This mini-program had three channels to cater to different sexual orientations. Zhou Yi directly clicked into the [love is love] channel. The top profile picture was a black-and-white sketch of a face, looking like a default system avatar—too perfunctory, clearly not the mark of a dedicated, good employee. Zhou Yi ignored this person and scrolled past them.
The dazzling array of handsome guy avatars below formed a stark contrast to the default system avatar one at the top. Zhou Yi was dazzled, some of the avatars were so ‘greasy’ they gave him a minor internal injury.
He directly handed the phone to Yu Feng, scrolling the screen upward. “Just pick one that looks appealing to you.”
Yu Feng glanced at it and casually pointed to the rather conspicuous default system avatar.
“This one?” Zhou Yi took the phone back and examined it. “Hmm… quite unconventional.”
He clicked into the profile and found there were no photos. “This guy hasn’t posted any pictures, and the avatar isn’t of him either. Be careful—what if the person on the other side is actually Zhu Bajie[mfn]豬八戒 (Zhū Bā jiè): Zhu Bajie, character in the 16th century novel Journey to the West 西遊記 (Xī yóu Jì) with pig-like characteristics and armed with a muckrake. Zhu Bajie, also named Zhu Wuneng, is one of the three disciples of Tang Sanzang, along with Sun Wukong and Sha Wujing. Zhu means “swine” and Bajie means “eight precepts“. Prior to his being recruited by the bodhisattva, Guanyin, Zhu Bajie went by Zhu Gāngliè (豬剛巤) literally “Strong-Maned Pig”). Buddhist scholars consider that both expressions are related to “Śīla pāramitā“. In many English versions of the story, Zhu Bajie is called “Monk Pig”, “Pig”, “Piggy”, or “Pigsy”.[/mfn]—” As he said this, he clicked on the one-sentence voice introduction from ‘Zhu Bajie’, turning the volume up to max. For the first three seconds, there was no sound, just white noise mixed with faint breathing.
“Hello, I’m Xiao Dao.” The voice came through the phone.
The bar was still relatively quiet since the singer on the stage hadn’t started yet, so the audio was crystal clear.
Yu Feng lifted his gaze, eyes settling on the phone in Zhou Yi’s hand.
The audio continued to play: “Perhaps this sounds a bit arrogant, but I hope my presence can bring even a small change to your life.”
This single line had taken Xie An’yu two nights to come up with. His first attempt at recording the voice message was politely rejected by Customer Service 007 for being too formal—it sounded more like an application to join the Communist Party than someone offering virtual boyfriend services.
The customer service rep emphasized that the one-sentence voice introduction was crucial—it was the storefront, after all—and had to sound sincere and appealing. Xie An’yu had no choice but to re-record it. Whether it was appealing or not, he couldn’t say, but he could guarantee it was sincere enough, given the two nights he’d spent agonizing over it.
Zhou Yi glanced up at Yu Feng. “Judging by the voice, this isn’t Zhu Bajie—it’s Tang Seng[mfn]唐僧 (Táng Sēng): Tang Sanzang is a fictional Buddhist monk and pilgrim who is a central character in the 16th century novel Journey to the West by Wu Cheng’en. His birth surname name was Chen (陳), but having been found in a river as a baby–he was abandoned after birth–he was given the name Jiāng Liú (江流; this ‘milk name‘ literally meaning “River Float”. When he first became a monk, his Dharma name is Xuánzàng (玄奘; literally meaning “Great Mystery”). Later, upon swearing brotherhood with the Tang Emperor, he gains the new surname, Tang (唐), and for the pilgrimage, he is called by the new given-name/epithet, Sānzàng (三藏, lit. The “Three Baskets”; referring to the Tripiṭaka), but is also widely known by his courtesy name Tang Seng (唐僧, lit. the “Tang Monk”). Tang Sanzang is based on the historical Tang Dynasty monk, Xuanzang.[/mfn].”
It wasn’t hard to tell it was a young man’s voice. Although his vocal range was low, his timbre was clean, and his enunciation was clear. Even Zhou Yi had to admit the voice was pleasant.
Zhou Yi then clicked on other employees’ avatars and listened to their voice introductions one by one. They were either overly elaborate lines or affected ‘bubble’ voices. The more dedicated ones even had background music. Some, to create a humorous atmosphere, even spoke in local dialects, which made Zhou Yi laugh.
After laughing for a while, Zhou Yi finally remembered the task at hand. He asked Yu Feng, “Which one do you want?”
As the guitar accompaniment started, a soothing love song played in the background. A couple sitting at the other end of the bar was kissing. Yu Feng was somewhat of a voice enthusiast, and after listening to so many voice introductions with Zhou Yi, only the first one had stuck in his mind.
“The first one,” Yu Feng said.
“Still the default system avatar?”
“Mm.”
There was a wide variety of services available: text chat, voice chat, video chat, voice calls, and even companionship for gaming, movie-watching, or shopping. Different services came at different prices, with more premium services costing more.
Zhou Yi asked Yu Feng, “How about starting with half an hour of text chat to test the waters?”
Since they had already decided to place an order, what’s the point of text chatting? The whole reason for picking this person was his voice.
Yu Feng said to Zhou Yi, “Pick the voice chat option.”
Zhou Yi laughed, teasing Yu Feng, “Looks like you’ve had quite a bit to drink today.”
“The prices are different,” Zhou Yi glanced at the price list. “Text chat is 8 yuan for half an hour, voice chat is 28 yuan[mfn]28塊錢 (28 kuài qián): T/N: As I said before, this kuai is an informal reference for unit of currency, something like ‘buck’. As of this point of translation, 28 CNY is about 3.9 USD. Not too expensive, but still pretty pricey, considering you could get a decent meal for less than 10 CNY.[/mfn] for half an hour.”
The price list also included a ‘voice call’ option, which was different from ‘voice chat’. ‘Voice chat’ meant sending WeChat voice messages, while ‘voice call’ referred to actual WeChat phone calls—priced even higher.
Zhou Yi placed the order and paid the 28 yuan.
Only after completing the purchase did Zhou Yi notice a line of fine red print at the bottom of the service menu: 【All service items are only valid from the actual time of successful order placement until the scheduled end time. Services will expire if the time limit is exceeded (excluding weekly, monthly, or permanent purchases). Please manage your time wisely~】
Zhou Yi stared at the fine print, pondering for a moment.
So, the timer starts as soon as the order is placed? No wonder this mini-program had such a name.
***
The [Time-Limited Boyfriend] platform had a poverty alleviation policy—newly signed staff would be pinned at the top of the corresponding channel’s homepage for half an hour. This was essentially a free ad slot, offering maximum exposure. But it was time-limited; after half an hour, it would be removed.
With a ‘buzz’, a notification popped up from the backend—
【System Notification: You have a new customer order. Please handle it promptly. Note: Complete the service within the allotted time. Do not exceed the time limit.】
Xie An’yu stared at his phone, stunned. He had only just signed the contract; someone had placed an order so quickly?
He even began to doubt whether this mini-program was a scam. Along with the doubt came anxiety, a feeling as if he were about to step onto a battlefield.
The customer service sent over the customer’s WeChat contact card, and Xie An’yu sent a friend request to the other party.
***
“Here it comes,” Zhou Yi accepted the friend request from the other party, then handed the phone back to Yu Feng with a grin. “Make the most of your time—it’s limited. You won’t be able to chat after the time runs out.”
Yu Feng was momentarily confused. “Huh?” He picked up the phone and saw a message from the other party.
Xiao Dao: 【Hello】
Xiao Dao: 【May I ask how you would like to be addressed?】
Two sentences, and Yu Feng was already baffled. Why did it feel like this person was about to pitch him insurance?
What kind of approach was this?
He typed a reply—
Xiao Zhou Sails Away[mfn]小舟從此逝 (Xiǎo Zhōu cóng cǐ shì): lit. The Little Boat Sails Away; The Small Boat Departs From Here.[/mfn]: Call me whatever you want.
Xie An’yu froze right at the start of the conversation. He suddenly remembered the 《How to Be an Excellent Virtual Partner》 guide that Customer Service 007 had sent him and quickly skimmed through it.
It stated that, regarding addressing the client, it should convey a sense of closeness and intimacy, making the other person feel valued and cherished. The right nickname could bridge the distance between the customer and the virtual partner…
The more Xie An’yu read, the more he felt what was written there was all nonsense—no practical advice whatsoever.
Since the reference material had no reference value, Xie An’yu decided to wing it.
Xiao Dao: 【Can I call you Xiao Zhou?】
Xiao Zhou Sails Away: 【Sure.】
Zhou Yi watched the entire exchange between Yu Feng and his virtual boyfriend, remarking in surprise, “Why is he so formal? I thought these chat companions were all about flirty banter.”
As if by some unspoken understanding, Zhou Yi added, “Feels like he’s about to sell you insurance.”
Yu Feng couldn’t help but chuckle.
Zhou Yi patted Yu Feng’s arm. “Xiao Zhou, check out his profile info.”
Yu Feng glanced up at him.
Zhou Yi’s face was flushed with laughter: “Hurry up, Xiao Zhou.”
Yu Feng opened the mini-program and checked the other person’s profile. Zhou Yi leaned in for a look. “Only 18? Damn, suddenly I feel kinda guilty.” He glanced at Yu Feng. “This feels a bit wrong…”
“He’s not underage,” Yu Feng said.
“If you were a few years older, he could be calling you ‘uncle’.”
“…”
The two continued scrolling.
Gemini, blood type B, height 183 cm, weight 128 lbs.
The measurements section was filled with a row of asterisks. Zhou Yi wondered. “Why aren’t the measurements showing?”
Yu Feng scrolled down, and at the very bottom, there was a small fine print prompt—
【To view the staff’s measurements, additional payment is required to unlock permissions~】
Zhou Yi laughed, “So, that means if someone wants to see my measurements, they have to pay too.”
Yu Feng shot him a look. “You filled that out too?”
“Had to. Couldn’t submit the application otherwise.”
Yu Feng was torn between exasperation and amusement. “…Don’t you have enough classes to teach? Too much free time.”
***
Xie An’yu held his phone, eyes fixed on the screen. The other side hadn’t replied for four minutes. The customer had chosen a voice chat—28 yuan for half an hour. Converting that to an hourly wage, Xie An’yu thought it was quite expensive. He didn’t want the client to waste their money.
So he took the initiative to message to the other side: 【Still there?】
Zhou Yi saw the notification pop up on Yu Feng’s screen. He could tell that the other party clearly hadn’t grasped the essence of this paid game—the essence was flirting and stirring up ambiguity. This little staff was way too formal.
Yu Feng set down his glass and typed a reply to the little staff: 【Still here】
Xie An’yu didn’t know what to chat about. He mulled over it for a long time, finally squeezing out two words: 【Thank you】
Xiao Zhou Sails Away: 【For what?】
Xiao Dao: 【Thank you for ordering my service】
“I bet he just started today,” Zhou Yi remarked from the side. “Ask him if today’s his first day. Too cold, this won’t do. He’s failing as a boyfriend.”
“Why ask that?”
“Hey, no harm in asking. Or you could ask him if he’s trying to sell you insurance.”
Yu Feng scoffed, “That’s ridiculous.”
But he did ask: 【First day today?】
Xiao Dao: 【Mm, you’re my first customer】
The other party recalled the message right after posting it—probably because he felt that it sounded a bit off.
Yu Feng replied nonchalantly: 【Really? It’s an honor】
***
Xie An’yu sat there cringing at himself. The awkward, toothpaste-squeezing conversation was also torturous for him.
The customer had paid for a voice chat—28 yuan for half an hour. On Shuangye Isle, that 28 yuan was equivalent to two hours of hourly wage. Xie An’yu thought it was quite expensive.
Since the customer was paying for voice chat, continuously sending text messages seemed inappropriate.
Though reluctant, Xie An’yu steeled himself and proactively asked the customer: 【Want to voice chat?】
Before he could hit send, he heard a knock on the door from outside. It was his aunt’s voice: “An’yu?”
Xie An’yu tensed up, feeling like a thief. He hastily shoved his phone into his pocket, accidentally pressing the send button in his rush.
“Can I come in?”
“Mm, go ahead.”
“Did you eat enough for dinner?” Xie Li closed the door behind her.
“Yeah, I’m full.”
“Wu Jie said you went for a run this morning? I couldn’t find you at all this morning.”
“Ah.” Xie An’yu sat at his desk, his hand unconsciously drifting toward his pocket. He felt his phone vibrate.
Xie Li chuckled twice. “So early? How did you manage to get up?”
“I’m used to it. On the island, I always woke up this early.”
“Hmm…” Xie Li looked at him, hesitating as if she wanted to say more. She wanted to ask Xie An’yu about his future plans but didn’t know how to bring it up. After all, she was the one who had invited him here, and asking now might seem like she was eager to kick him out. She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
Xie An’yu kept his right hand pressed against his pocket. He asked his aunt, “Did you need something?”
Xie Li hesitated for a moment, then shook her head: “No, nothing. Auntie just came in to check on you. Alright, I won’t bother you anymore. I’m going out. Get some sleep early.”
***
As soon as she stepped out of the room, Xie Li saw Wu Guosheng emerge from the kitchen, lowering his voice to ask, “Did you ask him?”
Xie Li’s expression looked troubled. “No, I couldn’t bring myself to say it.”
“What’s there to hesitate about? It’s not like you’re kicking him out.”
“Can you keep your voice down?”
“If you won’t ask, I will. These things should be made clear. Are we just going to let him freeload here indefinitely?”
Xie Li quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him into the living room: “What are you talking about?! How is it freeloading? He just got here yesterday. Wu Guosheng, what do you mean by that?”
“You know exactly what I mean,” Wu Guosheng shook off her hand. “I told you before—if you can’t handle it, don’t take it on[mfn]沒有金剛鑽，別攬瓷器活 (méi yǒu jīn gāng zuàn, bié lǎn cí qì huó): lit. if you don’t have a diamond, stay out of the porcelain business; (Proverb) if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen; if you cannot handle the pressure, you should not remain in a position where you have to deal with it.[/mfn]. What do you mean by bringing in a burden[mfn]拖油瓶 (tuō yóu píng): lit. drag an oil bottle. (originally Wu) children from the previous marriage of a woman who is about to remarry; (derog.) (of a woman) to bring one’s children into a second marriage; (of a widow) remarry and take along her children from the preceding marriage； child of a preceding marriage living with its mother in her second marriage.[/mfn] now?”
“You—”
Wu Jie, who had been watching TV in the living room, tossed the remote aside and headed toward the bedroom. As she passed her parents, she shot them an expressionless glance. “Can you two stop arguing? If you’re going to argue, can you do it in your room?”
Wu Guosheng’s temper flared even hotter. “Who are you giving that dead-eyed look all day to? Quitting a perfectly good job to go study for some postgraduate exam—seems like all of you don’t want to live a normal life anymore!”
Wu Jie ignored him and walked straight into her room.
“Can you just say less? She quit, so what? If she wants to take the postgraduate exam, let her. Why do you have to interfere so much?”
“Me interfere with her? Who in this family do I even dare to interfere with anymore!”
***
Xie An’yu’s attention was entirely on his phone; he hadn’t heard the commotion outside.
When he pulled out his phone, he realized his client hadn’t sent him a message—the vibration he felt earlier was just a push notification from another app. The text message he’d sent earlier had gone through, but the other party hadn’t responded.
Xie An’yu felt uneasy. The 《Important Notes》 sent by Customer Service 007 clearly stated: No awkward silences; no killing the conversation; don’t let the client feel bored.
Well, now he’d really messed up.
Xie An’yu felt a bit frustrated. He scrolled back through the chat history—just a few sparse messages—which only made him feel worse. Not long after, his phone vibrated again, but it wasn’t a message from the client. It was a notification from the mini-program’s backend.
【System Notification: This service session has ended. Please cease further communication with the client.】
Thank you for reading!
For now, I think I’ll upload new chapters around this time each week. See you next week!
[dropdown title=”List of Idiom in Chapter 05″]
五花八門 (wǔ huā bā mén): of a wide variety; various; all kinds of; multifarious; of a wide/rich variety; of all sorts; Originally refers to the five elements array and the eight gate array.特立獨行 (tè lì dú xíng): independent in mind and action; unconventional and strong-minded; not follow the crowd; not drift with the tide.
微乎其微 (wēi hū qí wēi): very little; next to nothing (idiom); a tiny bit.
一本正經 (yī běn zhèng jīng): in deadly earnest; absolutely serious; dead earnest; deadpan; with a poker face; Originally refers to a classic of moral standards, later, it’s used to describe the solemn seriousness, solemnly; Sometimes ironic.
花裡胡哨 (huā lǐ hú shào): (colloquial) showy; gaudy; garish; flashy (but without substance); bells and whistles; describes colors that are too bright and complicated. It also means that it is flashy and unrealistic.
正兒八經 (zhèng ér bā jīng): (dialectal Mandarin) serious; earnest; real; true; proper; formal; on the level; on the up and up; serious and solemn. This idiom can be used to describe a serious attitude or to refer to something that is true and reliable.
[/dropdown]Check out my completed & current project at my carrd. If you like my translation, you can buy me coffee at Ko-fi~ Thank you.
![My B Boyfriend Became an A [BL]](https://www.freenovels.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/我的男友B变A-.png "My B Boyfriend Became an A [BL]")
