He Gao was about to lead the two to the main hall for lunch after coming out of the conference hall, but Lu Lingcong waved his hand, signaling that there was no need, and merely asked, “I haven’t had a chance to see Shuning this half-day. Has she eaten? We’ll go back to the inner courtyard and eat with her.”
So, the three of them went together to the inner courtyard.
For the past half-month that Xie Jing was not in the Prefect’s Mansion, Lu Shuning was being looked after by Madam He. At night, she no longer returned to the quiet room in the back courtyard but stayed in a side room in the inner courtyard.
At the courtyard gate, they ran into a maid who was hurrying out. Xie Jing took a quick look and recognized the girl who had helped Lu Lingcong bring him plum blossom steamed dumplings on New Year’s Eve, the one named San Niang.
San Niang was stunned when she saw the three of them approaching, but she didn’t have time to perform the courtesy. She rushed up to Xie Jing and said, “Master Wu, you’re finally back! Please hurry inside and have a look. Lady Ning said she had no appetite this morning, and she ended up vomiting twice. She just lay down and slept for a while, and now she’s starting to develop a bit of a fever. Madam is taking care of her inside, and I was just about to go find a physician.”
Xie Jing had barely heard her finish before he lifted his steps and rushed in. Lu Lingcong followed a few steps behind, then paused, turned back to San Niang, and said, “Hold on a moment before you go.”
Inside the room, Madam He was sitting sideways on the edge of the bed, leaning halfway over while gently wiping Lu Shuning’s forehead with a damp cloth.
Hearing the noise and seeing Xie Jing enter, she looked quite ashamed, clearly feeling apologetic for failing to properly look after the daughter entrusted to her care.
Xie Jing bent down and pressed his hand to the side of Lu Shuning’s cheek to feel her temperature. Fortunately, it wasn’t too high, and her breathing remained steady asleep. Feeling relieved, he said to Madam He, “Madam, don’t panic. Did she eat anything oily or heavily spiced yesterday?”
San Niang, who had followed them into the room, immediately replied, “She played a bit late last night and missed the dinner time. Lady Ning didn’t want to disturb the kitchen, so I warmed up some mutton soup dumplings for her.”
Madam He then said, “I think she was nauseated. This is my fault for being negligent in my supervision and letting the girl suffer.”
Xie Jing smiled, took the cloth from Madam He’s hand, and said gently, “Madam, please don’t say that. With the sudden outbreak of war and chaos last night, you had to manage so many people in the Prefect’s Mansion; how could you attend to everything? She is a child with a delicate stomach; she will recover after a day or two of rest.”
Madam He nodded, let out a sigh of relief, and stood up to yield her spot to Xie Jing. Only then did she notice He Gao and Prince Zhao were also in the room. She was startled and said, “Your Highness, this is…”
Seeing this, He Gao was about to send San Niang away, but Lu Lingcong said, “It’s fine if she knows.”
He Gao then beckoned for both Madam He and San Niang to step forward, and they huddled together, quietly talking for a few moments.
After they finished speaking, Madam He turned around, her face filled with astonishment. San Niang; however, was relatively calmer because she had been mentally prepared when she delivered the steamed dumplings and was unfamiliar with the old affairs of the Xie family.
After a moment, she stammered, “…Princess Consort, does this maid still need to go invite a physician?”
Lu Lingcong half-crouched beside the bed, gently running his fingers through Lu Shuning’s hair that spilled over the pillow. He looked up and asked Xie Jing, “Should we send a message to have a military physician come and take a look?”
Xie Jing shook his head and said, “No need. We brought back many wounded soldiers this morning; the camp is extremely busy right now, and they won’t be able to leave.”
He turned to San Niang, “I’ll have to trouble you to make a trip, tell the medical hall about her symptoms, and just bring back some medicine. No need for the physician to come personally.”
San Niang agreed and left. Lord He and his wife exchanged a few more concerned words and quietly withdrew, leaving the family of three quietly gathered around the bed.
“Is she often like this?” Lu Lingcong asked.
“It has happened a few times before. The first time was the most serious, where she ate something unclean and caught a chill, causing diarrhea and vomiting for several days. These symptoms are much lighter now. After taking two doses of medicine and a few days of a light diet, it won’t be anything major.”
The water in the basin was a bit cold. Lu Lingcong got up and added a small stream of boiling water.
Yongzhou was not wealthy. Winter supplies naturally prioritized the common people, and the expenses of the Prefect’s Mansion were merely sufficient. Naturally, it was not particularly grand, let alone comparable to the palace or the Prince’s Mansion.
Although the charcoal fire in the room was slightly smoky, Xie Jing had long been accustomed to it, and Lu Lingcong didn’t mind either, so it was not an issue.
Xie Jing rolled up his sleeves, wrung out the cloth, dipped it back into the adjusted water, and rinsed it. He carefully shifted Lu Shuning’s upper body, moved aside her bun, and gently wiped the sweat from the back of her neck and along her spine.
Lu Shuning stirred uneasily in her sleep. Lu Lingcong enclosed her hand in his palm, gently kneading the pressure point between her thumb and forefinger.
Before long, Madam He returned, bringing two bowls of steaming soup noodles for the Prince and Princess Consort, who had not yet eaten.
The two quickly finished their meal. As soon as they put down their bowls and chopsticks, San Niang came in carrying the brewed medicine, and a faint bitterness instantly permeated the room.
Xie Jing wrinkled his nose as he smelled the aroma of Atractylodes macrocephala. The medicine he drank to stabilize his pregnancy with their eldest son also contained this ingredient. Although inevitably bitter, it was fortunately mild and sweet in nature. Clearly, San Niang had specifically informed the physician when getting the prescription that the patient was a young girl, so the medicine was not overly potent.
He thanked San Niang, took the medicine cup and spoon, and then signaled for Lu Lingcong to pick up Lu Shuning to make feeding easier.
Lu Lingcong was about to reach for her but suddenly remembered that he hadn’t removed his cold, hard armor, which might bump or scratch her. So, he first went to the side to take off his silver armor. Only then did he sit by the bed, lean down, and carefully lift Lu Shuning, both the human and bedding, into his arms.
Lu Shuning’s sleep was naturally light, and already uncomfortable; she more or less woke groggily the moment she was lifted. She blinked weakly, then burrowed her face back into Lu Lingcong’s chest like an ostrich.
Seeing her open her eyes, Xie Jing said, “You are a big girl now, you can drink the medicine in one gulp, right?”
Lu Shuning made no sound. Instead, she buried her face deeper into Lu Lingcong’s embrace with only the fuzzy back of her head exposed; her pair of double buns drooping like ears.
Xie Jing and Lu Lingcong exchanged a glance. Xie Jing, who was holding the bowl, moved from the opposite side to sit next to Lu Lingcong. He leaned in slightly, moved close to Lu Shuning’s ear, and exaggeratedly hissed, “Ouch, I burned my hand.”
Lu Shuning then moved. Lu Lingcong cooperatively patted her gently and coaxed, “Look, Mother got burned. Can you blow on it for him, hmm?”
The ‘self-inflicted injury’ tactic was effective. After a rustle, Lu Shuning slowly lifted her head, turned her face, and stared at his finger with her round eyes, which were very similar in shape to Xie Jing’s.
Xie Jing then brought his index finger close to her. Lu Shuning lifted her hand, curled her fingers around his knuckle, puffed her cheeks, and gently blew a few breaths at it. The warm touch made Xie Jing feel slightly ticklish, so he laughed and caught Lu Shuning’s little hand before bringing it to his lips to kiss it.
Lu Lingcong pulled the blanket up to cover her back to prevent her from catching a chill while sweating and continued to coax her, “Mother didn’t sleep all night yesterday. He is very tired and sleepy. If you drink the medicine, you can just rest with him for a while.”
Xie Jing agreed, “I can’t sleep without you by my side.”
Lu Shuning weighed her options. In the end, her affection for her mother clearly outweighed her fear of bitterness and took the upper hand. She reached out and took the medicine, which Xie Jing had cooled down by blowing and stirring, and with the resolve of one going to their death, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, held it, and tilted her head back to gulp down the medicine in one go.
As if performing a magic trick, Lu Lingcong pinched a dried fruit into Lu Shuning’s mouth. The sweet and sour taste temporarily eased her grimace from the bitterness.
Xie Jing asked again, “Do you still feel like throwing up right now? Are you hungry? Do you want a little plain porridge?”
Seeing Lu Shuning shake her head to both questions, Lu Lingcong gently placed her back on the pillow and said, “Then be good and sleep more. You won’t feel uncomfortable when you wake up.”
Lu Shuning tucked herself against the innermost side of the bed, clutched Xie Jing’s sleeve, and asked him to “sleep beside her”.
Xie Jing removed his shoes and outer robe, drew back the quilt, and lay down at her side before stretching out an arm to invite her into his embrace. “If you feel uncomfortable, you must call me.”
Perhaps she was truly drowsy from being ill, or perhaps her mother’s presence was always familiar and reassuring. Lu Shuning clutched Xie Jing’s hair ends, and before long, she was asleep again.
Xie Jing lowered his eyes and quietly watched her for a moment. Her warm, soft, small body and rhythmic breathing made his own heart calm down.
The bed in the side room was not spacious, but Lu Shuning was petite and barely took up any space. Xie Jing was likewise slender, so even with the mother and daughter cuddled together, there was still enough room left for Lu Lingcong to half-recline along the outermost edge.
Fortunately, both of them had hastily bathed upon returning to the Prefect’s Mansion in the morning, so there was no hesitation in getting into bed at this time.
Noticed that Xie Jing was still awake, Lu Lingcong said softly, “I’ll keep watch. You go to sleep.”
Neither of them had slept for more than a full day and night. Xie Jing was truly drained both in body and mind, though it had not shown earlier, as Lu Shuning’s illness had forced him to stay constantly alert. Now, lying down and relaxing, he felt his eyelids fighting.
He no longer insisted, only saying in a whispered breath, “Then wake me early. And if she wakes before I do, you must wake me as well.”
Lu Lingcong assented, leaned over, and kissed the back of his ear. Xie Jing turned over, fully lying on his side as he drew his daughter into his arms, and only then fell asleep in complete peace.
He and Lu Shuning slept soundly this time. The room was neither too cold nor too hot, and the bedding was soft and dry. With Lu Shuning beside him, and with Lu Lingcong at his side in turn, both of them sank into a deep, dreamless sleep. When Xie Jing was woken up, it was already completely dark. He was somewhat disoriented, wondering what day it was, and momentarily thought he was in his bedroom in the Prince’s Mansion.
The breathing in his arms was still long and steady. Lu Shuning must still be asleep.
The one waking him was Lu Lingcong, who first smoothed his back with his hand, afraid of startling him, and only after he stirred did he lean close to his ear and softly call his name.
“I’m awake.” Xie Jing rubbed his eyes. “What is it?”
Lu Lingcong’s next sentence instantly cleared his mind: “The Imperial Edict has arrived.”
Xie Jing was startled; all or his weariness was gone. He gently withdrew his arm from under Lu Shuning’s neck, turned, and sat up. By the glow of a nearby candle, he clearly saw Lu Lingcong, who had already changed out of his military uniform into plain clothes, evidently having just come back from outside.
“What did it say? Was the matter of political marriage settled? Does it order you to return to the capital?” He asked quietly and urgently.
Lu Lingcong shook his head: “It didn’t mention political marriage.”
Xie Jing first sighed in relief but then sensed something was amiss. Based on his understanding of Lu Lingzhen, she, like her nephew, was accustomed to reporting good news and concealing badly. Unless the circumstances were truly critical and beyond her ability to handle on her own, she would never lightly write to Lu Lingcong on the battlefield to seek his help.
Unless the matter in the imperial edict was more special or of greater consequence than the political marriage—
With a premonition, Xie Jing gazed at Lu Lingcong, who remained silent for a moment, then opened his mouth to repeat, “‘Prince Zhao is Zhen’s kinsman and a pillar of the court. Zhen constantly feels the melancholy of the Consort Dowager and Shizi regarding his distance and commands him to return to complete the order of human relations. The former Vice Minister of the Department of State Affair, Xie Jing, shook the foundations of the state but was spared death due to his ancestors’ grace. Zhen hears that he has been away from the capital for three years, constantly reflecting himself by assisting in suppressing the border troubles, and striving for merit while bearing his guilt. Zhen now commands the Tiger Division to escort him back to the capital to await ennoblement and summons.'”
After those words, the room fell silent. Only after a long while did Xie Jing speak again, asking, “Did it write ‘former nister of the Department of State Affair, Xie Jing’?”
Lu Lingcong nodded.
Xie Jing slowly relaxed his stiff back, sat cross-legged by the bed, and stared blankly at Lu Lingcong’s shadow on the floor in front of him.
Regardless of whether his whereabouts were known by the capital during these three years, the court was now well aware that he was in Yongzhou at this moment and was playing a crucial role in the war.
The two characters “Xie Jing,” clearly written in the edict, stood as an unmistakable warning directed at him.
“Whose people do you think informed Jingling?” Lu Lingcong asked.
It wasn’t anyone from the Prefect’s Mansion or the people of Yongzhou. Xie Jing had always been extremely cautious and rarely left the mansion to go into the streets. If someone in this frontier city truly recognized his face, the court would not have remained silent until today to act.
It wasn’t the soldiers of the Tiger Division either. Very few of those young officials and soldiers were from Jinling, and Xie Jing completely trusted Lu Lingcong’s ability to command and employ people.
That left only one faction. The battlefield changes rapidly. Sometimes the situation simply did not allow him to hide his face or evade the enemy. It was impossible for the enemy scouts not to have noticed that someone like him was accompanying the Prefect of Yongzhou. Moreover, since the capital was able to learn that he had played a role in the war, the person who sent the message must have encountered him on the battlefield.
Xie Jing and Lu Lingcong exchanged a look. He took the other party’s hand and wrote the character “North” on his palm.
Lu Lingcong was clearly of the same mind. He said in a deep voice, “There are only two possibilities for such a source of information. First, there is an undercover agent from the court among the Northern troops. Second,” he paused, “someone in the court is colluding with the enemy.”
Xie Jing nodded, his mind swiftly weighing the options, and went on, “But regardless of which one, the opponent—and even the court—should not yet know that you and I have reconciled. Otherwise, the imperial edict would not refer to me as ‘former Vice Minister of the Department of State Affair ‘ but would call me ‘the deposed Princess Consort Zhao, Madam Xie.'”
In the eyes of outsiders, his marriage with Lu Lingcong ended in an extremely disgraceful manner. After their reunion, their interactions in public were even more cautious than Xie Jing’s solo outings. Unless they were the closest people to them, it would have been impossible to detect any connection between them over the past month or so.
In the twelfth year of Zhengyou, Xie Jing was promoted to Vice Minister of the Department of State Affair. The next year, the Jihai year, a special imperial examination was held, and he spent half the year occupied with overseeing the metropolitan exams. Afterward, he gradually grew negligent in his duties, bringing Lu Shuqing to the office only once every ten to fifteen days, where he would have two cups of tea, greet a circle of uncles, and then return home.
By the time Lu Shuning was born, he simply stopped showing his face at all.
Therefore, although Xie Jing held an official position in the court when he left the capital, he was already an idle official in name only.
However, the imperial edict mention of this official status, which he himself had almost forgotten, clearly treated him as a person separate from the Xie Jing involved in the massacre of the Xie family. Moreover, the wording implied a readiness to let bygones be bygones, and the special note that he would be “escorted by the Tiger Division” not only tested his present rapport with Lu Lingcong but also clearly carried other intentions.
As for what these intentions were, there was no way of knowing unless he personally returned and stood before Shenlong Hall.
He couldn’t help but sigh at how timely Lu Lingzhen’s letter had arrived. If it had been delayed by just a few more hours, it wouldn’t have been enough for them to seize this opportunity to deliver a heavy blow to Northen Desert, thereby temporarily gaining a moment of respite for Yongzhou.
“I should have expected this long ago. It’s still the same saying, what is fated to be yours will eventually be yours.” Xie Jing smiled silently, raised his eyes, and gazed at Lu Lingcong.
“If you don’t want to go back—”
Xie Jing shook his head, stopping him from continuing. “I should thank this edict. With the four characters ‘await ennoblement and summons,’ it will be far easier than relying on my own power to climb back, step by step, and move up.”
Lu Lingcong remained silent, speaking only after a long pause. His statement was not a question but a certainty: “You have thought about avenging the Xie family’s hatred.”
This was the topic that they had, by tacit agreement, never touched upon since their reunion. It was the cruelest nightmare and the hardest-to-heal chronic illness, the most unbearable persistent malady in both their hearts.
No matter how serious a physical injury is, it will eventually heal, but this scar has been continuously weeping fresh blood for more than a thousand days and nights.
“I haven’t just ‘thought about’ it,” Xie Jing lifted his gaze, “I intend to.”
Kneeling calmly and gracefully by the bed, his posture mirrored exactly the figure beneath the Gongche Gate on that rainy night, crushed by grief and sorrow, yet not bending in the slightest.
Behind him, his daughter lay quietly, sleeping soundly. Xie Jing’s solitary, slender frame was draped in faded cloth garments; his hair slightly tousled from a long sleep, cascading gently over one shoulder. Yet the words he spoke easily negated all the warmth and tenderness surrounding him:
“There isn’t a single moment, not a second, when I don’t think of it. Not a moment, not a second, when I don’t feel hate.”
Lu Lingcong met his eyes, which were as deep as a cold pool, for a long time, and then said:
“Every thought you’ve had, every hatred you’ve felt; everything you intend to do, every person you plan to kill—tell me all of it, without holding anything back.”
