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Chapter 49.3 – He Gu Arrives
A buzzing filled He Gu’s ears, drowning out Lin Jiang’s voice. His vision blurred, as if none of this were real but just a nightmare.
Lin Jiang’s tone was terrifyingly cold. “I know your obsession with cleanliness. Your expectations for a partner are impossibly high. Even if one day I wanted to come back to you, you’d never be able to accept me again. Young Master He never wastes time on hopeless causes. Don’t go on like this. Go back.”
He had witnessed He Gu’s mysophobia firsthand.
It had reached an almost pathological level.
At banquets, if someone so much as brushed against him, he would frown and immediately wash his hands.
Lin Jiang had once joked, “How will you ever find a partner like this?”
He Gu had replied without hesitation, “I’ll find someone clean.”
The lofty Young Master He, an extreme perfectionist, could never accept a partner who had been touched by another. It was ingrained in his very nature.
Lin Jiang didn’t believe He Gu would ever change something that fundamental. BHe said all this to him so that he’d understand—there’s truly no possibility left between them.
“Go back. Don’t waste your time on me.”
He Gu braced himself against the door, the feeling in his chest overwhelming —
In that moment, he finally realized that Lin Jiang had truly given up on him.
It wasn’t to get revenge. It wasn’t out of spite.
Lin Jiang had really, truly let go—and chosen to be with Shen Ju.
Lin Jiang—his Lin Jiang—wasn’t his anymore.
He Gu leaned heavily on the doorframe, dizzy and lightheaded.
He stared wide-eyed in disbelief, a physical nausea roiling in his stomach like waves crashing inside him.
Lin Jiang stood before him—cold and indifferent, like a high and mighty executioner —
was truly ready to strike the final, fatal blow.
He was wrong—Lin Jiang wasn’t gentle at all.
Inside him was a coldness a hundred times more ruthless than his own.
How did things turn out like this…?
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Suddenly, He Gu realized his vision was blurring. He wanted to see him more clearly, and reached out to grab Lin Jiang’s hand, trying to pull him toward himself.
Lin Jiang reacted strongly. “What are you doing ?! “
He Gu barely managed to brace himself against the door—and for a terrifying second, he even thought that Lin Jiang would really close the door and break his fingers.
Hah.
He let out a bitter laugh.
How did it come to this?
His grip tightened uncontrollably, veins bulging under the strain, as he yanked Lin Jiang hard, shoved the door open, and dragged him forcefully into the apartment.
Lin Jiang was furious. “Get out!”
He Gu struggled to fight against the violent impulse boiling up inside him—that terrifying urge to destroy everything. He slammed the door shut with force, his eyes icy with murderous intent, asking him one last time, “Did you really sleep with him?”
Lin Jiang forced himself to stay calm. “Do I have any reason to lie to you?”
He Gu hand shot out, grabbing Lin Jiang’s face. In that instant, the monster lurking within him nearly broke free. He pinned Lin Jiang against the entryway wall, each breath causing sharp pain in his chest.
“How long have you even known him? I’ve known you for years—I don’t believe you’d actually sleep with him.”
He released Lin Jiang and began frantically searching the room for evidence, deceiving himself.
The hickeys on his neck didn’t count. Shen Ju must have failed to resist temptation.
He Gu could understand a few bites.
But Lin Jiang had strong self-control—he wouldn’t allow such things to happen.
The matching cups on the table didn’t count either.
They were just the same style. It didn’t mean Shen Ju actually lived here.
The shoes by the door didn’t count. He knew Old Mao and the others would come hang out at Lin Jiang’s place. He himself had been here too.
It’s just… he didn’t like other people leaving traces in Lin Jiang’s home. Even when he visited, he felt uneasy and would leave shortly after.
Why had he left back then?
He clearly knew Lin Jiang also wanted him to stay and talk, but just because of a bit of obsessive cleanliness, he left without the slightest hesitation.
He Gu’s eyes began to turn red. Deep down, he already understood, but he refused to acknowledge it.
As if, so long as he didn’t admit it, then nothing had ever happened.
It wasn’t until he came across an empty box, and a pile of messy ointments, that He Gu was forced to believe.
During the time he’d been striving to get closer to Lin Jiang, Lin Jiang had been with Shen Ju all along. They’d even taken the last step…
Dizziness washed over him again, his vision darkening momentarily.
Lin Jiang watched him calmly. “Don’t bother looking. Shen Ju just left this morning. He’s been staying here for days.”
For the first time, He Gu realized how cruel Lin Jiang could be.
He collapsed helplessly onto the couch in disarray, unable to hold back anymore, his whole body trembling uncontrollably.
His emotions shattered in an instant.
“You…”
“You and him…”
He couldn’t even form a complete sentence. The calm composure and manners he once prided himself on had completely fallen apart. Large teardrops fell from his tightly restrained eyes as he gasped for breath, trying to alleviate the pain.
Lin Jiang had really left him. And for someone he’d only known a few short months.
He covered his face tightly, trembling all over. His voice, strained from restraint, trembled beyond recognition. “How long have you even known him? You’re not this kind of person. Did he force you?”
Lin Jiang turned his face away. “I did it willingly.”
He Gu suddenly grabbed the cup on the table and smashed it violently at Lin Jiang’s feet. The shattered pieces cut into Lin Jiang’s bare feet, leaving him standing frozen amidst the fragments.
“You’ve only known him for a few days? How long have you two been together?”
He Gu had lost all his usual composure, now lashing out like a madman. “Lin Jiang, we’ve known each other for four years. When you got drunk at my place, I never laid a hand on you. Who the hell is Shen Ju? He actually dared to touch you?! You’d give yourself to someone so shallow? Have you lost your mind?”
Looking at the shards at his feet, Lin Jiang suddenly realized that in He Gu’s heart, he might always be the subordinate one.
As long as He Gu needed him, he should be there.
As long as He Gu turned back, he should be waiting.
Lin Jiang was eerily calm. He knew exactly what he wanted. “What’s ‘crazy’ or not for adults? Everything is consensual.”
He Gu truly couldn’t accept it. His body physically rejected the idea.
Just the thought of Lin Jiang willingly letting someone else touch him made his head feel like it would explode.
He even wished he hadn’t come today, wished Lin Jiang hadn’t told him what happened, wished he didn’t know anything and remained ignorant and in the dark.
He bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood, yet it couldn’t alleviate even a fraction of the pain.
In this tug-of-war, He Gu always wanted to be the winner, but in the end, he was the one who lost everything.
Where did it all go wrong…?
He Gu didn’t know. He truly didn’t. For a moment, he really wanted to kill Shen Ju, to kill the man who dared to touch Lin Jiang.
He grabbed another cup and smashed it against the floor.
The rage subsided, but the terrifying part was that he still wanted Lin Jiang to come back to him.
His tears fell to the ground, and He Ju felt that his heart was shredded to pieces. Finally, he conceded defeat, “Lin Jiang, you are truly ruthless.”
The floor was littered with broken shards, a scene of utter devastation.
Just like the predicament He Gu had placed him in, what seemed like a few steps’ distance was actually a path of knives, with each step drawing blood.
Lin Jiang stared silently at the cut on his foot. He knew, deep down, that He Gu might never truly understand what it meant to love someone in a normal way.
Carefully, he began to gather the shards on the ground, doing his best to avoid further injury.
After what felt like an eternity, he heard He Gu’s near self-destructive voice: “Lin Jiang, break it off with him.”
He paused for a moment and saw He Gu stand up, his former confidence gone, replaced only by wretchedness and numbness.
“He’s immature. How many years can such passion last?”
Lin Jiang remained silent.
He Gu suppressed his anger with difficulty. “How long have you two even been together? So eager to take you to bed—do you think he’s someone you can trust for life? Has he even considered your future? Can he take responsibility for you? You haven’t even met each other’s parents, and yet you’re so sure the two of you will last forever?”
Lin Jiang had already thought through all these things. “This is my business. It has nothing to do with you.”
When He Gu heard this, he couldn’t hold back anymore—laughing and crying at the same time.
Yes, it had nothing to do with him. Lin Jiang had made that clear from the start. So why did he feel like he was dying from the pain?
This wasn’t the result he had hoped for, nor the ending he had ever imagined.
At first, he only wanted to test Lin Jiang’s feelings. He wanted to see if Lin Jiang couldn’t bear to let go of their relationship.
But there was nothing. Absolutely nothing!
He was the only one who was deeply trapped from the beginning to the end.
The more he tried to distance himself and pretend he didn’t care, the more those suppressed emotions surged and consumed him.
He thought he would gain more, but in the end, he lost even what little he had.
He began to question, did Lin Jiang ever really love him?
At last, He Gu conceded total defeat. As he stood up, his mind went blank for a moment. Slowly stepping over the shattered fragments, he staggered to Lin Jiang’s side and pulled him into a tight embrace.
Like a defeated man, he bowed his head, grasping at the past. His voice cracked as he whispered, “Let’s stop testing each other, okay? I was wrong. I know I was wrong. Let’s start over.”
Warm tears soaked Lin Jiang’s clothes, and He Gu felt like he was a madman deceiving himself.
Lin Jiang gripped He Gu’s hand tightly. “Let go.”
He Gu shook his head, holding him even tighter.
Beneath their feet lay shards of porcelain that were impossible to clean up, and each step was a risk.
It was as if He Gu had built Lin Jiang a garden of thorned roses—because he loved him, he wanted to drag him into the same despair, to trap him there with him.
He Gu kept whispering in his ear, “Lin Jiang, let’s go back to how we were before? I don’t want anything else, I just want you..”
“I stopped liking you a long time ago. Can you just wake up?”
Lin Jiang’s voice was icy and cruel. “I’m Shen Ju’s boyfriend now. Aren’t you disgusted holding me like this?”
He Gu only tightened his embrace, as if trying to piece him back together. But when he realized he couldn’t fix things no matter what he did, that was the breaking point of his sanity.
He gently stroked Lin Jiang’s neck and breathed in the clean scent on his body, “Not dirty, not disgusting.”
It was as if he was convincing himself, constantly repeating, “You’re just playing with him. You don’t really like him. You two won’t last long.”
He Gu finally let go, treating Lin Jiang like a doll in a display case, tidying his appearance as he pleased. “I know how you look when you like someone. It’s fine. You’re young, you like to have fun. There’s nothing wrong with that. From now on, I won’t stop you from being friends with anyone. And Shen Ju isn’t right for you. You’ll understand soon enough. I’ll wait for you to come back to me.”
Lin Jiang thought he had gone mad and shoved him away forcefully.
Drunk, He Gu staggered back a few steps before noticing the cut on Lin Jiang’s foot.
Without a word, he scooped Lin Jiang up from the ground.
“What are you doing?! Let me go!”
Lin Jiang struggled desperately, but He Gu held him with terrifying strength, afraid the shattered pieces might hurt him.
He didn’t release him until he had carried him all the way to the couch. The moment he loosened his grip, Lin Jiang slapped him across the face.
He Gu’s cheek flushed red, but he didn’t seem to care.
It was as if his mind had finally cleared. He sank quietly onto the couch.
His body was calm, but his mind was sluggish.
It took him a long moment to react. He touched his cheek and murmured, “It hurts, Lin Jiang. You hit me so hard.”
Lin Jiang didn’t know how to face him anymore. As a friend, he felt a flicker of sympathy.
But after everything he’d endured, he wondered if he even had the right to pity anyone.
Exhausted, he sank onto the couch. “He Gu, I’m begging you, just leave. The door’s right there.”
He Gu lowered his gaze, his fingers clenched tightly, trying to hide the raging storm beneath his calm expression.
Suddenly, he laughed. “Do you think I’m a madman too? Lin Jiang, if even you believe that, then I really must be insane.”
Lin Jiang couldn’t bear to look at him and turned away. “I’ve never thought that. I just think you’re drunk and not in your right mind. This isn’t the time to talk about these things.”
“When should we talk then?” He Hu asked. “I’m very calm right now.”
“You’re not calm at all,” Lin Jiang snapped. “First of all, this is my home. I never invited you here—you barged in yourself. Second, I’m already with Shen Ju. What do you want me to do? Keep you in my heart while sleeping with him? You know I’m not that kind of person. If I chose him, it means I’ve completely let go of you.”
“Why won’t you just admit it? I stopped loving you a long time ago.”
Lin Jiang couldn’t bring himself to say he had already seen the future—and it wasn’t one he wanted. That’s why he’d fought tooth and nail to break free. There was no way he would go back.
When he finished speaking, he noticed He Gu’s fingers had turned white from how hard he was clenching them. Lin Jiang didn’t continue. “Go home and cool off first.”
He Gu’s mind seemed genuinely slow. It took him a long while before he nodded.
He stood up, looking around uncertainly. After wiping the glasses resting on the table, he put them back on.
He seemed to remember he should take something with him but couldn’t recall what. In the end, he only picked up the rose on the table, then carefully straightened his disheveled clothes.
Lin Jiang reminded him, “Don’t forget your watch.”
He Gu nodded, searching for a moment before finding it. He tucked the box into his chest pocket, then cradled the bouquet as he walked to the door—but paused at the entryway.
Lin Jiang thought he had something to say, but but instead, he gently set down the bouquet and grabbed the trash bin. Squatting in his pristine suit, he half-kneelingly gathered the shattered pieces from the floor.
He worked meticulously, afraid of leaving even the tiniest fragment behind. He even pressed his bare hand against the floor to check.
The tiny pieces of porcelain pierced his flesh, but he felt nothing. His vision seemed numbed too—he didn’t even notice his hand was bleeding.
Lin Jiang kept his head lowered, refusing to look.
But the gnawing guilt became unbearable. He stood abruptly, rushing to the door and yanking it open. “Just leave.”
“Please, don’t…”
He Gu sounded like he was about to cry.
He knelt on the ground, his back hunched, raising his head with hands covered in wounds as he looked up at him. “Don’t step on it.”
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