there. If this useless streamer can’t keep a man’s heart, he’s not worth watching!

 

Yan Jie watched the barrage as they stirred things up, smiled, and was just about to say something when another WeChat message came in.

 

Fat Fish: Chun’er[mfn]Chun as in Spring[/mfn], want to go out tonight? Got something fun for you.

 

Seeing this, Yan Jie was about to scold those fickle viewers for being two-timers, but the words turned around on his tongue and he swallowed them back.

 

He simply went along with the flow and put on a deliberately exaggerated act, wiping away fake tears:

 

“Boohoo, you guys are making little Chun so sad. Fine, go have your fun with other streamers, I’ll go cry by myself. See you all!”

 

As soon as he finished, before the first question mark could appear in the chat, he simply ended the stream.

 

6 p.m., Beijing.

 

“So this ‘activity’ you mentioned is just dragging me out here to go shopping with a pretty girl?”

 

Yan Jie, hands in his pockets, glanced at the pretty girl’s back as she walked to the restroom, and quietly questioned Fat Fish beside him.

 

Fat Fish, real name Yu Pang, is the owner of Cat Paw TV and Yan Jie’s childhood friend. Despite running the hottest streaming platform, he’s nothing like the domineering CEOs in novels. On the contrary, with his beer belly, thinning hair, baggy shorts, and slippers, he’s a total unkempt otaku.

 

Fat Fish patted his round belly and, hearing Yan Jie’s complaint, stomped his foot in exasperation:

 

“Don’t take my good intentions for donkey’s liver, Yan! You’re almost thirty and you’ve never even held a girl’s hand. All day you’re romancing emperors and fighting palace battles with paper people on your computer-do you think that’s normal? I’m telling you, your parents asked me to set this up. This girl is my wife’s bestie, so don’t mess it up. We’ll all have dinner together, then I’ll leave. You take her to a quiet bar, have a drink, talk about dreams, about life, about that palace romance game you still haven’t finished after half a month-maybe a little spark will fly!”

 

Before Fat Fish could finish, his phone chimed. He checked it, his words cut off, and then, with a pained look, handed the phone to Yan Jie.

 

Yan Jie was busy calming viewers about bailing on tonight’s stream and setting up a new event, when suddenly Fat Fish’s phone was shoved at him, leaving him baffled.

 

He flipped the phone over and saw a fresh, steaming-hot WeChat message.

 

Ling Ling: Sorry, Brother Yu, I just remembered I left the gas on at home, so I’ll head out first. Please say goodbye to Brother Yan for me. Shopping with him was really fun, I had a great time, but let’s not meet up again if there’s no reason!

 

Yan Jie chuckled and handed the phone back:

 

“This time it’s not my fault-she just wasn’t into me.”

 

Fat Fish glared at him and shook his head:

 

“Ling Ling’s just too polite. I thought when you pointed at her eyelid tape and said she had dirt on her eyes, she’d slap you right then. Honestly, you deserve to be single. I can’t tell if you’re just clueless or actually not interested. What kind of girl do you even like? You say you want fair-skinned, tall, pretty, slim-waisted, long-legged-what’s she missing? Even if a goddess stood in front of you, you wouldn’t notice. Seriously, bro, are you gay?”

 

“How was I supposed to know that was eyelid tape? I’m a gaming streamer, not a beauty vlogger. Honestly, love shouldn’t be forced-when it’s meant to happen, it will. You can introduce me to all the girls you want, but if there’s no spark, what’s the point?” Yan Jie poked his own chest.

 

“Don’t give me that crap. If you don’t take the initiative, you expect your perfect 1.8-meter supermodel dream girl to just walk into your life? You have to make things happen! Come on, give me some specifics-besides fair, tall, slim waist, long legs, any other requirements? I see right through you, you’re just a face-chaser. As long as the looks are right, you’re in. I refuse to believe it-I’m going to find a way to make this iron tree bloom!”

 

Fat Fish rolled up his nonexistent sleeves, full of motivation.

 

“Don’t make me sound so shallow. Besides looks, the soul matters too, okay?”

 

“Alright, then tell me-what kind of soul do you want?”

 

Yan Jie raised his brows, stumped for a moment, then, spotting something, casually replied:

 

“Something exciting, I guess.”

 

“Exci…” Fat Fish was stunned, then shoved his shoulder:

 

“What kind of ‘exciting’ do you mean? I’m telling you, don’t go down the wrong path. If I bring home a demon, your parents will kill me! Maybe you should just marry an NPC from a haunted house and cosplay serial killers at home every day!”

 

“What’s going on in your head?”

 

Yan Jie laughed, walked a few steps away, and stopped in front of a movie poster, looking it over.

 

The poster showed the protagonist’s blood-splattered face, a slash of light dividing his forehead to chin. Half his face was in the light, expression resolute; the other half in shadow, lips and eyes hinting at a subtle smile.

 

It looked like a suspense thriller. The poster oozed a chilling vibe, with four blood-red characters at the bottom-

 

“Land of Blood Silence”

 

“Let’s go, Fish. The girl’s gone, so it’s just us for this long night. Wanna see a movie?”

 

“What movie?” Fat Fish asked warily.

 

“You don’t even like movies.”

 

Yan Jie smiled and flicked the “Land of Blood Silence” poster with two fingers:

 

“Doesn’t this look exciting? We’ve got nothing else to do, might as well check it out.”

 

Fat Fish glanced at the creepy poster, then at Yan Jie, processing for a moment before his eyes widened:

 

“You want this kind of excitement? I’m telling you, I can’t help with that! Maybe you should just find an NPC in a haunted house to marry-then you two can cosplay serial killers at home every day!”

 

He followed Yan Jie toward the cinema, but after a couple of steps, he suddenly paused, as if remembering something, and stepped back to take a closer look at the movie poster.

 

The person on the poster had relatively long hair, and even with blood smeared across his face, his good looks were unmistakable… but clearly, this was a man!

 

He glanced at the lead actor’s name beside the poster-

 

Jiang Nan’an.

 

Fat Fish’s pupils dilated in shock. As he caught up, his voice broke:

 

“Yan Jie, don’t tell me you really are gay?!”

 

—

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(advanced chapters available on kofi)