“Crying in the crowd, you just want to become a transparent color. You’ll never dream, or hurt, or feel your heart beat again…”
Zhou Yan paused slightly, listening to the deeply meaningful lyrics, his thoughts drifting back to the past.
Years ago, he resigned from his job at the Nanshi Procuratorate and returned to Haicheng. After joining Yintian, he immediately called Liang Ruixi, inviting him to meet. He wanted to tell him in person about his plans to develop his career in Haicheng, but Liang Ruixi, on the phone, kept making excuses and putting off his invitation.
A week later, Zhou Yan happened to chat with Fang Lu, a senior colleague of Liang Ruixi’s from the same company. Only then did he learn that Liang Ruixi’s grandfather had suddenly passed away from a cerebral hemorrhage, and Liang Ruixi had taken half a month off to return to his hometown to handle the funeral arrangements.
It wasn’t until after the Chinese New Year that Liang Ruixi agreed to meet him. Zhou Yan still remembered it was February 15th, the day after Valentine’s Day.
It rained heavily that day. They met at a simple restaurant at a window seat. Zhou Yan arrived first and waited for about ten minutes before Liang Ruixi appeared outside the restaurant’s glass door. He was wearing a grey and white down jacket, and after he closed his umbrella, his clothes were covered in raindrops. He simply shook himself off like a small animal before coming in.
Most people gain weight during the Chinese New Year, but his chin had, instead, become much sharper. His face, worn down by life’s setbacks, had lost its luster.
At over 1.8 meters tall, he seemed small bundled in his down jacket. His eyes, unlike their usual assertive, almost wild sprawl, now drooped slightly. Zhou Yan knew Liang Ruixi was very close to his grandfather, and this blow must have hit him hard. Yet, from beginning to end, Liang Ruixi didn’t mention his grandfather, nor did he confide any of his sorrows to Zhou Yan.
He tried hard to smile at him, just as the song sang—
“You are not truly happy. Your smile is just the protective color you wear. You’ve decided not to hate, and you’ve decided not to love, locking your soul in a forever-sealed shell…”
……
Zhou Yan desperately wanted to remember how he looked then, but perhaps too much time had passed; the image had become increasingly blurred, far less vivid than the person singing on stage.
He proactively asked if he needed help, staring intently at Liang Ruixi until Liang Ruixi had to look up and meet his gaze. But before he could even speak, Liang Ruixi refused him. The evasive look in his eyes revealed too much, essentially confirming to Zhou Yan why Liang Ruixi no longer sought his help. His surge of warmth seemed instantly frozen, not daring to show even a hint of it.
By the time they parted, Zhou Yan no longer said, “If you ever need anything, just call me,” as he had after graduation.
However, at this moment, Liang Ruixi was singing on stage: “You deserve true happiness, you should take off the protective color you wear. Why, after losing, must you still be punished? Can’t all the sorrow just end here, and you start living anew…” Zhou Yan watched him, his eyes, though touched by hardships and trials, were still bright and clear, carrying an undisguised sincerity that made Zhou Yan wonder if he had been wrong two years ago, if he had misjudged.
“Your drink, oh no, beverage.” Jiang Cheng personally brought over the ‘Grain Rain Season’ drink Zhou Yan ordered. Seeing Zhou Yan staring intently, he proudly asked, “Isn’t Rui Ge’s singing great?”
“En,” Zhou Yan took the glass, lowering his head to hide the swirling emotions in his eyes, his voice trembling slightly. “He’s always been a great singer.”
When Liang Ruixi stepped off the stage, the bar’s patrons were still immersed in a lingering reluctance. Jiang Cheng excitedly pulled him over. “Brother, you’re amazing! You even made Zhou Yan cry!”
“What? Really?” Liang Ruixi looked eagerly in Zhou Yan’s direction, only to see a poker face. “No ah, where’s he crying?”
“You can’t see from this distance, but when I just delivered his drink, I saw his eyes were red.”
“Heh, listening to this song is quite fitting for him now…” Liang Ruixi took a sip of water to clear his throat. Just as he was about to go find Zhou Yan, he remembered to ask, “What drink did you mix for him?”
“He said he drove and couldn’t drink alcohol, so I made him a ‘Grain Rain Season’.”
Liang Ruixi froze. “The green one?”
“Ah, light green.”
“Damn it,” Liang Ruixi was furious and grabbed Jiang Cheng by the collar. “He just got cheated on, and you give him a green drink?”
Jiang Cheng quickly retorted, “He ordered it himself, can you blame me?!”
“Why the hell didn’t you recommend a different color to him?” Liang Ruixi was practically fuming, punching Jiang Cheng. “No wonder he cried!”
Jiang Sheng: “……”
At the VIP seating area, Zhou Yan was drinking his ‘Grain Rain Season’ beverage. As Liang Ruixi approached, he didn’t dare to look directly at him.
He pulled out a chair, completely dropping his earlier agitated demeanor in front of Jiang Cheng, and said softly, “Why are you so late?”
“A bit of traffic,” Zhou Yan seemed to have composed himself, showing no hint of the emotional state Jiang Cheng had described. “It was alright, I caught about a song and a half. You sang well.”
Liang Ruixi smiled, glancing at the cup in Zhou Yan’s hand, and asked him, “Does it taste good?”
“En,” Zhou Yan picked it up and took another sip. “It’s cool and not too sweet. Quite good.”
Liang Ruixi let out a breath, about to say more, when two girls approached to chat: “Handsome guy, you sing so well, can we add you on WeChat?”
Liang Ruixi pointed towards the bar, politely saying, “You can follow the ‘Expectating Possibilities’ official account. If you want to hear anything, you can leave a message there in advance.”
“Okay…” The two girls reluctantly left.
Zhou Yan glanced at the retreating figures of the girls, a smile playing on his lips. “Why didn’t you add them? Doesn’t seem like your style.”
“What’s my style?” Liang Ruixi retorted.
Zhou Yan said, “Didn’t you used to accept all compliments from pretty girls?”
Liang Ruixi was a bit mortified. “Even if I added them, I wouldn’t have time to chat either. When I sang at other bars before, many female customers added me on WeChat, and I’d get a ton of messages every day. I couldn’t even tell who was who, so I stopped adding them later.”
Zhou Yan: “……”
Liang Ruixi wondered why Zhou Yan’s smile disappeared after he explained. He quickly changed the subject, “Since you came at this hour, I can only treat you to a late-night snack.”
Zhou Yan replied, “I didn’t come for a late-night snack.”
“Then why?” Liang Ruixi asked.
“I just wanted to see this place of yours.” Zhou Yan looked around, recalling his initial feelings when he first heard ‘Expectation Possibility’. He added, “You never seemed to post about this bar on your WeChat Moments.”
“I did, but I put my university classmates in a separate group and blocked them,” Liang Ruixi said, a little embarrassed. In reality, he only blocked a few of his closest friends since he was ‘not doing proper work’. “If they all came swarming over for free drinks, how would I make money?”
Zhou Yan didn’t expose him, instead nodding. “It’s a nice place, small and charming, especially with you singing here.”
Liang Ruixi chucked “hehe” at the compliment, feeling much brighter.
Zhou Yan then asked, “Are you off tomorrow?”
“En, I’m off.” Liang Ruixi replied.
“Want to come over to my place tomorrow night?” Zhou Yan asked.
“Huh?” Liang Ruixi was surprised.
“Didn’t you say you’d visit me often?” Zhou Yan raised an eyebrow. “I waited a week, and you never showed up.”
Liang Ruixi thought, Wasn’t it because I worked all week? But then he remembered Wei Ran’s instructions, and a sense of responsibility rose within him. He changed his tune. “Yes, I’ll go to your place tonight.”
After Zhou Yan finished his drink, Liang Ruixi got up, said goodbye to Jiang Cheng, and prepared to leave. It was still raining outside, and Zhou Yan asked him, “Do you have an umbrella?”
Liang Ruixi pushed the door open and glanced out. “Just a drizzle, it’s fine.” He pulled up his hood and stepped out.
The two quickly walked to where Zhou Yan had parked his car. Once inside, Zhou Yan started the engine and turned on the defroster. Liang Ruixi rubbed his hands, sighing, “It’s so good to have a car.”
Zhou Yan smiled. He focused on driving once they were on the road and didn’t speak again. Liang Ruixi took the opportunity to pull out his phone and check for unread messages in the “Room 326 Gossip Group.”
In just two and a half hours, Wei Ran and Lu Jing had exchanged hundreds of messages. Liang Ruixi quickly skimmed through them, seeing that they had moved from discussing their respective work and studies to talking about housing prices and job benefits in Haicheng and Yancheng before circling back to Zhou Yan’s three major accomplishments: settling in Haicheng, buying a house, and starting a business.
Liang Ruixi knew about the “starting a business” part, but what was this about settling in and buying a house? Wasn’t the apartment Zhou Yan lived in rented?
“Did you buy a house in Haicheng?” Liang Ruixi couldn’t help but ask the man himself.
Zhou Yan calmly hummed in affirmation. Liang Ruixi then asked, “When? And what about your household registration?”
While driving, Zhou Yan explained, “Last year, I transferred my household registration through Yintian. I was worried about potential changes with a collective hukou in the future, and at that time, a development in the New East District had decent housing prices, so I bought a small apartment with a mortgage. But that place is far, so I don’t live there; it’s just for the hukou. For work, I still rent nearby.”
“How much was the down payment for the house?”
“Around a million.” Zhou Yan said, as if he were talking about a hundred yuan.
Liang Ruixi was shocked. Zhou Yan earning over a million in less than three years after graduation? Was this something an ordinary person could achieve?
Coincidentally, at a traffic light, Zhou Yan stopped the car and glanced at him. “How did you know I bought a house?”
Liang Ruixi snapped back to reality and stammered, “Uh, Wei Ran told me.”
Zhou Yan was unaware of their private group gossiping about him and didn’t ask further.
After the old classmates finished discussing Zhou Yan’s achievements, they began to analyze the melodramatic love story involving Jinwai, wondering why Xiao Zhi would reject their excellent President Zhou for that Xu Xinzheng. Perhaps utterly perplexed, Lu Jingtong ventured a bold guess: “Is it because Zhou Yan isn’t very good in bed?”
Spotting this sentence, Liang Ruixi was like a startled sloth, slowly widening his eyes, slowly turning his head to glance at the other party’s… crotch… he quickly averted his gaze, thinking, That shouldn’t be right…
The author has something to say:
[Little Interlude]
Liang Ruixi: That shouldn’t be right ah…
Zhou Yan: You know me so well? Have you tried?
