Volume 1: Let’s Part on Good Terms
“Throughout our long adolescence, the memories that make our hearts pound, move us, and sadden us — those moments we call coincidences — will slowly shape us into beings distinct from others, making us unique individuals.”
—Preface
Chapter One: Grain Rain
Late April, the end of spring, a time when warmth teeters with lingering chill.
At 9:30 on a Friday night, a bar in Haicheng named ‘Expecting Possibilities’ held a sparse scatter of patrons at a few tables.
The place was small, no more than forty or fifty square meters in total. In one corner sat a tiny stage. A young man in a black T-shirt was seated on a high stool, singing.
His long legs rested on the floor, and the fingers holding the microphone were slender and fair. His posture was relaxed as he sang, his expression lazy, as if nothing in the world could really bother him.
The female customers at the private tables below the stage gazed intently in his direction, not necessarily for his singing but for his face. As the bar owner Jiang Cheng would say, with his looks and physique, even if he just sat there spacing out, people would still flock to see him.
However, today Liang Ruixi seemed a bit dejected, and a hint of sadness tinged his singing.
“I’ve waited for promises of eternal love many times, but not once did it have a proper ending…”
After he finished the last line, applause rose from the audience. Liang Ruixi didn’t even say “thanks for coming” before he placed the microphone stand aside and stepped off the stage.
Liang Ruixi took the Mojito that Jiang Cheng handed him and drained it in one gulp. The drink was cool and refreshing, but his stomach felt as if it was on fire.
“How come you’re drinking so fast?” Jiang Cheng shot him a glance before pressing a few buttons on the calculator. “Sales are good today, the income’s decent. Want to sing a couple more songs?”
Jiang Cheng and Liang Ruixi were classmates in middle school and are also co-owners of this bar.
“No, I’m a bit tired. I want to go home.” Liang Ruixi said, taking his jacket from the wall hook.
“Hey, wait,” Jiang Cheng called out, pulling a bottle of perfume from the bar drawer and handing it to him. “Take this to Xiao Xie.”
“Where did you get this?” Liang Ruixi wondered.
“I bought it when I was watching a livestream,” Jiang Cheng leaned in, quietly probing. “Xiao Xie hasn’t been to our place for almost a month already, right? Did you two have a fight?”
Xiao Xie, whom Jiang Cheng referred to, was Liang Ruixi’s current girlfriend, Xie Wenmu.
Liang Ruixi eyed the perfume in his hand. This brand, in the large bottle, costs at least a thousand yuan, a significant amount for someone working a regular job. But to someone like Xie Wenmu, a wealthy young lady, it might just be a product she’d use a couple of times and then forget about.
He put the perfume down and simply mumbled, “En.”
“What happened?” Jiang Cheng asked, curious.
“Her mother’s pressuring her to get married and looks down on me because of my background.” Given their close relationship, Liang Ruixi didn’t hide these things from Jiang Cheng.
“Ah, you’ve already met her parents?” Jiang Cheng was shocked.
“She came to find me herself.” Liang Ruixi said, getting a headache just thinking about it.
Over half a month ago, he left for work early in the morning, still half-asleep, when he was stopped by an unfamiliar woman. She was in a silver Mercedes, claiming to be Xie Wenmu’s mother. She asked him to get in the car and then calmly began inquiring about his family background.
Liang Ruixi was unaccustomed to being interrogated like this by a stranger he’d just met, but considering she was an elder and his girlfriend’s mother, potentially even his future mother-in-law, he didn’t dare refuse to answer.
However, after hearing his story, Mother Xie’s expression turned disdainful, though she didn’t forget to offer a hint of pity. Then, with an arrogant posture, she said, “Wenmu’s father really hopes she’ll get married soon. It’s a shame she refuses to meet the boyfriends we introduce her to. I heard she’s been with you for about a year…” Mother Xie looked him up and down. “She probably does quite like your looks, but I’ll tell you upfront, with your background and family, if you want to marry Wenmu, you must become a live-in son-in-law. Any children born must take the Xie surname. Otherwise, we won’t allow you through the Xie family’s front door.”
After speaking, she had Liang Ruixi get out of the car, and with a stomp on the gas pedal, the Mercedes spewed exhaust in his face.
Several minutes after she left, Liang Ruixi was still immersed in an indescribable feeling of grievance. It was as if he was walking along just fine, only to be suddenly struck on the back of the head and then cursed with “a toad lusting after a swan’s meat,” leaving him dizzy, weak, and short of breath with chest tightness.
After hearing Liang Ruixi’s explanation, Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but be curious: “Just how well-off is her family?”
“The company she works for seems to be owned by her dad, and her family owns several properties in the best part of town, including a villa,” Liang Ruixi recounted what Xie Wenmu’s mother had told him that day. “Their assets probably add up to over a hundred million.”
Liang Ruixi could tell from Xie Wenmu’s usual attire that her family was well-off, but he truly hadn’t expected them to be that wealthy.
“Holy crap! A rich woman ah!” Jiang Cheng’s eyes lit up as he heard this, and he egged him on, “So why aren’t you seizing the opportunity? If you become a live-in son-in-law, you won’t have to work hard for the rest of your life!”
Liang Ruixi shot him a sideways glance, utterly despising Jiang Cheng’s fawning, sycophantic demeanor.
Indeed, times were different now; it wasn’t uncommon for the man to become a live-in son-in-law when discussing marriage. Liang Ruixi wasn’t so rigid that a child had to bear the Liang surname, but still, why the hell should he ah?
He was a perfectly capable university graduate from a prestigious school. While not as wealthy as the Xie family, he could certainly support himself with his own abilities. Why should he be so belittled?
Jiang Cheng continued to persuade him: “It’s just having the children take the Xie surname, what era is this? What, you are incapable?”
Liang Ruixi retorted angrily, “If you can, you go ahead!”
Jiang Cheng said unwillingly, “If I were half as handsome as you, I’d have gone for it long ago!”
Liang Ruixi almost fainted, but he was feeling a bit unwell today and didn’t have the energy to argue with Jiang Cheng. He pushed the perfume back and said, “Keep this for your future wife. I’m leaving.” He put on his jacket and added, “This bar hasn’t even made back its investment yet, so watch your spending.”
It had just rained outside; the ground was damp, and the air was filled with the lingering chill of spring.
Liang Ruixi pulled his denim jacket tighter and hurried to catch the subway, still replaying Jiang Cheng’s words, his stomach burning.
After Xie Wenmu’s mother came to see him that day, Xie Wenmu found out quickly enough. She didn’t say much and just told him that evening, “Don’t pay attention to my mom.”
Liang Ruixi thought the same; he was with Xie Wenmu, not her mother. What did it matter if her family owned a horse ranch or lived in a palace?
But Mother Xie’s visit left a deep psychological shadow on Liang Ruixi.
The mother and daughter are even a bit similar, and afterward, every time Liang Ruixi saw Xie Wenmu, he’d recall Mother Xie’s arrogant demeanor when showing off her family’s assets. This led to Liang Ruixi’s headache starting whenever Xie Wenmu wanted to get intimate, and a pop-up error window would appear in his mind, like a system malfunction—
[This is swan meat; eating it comes with a huge price.]
And below the pop-up, there was no option other than an “I’m not worthy” close button.
So, he could only pull up his pants and let it go.
Indeed, Jiang Cheng’s “you’re incapable” had hit him right where it hurt.
He really did seem to be… not capable anymore.
Xie Wenmu also noticed something was wrong with his state. One day, after an unsuccessful attempt at intimacy, she put on her pajamas and, with her back to Liang Ruixi, said, “I want to move out for a few days.”
Liang Ruixi thought that was fine; he could use these few days to adjust his mood too.
However, after Xie Wenmu left, there was no word from her for half a month, quite reminiscent of Liang Ruixi’s own scumbag behavior when he used to avoid ex-girlfriends.
Liang Ruixi sighed. Before getting off the subway, he casually opened his phone to check his WeChat Moments and was drawn to a wedding dress fitting photo.
In the photo, a slender girl in a white wedding dress held her graceful waist. With a long veil flowing behind her and her back to the camera, she looked stunningly beautiful.
The person who posted the photo was Qi Qiurui, Liang Ruixi’s junior from F University, but the person in the photo wasn’t her. In the comments, Qi Qiurui teased, “Guess which bride-to-be this is?” Liang Ruixi didn’t even need to guess, he already knew the answer from the speculations of their mutual friends below.
—”Wow, it’s Xiao Zhi!”
—”Xiao Zhi and Zhou Yan are getting married? Congrats, congrats!”
—”Wishing Beauty Xiao and President Zhou a hundred years of harmony!”
—”When’s the big day? Remember to tell everyone!”
Xiao Zhi was the campus beauty of F University’s Department of Law, while the other main character mentioned alongside her, Zhou Yan, was the law school’s former student council president and campus event host. Their relationship in school was so good it was like they were the model campus couple, so Liang Ruixi wasn’t surprised at all that they ended up together. What was surprising was that Liang Ruixi hadn’t heard a single word about such important news from Zhou Yan.
After all, Zhou Yan was his best friend at F University.
He was a bit stunned. As he walked, he scrolled through his contacts to find Zhou Yan’s profile picture. Their last conversation was still stuck on New Year’s Day four months ago, with two terse “Happy New Year” messages that felt so distant, the first one was even sent by him.
Earlier this month was Liang Ruixi’s twenty-sixth birthday. In previous years, Zhou Yan would at least send him a “Happy Birthday,” but not this year.
Indeed, after three years of graduation, everyone was so busy with work. After a long time without contact, relationships were bound to drift apart… Liang Ruixi was feeling gloomy when he suddenly heard someone call his name. He looked up and saw Xie Wenmu, who hadn’t appeared for half a month, standing at the complex entrance with her arms crossed.
“You’re finally back,” Xie Wenmu said, holding an e-cigarette, with a suitcase standing beside her. A BMW, still running, was parked on the roadside.
The driver’s side window was open, and an unfamiliar young man sat inside, seemingly waiting for her. He squinted and looked Liang Ruixi over when he saw him.
Xie Wenmu noticed Liang Ruixi looking in that direction and quietly explained, “My driver.”
Liang Ruixi frowned. “You’re leaving?”
Xie Wenmu let out an “en” and said, “Let’s break up.”
Liang Ruixi’s heart sank. Although he had expected this outcome, hearing Xie Wenmu say goodbye so calmly still made him feel a little sad.
“We’ve been together for a year. Don’t you have any lingering feelings for me?” Liang Ruixi asked.
“You don’t have any feelings for me anymore, what’s the point in me holding on?” Xie Wenmu exhaled a puff of smoke with a bitter smile, the hint of bitterness on her face immediately replaced by an air of nonchalance. “I’ve packed everything I need to take. I was happy when I was with you, but I’m someone who seeks freedom.”
“Alright,” Liang Ruixi looked at her, still drawn by her aura at that moment. He nodded at her and said, “Let’s part on good terms.”
In a way, he and Xie Wenmu were quite similar, yet their fundamental natures were entirely different.
Behind Liang Ruixi’s nonchalant exterior lay a heart still deeply searching for a place to belong; he just rarely showed this side of himself.
At this moment, with his hands in his pockets, he feigned indifference and added, “I wish you happiness.”
Going upstairs and closing his apartment door, Liang Ruixi looked at the much emptier room. Reflecting on his five relationships that had all ended without a clear reason and still being alone at twenty-six, he was suddenly enveloped by an overwhelming sense of loneliness.
He leaned against the door and smiled, then suddenly burst into song, “Waiting, waiting, then growing old, loving and hating, it’s better to move on. All the twists and turns, all the things I don’t dare look back on… are the ones I waited for but never came… Hoo~~Ah~~”
In the bathroom, he turned the shower on full blast, singing and scrubbing his hair.
When he felt down, showering and singing were his best ways to vent emotions. As he sang, the pent-up frustration in his chest gradually dissipated, but then a sudden, unexpected cramping pain shot through his abdomen.
Liang Ruixi nearly lost his footing. Even the pouring hot water couldn’t stop the cold sweat from breaking out on his forehead.
He forced himself to endure for a while, but the pain didn’t ease; it only intensified. That’s when he realized something was seriously wrong. Without bothering to dry off, Liang Ruixi, naked and hunched over, ran outside, grabbed his phone, and sent a voice message to Jiang Cheng.
“Dog Kidney, I’m dying… my stomach hurts so bad. I’m taking a taxi to Lingzhou Second Hospital now. You go there too. If I don’t make it, help me collect my body…” In just a few minutes, he was as frail and weak as if he’d been severely beaten, and his voice was no longer strong.
But after sending the message, Liang Ruixi realized he hadn’t looked closely, he had meant to ask Zhou Yan about his marriage. The chat window was still open, and Zhou Yan and Jiang Cheng’s profile pictures were very similar in color, he had actually sent that message to Zhou Yan!
The author has something to say:
[Little Interlude]
Liang Ruixi: Why am I no longer “capable” with women?? (o.O)
Author: Because you’re now the protagonist of a BL novel. (Pushes up glasses)
T/N: Grain Rain (the chapter title) is the sixth of the 24 solar terms in the Chinese calendar, signifying the end of spring and the onset of the rainy season. It’s a time when temperatures rise and rainfall is important for crop growth. The name “Grain Rain” reflects the belief that this period of rain is vital for the growth of all grains.
