FIG CHAPTER 73

The next day, Fan Gerong finally agreed to contact Pei Qiao.

He had intentionally cut off communication because of the new album. Two of the songs were singles he had written, originally intended for his future solo work. But the company had included them in the group’s album. When he raised an objection, the company rejected it, so he went on strike and stopped replying.

It was rumored that over the past few days, he had also secretly accepted an interview with an entertainment journalist. Pei Qiao didn’t know what he had said to them, but it probably wasn’t anything good.

That morning, Tan Qing had just finished his radio segment on “Truly Beautiful Weather.” Knowing that Fan Gerong was also at the company, he went upstairs to try and talk to him.

But the timing wasn’t ideal. When he found him, Fan Gerong was on a phone call. Tan Qing didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the way Fan Gerong addressed the person on the other end caught his attention—it was a respectful title for a certain manager in the industry, someone with a rare surname.

Once the call ended, Tan Qing walked over and asked directly, “Are you planning to terminate your contract?”

Fan Gerong’s expression changed slightly upon seeing him, but he quickly returned to normal and didn’t deny it.

“Can’t you renegotiate with the company?” Tan Qing frowned. “This choice is too extreme.”

“No need to worry. I can afford the penalty fee.” Fan Gerong casually straightened his collar and sleeves. “Pei-jie promised me so many plans before, but she didn’t follow through on a single one. I’ve been in this industry for three years and still haven’t released a full solo album. Every time I finish a song, she takes it to the producer first to pick from, saving a few for the group to use. These are just small things, but I’ve had enough. There are even more troubles wearing me down.”

Tan Qing said, “Everyone made sacrifices to get where we are. Zhu Lianzhen also poured all his energy into the group. Even the choreographer stuck around because of him—”

“Don’t lump me together with him, alright?” Fan Gerong cut him off. “I don’t have his kind of unrealistic ambition. I just want to be a proper singer. I don’t care if the stage is small, but now the company won’t even give me a solo appearance. What other choice do I have besides leaving?”

Tan Qing countered, “Since your goal was so clear, why did you join the group in the first place?”

Fan Gerong stared at him for two seconds, then let out a short laugh and said helplessly, “Have you been hanging around Zhu Lianzhen so long that you’re starting to think like him? Aside from him, did any of us sign that contract because we truly wanted to be idols?”

Tan Qing looked at him in silence.

“Forget everything else—just the fact that brain-dead fans spend all day fantasizing about you and Zhu Lianzhen hooking up, can you really stand it?” Fan Gerong curled his lips in disdain. “Oh, unless you get a kick out of that kind of thing. In that case, pretend I didn’t say anything.”

Tan Qing said, “The new album is about to be released. Do you really have to make everyone else pay for your choice at the most critical moment?”

“And what about everything I’ve contributed to the group over the years? Has anyone ever brought that up?” Fan Gerong replied. “Anyway, I’ll take full responsibility for the consequences. What’s wrong with fighting for more benefits for myself? Among us, someone was going to take the first step sooner or later.”

Sooner or later, someone was going to take the first step—once this most honest reality was laid bare, Tan Qing could no longer find a reason to pressure him.

Acemon had been active for several years and had already reached an unprecedented height for idol groups in the mainland. But that also meant there was not much room left to grow. The company knew the personalities of each member well, and when it came to personal interests, unity became nearly impossible. So they had already started planning solo paths for the group members.

But no one expected this day to come so soon.

After a brief pause, Fan Gerong softened his gaze. “Tan Qing, we’ve always minded our own business. This matter isn’t enough to make things unpleasant between us. For the sake of the years we’ve spent working together, just pretend you didn’t hear anything just now.”

Tan Qing asked again, “There’s really no room left to negotiate with the company?”

“I don’t know,” Fan Gerong said. “Right now, it’s hard for me to trust any terms they offer.”

Out of respect for the trust the other party placed in him, Tan Qing could only maintain basic confidentiality. But since this concerned the future of the group and Zhu Lianzhen’s hopes for the future, he couldn’t completely turn a blind eye.

“You have to agree to two things,” Tan Qing said. “Before you leave, you have to sit down with all five of us and work out every countermeasure together.”

“Alright. And the other?”

“And if someone gets angry, please don’t fight back.”

“…” Fan Gerong couldn’t help but complain, “Can’t you hold Zhu Lianzhen back for once?”

But all of this was based on the assumption that Fan Gerong could part ways with Zuige Entertainment peacefully. If the negotiations failed, Tan Qing had no idea how serious the situation Acemon would face could become. The only thing he could do now was to help Zhu Lianzhen realize early that the group was not the only path to achieving his goals.

Whenever he thought of Zhu Lianzhen, Tan Qing felt a gloomy and inescapable sense of foreboding.

–

Zhu Lianzhen had been feeling restless lately.

All the things bothering him had piled up at once. Every time he posted on his social media, the top comments were all about looking forward to the new album. He was eager to start promotions too, but for some reason, the company kept delaying.

After dance practice, Tan Qing noticed his low spirits and suggested they go for a walk near the Lan River. Zhu Lianzhen hesitated for a few seconds and declined, “I’m a bit tired. I just want to go home and catch up on sleep.”

“Mm.” Tan Qing booked a car for him, then went to the house in the suburbs to feed the cat.

Zhu Lianzhen returned to his own place and soaked in the bathtub, letting the warm water envelop his body.

Something felt off. Lately, he found himself feeling guilty around Tan Qing. He had no prior romantic experience before this, never even liked anyone, nor had he figured out what he wanted in a relationship. Now that he was starting to think about the future of this relationship, his mind was completely blank.

Sometimes, Zhu Lianzhen missed the time when they were just friends. But friendship and love were two different things. He didn’t know whether what he missed was the time they spent together or the safety of their former relationship.

His thoughts grew chaotic again, so he quickly dried himself and left the bathroom.

Before bed, he habitually picked up his phone and swiped across the screen a few times, only to forget what he had meant to do in the first place.

What was it again? He opened all his frequently used apps one by one and found nothing that needed handling or searching.

It wasn’t until he opened WeChat that he remembered that Tan Qing hadn’t said goodnight to him today. Normally, around this time, Tan Qing would send him a message, such as a reminder about the next day’s schedule or a simple “Heading to bed.”

Zhu Lianzhen thought about it for a moment, then didn’t do anything further and closed his eyes to sleep.

The next day in the practice room, Zhu Lianzhen noticed that Fan Gerong was absent again. This annoyed him, and he decided that the next time he saw him, he would definitely start a big argument.

After practice, Ji Yunting and the others wanted to go out for hotpot, but Zhu Lianzhen wasn’t in the mood and went back with Tan Qing instead.

While waiting at a traffic light, Tan Qing asked, “Do you want to go somewhere this summer?”

Zhu Lianzhen thought he could use a break. “Sure, where to? I want to go somewhere cool. Or should we go skiing again?”

Tan Qing said, “Mm, wherever you decide is fine.”

The car stopped outside the villa but didn’t pull into the garage. Zhu Lianzhen asked, “You’re not coming in?”

“I still have something to take care of.”

Zhu Lianzhen had just opened the car door, but after thinking for a second, he closed it again and turned to look at Tan Qing. He leaned over and pressed his lips against Tan Qing’s, leaving a light and tentative kiss.

Just as he was about to pull away, Tan Qing reached out and held the back of his head, returning the kiss with unexpected intensity. After a moment, Zhu Lianzhen tasted blood, with a faint sweetness. He wasn’t sure if his own canine tooth had accidentally cut the inside of Tan Qing’s lip. He tried to end the kiss, pulling back slightly, but Tan Qing intercepted him again.

Zhu Lianzhen started to run out of breath and instinctively bit down. The taste of rust flooded his mouth without warning. Tan Qing finally let go. Zhu Lianzhen took a deep breath and noticed a bead of bright red blood seeping from one corner of Tan Qing’s mouth. He froze for a second, then reached for a tissue.

“It’s fine.” Tan Qing pressed his lips together expressionlessly.

Suddenly, he sensed something flash in his peripheral vision.

His professional instincts kicked in, and he quickly turned to scan the surroundings, examining every corner carefully.

“What is it?” Zhu Lianzhen followed his gaze.

Tan Qing frowned slightly. “Maybe… the streetlight is broken.”

Zhu Lianzhen didn’t think much of it, said goodbye, and got out of the car.

Before bed that night, he kept watching travel vlogs from abroad. In the end, he settled on a destination and sent Tan Qing a message: “How about Iceland?”

The reply came quickly: “Okay.”

–

“Here are all your materials. Please check and accept them.” The agent handed over the neatly organized folder to Tan Qing. He looked through it and nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Tan. If you have any questions later, feel free to contact us anytime.”

After all the formalities for purchasing the property were completed, Tan Qing still hadn’t figured out how to bring it up with Zhu Lianzhen. Buying the place where they lived together had just been a decision he made on his own—it might not even be necessary to tell Zhu Lianzhen.

But he was genuinely curious about the other party’s reaction. Would he be surprised? Would he see it as a sudden burden?

Staring at the red property certificate in his hands, Tan Qing curled his lips in a self-mocking smirk. He didn’t even understand the meaning behind his own actions, so how could he expect Zhu Lianzhen to accept it without question?

His phone buzzed repeatedly with notification sounds from incoming messages. Tan Qing took a deep breath and began checking them one by one.

—Did you see it? Why aren’t you replying? Didn’t I take good photos of you two? Which one is your favorite?

—So disgusting. Homosexuals are disgusting. So you’ve been lying this whole time. You’re just a scumbag who tricks people for money and love, right? But it’s fine. If you apologize to me, I’ll forgive you. Because I love you.

—Are you home? Open the door for me.

—I’ll be watching you two, always.

Tan Qing removed the SIM card and threw it into the ashtray.

This wasn’t the first time he had been harassed by a stalker fan. His phone number had been leaked a few times before, but this was the first time he truly felt threatened.

Sure enough, they had been photographed that day.

If those photos were exposed, there would be no hiding his relationship with Zhu Lianzhen. And he couldn’t contact the sender directly because that would mean admitting the photos were real.

Just as he was debating whether to gather personal information on the person, a call came in from an unknown number.

Tan Qing hesitated for a moment before answering. He heard the familiar voice of a middle-aged man. He was slightly taken aback, but greeted him politely. “Hello, CEO Chu.”

“You’re not working today, right? If you’re free now, come to the company. I have something to ask you.”

Skipping any explanation over the phone, Tan Qing had a vague sense of what was coming. He sat in the car, distracted the entire way, and asked the driver to go as slowly as possible.

Tan Qing had only thought about what would happen if Pei Qiao discovered their secret relationship. He had even prepared excuses to defend Zhu Lianzhen. He hadn’t expected the first person to confront him would be the company boss.

That set of photos taken by the stalker had ended up in Chu Yu’s personal email inbox. Chu Yu had Tan Qing sit down and drink some water to soothe his throat, then asked him to explain everything in detail.

Chu Yu had always placed great importance on the personal conduct of his artists, as it was directly tied to their long-term business reputation. Tan Qing knew that at this point, there was no need to hide anything anymore, and he admitted that the intimate behavior in the photos wasn’t photoshopped.

Chu Yu frowned. “Were you two just fooling around in private, or is there actually something going on between you?”

In truth, he didn’t need to ask—the look in Tan Qing’s eyes alone was enough to confirm it was the latter.

Chu Yu didn’t keep Tan Qing for long. He agreed to help Tan Qing clean up all the evidence, but also demanded that he resolve things with Zhu Lianzhen as soon as possible.

“You don’t want to live in constant fear every day, do you? You’re barely in your twenties, so why take such a risk that could ruin your future?” Chu Yu spoke calmly. He believed this was just a moment of impulsiveness between the two, not a complete lack of judgment. “You’re in a special profession. Now isn’t the time to be in a relationship. Focus on your work first.”

Seeing Tan Qing’s unfocused gaze and lack of response, Chu Yu added, “Tan Qing, you know you two are the company’s most valued artists now. From a personal standpoint, I’m not afraid of you making mistakes, but I’m afraid you’ll regret them. Of course, I know you’re not lacking the courage to stand up to malice, but think about it: if one day you become the source of pain for him, are you sure you won’t feel guilty? Are you sure Zhu Lianzhen feels the same way you do?”

Tan Qing’s eyes finally stirred, as if awakening from a daze.

He had been lost in self-deception for too long and had naturally forgotten that before Zhu Lianzhen accepted him, he had to overcome emotional barriers. He had forgotten that without this risky relationship, Zhu Lianzhen’s happiness would only continue to grow.

Would he regret it?

When their ideals crumbled in an instant, when they had to bear tens of thousands of disappointments, curses, discrimination, and rumors… would Zhu Lianzhen truly feel no regret?

Tan Qing lifted his head and looked at Chu Yu, realizing that all the fears he had tried to hide had already been laid bare in front of the other party.

Rather than clinging to the illusion that Zhu Lianzhen might never regret this, it would be better to avoid risk through obedience and compromise—this was also the most dignified conclusion Chu Yu could offer to their relationship.

“Do it soon,” Chu Yu said. “Fan Gerong came to me a few days ago asking to terminate his contract. Knowing his personality, he’s probably already found a new agency. Tan Qing, things might get rough for you guys for a while. Don’t go adding fuel to the fire.”

The evening breeze wasn’t particularly cool.

Tan Qing didn’t rush home. Instead, he drove to the banks of the Lan River to take a walk. When he got tired, he sat casually on a step. Back when he was still a student, he used to come here to kill time and observe the passing crowds of strangers. Now, several years had passed, and though the scenery before him remained unchanged, his state of mind had shifted completely.

He was capable of doing many things.

Tan Qing had self-awareness. He knew he could become someone considered outstanding by conventional standards, so he never belittled himself. Even though not even his mother truly welcomed his birth, he never believed that he lacked a reason to exist.

He simply felt that he was still on the path of searching for answers, and that sooner or later, he would understand all the questions that had confused him in his youth.

It was difficult for Tan Qing to say clearly now whether, at the moment he accepted Pei Qiao’s invitation, he had chosen this career path or chosen to truly meet Zhu Lianzhen.

At first, he had only wanted to treat the boy as another model of life, to re-experience everything through his eyes. But somewhere along the way, things had gone off course. He still hadn’t found a clear ideal, hadn’t gained passion, and hadn’t, like Zhu Lianzhen, accepted the vastness of the world.

His world remained narrow. The only thing he had learned was a set of trivial emotions. They were fresh enough to him that they easily disguised themselves in his heart as something resembling “love.”

He had doubted more than once what his feelings for Zhu Lianzhen truly were.

Could they be called affection, or what people called “love”?

Or were they merely some unspeakable selfish desire?

Knowing clearly that once their relationship was exposed, it would surely bring endless trouble, and knowing it would pose risks to Zhu Lianzhen, he should have buried those feelings from the beginning. If he had wanted to, he definitely could have ensured that no one would ever know.

But he still selfishly drew closer.

The straight-A student who had played the perfect persona for over twenty years finally realized, at some point, that even his patience had limits. Once his heart was stirred, it grew with an illogical force that pierced through his hypocritical facade.

Night had fallen. People along the Lan River gradually dispersed, leaving only Tan Qing behind in the evening breeze.

What would Zhu Lianzhen think? Though he often acted impulsively, he had never made a mistake when it came to major matters. A high-profile profession, a high-risk relationship—anyone would think the hidden danger needed to be eliminated immediately.

Tan Qing held his phone in his hand, hesitated for a long time, and finally dialed that number.

It rang several times before being answered. Zhu Lianzhen sounded drowsy, not even bothering to open his mouth fully. He just gave a faint “Mm.”

“Asleep?” Tan Qing asked.

“You woke me up.” Zhu Lianzhen’s voice was unclear, but he forced out a slightly cheerful tone. “Will you come home tonight?”

“I’m taking a walk outside. I’ll be back soon,” Tan Qing said. “I suddenly thought of something just now, and it seems like I’ve never asked you before, so I called.”

“Ask.”

“Xiao Zhu, what do you like about me?”

“Huh?” Zhu Lianzhen was baffled. What was this guy doing playing some truth-or-dare game in the middle of the night instead of coming home to sleep?

After a few seconds of silence, Zhu Lianzhen replied, “You want me to praise you?”

“No, just curious,” Tan Qing chuckled. “Think about it—we’re so different in personality, and you’re not someone who lacks attention. So, what made you agree to be with me in the first place?”

Zhu Lianzhen had no idea what Tan Qing was up to, asking such an embarrassing question out of nowhere.

Still, Zhu Lianzhen gave it some serious thought before replying, “Does there have to be a specific reason? If liking someone was only about their good qualities, then it’d be way too easy. But I’m not your fan, you know.”

“—To me, even your flaws are cute. That’s why I can’t help but like you,” he said.

On the other end of the line, there was a stretch of silence. Tan Qing’s fingers, holding the phone, stiffened for a moment before regaining sensation. No matter how many emotions he had experienced before, nothing compared to the relief he felt in that moment. Then, he let out a quiet laugh. “Why is it that you always give me answers I don’t expect?”

“Because you’re dumb. It’s the middle of the night, and you actually had to call just to ask such a simple question,” Zhu Lianzhen grumbled as he yawned.

“Sorry, Xiao Zhu,” Tan Qing said. “I’m sorry.”

“Alright, alright, now let me sleep.”

“Mm. Goodnight.”

The call ended. His small world returned to silence, and the lonely man was once again left with only the night for company.

As expected, he still couldn’t curb his greed.

The moment he realized Zhu Lianzhen would indulge him, he just wanted to keep being selfish a little longer, to wear a false mask and savor the final moments they had together. He was fully aware of the consequences of keeping things hidden, and once Zhu Lianzhen found out and got angry, he definitely wouldn’t forgive him easily.

But still, he wanted to make that mistake.

Before the day came when he would be hated, he still wanted… that person’s affection to last just a little longer.