TL: Hua
Chapter 45: Shattered Bead – Xiao Pei returns to Yejing
Try what?
The Crown Prince had no time for romance, nor did he dabble in poetic affection. His voice was cold and steady. “I don’t favor the south wind[mfn]南风(south wind) means “male-male relationships,” so he’s saying he’s not into men/swing that way.[/mfn].”
Pei Xiting’s nostrils flared. He pressed on, “What about favoring me?”
He looked like he was about to cry. The Crown Prince’s gaze flickered, then he said coldly, “No one… I favor the north wind.”
It sounded like a cold joke, but Pei Xiting couldn’t laugh.
“South wind” and “north wind” were opposites. Didn’t the Crown Prince’s words simply mean he liked women? In that case, no matter what Pei Xiting did, as long as he couldn’t change his gender, it would be futile.
He looked at the Crown Prince, feeling a mix of reluctance and sadness. His lips were tightly pressed together, gradually turning white.
The Crown Prince had seen countless expressions far more pitiful, even thousands of times more miserable than this. At those times, he had been unmoved. Now, he felt an uncontrollable palpitation in his heart.
Losing control? The Crown Prince tightened his grip, and a single glass bead shattered into powder, silently, unnoticed by anyone.
He had overestimated himself and underestimated this troublesome Pei Xiting. The Crown Prince finally clearly realized the mistake he had made. This trouble had to be resolved cleanly and decisively. He narrowed his eyes slightly, the long fold above his eyelids pressing down, creating a sharp arc.
Pei Xiting seemed to sense it but remained motionless, still staring at him with a reckless frankness, his neck stiff and his face stubborn, as if unafraid of anything.
They stared at each other, or more accurately, confronted each other. For how long, the Crown Prince didn’t know, but the hint of tyrannical emotion in his heart, like a tiny flame, was finally extinguished by the tears glistening in those slightly red eyes.
“You…” A word escaped his lips, but the harsh words the Crown Prince was about to utter were suppressed again—they weren’t truly harsh, just too direct and decisive, bound to hurt if spoken.
He had no intention of making Pei Xiting cry. In the end, he only said, “It’s impossible between you and me. Do not entertain such foolish thoughts again. I will pretend I didn’t hear what you just said. There will be no next time.”
A confession was a one-sided affair; its success wasn’t determined by the confessor. Moreover, there had already been ominous signs, so Pei Xiting was prepared for rejection. He wasn’t someone who played pity cards. It wasn’t difficult for him to leave gracefully after being rejected and maintain the politeness of not bothering the other party again. However, though he believed this, when it came time to truly accept it, it was merely a belief.
Pei Xiting finally sought confirmation: “Do you feel anything for me, even a little?”
Those clear eyes seemed to carry stars, astonishingly bright, as if a mere glimmer of hope from the Crown Prince would reignite their vitality and spur him to continue striving. But why?
Pei Xiting was a beautiful, vibrant bird. The sky was vast. Where could he not go? What branch could he not perch on? Meanwhile, he, the Crown Prince, was like a decaying, mottled, blood-fog-shrouded barren mountain, with no spring to follow, unsuitable for birds to inhabit.
The Crown Prince’s heart stirred faintly, but in the end, it all turned into stagnant water.
“Xiting, you are very likable and very clever. I can cultivate you, indulge you, and protect you, but I have no other intentions towards you.” The Crown Prince’s tone was normal, yet it carried an overwhelming pressure. He looked into Pei Xiting’s beautiful, pitiful eyes, paused, and then said, “Xiting, do you understand?”
Pei Xiting shivered unexpectedly. To be fair, His Highness the Crown Prince had given him considerable face. He smiled, as if flattered, and his two numb hands finally separated. He roughly wiped his eyes and said, “I understand.”
The Crown Prince turned around and left without any hesitation. Pei Xiting did not call out to him again, nor did he follow.
—
Yu Shaoyun was waiting in front of the carriage when he saw His Highness come out alone, with a somewhat unfamiliar expression. It was rare for someone like him to openly display his true emotions.
Yu Shaoyun’s heart skipped a beat. He immediately stepped forward. “Your Highness, has something happened?”
He glanced at the empty, secluded path behind the Crown Prince but didn’t ask, ‘Where is Pei-wenshu?’
The Crown Prince didn’t answer. He raised his hand to press on the carriage door, but then heard Yu Shaoyun exclaim in surprise, “Your Highness, why is one of your prayer beads missing?”
The Crown Prince paused, looked at his wrist, and indeed, one was missing, making the entire string of beads feel loose. The Crown Prince removed the glass beads and threw them away. The string of beads hit the ground and scattered with a clattering sound.
Yu Shaoyun gasped. “Your—”
“Worthless things, what’s the point of keeping them?” The Crown Prince entered the carriage, his eyelids wearily closing. “Let’s go.”
Yu Shaoyun was puzzled and dared not ask further, feeling very uneasy in his heart: What exactly did Pei-wenshu do?
—
“I failed.” Pei Xiting squatted by the pond, looking dejected. “But your monthly salary will still increase by two-fold.”
Yuan Fang showed little joy. He stood behind Pei Xiting with his arms crossed, capable of kicking the person sitting at his feet into the pond with a single leg lift. “Is this what you called ‘revenge spending’?”
“I’m unhappy, so I’m making you happy. This is the doctrine of the mean,” Pei Xiting said. “Don’t talk nonsense; just be grateful.”
Yuan Fang immediately cupped his hands in thanks, quoting from “Pei Xiting’s Sayings”: “Young Master is beautiful and kind-hearted.”
Pei Xiting listlessly hummed, patted his sleeves, stood up, and said, “Let’s go back.”
Yuan Fang followed, offering advice, “Want to go for a drink? Everything will be fine when you’re drunk. At least you can get a good night’s sleep tonight.”
“Then I might as well commit suicide. Everything truly becomes fine when you’re dead.” Pei Xiting kicked a pebble ahead and then said, “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” Yuan Fang said.
Pei Xiting was indignant. “I didn’t cry or make a fuss; my emotions are stable. How do I not look fine?”
Yuan Fang shrugged. “It’s precisely because you look ‘too’ fine, so it looks like you’re about to go crazy at any moment.”
“Whether I go crazy or not has little to do with whether my emotions are stable,” Pei Xiting shrugged. “It’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just a failed confession, isn’t it? I can completely accept it; I just need a little time to process it.”
“Then should you and the Crown Prince travel separately tomorrow, to avoid awkwardness?” Yuan Fang asked.
“No need.” Pei Xiting shook his head. “His Highness said he’d pretend he didn’t hear it. It would be overly pretentious for me to hide and avoid him, and it would only make things more awkward. Am I supposed to avoid him with a bitter face from now on?”
Yuan Fang said, “As long as you can keep your composure when you continue to interact with the Crown Prince.”
Interact? Pei Xiting felt that once they returned to Yejing, he might not even see the Crown Prince anymore. What “interaction” was there to ponder?
Pei Xiting shook his head and chuckled dismissively. “You don’t trust my acting skills?” He made a gesture. “I’ll handle it.”
That smile, without the eyes smiling, and still claiming to “handle it”—he was just being stubborn. Yuan Fang mumbled to himself but didn’t expose him, saying, “Yes, you’ll handle it.”
—
The next afternoon, the group boarded a boat heading towards Yejing.
To alleviate seasickness, the cabin was scented with citrus. The Crown Prince and You Zong sat by the window playing chess, so engrossed that only the sound of the pieces could be heard.
Pei Xiting and Yuan Fang sat on a narrow couch not far away. On a long table beside them was a small mountain of gifts: local products and presents they had bought themselves, and gifts from the Bai siblings and Ying Ziyu before their departure.
Pei Xiting had not accepted the gifts prepared by Prefect He. As for Zhao Fan, he had sent a letter through an envoy. And as for Shangguan Jie, he couldn’t care less.
Pei Xiting sketched in a notebook, saying, “This is mahjong.”
Yuan Fang looked at the “mahjong” on the paper and said, “Isn’t this just dominoes?”
“Just think of it as a type of domino; the gameplay is different.” Pei Xiting tapped his chin with the brush handle. “When we return to Yejing, I’ll take this drawing to have a set made. Then, in our leisure time, we can gather four people around a table and play mahjong.”
Yuan Fang looked forward to it and said, “Alright.”
Yu Shaoyun was leaning by the boat window, eating an orange. Seeing Pei Xiting and Yuan Fang huddled together whispering, he became even more certain—something was definitely wrong between Pei-wenshu and His Highness.
In the two hours from leaving to boarding the boat, Pei-wenshu had only formally saluted His Highness when they met at the gate and had not spoken another word to him. Before, Pei-wenshu would surely have been sitting beside His Highness, watching the chess game. His Highness, naturally, hadn’t actively sought to speak to Pei-wenshu either. The atmosphere between them was normal yet subtly strange.
Had Pei-wenshu done something to offend His Highness yesterday? It didn’t seem so, because His Highness would have no reason to keep someone who offended him traveling with him. Did His Highness offend Pei-wenshu? That didn’t seem likely either; Pei-wenshu didn’t appear angry…
Strange, Yu Shaoyun racked his brains; it was too strange.
You Zong also sensed something. So, after Pei Xiting put down his paper and brush and slipped out with Yuan Fang to buy snacks, he said, “Has Pei-wenshu offended Your Highness?”
The Crown Prince put down a white piece and said calmly, “No, there’s no need to blame him.”
You Zong’s mind turned, and he said, “Yes.”
But the two didn’t return for a long time. After three games had been played, You Zong said, “Commander Yu, since you’re idle, why don’t you go check on them?”
“Alright.” Yu Shaoyun went out and quickly returned. “They weren’t kidnapped; they’re fine. They’re playing dice and eating roasted meat with people outside, looking radiant.”
“‘One Pillar Supporting Heaven[mfn]Not sure what this is. Probably when the three dice all rolled into 6.[/mfn]!'” Pei Xiting exclaimed. “Another win, pay up!”
The young man sitting opposite Pei Xiting and Yuan Fang tilted his head and stared suspiciously at Yuan Fang, who was holding the dice cup. “Did you cheat?”
Yuan Fang could easily hear the movement of the dice in the cup when they stood up straight. Could this be considered cheating? He looked at Pei Xiting in confusion.
“If a person isn’t capable, don’t blame the path for being uneven. Sorry, my Fang just has that kind of skill,” Pei Xiting waved his hand. “If you can’t gamble, get off the table.”
The young man scoffed, slapped the silver onto the table, and said, “Again, I don’t believe it!”
“Alright, I’ll give you a chance to lose twenty games in a row. Let’s make this game a big one,” Pei Xiting gently pushed. “All in, how about it?”
“Alright, but I’m not gambling with him this time.” The man looked at Pei Xiting, his sword-like eyebrows raised in a challenge. “You come, dare you?”
Pei Xiting’s lips curled slightly. He picked up the dice cup, put the dice inside, and shook it with flowing movements. After a blur of motion, the dice cup landed on the table. He stood up without a lingering glance, deftly swiping a piece of grilled fish from the small grill. The young man quickly reached out and uncovered Pei Xiting’s cup—it was ‘One Pillar Supporting Heaven’ again! He was utterly enraged, pointing at Pei Xiting’s retreating back and saying, “You’re a master; why didn’t you say so earlier? You were asking this and that, pretending not to know anything; you tricked me!”
Pei Xiting had already stepped onto the stairs. Hearing this, he turned, leaning on the railing, and said, “Being low-key is a tactic, young man; learn from it.”
“Give it here.” Yuan Fang reached for the money pouch by the man’s hand, snatched a piece of cooked meat, and turned to leave, leaving the other man holding the dice cup in solitary sadness.
Yuan Fang quickly caught up with Pei Xiting. “I didn’t realize you were an expert.”
“I used to play a few rounds with others.” Pei Xiting added blandly. “Not relying on force, purely on gambling skill.”
“Wow,” Yuan Fang said. “How can there be someone as amazing as you in this world? I humbly concede.”
Pei Xiting returned a polite smile. Of course, if Yuan Fang’s tone wasn’t so robotic and his smile was warmer, Pei Xiting would have believed his words.
Yuan Fang weighed the bulging money pouch. “That person seems to be from an extraordinary background.”
Pei Xiting didn’t care much. “Just playing around, who cares who he is?”
