Yan Jie and Jiang Nan’an’s fingers intertwined, the cool ring on his finger pressing against Jiang Nan’an, a bit cold, but quickly warmed by Yan Jie’s body temperature to become as warm as he was.
A kiss, quiet and lingering, but not much else could be done beyond that.
Jiang Nan’an’s clothes were indeed too big; as they shifted around, they became loose and rode up, exposing half his shoulder and a section of his waist.
Yan Jie held him, lying quietly together for a while, his hand resting on Jiang Nan’an’s body, fingertips gently brushing over the faint scars on his waist, like a comforting gesture across many years of time.
The smooth, hard surface of the ring pressed against the skin, feeling slightly strange, but still within the tolerable range, and since Jiang Nan’an didn’t mind Yan Jie’s touch, he didn’t stop him.
“I like you, Nan Nan.”
The satisfaction and love in his heart was too overwhelming. If possible, Yan Jie truly wanted to carve out his heart to show Jiang Nan’an, to make him believe, to let him know.
But since that wasn’t possible, he could only use pale words to tell him repeatedly, hoping he could feel a bit more secure, believe a bit more that he truly loved him.
“Mm.”
Jiang Nan’an heard him, lowered his eyes, and responded faintly.
Yan Jie raised an eyebrow slightly, suddenly remembering to ask:
“What do you mean by ‘mm’? Do you know what I like about you?”
“I know.”
“Then tell me.”
“My face.”
“?”
“You like that I look good.”
“.”
Yan Jie cursed inwardly, smiling helplessly:
“What else?”
“Nothing else, I suppose.”
“That’s it?”
“Mm, what else would there be?”
“If I only liked your face, I probably would have approached you at first sight and fast-forwarded straight to proposing.”
“Men can’t marry men.”
“Well, it’s about the same meaning whether it’s possible or not.”
Speaking of this, Yan Jie suddenly realized that he had never actually discussed these things with Jiang Nan’an.
Since the atmosphere was right and they had touched on the topic, he naturally began:
“I didn’t used to watch TV dramas or movies, and I didn’t like the entertainment industry, so I didn’t pay much attention. But I remember that day Fat Fish wanted me to meet a girl, but she thought I wasn’t romantic enough, didn’t like me, and made an excuse to leave. So Fat Fish and I were chatting on the side, and as I was looking around, I saw the poster for your movie, ‘Land of Blood Silence.’ That poster captured you so well, it made the story seem interesting, so I dragged Fat Fish to watch it.”
“Oh.” Jiang Nan’an picked out the key point from his story:
“So it was still because of my face.”
“Not just that.” Yan Jie chuckled:
“But actually, I already knew you before that. I thought you were really interesting, fun to talk to, with an interesting personality, so I always liked to duo with you, remember?”
“Mm.”
“Later I found out that the interesting ‘Teacher Diao’ was you.”
“…” Why did he find out? That was a memory Jiang Nan’an didn’t want to recall.
“Actually, I didn’t pay much attention when it was trending. I was in the Sahara at that time. It wasn’t until later when I was chatting with Fat Fish that I found out it was you. Coincidentally, Fat Fish told me that Blazing Holy Grail had invited you, and I thought, I must meet someone so interesting and good-looking, so I had him squeeze me in.”
“?” Hearing this, Jiang Nan’an raised an eyebrow slightly.
He didn’t know Yan Jie had joined the show for him.
“I didn’t think much about it at the time, just felt that being friends with someone like you would definitely be fun. You were spirited in your speech and as a person. But after getting to know you, I found that you were also very endearing.”
“What?”
“At first I thought you were like a pampered little prince, just showing your face on the show for fun, but later I found that wasn’t the case. You were genuinely serious about the game and the competition. Later, when you became the team captain, you did a great job. When Fire wouldn’t listen, you wouldn’t let me handle it, but used your own way to train the kid to be obedient. I really admired you then.
“Later, I discovered you were a bit different from others. How should I put it? When others make sarcastic remarks, they might be deliberately trying to embarrass someone, but you were genuinely just like that in character, saying whatever came to mind, not knowing if what you said or did was appropriate, and not caring what others thought. You also had your own set of principles, so I was curious about what was going on in that head of yours.
“So I kept getting closer, wanting to understand you a bit more, and before I knew it, I was already caught.”
Yan Jie stroked Jiang Nan’an’s face with his fingertips:
“So I truly like you as a person, baby. My interest in you might have been partly because you look good, but my love for you isn’t just that. Not just your face, but your personality, your way of speaking and handling things, I like all of it.”
“…No one has ever told me these things.” Jiang Nan’an lowered his eyes.
“Well, if someone had, that would be troublesome, as I wouldn’t be in the running.” Yan Jie joked.
“Perhaps it’s because your preferences are quite unique. I’m not easy to get along with, nor easy to approach, am I?”
“That only means those people’s personalities might not be suitable for interacting with you, but this doesn’t conflict with the fact that you’re wonderful and deserving of anyone’s affection, baby. Because of your special profession, Sister Hong has to consider public opinion, so she makes you suppress your true self and replace it with a version that’s more easily accepted by most people. This isn’t denying you, not saying that Jiang Nan’an himself isn’t good. If Jiang Nan’an wasn’t good, then why would Director Wei, Sister Hong, Xiao Sun, and me all be willing to be good to you, right?”
“…” Jiang Nan’an didn’t respond, probably thinking about Yan Jie’s words.
After a pause, Yan Jie continued:
“Actually, I’ve always wanted to ask, apart from acting, do you know what you like, what you want, Nan Nan?”
“…”
“You don’t know, right? You eat whatever is given to you, you read without being selective, and you wear clothes according to what your assistant and stylists require. But if I asked you what Zhuge Wenyun likes, or what Gu Qingze wants, you would definitely be able to answer.”
Yan Jie’s voice was very low, in the quiet room, sounding like gentle guidance and comfort:
“You’ve played too many ‘other people’ over these years, forgetting to take a good look at yourself. But by my side, you can be the complete Jiang Nan’an. You can tell me whatever you want or like, wherever you want to go, I’ll take you there, whatever you want to do, I’ll accompany you. This is love, Nan Nan.”
“…”
Jiang Nan’an didn’t speak.
He buried himself deeper in Yan Jie’s neck and closed his eyes.
–
Lin Disheng’s initial exposé caused quite a stir online for several days, with very negative effects. Therefore, when Lin Disheng was later arrested, the police specially issued an announcement, which Jiang Nan’an’s studio immediately reposted, bringing a conclusion to this farce.
Jiang Nan’an and Yan Jie stayed in Beijing for a while. After returning to Shanghai, Qi Hong arranged several meetings with him at the company, ultimately deciding to schedule a livestream for him, as a direct response to the recent turmoil.
The livestream was set for Sunday morning. Even before it officially began, a large wave of people were already waiting in the livestream room. Among them were Jiang Nan’an’s fans, and of course, also those looking for entertainment.
Yan Jie used an alternate account to become a moderator in the livestream room, working with Xiao Sun to monitor the comments. They would remove anyone who posted unfriendly remarks, vowing not to let any negative comments affect Jiang Nan’an’s mood.
Regarding the matters related to Lin Disheng, the super topic’s major fans had already made multiple timelines and clarifications. With Lin Disheng’s arrest and the charges against him, Jiang Nan’an’s background and experiences were no longer a secret. Even the most malicious people wouldn’t attack him with such matters at this time.
Therefore, the audience in this livestream was more empathetic toward him, and their questions focused on other matters.
“I was sick before, nothing serious, I’m better now. Thank you.”
Jiang Nan’an wasn’t wearing makeup today, just casually ran his hands through his hair a couple of times, and was dressed simply, looking very clean.
He looked at the comments in the livestream room, picking out questions to answer.
“I’ve never been a model, never attended school, not from Shanghai, the encyclopedia isn’t accurate. Can I read? Yes, I can’t read, I’m now searching for questions in the void, I can’t really understand scripts either, on set the director performs once and I copy, with a stand-in beside me saying my lines while I just move my mouth…”
Halfway through speaking, Jiang Nan’an received a glare from Qi Hong and immediately stopped:
“I can read. I was just joking earlier. Sorry.”
Jiang Nan’an promptly apologized, then looked at the comments, which were filled with “hahaha.”
He raised his eyebrows in confusion:
“What’s so funny?”
[aaa so cute, so this is what your personality is like, so before it was all a persona, right???]
Cute?
Jiang Nan’an didn’t understand why they would use such a word to describe him.
“Before… it was a persona. What persona? Usually Gu Qingze.”
“Mm, now it’s Jiang Nan’an.”
“Later? Later… it will all be Jiang Nan’an, I suppose.”
“Why? Because my manager said since the pot is already broken… because she said to be my authentic self.”
“Original name? Not Lin Shu, called A-Shu, not surnamed Lin, not surnamed A, no surname, just called A-Shu.”
“How are you feeling?”
Seeing this question, Jiang Nan’an thought for a moment before answering:
“Not good before, better now.”
“Why?… Because someone said some things to me.”
“What did they say… said I’m very good.”
“Who? It’s…”
“Ahem!!”
Qi Hong, Xiao Sun, and Yan Jie achieved rare synchronization at this moment, with coughs rising one after another, interrupting Jiang Nan’an’s words.
Jiang Nan’an was slightly taken aback, then gently lowered his eyes, the corners of his lips seeming to curve upward slightly, like a subtle smile.
“It’s an important person.”
Xiao Sun frowned deeply, glaring fiercely at Yan Jie.
Yan Jie suppressed his wildly rising smile, covering his mouth with feigned solemnity as he kicked out a basketful of disruptive comments from the livestream room.
“What are your plans next…”
Finally, a question touched on today’s focus, and Jiang Nan’an thought for a moment before answering:
“No specific plans, I’ve discussed with the company, and I’ll be taking a break from work for a while.”
The prairie dog screams in the comments turned into a string of question marks. Jiang Nan’an nodded:
“Yes, I won’t be joining any productions for now. No, it’s not because of public opinion, it has nothing to do with recent events. Why…”
This pause was especially long.
Finally, Jiang Nan’an lowered his eyes and answered:
“Because I’ve always been living other people’s lives, playing other people, this time…”
He looked up at Yan Jie, meeting his gentle, encouraging gaze.
Eight years ago, he was A-Shu, step by step walking out from the mountain valley, transforming himself into Jiang Nan’an, yet often living within the personas of other characters, to the point where he couldn’t distinguish between primary and secondary, making himself increasingly marginalized, increasingly lightweight.
Many people knew his name, but in their eyes, he was Gu Qingze, Zhuge Wenyun, various different characters, but never himself.
But finally one day, someone saw his true soul, picked out the real him from a pile of false labels and symbols, said he was good, said they loved him.
He loved the prickly, unapproachable him, loved the once broken and scarred him, loved the complete him.
Sincerely loved all of him-the parts he thought would be despised, would disappoint others.
Jiang Nan’an didn’t understand what love meant.
But that person said, the premise of loving others and being loved is to first wholeheartedly accept and love your true self.
If he couldn’t find himself, then let him hold his hand, accompany him, and get to know himself again from the beginning.
Accept his flaws and past, face his strengths and future.
Whether the resilient A-Shu or the brave Jiang Nan’an, no matter which period of his life, he deserved the best love.
Jiang Nan’an paused for a moment, then smiled.
He looked away, then faced the camera calmly, for the first time using his own posture and manner to sincerely tell all those who loved him:
“…This time, I want to be Jiang Nan’an.”
#
[End of Main Text]
T/N: Extras on the wayyyy~
![After losing all his wealth, the ancestor rose from his coffin [BL]](https://www.freenovels.net/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Your-paragraph-text-1.png "After losing all his wealth, the ancestor rose from his coffin [BL]")
