It was like a bolt of lightning from a clear sky, striking all around Lin Yi. Her insides quaked and shifted, then settled back down, leaving her completely unharmed but utterly stunned.
Her lips moved, wanting to say something, but no words came out.
This was beyond her comprehension.
What had Xu Shuyan said? Her thoughts were a jumbled mess. Had she misheard? Was it a hallucination brought on by too much stress, or had she misunderstood Xu Shuyan’s meaning?
Xu Shuyan had said… she said… she was—
“Yes, I was sober.” As if to corroborate the truth, Xu Shuyan said it again.
This time, she heard it clearly. There was no room for excuses. Xu Shuyan had told her, plain as day, that she was the only one who had been drunk that night. Xu Shuyan had been sober. Sober when she kissed her, sober when she left marks on her body, sober when they slept together.
Before she could process it, Lin Yi was merely stunned. After she processed it, she was utterly and completely dumbfounded.
She blinked, looking at Xu Shuyan in a daze, her voice trembling. “Wh-why?”
She was like a wildflower blooming in a field, suddenly uprooted—leaves, stem, and all—and replanted in a tiny pot. She didn’t blame the person who did it; she just trembled, brushing her small bud against the back of their hand, asking why.
—Why? I prefer the wide-open fields. Why confine me to this tiny space?
Because I like you.
Xu Shuyan’s lips twitched into a slight smile. She felt like she was going crazy. She adored this side of Lin Yi—so innocent and clueless it stirred a destructive urge within her, a desire to rip the bloody truth open right before her eyes, just to watch her shatter in that one instant.
She hadn’t wanted to.
Why couldn’t Lin Yi just listen? she thought. Why did she have to show concern? Why did she have to act like she cared so much, letting hope blossom inside her, making her think that Lin Yi cared for her, liked her, and that bringing up that night on an impulse had been the right thing to do?
But why? Why, after she had laid her heart bare, did Lin Yi have that expression on her face?
Xu Shuyan lowered her gaze.
Seeing the way Lin Yi’s fingers trembled in her lap, she cruelly piled onto that vulnerability. “Because I like you. What other reason could there be?”
“Don’t ask me when it started. I don’t know either.”
“…I didn’t want this either.” Her gaze shifted from Lin Yi’s fingertips to her face. She clutched the blanket, her knuckles white from the force, and the rims of her eyes reddened. “I didn’t want this either, but you’re in my heart and you won’t leave. What am I supposed to do?”
She threw the question back at Lin Yi. “You tell me, Lin Yi. You tell me. What am I supposed to do?”
Tears streamed down her face.
They pattered onto the pillow, soaking it.
Xu Shuyan’s words drilled into Lin Yi’s mind like a torrential downpour—crashing and reckless, yet direct and fervent. She was stunned for a long moment before she even realized Xu Shuyan was crying.
She rarely saw Xu Shuyan cry. Xu Shuyan was always so cool and aloof; even when she cried, it was with restraint and composure.
Never like this.
This is insane, she thought. The whole world has gone insane. She’d thought sleeping with her love rival of three years after a drunken night was crazy enough, but she never imagined something even crazier was waiting for her.
Xu Shuyan actually liked her?!
And it started long before they slept together?!
When had it started? Lin Yi frantically searched her memories, scenes from the compilation video she’d watched last night flashing through her mind. Was it that concert during the summer tour? The one-day special? After Chen Yuan’s relationship was exposed? Or even earlier, during “No. 89757”?
If Xu Shuyan didn’t even know, there was no way she could figure it out.
She felt like her head was going to explode. The buzzing was even more chaotic than when she’d found out about Chen Yuan’s relationship. Catching sight of Xu Shuyan’s silent tears out of the corner of her eye made her even more unsettled. She reached out to wipe them away. “Don’t cry.”
The pad of her finger touched a warm tear, and she quickly pulled her hand back. She repeated unconsciously, “Don’t cry.”
She was freaking out inside. Xu Shuyan’s crying was throwing her into a complete panic!
It wasn’t as if she’d never been confessed to before. She’d always rejected them, directly and decisively, mentally patting herself on the back for another day of saving herself for Yuanyuan. But now? Her crush was gone, and the love rival she’d slept with was confessing to her. How in the world was she supposed to have experience dealing with a situation like this?!
“I…”
“The doctor said you’re mostly fine.” The door to the room suddenly swung open, and Sister Fang bustled in. Then she remembered Xu Shuyan was supposed to be sleeping and quickly hushed herself, only for her eyes to widen at the scene before her. “Lin Yi, what is going on?” she exclaimed.
Lin Yi was taken aback. “Huh? What do you mean, what’s going on?”
“Why is Yanyan crying? Did you bully her again?” Sister Fang came closer. “Oh, my poor Yanyan. You fainted and you’re on an IV, and she still comes here to pick a fight with you?!”
Lin Yi: “…”
She was being framed! This was a terrible injustice!
She glared at Xu Shuyan, only to see the other girl’s eyes flicker before she slowly lowered her tear-filled gaze, her voice weak. “It has nothing to do with Xiao Yi.”
“Really?” Sister Fang was skeptical. “Somehow, I just don’t believe that.”
“Don’t you go making baseless accusations!” Lin Yi protested. “You think I have nothing better to do than sneak over here just to upset Xu Shuyan? She already said it wasn’t me, and you’re still suspecting me. I’m hurt!”
As she spoke, Lin Yi guiltily snuck a glance at Xu Shuyan.
She was so terrible, she thought. When she really thought about it, she was the reason Xu Shuyan was crying. But Xu Shuyan was covering for her, helping her lie to smooth things over. And she was just going along with it, quickly adapting to the fact that Xu Shuyan liked her and even starting to act with impunity, counting on Xu Shuyan to indulge her.
Sure enough, Xu Shuyan didn’t expose her. She just murmured in agreement, “Sister, don’t give her a hard time.”
Sister Fang let out an exaggerated gasp. “Me, give her a hard time? She’s the one I have to answer to, okay! I told her I’d message her if anything happened with you, but what does she do? She actually sneaks over to the hospital! If you two get photographed, how are you ever going to uncouple?”
“That’s not it!” Lin Yi tried to explain weakly. “It’s not… I…”
What could she say?
She couldn’t very well say she’d come to see if Xu Shuyan was dead or not, could she?
Back when Xu Shuyan didn’t like her, she would have just said it. But saying it now would be too cruel. She knew what it was like to have a crush; the thought of the person you liked speaking to you so harshly was enough to break your heart.
Putting herself in the other’s shoes, she didn’t want to break Xu Shuyan’s heart.
“What about you?” Sister Fang shot her an annoyed look before turning to Xu Shuyan. “Post something on Weibo later to let everyone know you’re okay. A video, a photo, some text—anything works. Just put the fans’ minds at ease.”
Xu Shuyan replied obediently, “Okay.”
After a pause, she added, “Xiao Yi was just worried about me. Stop scolding her.”
Sister Fang shivered, shaking off a wave of goosebumps. “Did Xiao Yi move you to tears or something? You’re usually much better at picking on her than I am.” She poked Lin Yi in the side. “You’re coming back with me in a bit.”
Lin Yi asked, “Then what about Xu Shuyan?”
Sister Fang was messaging her assistant as she spoke. “We’ll have professionals come take care of her. You’re just making things more complicated by being here. If you get spotted, the CP fans will lose their minds.”
Lin Yi thought to herself that she wouldn’t be making things complicated at all. Xu Shuyan liked her; having her here would be a hundred times better than having anyone else.
But then she remembered this was all one-sided on Xu Shuyan’s part. If she were actually left alone with her, she wouldn’t know how to act. So she shot to her feet. “Okay, let’s go right now.”
After saying that, she glanced instinctively at Xu Shuyan.
Sure enough, now that the confession was out, Xu Shuyan wasn’t pretending anymore. Seeing how eager Lin Yi was to leave, the disappointment in her eyes was undisguised, making Lin Yi’s heart ache. Don’t look so hurt! Ahhh! You’ll make me feel guilty!
No! She couldn’t feel guilty!
Lin Yi quickly straightened out her thoughts and looked at Sister Fang with more resolve. “I’m ready.”
Sister Fang gave her a strange look. “Don’t be in such a rush.”
Lin Yi nodded earnestly. “Okay!”
She was determined not to look at Xu Shuyan, to resist the attack of those sad puppy-dog eyes!
But they couldn’t leave right away. Sister Fang was looking down at her phone, messaging instructions to her assistant. The room suddenly fell silent, with only the soft sound of the IV drip. Xu Shuyan watched Lin Yi openly as she stood as still as a soldier, her gaze traveling from the clean lines of her profile to the long, pale hand hanging at her side.
Lin Yi knew she was being watched. She pretended to be calm, but in reality, her hands were trembling with nerves.
Xu Shuyan lowered her head, unable to suppress a smile.
So cute,
she thought.
News of Lin Yi’s hospital visit leaked.
According to the operations team, the rumor had originated on an anonymous forum. The CP fans hadn’t paid it much mind at first, but then someone posted a photo. It was blurry, but the time and place were undeniable—it was Lin Yi, visiting Xu Shuyan at the hospital.
[Lin Yi wore this exact outfit to work today. It’s her! Damn! She must have been worried about her wife!]
[And Lin Yi’s been so busy lately, setting up her studio and everything. She has so much going on, but she still snuck away to see her wife. This is true love, no doubt about it.]
[And she went in secret! Aren’t they saying Yan Zhi You Yi is just an official ship? Just fan service? Wouldn’t this have been the perfect opportunity to go openly? The fact that she was so sneaky about it proves something’s going on!]
[OMG! There’s a real couple in the Gu Group! An intra-group romance… my world is collapsing!]
[What is wrong with you CP fans? All that sugar has rotted your brains.]
[Solo fans, stop being so stubborn. Don’t you get it? The person in this world who loves Xu Shuyan the most isn’t you, it’s Lin Yi! Please be a little more tolerant of your fellow stan!]
Sister Fang read through the comments from the operations team, smiling and nodding. “Good. Very good. Let them enjoy it for now.”
Then she thought back to how anxious Lin Yi had seemed today, and the atmosphere between her and Xu Shuyan when she’d burst into the hospital room. Her vision suddenly went dark.
She knew it. The uncoupling plan had to be put into motion immediately, both on and off camera. Otherwise—
They really would end up developing feelings for each other!
While Sister Fang was furiously drafting a ten-page uncoupling plan, Lin Yi was in the break room, completely unable to focus on any of the proposals in front of her. Her mind was stuck on a loop: Xu Shuyan likes me, Xu Shuyan likes me, Xu Shuyan likes me…
Finally, she buried her face in her hands and wailed, “How could she possibly like me?!”
“Who likes you?” Yan Qi’s voice came from the doorway, devoid of inflection. She didn’t wait for the startled Lin Yi to answer, getting straight to the point. “Why didn’t you reply to Shichen’s message?”
Lin Yi let out a little gasp and finally remembered to look for her phone. “I didn’t see it.”
“Are you okay?” Yan Qi came in. Only then did Lin Yi notice she was holding a cup of coffee. Seeing Lin Yi’s gaze, she held it out. “I bought this for you.”
Lin Yi took it, pleasantly surprised. “Thanks, Captain.”
Yan Qi patted her arm. “Don’t worry too much. I asked around. Yanyan just had a sudden drop in blood sugar. She’ll be fine after a glucose drip.”
It took Lin Yi a moment to realize what Yan Qi was implying. “I’m not—”
Yan Qi just shook her head silently, as if to say she didn’t need to put on a brave face for her captain. Lin Yi opened her mouth, then helplessly swallowed her protest.
Forget it, she thought. No matter what she said, Yan Qi had clearly been infected by Zhou Shichen’s severe case of CP-brain. She was a lost cause!
She took a sip of her coffee.
Then she asked, “Did Yanyan post on Weibo yet?”
Yan Qi nodded. “She did. Most of the fans have calmed down, though a small number are demanding that the company schedule its artists’ work hours more reasonably and stop overworking them.”
She sounded puzzled. “I remember Yanyan’s cold wasn’t that bad last night, and she went to bed pretty early.”
Lin Yi had thought the same thing. Logically, Xu Shuyan had gotten plenty of sleep. Even if her cold was bad and she’d barely eaten that morning, she was in good enough shape that she shouldn’t have fainted.
But now, thinking about it… after Xu Shuyan moved downstairs, could she have been up all night thinking about her?
…How pitiful.
“Maybe she didn’t sleep well because of her cold,” Yan Qi concluded on her own. “And she has trouble sleeping in unfamiliar beds sometimes. She probably didn’t sleep well after moving.”
Lin Yi thought Yan Qi had a point. “I told Xu Shuyan I’d move into Yuanyuan’s room,” she said indignantly, “but she wouldn’t let me!”
Yan Qi asked, “Do you two have to sleep in separate rooms?”
Separate rooms?
What a strange phrase.
But Lin Yi couldn’t quite put her finger on why it sounded so strange. “Well,” she said, “otherwise that room would just be empty. It’s such a waste.”
Yan Qi asked again, “Then shouldn’t the four of us decide that together?”
Lin Yi: “?”
Yan Qi said seriously, “Shichen and I want our own rooms, too.”
Lin Yi: “??”
She leaned back. “Captain.”
Yan Qi replied calmly, “Yes?”
Lin Yi set her coffee on the table and grabbed Yan Qi’s shoulders. “You’re a terrible liar. Look, your ears are all red.”
Yan Qi: “…”
She blinked rapidly. “I’m not lying.”
Lin Yi said, “Do you want me to get you a mirror?”
“…” Yan Qi nodded slightly and turned her head away, looking exasperated. “I told you we’d never be able to fool Xiao Yi, but you wouldn’t listen. You come in and talk to her yourself.”
After two seconds of silence from outside, Zhou Shichen’s head peeked around the doorframe.
Her bangs were tied up in a cute, bobbing apple hairstyle, and she wore a sycophantic smile. “Oh, Xiao Yi, what are you doing here? What a coincidence! Captain, I need to talk to you about something. Come out for a second.”
Yan Qi didn’t move. “She’s already seen through it.”
Zhou Shichen: “…Oh.”
She walked in dejectedly, muttering a complaint to Yan Qi. “Your acting must be terrible. How else could we have failed?”
Lin Yi was losing her mind. “Sis! Zhou Shichen, I’m seriously calling you Sis now! At a time like this, you’re still trying to play matchmaker? If you want a single room that badly, I’ll move in with the Captain and you can have my room, alright?”
“Hey, you’ve got me all wrong!” Zhou Shichen protested. “I’m really doing this for your own good!”
“Our good?”
“After you went to your room yesterday, I was still hungry, so I ordered some takeout and was watching a variety show in the living room while I waited.” Zhou Shichen gestured for Yan Qi to leave, taking her place and pushing the coffee back into Lin Yi’s hands. “And then I ran into Yanyan.”
Lin Yi asked, “…And then?”
Zhou Shichen said, “She couldn’t sleep. I think she was having trouble with the unfamiliar bed. I tried to convince her not to be mad at you. I mean, you two have fought before, haven’t you? And you still shared a room. Besides, she’s sick now and needs to get plenty of sleep.”
“What did she say?”
“She said this time was different, and that it was better if you didn’t share a room. Anyway, she looked really pitiful.” Zhou Shichen patted the back of Lin Yi’s hand. “I don’t know what happened between you two, and it’s not my place to meddle, but Yanyan fainted, and you rushed to the hospital. You obviously still care about her. Is there really anything you can’t talk through?”
There was way too much they couldn’t talk through.
Lin Yi grumbled to herself. And now that Xu Shuyan had confessed to her, sharing a room was even more out of the question.
“It’s not meddling when we’re in the same group.” Lin Yi lowered her head and took a sip of her coffee. The added coconut milk made it a mixture of bitter and cloyingly sweet. “If Xu Shuyan can’t get used to sleeping downstairs, I can switch with her,” she said.
“I’m worried she’s just used to sleeping with you…” Zhou Shichen blurted out, then quickly added, “I’m not just saying that for the ship, it’s just a guess. While I was eating my takeout, Yanyan fell asleep on the couch for a bit, using the throw pillow you’d been hugging. It just made me think…”
She said, “It just made me think that Yanyan is pretty reliant on you.”
Lin Yi gave a noncommittal hum.
Reliant on her? Xu Shuyan clearly wanted to sleep with her! That’s what she thought, but she couldn’t stop herself from picturing Xu Shuyan asleep on the couch, her head resting on the pillow Lin Yi had hugged. She would look so docile, and so soft.
So easy to tease.
She lowered her eyes. “I’ll talk to her when she gets back.”
“Okay!” Zhou Shichen pinched her cheek. “Even though you’re opening your own solo studio, we’re still a group. I hope there won’t be any bad blood between the four of us, and that we can always continue on together.”
Lin Yi smiled and pinched her back. “I know, I know! Zhou Shichen, the ultimate group stan!”
After Zhou Shichen left, her smile slowly faded. She collapsed onto the sofa, tapped her forehead, and had another mental breakdown. “How could Xu Shuyan possibly like me?!”
Although Xu Shuyan’s Weibo post did a lot to appease the fans, many still cursed out the company, demanding reasonable work hours for their artists. Seeing the public sentiment, Sister Fang told Xu Shuyan to take the week off and rest at home.
“A week?” Xu Shuyan disagreed. “Then am I still going to that gala?”
“You don’t have to worry about that.” Sister Fang walked her to the bedroom. “For the time being, Xiao Yi will go to the company in the afternoons and come home early. You two can use that time to practice your dance.”
Sister Fang glanced around the room. “So you’re staying in Yuanyuan’s room now?”
Watching her assistant hang up her clothes one by one, Xu Shuyan hummed in agreement. “It’s not really appropriate for Lin Yi and me to be living together right now, is it?”
Sister Fang said, “Er… I suppose that’s true.”
“You two need to tone it down when you’re dancing, too,” she added, still worried. “Keep a normal colleague’s distance, you understand? I’m planning to have you two officially uncouple during the interviews at the gala.”
“How are we going to uncouple?” Xu Shuyan asked.
“I’m still thinking about it,” Sister Fang said. “I’ve come up with a few ideas, but none of them are great. If you have any thoughts, you can let me know.”
Xu Shuyan nodded thoughtfully.
Outside, the wind howled, and a drizzling autumn rain fell steadily from the vast sky.
Regarding the stage performance, after discussing it with the organizers, Lin Yi decided they would perform a dance piece without any singing—a pure dance duet.
The choreographer sent the demo to the group chat at two in the morning. Lin Yi, wide awake with insomnia and staring at the ceiling, instinctively replied with an “OK” sticker. The choreographer was surprised. “Teacher Lin, you’re still awake?”
Lin Yi was in the middle of typing a reply when another message popped up in the chat: “Thank you for your hard work, Teacher.”
It was from the group member whose nickname was set to “Normal Teammate.”
…Xu Shuyan was awake, too.
Choreographer: Teacher Xu is also awake?
Normal Teammate: Not yet.
Lin Yi remembered that Xu Shuyan had fainted from lack of sleep, and now here she was, still awake. Was she trying to become an immortal? The more she looked at the messages, the more irritated she became. She tapped open her private chat with Xu Shuyan. “Why are you still awake?”
Xu Shuyan’s reply was quick. “You are too, aren’t you?”
Lin Yi: I’m not sick.
Normal Teammate: .
Normal Teammate: I’m almost better.
Lin Yi: Go to sleep.
Normal Teammate: You’re worried about me.
Lin Yi: I am not!
Normal Teammate: Then don’t worry about whether I’m sleeping or not.
Lin Yi: Who’s worried about you!
She expected Xu Shuyan to fire back a retort, but after waiting for a long time, there was no response. Lin Yi gritted her teeth, sent a sticker of Xu Shuyan, and asked, “Asleep?”
Xu Shuyan replied with another period.
Lin Yi: …
She typed fiercely: Fine, don’t sleep then!
With that, she tossed her phone aside, pulled the covers over her head, and squeezed her eyes shut. The minutes ticked by, but she just tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. Finally, she resigned herself to her fate and threw the covers off.
She scratched her messy hair.
Since I can’t sleep anyway, she thought, and lying here will just make my mind race, I might as well focus on work. I’ll learn this dance before Xu Shuyan and completely blow her out of the water. No sooner said than done. Filled with competitive spirit, she had the entire dance down in less than forty minutes.
By the time she was done, she was sleepy. She flopped onto her bed and slept soundly until morning.
Zhou Shichen had flown to M City the previous night to film a variety show, and the ever-efficient Yan Qi was already up at the crack of dawn, taking her assistant to scout locations for the studio.
When Lin Yi came downstairs, she happened to run into their assistant, who was delivering breakfast.
“You’re up?” The assistant brandished the paper bag in her hand. “Your favorite pan-fried buns, the crab roe kind. When I went to wait in line this morning, wow, the line was so long it nearly stretched out into the street.”
“Wow!” Lin Yi bounded down the last few steps, her eyes sparkling. “How did you have time to wait in line today?”
The assistant blinked.
Lin Yi: “Hmm?”
The assistant confessed, “Teacher Xu gave me money to go wait in line.”
Lin Yi froze for a second. “Xu Shuyan?”
The assistant nodded, then leaned in conspiratorially. “Did Teacher Xu make you mad? She’s already gone this far, you should just forgive her.”
“Whose assistant are you, anyway?!” Lin Yi lightly tapped the assistant on the forehead. “Gone what far? All she did was give you money to wait in line. If she were really sincere, why didn’t she go herself?”
The moment the words were out, she felt a pang of guilt, as if Xu Shuyan really had made her angry and was now trying to make peace.
The assistant rubbed her forehead. Who knows what kind of bribe she’d taken from Xu Shuyan, but she was still muttering under her breath, “Teacher Xu already fainted, and you still want her to go wait in line at the crack of dawn? What kind of grudge do you hold!”
Lin Yi snatched the paper bag from her. “Then go be Xu Shuyan’s assistant!”
“Hey, hey, hey!” The assistant immediately started sucking up. “Exactly! If Teacher Xu made you mad and wants to make it up to you, she should have gone to wait in line herself. Paying someone else to do it isn’t sincere at all!”
Now Lin Yi was displeased again. “She gave you money, and you’re still talking bad about her?”
Assistant: “…”
She surrendered. “I’ll just mute myself.”
Lin Yi huffed twice, then gave the assistant a few instructions about props she needed for dance practice at home that day. After the assistant left, she looked at Xu Shuyan’s closed bedroom door, hesitating.
She wondered what time Xu Shuyan had gone to bed last night. She still hadn’t come out. She couldn’t have fainted again, could she?
Lin Yi’s heart pounded. After much hesitation, she walked to the door and knocked. There was no response. She knocked again. “Xu Shuyan? Are you awake?”
Still no response.
Just as she raised her hand to knock a third time, the door swung open. Xu Shuyan stood in the doorway, watching her quietly. A wine-red slip dress was draped loosely over her, threatening to reveal a sliver of skin.
Lin Yi: “!!!”
But Xu Shuyan turned around nonchalantly, the prominent butterfly bones on her thin, straight back swaying before Lin Yi’s eyes. Xu Shuyan said something, but Lin Yi didn’t hear a word. Her mind was spinning with a single thought.
Oh my god!
Was Xu Shuyan trying to seduce her?!
Get instant access to all the chapters now.
