When Xia Xinghe received Bai Qingzhou’s call, he was standing by the window, lost in thought.
Northern air wasn’t as clean as in the South, especially in winter when coal was burned for heating. Passing by the power plant, the massive smokestacks emitted white steam that blended into the sky. At night, the sky remained hazy—seeing stars felt like a luxury.
Reuniting with family brought joy—it was like a drifting water plant finding its roots. His father’s condition was steadily improving and he could now get out of bed and walk. Relatives often came to visit, bringing along kids who kept everyone laughing.
Family gatherings during the holidays always made it hard to say goodbye. And in this warm and harmonious atmosphere, there was a tinge of parting melancholy.
Even though Xia Xinghe worked from home, he understood the need for discipline. In past years, he would return to Liaohu on the 8th or 9th day of the lunar month to start preparing new material for his writing.
This year, when his parents asked when he planned to return, he hesitated.
In his youth, filled with ambition, he’d run to the big city determined to make a name for himself.
But now his parents were aging, their black hair turning gray. This time, especially after his father’s illness, felt like a bell tolling in his heart—reminding him of his longing and guilt toward his parents.
He was their only child, and they had poured all their love into him. Although they hadn’t always understood him, they gradually accepted his choice to make writing his career. Even when he came out and things were intense, they’d cried and yelled—but ultimately accepted his orientation and told him, “We just want you to be safe and happy.”
Xia Xinghe thought, in Liaohu, he had nothing tying him down anymore. Now that his parents were older, maybe it was time to return and take up his responsibilities as a son.
At dinner not long ago, his mother had asked again when he planned to go back.
He told them his thoughts. Qiu Guiyue’s hand paused mid-air while picking up food.
“You really plan to come back?”
Xia Xinghe nodded. “Yeah.”
Xia Anguo asked, “Are you sure? Didn’t you always want to stay in the big city? Why the sudden change of heart? What about your apartment and belongings over there?”
“I’ve thought it through,” Xia Xinghe smiled.
“I’m alone over there anyway, nothing to miss. It’ll be good to be with you two again. Since I’m a full-time writer, I don’t have to worry about job transfers. As for the apartment and stuff, I’ll go sort them out after the New Year.”
Qiu Guiyue nodded, saying, “It’s your decision,” but the joy in her eyes was unmistakable.
Xia Xinghe knew she had always wanted him to come home but hadn’t brought it up out of fear he’d feel pressured.
Then I’ll come back, Xia Xinghe thought in a daze. After all, Liaohu was never truly home.
After dinner, he stood by the window, gazing down at the lively scenes of families reuniting. He didn’t know how long had passed until he realized it was already past midnight.
He took out his phone and sent New Year greetings to his friends, and finally his finger paused—hovering over the chat with Bai Qingzhou.
Maybe I should send one, he thought.
Recently, Bai Qingzhou hadn’t messaged him much, and he hadn’t reached out either.
At first, he’d been busy. Later, he just couldn’t find a reason to.
Maybe the thought of leaving Liaohu was weighing so heavily on his mind that he instinctively began avoiding everything.
If there was anything in Liaohu he truly found hard to let go of—beyond material things like the apartment—it was probably Bai Qingzhou.
Back when he graduated, Xia Xinghe had also considered returning to his hometown or moving to a big city closer to home. But maybe it was because Bai Qingzhou’s family lived in Liaohu—despite having broken up, he somehow still ended up staying, buying a house and trying to make this city his own.
His fingers hovered over the screen, hesitating and editing. Then he finally steeled himself and sent a message with nothing more than a simple: “Happy New Year.”
After sending it, he quickly tossed his phone aside.
At 1 a.m., he hadn’t expected Bai Qingzhou to reply so quickly—and with a voice call. When the call connected and that familiar clear voice came through, it sounded so vivid that Xia Xinghe wasn’t quite sure it was real.
Bai Qingzhou just said one word: “Hello?”
Xia Xinghe stuttered slightly before replying, “G-good evening.”
“Good evening,” Bai Qingzhou responded, then paused for a second and added in a low voice,
“Happy New Year.”
That deep voice landed in Xia Xinghe’s ear like a gentle balm, silently soothing the complicated feelings in his heart.
Xia Xinghe had bought a house in Liaohu, and his household registration was now there, but he knew—his real home wasn’t here.
Home is where your family is. And he was alone.
He had tried—tried so hard. But all his efforts over the years hadn’t warmed Bai Qingzhou’s heart. So, in the end, he could only bury all those lingering feelings deep inside.
Maybe this is just how it ends.
Xia Xinghe smiled bitterly. Even now, he still hadn’t let go of Bai Qingzhou. But love can’t be forced, and in the end, he never became someone Bai Qingzhou favored.
Their relationship now wasn’t intimate. After exchanging greetings, they should’ve ended the call. But maybe it was because Xia Xinghe was feeling a bit down—he just didn’t want to hang up.
So, after a pause, he blurted out, “What are you doing?”—just to hear Bai Qingzhou’s voice a bit longer.
He knew Bai Qingzhou didn’t like talking about himself. As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it and was about to hang up, when Bai Qingzhou, after a short pause, replied calmly:
“On duty. What about you?”
“Me?” Xia Xinghe answered, “Just standing by the window, getting some air.”
Strangely enough, the two of them started chatting—casually, aimlessly.
There was no real topic. Sometimes it even fell silent. Xia Xinghe thought Bai Qingzhou was about to hang up several times, but each time, he kept the conversation going.
Eventually, Bai Qingzhou asked him,
“When are you coming back?”
He added, “The film contract draft is ready—waiting for your signature. You still haven’t compensated me for my couch; we need to talk about that when you’re back. And Bamboo hasn’t been eating properly lately… probably misses you.”
The low, even voice made Xia Xinghe pause.
Then Bai Qingzhou asked again,
“When are you coming back?”
Xia Xinghe suddenly smiled.
Maybe things weren’t as bad as he thought.
Bai Qingzhou might not love him, but after half a year of interactions, their relationship wasn’t as heartbreakingly cold as it was right after the breakup.
Love can’t be forced, but the way they were now—this dynamic—wasn’t unpleasant either.
Xia Xinghe smiled and told Bai Qingzhou,
“I’ll be back soon.”
“Soon as in when?”
Xia Xinghe thought for a moment.
“Probably after the fifteenth.”
“Okay.”
….
On the fifteenth day of the Lunar New Year, his parents had been back at work for a week. After confirming that his father was recovering well, Xia Xinghe boarded a high-speed train back.
Selling or transferring the house wasn’t something that could be done overnight. And he was an adult now—he had to build his own life. He couldn’t live with his parents forever. If he really planned to move back, he’d have to start looking at properties in his hometown too.
On the way to the station, his mother, Qiu Guiyue, said:
“Take care of yourself out there. Don’t rush things or worry about us. Your dad is fine, and I’m healthy too. We respect your decision.”
She sighed softly and added,
“Coming back might be a good idea, after all. You can’t get married or have kids, and you’re all alone out there. It’s hard for your dad and me not to worry.”
Xia Xinghe nodded and quietly committed her words to memory.
Departures are always tinged with sadness. After getting on the train, Xia Xinghe leaned against the window, watching the passing scenery. Halfway through the trip, heavy rain suddenly started pouring down.
In the north, it was rare to see such heavy rain in the winter. The cold rain quickly created puddles, and the train had to slow down. Eventually, it even stopped completely for a while.
It was the first time Xia Xinghe had experienced something like this on a high-speed train. He sat helplessly, watching the rain hit the windowpane in a chaotic rhythm. Water pooled on the ground, and raindrops splashed across it in wide ripples.
Passengers began getting restless. Voices rose in complaint. Train attendants kept announcing updates to calm everyone down. Amid the noise, Xia Xinghe’s phone suddenly buzzed.
[Bai]: You on your way back today?
What a coincidence.
Xia Xinghe smiled, lowered his head, and replied:
[Little Bamboo]: On the train.
[Little Bamboo]: Rained halfway through, been on here for hours.
[Little Bamboo]: Is it raining in Liaohu too?
[Bai]: Yeah. Pretty heavy.
[Bai]: What time will you arrive?
[Little Bamboo]: Probably after dark.
[Little Bamboo]: What, coming to pick me up?
Since their New Year’s Eve phone call, the two had occasionally chatted on WeChat.
Something they rarely did even when they were dating had slowly started happening again—after four years apart.
Xia Xinghe thought maybe it was because, back then, he was too careful around Bai Qingzhou, always afraid of upsetting him, walking on eggshells.
But now—after realizing that no matter how hard he tried, Bai Qingzhou probably would never love him—Xia Xinghe had started letting go.
He was more relaxed now, even cracking the occasional joke.
Right after sending the last message, he was about to add,
“Just kidding.”
But before he could—
Bai Qingzhou had already replied.
[Bai: Sure.]
[Little Bamboo: ???]
[Bai: Mainly because Bamboo hasn’t been eating properly lately. I wanted you to come check on him.]
Alright then. They hadn’t seen each other for nearly a month, and Xia Xinghe did miss Bamboo quite a bit. Since Bai Qingzhou had brought it up, he didn’t refuse anymore. He simply replied with a straightforward “Thanks” and continued waiting for the train to depart.
8 PM.
Just as Xia Xinghe had guessed, by the time the train finally arrived, the sky outside was already pitch black.
Walking from the platform back to the main hall felt like stepping from night into day. The brightly lit hall was crowded with people, and Xia Xinghe immediately spotted Bai Qingzhou standing across the way.
He wore a simple casual outfit, hands tucked into his pockets, standing there casually—yet somehow, he was still the most dazzling presence in the room, shining like a light even in the daylight-bright hall.
It took a few more minutes to pass through the station gates. Xia Xinghe pressed his lips together slightly as he walked toward Bai Qingzhou.
Maybe it was the sound of footsteps, or maybe it was just a feeling—just as Xia Xinghe was about to stop, Bai Qingzhou suddenly looked up.
Their eyes met unexpectedly. In that brief gaze, Xia Xinghe’s heart skipped a beat.
“Shall we go?”
Bai Qingzhou seemed briefly dazed too, but quickly returned to his usual calm. He naturally took Xia Xinghe’s luggage and led him toward the underground parking lot.
Everything felt so natural, as if it had happened countless times before.
The car started slowly. Xia Xinghe instinctively buckled his seatbelt. The silver sedan soon merged into traffic, steadily heading forward.
Inside the car, it was quiet. Neither Bai Qingzhou nor Xia Xinghe spoke. The only sounds were the soft hum of the engine and… the occasional rumbling of Xia Xinghe’s stomach.
He lowered his head awkwardly, his face burning.
He had boarded the train early in the morning, not expecting the trip to stretch into a full day. The train had been crowded and stuffy, so he hadn’t felt hungry at the time. But now that he was off the train—now that his body sensed he was almost home—his stomach had started to grumble uncontrollably.
And it just had to happen now. While Bai Qingzhou was right there.
In the quiet car, the rumbling was especially loud. Xia Xinghe was so embarrassed he didn’t dare lift his head, wishing he could crawl under the seat.
He didn’t know how much time passed—maybe it felt like a lifetime—but just as his face felt hot enough to fry an egg, the car slowly came to a stop.
“We’re here.”
Bai Qingzhou’s voice broke the silence. Xia Xinghe’s hand immediately went for the door handle. But when he glanced outside, he realized the surroundings were unfamiliar—it wasn’t his place, and it wasn’t Bai Qingzhou’s either.
Weren’t they going to check on Bamboo?
Did Bai Qingzhou move?
Xia Xinghe looked more closely, then realized they were parked outside a private restaurant.
What were they doing here?
As if sensing his thoughts, Bai Qingzhou spoke calmly: “Let’s eat first.”
A warmth bloomed in Xia Xinghe’s heart. He was about to say thanks, touched by the gesture, when Bai Qingzhou added, “Before you get too hungry and try to steal Bamboo’s dog food.”
Xia Xinghe: “…?”
He wasn’t that hungry!
Just a couple of stomach rumbles, did that really warrant such ridicule?
Fuming, Xia Xinghe got out of the car and walked into the restaurant—only to be greeted by the rich aroma of delicious food that immediately captured his attention.
…Fine. Bai Qingzhou might be a pain to talk to, but at least he had good taste.
The restaurant was in a quiet, hidden location, but the decor was clean and fresh. Light green walls were decorated with hand-painted oil art, adding a touch of spring to the chilly season.
Seated on a uniquely woven rattan chair, Xia Xinghe ordered the house-recommended black pepper sausage pasta. The smoky sausage and the mildly spicy black pepper exploded on the tongue, while the pasta was perfectly al dente. The set meal came with a cup of hot soy milk, and with a full stomach and warm belly, Xia Xinghe’s earlier annoyance faded away.
Forget it, he thought. He already knew what kind of person Bai Qingzhou was.
….
After the meal, the two of them got back in the car.
Xia Xinghe asked, “Are we heading to your place?”
Bai Qingzhou nodded slightly and reversed the car out of the parking space.
Bai Qingzhou didn’t like talking while driving. There was no music, no traffic radio—just the quiet hum of the engine. Having eaten his fill, and after a whole day on the road, Xia Xinghe was finally able to relax. He leaned quietly against the window, spacing out.
The car was warm. His belly was full. Everything around him was calm. Xia Xinghe closed his eyes, feeling sleep slowly creep in…
….
Half an hour later.
The car slowly pulled into Bai Qingzhou’s courtyard.
“We’re—”
Bai Qingzhou cut himself off mid-sentence as he turned and saw Xia Xinghe.
He had fallen asleep.
Fast asleep.
Those beautiful, lively peach blossom eyes were closed, long lashes casting faint shadows on his cheeks.
The car’s lighting was dim. A soft golden glow from the ceiling lights bathed his forehead, eyelids, and lips. Bai Qingzhou’s gaze slowly drifted from Xia Xinghe’s forehead to his slightly parted lips.
His lips were soft. And sweet.
Bai Qingzhou had tasted them more than once—sometimes gently, sometimes with force.
He loved long, lingering kisses. But he also loved biting them hard, wanting to leave his mark, a sign that this person belonged to him—that he could never run away.
At some point, Bai Qingzhou leaned down.
The distance between their lips grew smaller and smaller, until Bai Qingzhou could feel Xia Xinghe’s steady breathing.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
The slightly parted pink lips seemed like a silent temptation, pulling him into an even deeper abyss.
Bai Qingzhou was, of course, still upset with Xia Xinghe.
Their unpleasant parting back then, Xia Xinghe’s careless attitude when they reunited, the way he came and went as he pleased… and too many tangled emotions that couldn’t be clearly explained. But at this moment, all the pride, resentment, and lingering love-hate had transformed into a raw, undeniable desire—he wanted to kiss him, and he wanted to…
A dark intensity flickered in Bai Qingzhou’s eyes. His lips were nearly brushing Xia Xinghe’s when suddenly—
A sharp burst of barking shattered the intimate atmosphere.
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
Bamboo was jumping excitedly outside the car, pawing frantically at the door with a loud “clang clang” sound—so loud it could be heard ten meters away.
Xia Xinghe stirred groggily, eyes half-lidded with sleep. “Mm… we’re here?”
“…Yeah.”
Bai Qingzhou quickly pulled away, suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to toss Bamboo out of the compound.