Miss Cui—now Madam Cui, stood silently at the door. She wore no makeup, and the sapphire blue outer robe made her look overly pale. Compared to the first time Xie Jing saw her on New Year’s Eve, her appearance had completely changed.
Xie Jing had barely seen Cui Shushi after she married into the Prime Minister’s Mansion. She married in the same year that he and Lu Lingcong got married. Two years later, Grand Commandant Cui passed away. All Xie Jing knew was that Wang Shu’s second son, Wang Xi, favored his concubine and neglected his wife. The legitimate eldest daughter of the Grand Commandant Mansion did not manage the household finances, suffered exclusion from her sisters-in-law, and her life was more than just unsatisfactory.
But in fact, Xie Jing often thought of her. He felt a faint sense of guilt toward her, which was unreasonable. Rather than guilt, it was pity, and the better Lu Lingcong treated him, the stronger this feeling became.
He stood up: “Madam Cui.”
Cui Shushi bowed: “Lord Xie has returned to the capital from afar; you must be weary from the journey.”
The door behind her was not closed, suggesting she was not alone. Xie Jing could only ask politely, “How have Madam and Ah Huang been doing lately?”
Cui Shushi looked up at him and said faintly, “She is dead.”
Xie Jing was instantly speechless. Ah Huang was her only daughter.
He recalled that little girl with long, narrow eyes who often kept her head lowered and her lips pressed together; whenever she smiled, a single dimple would appear on one cheek, giving her an especially delicate and graceful air. Lu Shuqing was said to be precocious from a young age, but at that age, in terms of worldly wisdom and human relations, he was far less knowledgeable than Ah Huang.
Xie Jing noticed Ah Huang at a banquet in Prince Zhao’s mansion. At home, she was lost among a crowd of siblings. When she was brought to the banquet, she knew she wasn’t particularly welcomed, so she didn’t join in the lively gathering and instead remained alone in a corner, blankly gazing toward the Yibi Terrace across the lake.
He had noticed her Isolation early on and felt obliged to show some hospitality as the host. So he sat beside her and chatted for a while, coaxed her into sharing some snacks, and then waved Lu Shuqing over, asking him to take her to play.
Due to his status and the late emperor’s favor, Lu Shuqing was truly the little favorite among the children of aristocratic families. Sure enough, when the other children saw him playing with Ah Huang, they also came closer. Xie Jing watched the little girl gradually brighten up, showing some of the innocent charm expected of her age.
That day, before Ah Huang returned to her residence, she specifically sought out Xie Jing, formally bowed to thank him for his care and hospitality, and then carefully whispered that there was a secret she wanted to tell him.
He readily agreed, crouched down, and leaned his ear towards her, only to hear Ah Huang say in a tender voice, “I wish the Princess Consort was my mother.”
Xie Jing smiled, asking, “Why is that?”
Ah Huang said seriously, “Because my mother hates me.”
Xie Jing was stunned, unsure whether to take it seriously, but he didn’t have a chance to inquire further. Not long after that, Cui Shushi had a massive quarrel with Wang Xi, which nearly became a public scandal, and Ah Huang never came out again.
Perhaps it was that last sentence, those short six words, that made Xie Jing remember Ah Huang until now. Yet looking at Cui Shushi at this moment, he still had no way of guessing whether those six words were true or false.
So he said nothing. He couldn’t tell whether, when it came to this matter, she needed empathy from him, someone who was also a parent, or not.
Cui Shushi’s expression was calm, showing no sign of having been affected by private sorrow at all. She simply asked Xie Jing to sit back down and got straight to the point: “Is Lord Xie satisfied with this assignment arranged by Father?”
Xie Jing replied, “I’m more than satisfied, it’s an unexpected joy.”
Cui Shushi lowered her eyes: “Father also said that the third rank is merely a start. Lord Xie has true capability, and this is just a token of his sincerity in wishing to recruit talented people.”
Xie Jing then cupped his hands: “I haven’t yet had the chance to personally thank Prime Minister Wang. I wonder if the Elder is available at this moment.”
Cui Shushi said, “Father is tied up with some miscellaneous matters, so he sent me first to act on his behalf and ask Lord Xie for something.”
Xie Jing narrowed his eyes. Cui Shushi hooked her index finger and pointed it toward the direction of his chest: “Courtesy demands reciprocity. Father also wishes to see Lord Xie’s sincerity.”
Xie Jing paused: “Madam, please state it clearly.”
Cui Shushi fiddled with the silver bangle on her right wrist. The narrow sleeve of her inner garment was gathered inside the bangle, making it look a bit strange. She said, “Lord Xie was, after all, Prince Zhao’s pillow-mate for ten years. On the matter of information asymmetry alone, the Wang family is willing but lacks the capacity. You said your goal is the same as the Wang family’s, but if in the future you take all this intimate knowledge of Prince Zhao and switch allegiance to some Zhang or Li family, wouldn’t all Father’s effort and cultivation be completely wasted?”
Upon hearing this, Xie Jing replied, “Since I spoke frankly with Prime Minister Wang yesterday, I genuinely intend to take shelter under the Wang family’s tree and will certainly not become a person who serves multiple masters.”
“I naturally believe you, but Father may not completely believe it. After all, if there was something that could tie Lord Xie to the Prime Minister’s Mansion, so you would frequently visit, that would be ideal.”
Xie Jing’s brows knit ever so slightly, almost too subtly to notice, as he said in a half-joking tone, “Prime Minister Wang isn’t planning to take me in as a son-in-law, is he? What young lady would be willing to marry someone like me, who has already borne two children, without feeling extremely uncomfortable?”
Cui Shushi also gave a faint smile: “No, it’s not that, but Lord Xie doesn’t need to belittle yourself either. I overheard a little about what His Highness Shizi said outside the city yesterday. If Lord Xie can’t let it go, just treat it as if you never gave birth at all.”
She looked at Xie Jing for a moment, then returned to the previous topic: “This matter is not difficult. Lord Xie only needs to carry one item with you everywhere, all the time.”
Xie Jing: “What item?”
Cui Shushi did not answer immediately but stared fixedly at him for a moment, then suddenly parted her lips and silently mouthed one thing: Do not resist.
Immediately, she turned her face toward the outside and said, “Come in.”
Those who filed in one after another were all servants from the Prime Minister’s residence, each dressed in the same uniform attire. But each of them kept their gaze down, communicating entirely through hand gestures. The leading maidservant carried a dark, black wooden box and presented it to Cui Shushi. The remaining few silently took positions behind Xie Jing. They did not appear to be intentionally blocking his path but rather seemed to be sternly preparing for something.
Cui Shushi offered no further explanation, only saying, “Lord Xie, just treat this as an ordinary pulse diagnosis.”
After speaking, she opened the wooden box and indeed took out a cushion resembling a pulse pillow. She asked Xie Jing to push the sleeve of his right arm up to the elbow, turn his palm upward, and rest his wrist on the cushion.
Xie Jing did not know what she would do next: “Madam, contact between unrelated men and women is inappropriate.”
Cui Shushi said evenly, “If I do it myself, Lord Xie will suffer less. If I use the mute servants,” she glanced impatiently at the servants behind Xie Jing, “you bear the consequences.”
Xie Jing remembered the mouth shape she had just made and stopped speaking. A moment later, his eyes were covered with a silk ribbon, and everything instantly went dark.
A moment later, he felt a chill at his pulse point, and his body involuntarily gave a start, followed by a sharp, tiny prickling pain. His sense of touch clearly told him it was a needle.
The needle was nearly three inches long. Xie Jing could only rely on the physical pain to sense it gradually sinking completely into his skin, lying flat beneath the thin layer of muscle surface. However, the pain of the sharp tip cutting through his flesh was still within his tolerance.
Immediately after, a cold stone was gently pressed onto his wrist and, adhering to the needle beneath the skin, began to move. Xie Jing instantly realized that it was neither an ordinary embroidery needle nor a filiform needle, but a magnetic needle, which could slowly move inside the skin of his forearm under the guidance of this magnet.
The next moment, a searing, agonizing pain suddenly exploded across his entire right side. A very fine silk thread was attached to the tail of the magnetic needle and was drawn into his body as the needle moved deeper. It felt as if his blood was instantly set on fire and his tendons were being severed, causing him to completely lose sensation.
Xie Jing shook all over like a sieve; his hands trembled violently, and he bit down on his lips so hard that blood quickly began to seep out. The mute servants behind him promptly restrained his neck, shoulders, and arms, preventing him from collapsing onto the floor due to lack of support.
The pain of the silk thread entering his body was dull and protracted, proceeding slowly and patiently, millimeter by millimeter, like ten thousand ants gnawing at his bones, as if his forearm were being slowly sliced to pieces.
That was not the kind of torment that a mundane silk thread could inflict. Xie Jing was wretchedly pinned against the table, his back completely soaked in sweat. By the end, he had entirely lost the ability to count or think, having no idea when the magnetic needle had passed through his entire forearm and was taken out again, leaving only the silk thread inside his flesh.
But when the silk ribbon was removed, Cui Shushi gently brushed her hands away. What Xie Jing saw was still that flawless, snow-white skin, no different from before. Only the small puncture marks left by the needle at the pulse point and in the crook of the elbow remained, reminding him that the lingering, soul-piercing pain he had felt was not an illusion.
He stared blankly at his right arm for a long time. After taking a few ragged breaths, he realized his tongue felt sweet and metallic, and his mouth was full of blood.
“Poison?” Xie Jing forced out the single word, looking as though he might collapse from sheer exhaustion, his eyes bloodshot.
“Better to call it medicine.” Cui Shushi closed the wooden box and handed it back to the maidservant, saying lightly, “Lord Xie only needs to carry this silk thread with you. If you wish to live, come to the Prime Minister’s mansion to have it replaced once a month on this day—the seventh.”
“Rest assured.” She rose to her feet, and with her left hand casually brushed the silver bangle on her right wrist, making the sleeve slide up slightly. A fresh red needle mark at the pulse point was revealed directly before Xie Jing’s eyes. “There will be no visible change even after many years.”
Xie Jing paused before meeting her gaze. After a long moment, he said with unsteady breaths, “With such sincerity, is Prime Minister Wang also satisfied?”
Cui Shushi gave a faint smile but did not reply. She merely instructed the mute servants, “Assist Lord Xie in changing his clothes and arranging his appearance,” before stepping out and leaving.
Half an hour later, the Yinqing Glorious Grand Master emerged from the Prime Minister’s mansion, dressed in resplendent robes, his demeanor calm and deep as a still pool, his eyes free of any clouding. Without hesitation, he stepped into the carriage that had been waiting for him.
When he was alone, Xie Jing calmed down to think carefully. It was likely that some kind of “medicine” infused in the silk thread reacted when it came into contact with blood, but its effect lasted only for a limited time. Ignoring the faint numbness that was now present, he could no longer feel a very clear pain.
Aside from the whole process of inserting it, as long as he had it replaced once a month, the silk thread would cause him no trouble for the remainder of the time.
Cui Shushi also had it… and according to her final implication, this silk thread had been buried in her forearm since who knows how many years ago, and she, too, had to endure the torment again every month, just as he had today.
But why did the Wang family use this to control her? Was it because of her background from the Grand Commandant Mansion? Did the other female relatives of the Wang family also have it?
Xie Jing knew that he had too many flaws around his body at this moment and could not perfectly feign normalcy in front of Lu Lingcong. The existence of this silk thread absolutely had to be kept hidden from Lu Lingcong.
But he still went to the secret chamber. Breaking the appointment without reason would only cause Lu Lingcong double the worry and anxiety, and he might even come to Wuyi Lane himself.
The first thing Xie Jing did upon seeing Lu Lingcong was to take two steps forward and hug him, resting in his embrace for the time it takes an incense stick to burn[mfn]About 30 minutes.[/mfn] without saying anything. Lu Lingcong was taken aback and asked what was wrong, to which Xie Jing briefly replied that he had run into Madam Cui at the Prime Minister’s mansion.
Lu Lingcong’s attention was naturally drawn away, and he had no time to ask exactly what Xie Jing had done at the Prime Minister’s mansion.
He patted Xie Jing’s back: “You wouldn’t be so petty as to sip this old vinegar, would you? I’ve never had anything with her.”
“I didn’t,” Xie Jing said dully. “I only found out today that Ah Huang, her little daughter, is gone?”
Lu Lingcong was silent for a moment, then nodded, “It happened the year before last. The Wang family only said she died of illness, and I don’t know the specifics either. It’s a shame; she was even younger than Qing’er.”
Seeing Xie Jing neither moving nor speaking, he assumed he was grieving for a fellow human being and consoled him softly: “Our children will be fine.”
Xie Jing paused, then said, “You remember, right? I told you that Ah Huang once told me she wished I was her mother.”
Lu Lingcong actually didn’t remember very well. After all, guests in the Prince’s Mansion’s garden throughout the year numbered no less than eight hundred, if not a thousand, men and women, old and young. He couldn’t clearly recall every person or every banquet.
Xie Jing added, “You said she dreamed beautifully, and that you would never give me up to Wang Xi.”
Lu Lingcong immediately said, “I remember now.”
Xie Jing then continued, “Actually, that day she also told me that Madam Cui hated her.”
Lu Lingcong didn’t have any particular reaction. Xie Jing pulled back to look up at him and simply said, “It’s understandable. Madam Cui’s life was difficult, and she was depressed with no one to relieve her feelings, so she could only take it out on her daughter.”
Xie Jing’s brow furrowed: “No matter what, a young daughter is innocent. Why would a mother hate her own flesh and blood?”
Lu Lingcong suddenly laughed: “Now I understand why Wang Shu ultimately didn’t believe you could be cruel enough to hurt the children. If you had asked him this question after saying those heartless and cruel words to him, you could forget about him ever believing you.”
“These are two separate issues,” Xie Jing shook his head. “I thought Madam Cui would clearly understand that this matter could not be blamed on her daughter, nor involve her daughter.”
Lu Lingcong stroked his hair: “You are like a saint as a mother, but not everyone can be like you. You always hold yourself to the most stringent standards, believing you are merely meeting expectations, but in reality, you are reaching an extreme. Furthermore, if you were genuinely in her position, you might also not be the same person you are now.”
Xie Jing had to admit that Lu Lingcong was right. Although he was subjectively unwilling, he still hadn’t been able to escape that slight feeling of apprehension before they were married—had he secretly pilfered someone else’s good fortune? Had capricious fate, in bringing Lu Lingcong and their children to him, simultaneously decreed that something must be taken away from him to maintain the natural order?
There was no reason for one person to monopolize all the perfection in the world.
“I probably just miss the two of them too much. Knowing Ah Huang’s story suddenly made me empathize.”
“The Empress Dowager has given the order for Ningning to stay in the palace for a few more days, and it’s difficult to decline for now. Just wait a bit. Once the matter of stationing troops at Mufu Mountain is largely settled, I will find an excuse to have them move back to the Prince’s Mansion. They will come to see you then.”
Lu Lingcong raised his hands to grasp the arms Xie Jing had wrapped around him, intending to bring him forward to stand still. When he held the right arm, Xie Jing unconsciously shivered for an instant and instinctively pulled away slightly from his grasp.
“What’s wrong?” Lu Lingcong noticed the abnormality.
Xie Jing shook his head and prevaricated: “Don’t pinch the muscle; it hurts a little.”
“No,” Lu Lingcong pressed, “I asked what you were spacing out thinking about again.”
“Oh,” Xie Jing repeated, his voice slightly blank, “I was just wondering… why do people feel pain?”
