Time stretches long and agonizing when you’re alone and bored.
I took the fever medicine, and my body finally stopped alternating between hot and cold. But the pain in my leg and foot continued to rage, growing worse as time passed.
I stared blankly out of the cave for a while, every rustle of leaves making my heart pound, wondering if they had returned. But in reality, they’d only been gone for half a day.
As dusk fell, I painstakingly started a fire. With my leg incapacitated, I could only pick up branches close by. The branches were damp, and the lighter failed to ignite them several times.
My stomach rumbled with hunger, so I took out my precious dry rations and broke them in half.
I actually regretted it that afternoon; I should have gone with them. While logic told me I’d only be a burden, emotionally, I didn’t want to be left alone.
I thought about death.
I’m still young, not yet at the age to fear death’s arrival. I don’t want to die, but given my current situation, if they don’t come back, I could very well starve to death here. Or encounter some insects or beasts, be torn apart, poisoned… who knows?
I wondered where they were, if they had already made it out, or if they were still wandering somewhere in the dense forest. It was dark now, and if Qiu Lu and Xu Zirong got a fever again, I didn’t know if Wen Lingyu could handle it alone.
She probably could; after all, she did so well last night.
I also wondered what was wrong with Qiu Lu and Xu Zirong. Was it some kind of poison or Gu?
The thought of Gu brought Shen Jianqing to mind again. I thought of the youth in the dark blue Miao outfit. He must be angry that we left without a word, but he also held too many mysteries for us to fathom.
As I was lost in thought, a rustling sound suddenly reached my ears.
“Hiss—hiss—”
My eyelashes fluttered, and my thoughts snapped back into focus instantly.
That was—the sound of a snake!
I turned my head and saw a vibrant green snake hanging from the cave entrance. Its triangular head was pointed at me, and its deep blue tongue flickered in and out. Its bright red eyes held an ominous vertical brown pupil, fixated on me.
I shivered on the spot, too terrified to even make any sudden movements, fearing I’d startle it into attacking. I braced my hands on the ground and slowly shifted backward.
But the green snake twisted its body, slithering onto the cave wall, its eyes still locked onto me.
That was the gaze of a predator.
I picked up a partially burned branch and hurled it at the snake. The green snake was hit but didn’t retreat. Instead, it let out an angry hiss and rapidly slithered closer to me!
If I got bitten by a snake now, with no antivenom and no way out, I would surely die.
The instinct for survival made me forget the pain in my right foot, and I stubbornly stood up. I picked up another branch, holding it in my hand, confronting the green snake.
The snake paused for a moment, completely unafraid of me, then landed on the ground, coiling its body and rising up.
I held my breath, not daring to take a single gasp, afraid that if I so much as blinked, it would lunge forward!
“Hiss—”
Only the snake’s dangerous sound filled the air.
Suddenly, the green snake leaned back, then moved swiftly, lunging forward!
“Ah!” I instinctively roared, swinging the branch in the direction of the green snake. But the creature was cunning; it dodged my branch, its body quickly coiling upward, taking a bite!
I quickly threw away the branch, narrowly avoiding its fangs.
My heart pounded fiercely, my chest heaved, and my breath was erratic.
Without anything to defend myself, my mind went blank for a moment. It was in that instant of vulnerability that the green snake followed through.
At that moment, I clearly saw its mouth, open almost 180 degrees, and its two sharp fangs.
I retreated two steps, falling to the ground. Subconsciously, I fumbled for something in my pocket. Without realizing what it was, I threw it at the green snake!
I clutched my head, with only one thought in my mind: I’m going to die here today.
However, after waiting a moment, the anticipated pain didn’t arrive.
I lowered my hands and saw that what I had thrown was actually the sachet Shen Jianqing had given me. It lay forlornly on the ground, while the green snake, as if deterred by something, recoiled its body and slithered around the sachet, looking like it wanted to approach but dared not.
Finally, the green snake reluctantly flicked its tongue, flattened itself on the ground, and quickly slithered away.
I sat there, stunned, unable to regain my composure for a long while.
The green snake left? Just because of a sachet?
I tried to calm my rapid breathing, still shaken, and hobbled to retrieve the sachet. I never expected it could save my life in a crucial moment.
My right hand squeezed the plump pouch; inside, dry grass seemed to be pressed together, giving it a crisp feel.
Although I hadn’t been harmed in that terrifying encounter, I felt utterly exhausted. I shuffled further into the cave, all my remaining strength gone. I lay on my side on the ground and drifted into a groggy sleep.
When I woke up again, I was very cold, shivering uncontrollably. It was pitch black outside, so it must have been night again. There was no light source in the cave, and I could only hear my own heavy breathing mixed with the dripping water inside the cave. The ground was damp and very cold and wet; the part of me touching it felt soaked. I tugged at my windbreaker, wanting to get up, but my muscles ached, and I had no strength left.
I lay still for a while, and suddenly the phrase “lingering on in a feeble state” came to mind. I thought mockingly, doesn’t that perfectly describe my current condition?
Perhaps if I died here, no one would truly grieve for me. After all, even my parents don’t care about me anymore.
In this pitch-black place, I actually started to miss my mother and father. Perhaps this is a common human affliction: in moments of vulnerability, one seeks the most primitive embrace. Actually, it’s probably better this way; they both have their own families now, so even if I died, it wouldn’t cause any trouble or burden for their lives.
I felt a bit self-pitying, and some unprovoked grievance welled up. Ai, illness truly is the destroyer of human will.
My thoughts scattered, and after a short while, I vaguely fell asleep again.
I hoped that next time I opened my eyes, I would feel a bit better. After all these years, I’ve always gotten through things on my own.
However, fate had other plans. When I woke again, my consciousness was hazy, my eyelids seemingly glued shut with superglue. I could only pry them open halfway, seeing the light spilling in from the cave entrance.
My throat burned with a fiery pain, like swallowing razor blades; even swallowing saliva was agony. My strength was completely drained; moving a finger required immense effort.
The persistent, high fever had raised my body temperature to a frightening level. The ground itself felt cool beneath me.
I vaguely thought, if this continues, I’d rather have been bitten to death by the venomous snake yesterday to avoid more suffering.
But I don’t want to die. Who wants to die? I’m still so young, attending a prestigious university, with a bright future ahead…
Someone, please come. Anyone.
Save me, save me…
Perhaps my prayers were finally answered by heaven, for I seemed to hear footsteps!
Not too light nor too heavy, not too fast nor too slow, each step resonated in my heart!
I strained with all my might to look towards the cave entrance. In a daze, a tall figure appeared in the bright opening. He was backlit, so I could only vaguely make out a slender silhouette.
Then came the “clinking” sound of ornaments colliding, which sounded exceptionally pleasant in the cave.
Just from a blurry shadow, I knew it was Shen Jianqing.
The Miao youth I had avoided and dared not face.
He was so kind and naive before, whether genuinely or as an act, he would surely let bygones be bygones and not leave me to die!
My heart began to pound violently; I had to grasp this last straw of hope. My lips parted, trying to utter a cry for help, but the sound was too faint for even me to hear.
Shen Jianqing walked directly in front of me, stopped, and looked down at me with a condescending gaze.
Like looking down at an insignificant insect.
“Save me… save, save me…”
The vibration of my vocal cords brought tearing pain, and he finally took pity, leaning down and pressing his ear to my mouth, deciphering my humble plea.
Then, Shen Jianqing moved his lips to my ear. Each soft opening and closing of his lips brushed ambiguously across my cheek. It caused a tingling itch, like the flutter of a butterfly’s wings or the delicate crawl of an insect.
Shen Jianqing said, “You told me that outsiders value bartering, fair exchange. You want me to save you, but what can you offer in return?”
What can I offer in return?
What do I possess that I could exchange with him?
My muddled brain churned slowly, and the first thought that emerged after a long while was that he had never spoken to me in such a cold, even malicious, tone. Even when I had flatly rejected him, he had been sorrowful but not hurt.
In my memory, Shen Jianqing was supposed to be the gentle breeze sweeping over towering mountains, the solitary yet bright moon hanging high in the dark night sky. Whatever he was, he wasn’t like this now.
I struggled to lift my eyes and only then realized the way he looked at me, like some terrifying beast staring at its long-coveted prey. He felt utterly unfamiliar to me now, like the snake from last night, beautiful yet dangerous, a completely different person from the Miao youth I had spent half a month with.
My body instinctively trembled.
Only then, belatedly, did I suddenly understand. My suspicions hadn’t been wrong; Shen Jianqing wasn’t the Shen Jianqing I had seen. Perhaps this was his true self. He had been deceiving us from the beginning.
My heart sank, as if hitting no bottom, and my whole being felt hollow.
“What will you exchange with me?” Seeing my lack of response, he repeated slowly, having me completely at his mercy.
I struggled to open my mouth, still clinging to a last shred of hope: “I have money…”
“I don’t want money; it’s useless to me.” Shen Jianqing cut me off abruptly. He leaned down, stretched out his hand, and squeezed the lower half of my face, bringing himself closer, his breath washing over my face.
He enunciated each word, every syllable like a nail: “I only want you.”
