Shi Qi opened his eyes.
His fingers unconsciously curled, as if trying to hold onto something.
“Hug me, Shi Qi.”
Those words felt like a spell, a slow pain spreading from his chest, mixed with sorrow and heartache pressing down overwhelmingly.
He finally remembered that Shang Sui had once revealed his greatest secret to him.
The other looked at him uneasily, afraid that his innate ability would disgust him.
By the time Shi Qi became aware again, he had already opened his arms without thinking.
“So amazing, but…”
He was astonished and hugged Shang Sui tightly. “Hugging you isn’t because of mental control. I wanted to hug you in the first place.”
The Alpha, who was much taller than him, froze on the spot without moving. After a while, he slowly reached out his hands and cautiously hugged him back.
The hug lasted a long time. He couldn’t see Shang Sui’s face, only remembered the light on the bedside table glowing like scattered mist.
To this day, he clearly remembered that glass-and-brass lamp was shaped like a lily of the valley, with lustrous petals shining brilliantly.
After a while, a slight warmth and dampness suddenly came from his arm.
The tears fell quietly on his skin, like melting fine snow.
Shi Qi asked blankly, “Shang Sui, are you crying?”
…
Shi Qi covered his eyes with the back of his hand.
Was Shang Sui still controlling him mentally?
Otherwise, why after so many years did his heart still ache with that dull pain?
His eyes felt sore, and the tip of his nose was tinged with red. When he went downstairs, Jiang Youning called out to him excitedly, “Xiao Qi! I have something for you—”
Jiang Youning suddenly raised her voice. “Who bullied you?!”
“It’s nothing, I just had a dream.” Shi Qi’s voice sounded a little muffled. “What do you want to give me?”
Jiang Youning looked at him suspiciously. After thinking about it, she remembered that Shi Qi was not the type to keep silent when wronged, so she relaxed and said, “Your old diary. I accidentally packed it into my suitcase when I was sorting the photo albums. And there’s a package from the capital, sent from the Ningshan Art Museum.”
“Art museum?”
“It’s a big one, looks like a painting,” Jiang Youning said. “The art exhibition we saw before was held in Ningshan. Ask Shang Sui? He might know.”
Taking these two things from Jiang Youning, Shi Qi first glanced at the blue notebook with yellow patterns, confirming that it was his diary from when he was fourteen or fifteen.
He had taken this diary to Qijiang at that time, and in order to recover his memories, he had flipped through it many times, but had never gained anything from it.
Shi Qi’s attention was entirely on the package, and he temporarily put the diary aside.
The painting was packed in a custom-made carton, wrapped very securely. He removed layers of protective foam inside and out, and after peeling off the final layer of acid-free glassine paper, layers of bright and dark colors came into view.
An angel landed on the windowsill, while a monster hid in the corner of the room, peeking out.
When they visited the exhibition, seeing that he liked this painting, Shang Sui had said he could give it to him.
Just like back then, a strange feeling surged in his heart, as if this painting was something that should have belonged to him.
The pure white marble balcony, the pale grass-colored curtains, the aged pink walls…
The more Shi Qi looked at it, the more familiar it felt, and corresponding scenes uncontrollably surfaced in his mind.
When he was a teenager, he sat on the balcony, watching Shang Sui paint.
The angel was bathed in a holy halo, wings spread wide, descending onto the balcony like a miracle.
Its facial features were blurred, with no clear face, yet it did not diminish its dazzling beauty in the slightest.
As for the other thing…
“What is this thing?” Shi Qi looked at the irregular geometric shape in the painting. Fluorescent-colored, filthy blood flowed out of its body, making that monstrous figure seem to be screaming. “So ugly.”
“…”
“What is it?”
“I originally wanted to give it to you.” Shang Sui said softly. “If you don’t like it, then forget it.”
“Wait!” Shi Qi changed his words. “Actually it’s not ugly. It looks very unique. At least I’d remember it with just one glance.”
Shang Sui hummed. “It’s good for warding off evil.”
Shi Qi fell silent for three seconds, then reached out to grab the hem of his clothes.
Sometimes he used this tactic to ask Jiang Youning for things as well, so he didn’t think much about it and shook his hand like a spoiled child. “Give it to me, gege, I want your painting.”
Shang Sui’s hand trembled, and the paintbrush fell to the ground with a crisp sound.
Shi Qi kindly reminded him, “Your brush fell.”
Seeing Shang Sui remain motionless, he asked curiously, “Why are you blushing?”
Shang Sui came back to his senses, his expression unreadable. “You really are…”
Shi Qi belatedly realized that his gesture seemed too ambiguous, and he quickly withdrew his hand, his ears starting to burn.
His gaze darted around and landed back on the painting.
After noticing that the balcony, curtains, and wall colors all matched reality, he asked hesitantly, “Is this you, then… is the angel me?”
Though he had always been used to others praising him, he couldn’t help feeling that Shang Sui was exaggerating.
“Why do you like to make yourself ugly and only paint me beautifully?”
Shang Sui said softly, “That’s just how it is.”
Knowing who the “monster” in the painting was, the more Shi Qi looked at it, the more pleasing to the eye it became. Its hideous appearance seemed clumsy and cute.
“It’s settled. This painting is mine.” He curved his eyes into a smile. “I’ll trade you something for it.”
The next evening, Shang Sui received a painting.
That doodle-like sketch was deliberately placed on the easel, covering his painting, like a little cat proudly stamping down its paw print.
Shi Qi hid in the corner of the balcony, observing his reaction, and after a long time, he saw a smile appear in Shang Sui’s eyes as he carefully put the doodle away.
Shi Qi wanted to know exactly what he had drawn, but the flashback in his mind stopped abruptly.
Shi Qi came back to his senses from his memories and subconsciously shook his head slightly.
The painting he had given away… where would Shang Sui have placed it?
The thought that Shang Sui had deliberately mailed the oil painting to him made Shi Qi feel something, and he turned the painting over.
The wooden backboard of the frame was fixed with four metal strips. Shi Qi found a cross-head screwdriver and unscrewed them one by one.
Afraid of damaging the painting, he lifted the backboard carefully, and a thin sketch paper slipped out from inside. It had been preserved very well. Even after six years, its edges showed no yellowing.
As expected, it was here.
Shi Qi picked it up with complicated feelings, and his gaze froze.
It was a colorful crayon doodle with very childish lines. The artist had clearly tried their best to recreate the oil painting’s scene.
There were two people in the drawing.
One of them had something on their back that looked like freshly fried chicken, which Shi Qi figured might be angel wings, while the other was wearing a crown.
Both stick figures had deliberately drawn smiling faces, looking very happy.
At the bottom of the drawing was a line of smooth handwriting. Compared to the childish doodle, the elegant and beautiful script looked like decoration. Shi Qi recognized it as his own handwriting at a glance.
[This is my drawing, to trade with yours.]
[During the Lantern Festival, my wish was for you to live a little more easily. You always seemed unhappy.
But now I know, if someone has been through those things, no one can be happy every day. You’re already amazing, you’ve done really, really well.
That day when I accidentally ran into your house, it felt like a fairy tale.
To me, you’re not a monster, you’re a beautiful prince.]
The tears that had not fallen finally could no longer be held back, and after dripping down, they wet the edge of the paper.
“Xiao Qi, I heard from Jiang Youning that you’re in your room—”
A familiar voice came from the doorway. Shi Qi hadn’t locked the door. Shang Sui knocked tentatively, then pushed the door open and entered.
He saw Shi Qi sitting by the bay window, with the dismantled frame placed beside him. The wind lifted the pure white curtains, blurring Shi Qi’s expression.
Shang Sui suddenly stopped in his tracks.
“Six years ago, you came to see me one last time.” Shi Qi raised his head, and only then did Shang Sui see the tears in his eyes. “Didn’t you?”
Three months ago, after the dance competition, Shang Sui had also given him a painting, jokingly telling him not to throw it away.
At the time, he thought it was just a casual remark, but he never realized it had actually been a request he hadn’t dared to speak clearly.
This painting depicting the angel and the monster had, after many twists and turns, returned to Shang Sui’s hands, proving that he had once come looking for him.
On the night of his differentiation, his family had hurriedly sent him to the hospital, and the next day they returned to the capital. During that time, he had been unconscious, so naturally, no one knew that the painting was a gift from Shang Sui.
The ending six years ago wasn’t simply a matter of calls that couldn’t go through. After his rut ended, Shang Sui discovered that their rented house was empty, with only a painting left behind, and only then did he feel completely disheartened and choose not to disturb him again.
That day was only half a month after Shang Sui had told him the secret about his mental manipulation.
At that time, Shang Sui must have thought he had thrown away the painting and abandoned him as well.
“Didn’t you resent me then?” Shi Qi’s thoughts were in chaos, and he blurted out, “You told me your secret, but I wasn’t there for you from beginning to end. Didn’t you think I wasn’t brave enough, not determined enough?”
Unlike before, for a moment, he would rather Shang Sui had been disappointed in him.
Rather than seeing him as a savior and still feeling grateful even after their separation.
“Of course not,” Shang Sui immediately denied it. “You were so good, just meeting you was something I should be grateful for. How could I possibly resent you?”
“Whether it was the hug you gave me or the words you wrote on the painting, to me they were unique treasures.”
“It was with them and the memories related to you that I managed to move forward step by step. From the first day we met, you always treated me like a normal person. You probably don’t know how important that was to me.” He walked up to Shi Qi and gently wiped away part of his tears with his fingertips, brushing against his damp cheek. “Among all the people I’ve met, no one is braver than you.”
“You’ve always chosen me. Even though I learned about this six years late, it’s not late at all.” Shang Sui cupped his face with both hands. “I never got the chance to say this before, but knowing that you never abandoned me, I’m really, really happy.”
Their gazes fused together, words full of intimacy, the familiar warmth of touching skin.
It felt like he was back to the night Shang Sui had revealed his secret to him, with the lily of the valley-shaped brass lamp glowing softly as they leaned against each other.
“Of course I wouldn’t abandon you,” Shi Qi said in a muffled voice, “You’re also my most special friend.”
Thinking of last night’s dream, Shi Qi asked the question that worried him most, “On the rainy days after that, how did you get through them? Did you still see that person?”
Realizing they had the same dream last night, Shang Sui felt a moment of unreality.
Coming back to his senses, he looked into Shi Qi’s clear eyes. “After that summer, I never saw him again.”
He had confessed his unbearable past to Shi Qi, and after an intimate embrace, his scars had miraculously healed.
The curse that lingered in his ears on stormy days had disappeared, and he never saw Zeng Yu again.
“Really?” Shi Qi murmured, “That’s great.”
He did not know how to express what he felt at this moment, and he couldn’t help but repeat, “This is great.”
As he spoke, Shi Qi’s tears fell uncontrollably, and he cried so hard that his cheeks turned red.
Shang Sui opened his arms and gently pulled him into his embrace.
Shi Qi sobbed as he leaned into him, instinctively burying his head in Shang Sui’s neck. The familiar embrace and scent brought him an unparalleled sense of security; his fingers tightened involuntarily, gripping Shang Sui’s shoulders hard.
“Why are you crying like this?” Shang Sui said softly, “You look like a little kitten.”
Shi Qi lifted his head, tears blurred his vision, making him unable to see Shang Sui’s expression clearly for the moment.
“Why aren’t you crying?” Shi Qi ordered harshly, “Stop laughing around, and cry too.”
Shang Sui fell silent for a moment and blinked.
He must have been trying to muster up tears, but he couldn’t control it, and in the end, he actually started to laugh.
“?”
Shi Qi’s fingers itched, and for a moment, he wanted to punch him.
Shang Sui laughed and pressed his forehead against his, his voice sounding like a dream. “What should I do? I can’t cry.”
“The moment I think about us being together now, everything in the past becomes unimportant. Being able to reunite with you, seeing you cry for me, I just feel so happy.”
Shang Sui spoke from his heart. “I’m so happy, I feel like I’m about to be punished by the heavens.”
Shi Qi had never seen someone curse themselves before. A few sharp replies almost slipped out, but in the end, he only said helplessly, “Are you an idiot? Don’t let your mind wander.”
He could guess what Shang Sui was thinking.
When people felt the happiest and most blissful, they couldn’t help but worry about losing it.
“Okay,” Shang Sui replied with a smile, “Since God Qi has delivered a divine decree, I’ll obey.”
“……”
Shi Qi was interrupted by him, and much of his sadness dissipated.
Shang Sui, perceptive as always, handed him a tissue and gently wiped away his tears. Shi Qi’s mood eased a little, and he remembered that Shang Sui had said earlier that the story he told six years ago was incomplete.
“What was the second half of the story?”
“The second half of the story…” Shang Sui recalled, “After what happened with Zeng Yu, I developed some minor psychological problems and became quiet and withdrawn.”
“Before the official investigation results came out, the regulatory agency for the special rut had been monitoring me, and they were not friendly.”
At that time, he often visited the psychiatry department of Ningshan Hospital, and staff from the regulatory agency followed him from a distance twenty-four hours a day. Once, when Shang Sui unintentionally passed by the garden, he heard them talking behind his back.
“Do the police really need so long to investigate? I’m so sick of guarding him every day.”
“There aren’t many good things about the special rut. I heard he’s different from normal people and can control others.”
“Are you making up stories? Where does such a magical ability come from? But that kid is gloomy, his eyes look exactly like a murderer’s.”
“Shh! Keep your voice down, his surname is Shang.”
“After all this time, maybe his family is trying to clear his name and, once they’ve pulled some strings, they’ll find someone else to take the blame.”
They spoke with such certainty, and their various speculations were endless. Compared to anger, what he felt more was numbness.
Shang Sui was about to leave when a stern female voice suddenly sounded, “As staff sent by the regulatory agency, your views on the special rut are not fair. Speaking privately about those under surveillance and questioning the police has already constituted a violation of work discipline.”
That female detective was the second-in-command of the major crimes unit at the time, Shang Sui had only met her once and vaguely remembered that she acted swiftly and decisively.
“I’ve written down both of your names.” The female detective’s gaze swept over their badges one by one, and she said lightly, “I will report this to the agency.”
Several staff members were so frightened that they kept apologising, but she left without looking back.
Shang Sui hesitated for a moment and chose to follow her. When they turned a corner, the female detective slowed her pace to wait for him to catch up.
Shang Sui thanked her, “Thank you for just now.”
“You’re welcome.” She considered for a moment and said tactfully, “The investigation is coming to an end. If you are innocent, the police will clear your name. After that, the regulatory agency will no longer be able to monitor you, and what happened today will not happen again.”
“She was really kind.” Hearing this, Shi Qi felt full of gratitude towards that female detective.
Shang Sui nodded, “I was too numb at the time. Thinking back later, I was very grateful to her. She was one of the few people who showed me kindness during that matter.”
“She said in the end, that going through all this must have been painful, but as long as I stayed alive, maybe one day I would be able to let it go.”
“It could be a moment, a thing, or a person. When I realised it, it had already happened naturally. The chance to let go is hard to predict, like fate.”
Shi Qi felt a sudden clarity in his heart, and he heard Shang Sui continue, “I used to think I’d never get that chance. I wasn’t lucky enough. How could something this good ever happen to me?”
He smiled at Shi Qi. “The second half of the story was actually my confession.”
Six years ago, he sensed that Shi Qi’s arrival was not ordinary, and as year after year passed, he was finally able to be sure that Shi Qi was that fateful chance.
“I hated summer and thunderstorms. They would remind me of that basement.”
“But because I met you in the summer, I started to have a romantic impression of this season. I never went back to that dark and damp basement.”
“You saved me, so I will always be your friend.”
“No matter what happens, it will always be the same.”
Author’s note:
Finally, I reached this part. Looking back at my notes, the last confession was written on January 18th.
In this book, 2s helps 17 heal the glandular degeneration, while 17 helps 2s walk out of the past. Their story is one of mutual healing and a pure, beautiful love.
At first, I really didn’t think this book would be so long; I thought it would be a short piece finished in a month. As I kept writing, it seemed like the characters developed their own consciousness, and it unknowingly became so long.
Thank you everyone for accompanying me to this point.
AWWW THIS IS SO SWEET