Chapter 31: Fluttering Heart
When Jin Yanliu arrived at the scene, a crowd was surrounding Zhou Beiyang. Lu Yao shouted outwards, “Where’s the doctor? Hasn’t he arrived yet?”
Jin Yanliu pushed through the crowd and saw Liu Qichang examining Zhou Beiyang’s injury. Zhou Beiyang’s lips were tightly pressed together, his expression showing slight pain. He looked up at Jin Yanliu.
“What happened?” Jin Yanliu’s face was filled with alarm.
“It’s nothing,” Zhou Beiyang said.
However, his hand was covered in blood, which startled Jin Yanliu.
“He hit a pillar during the fight scene,” Liu Qichang explained nervously. “It’s best not to move him. Let the doctor take a look.”
Zhou Beiyang had lost control while suspended on wires, crashing into a pillar. The bleeding hand wasn’t the main concern; his entire arm couldn’t move. Liu Qichang worried about a potential fracture, which would be serious.
Their film crew had an on-set doctor who arrived shortly after. After a preliminary check, the doctor decided to take Zhou Beiyang to the hospital for an X-ray.
Liu Qichang wanted to go along, but Jin Yanliu said, “You stay and look after the set. I’ll go with him.”
“Alright. Call me if anything happens.”
Jin Yanliu called Cheng Fei and Xiao Pangzi (Fatty Xiao) and they got into the car together. As the doctor disinfected and bandaged Zhou Beiyang’s wound, Jin Yanliu watched anxiously from the side, his heart clenching. He repeatedly told the doctor, “Be gentle, be gentle,” as if he were the one in pain.
Zhou Beiyang lowered his eyes slightly and said, “It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt much. It was just numb and unbearable earlier.”
Watching from the side, Cheng Fei thought to himself, Where can you find such a considerate man? He’s injured like this, yet he’s putting on a brave face to avoid worrying Jin Yanliu.
“Can you move your hand?” the doctor asked.
Zhou Beiyang extended his hand slightly. “It still hurts, but I can feel it.”
He finished speaking and looked up at Jin Yanliu, who was clearly distressed and worried. This expression comforted him, and he felt a sense of ease. He enjoyed having Jin Yanliu’s undivided attention, so he leaned back in his seat, feigning pain, and closed his eyes.
At the hospital, after the X-ray, it was confirmed there was no fracture. The doctor said he didn’t need to be hospitalized and could recover at home with a few days of rest.
However, the injury was to Zhou Beiyang’s right hand, which would significantly impact his daily life. Jin Yanliu asked Xiao Pangzi to contact Starlight Media to have Zhou Beiyang’s assistant, Xiao Huang, come over.
Zhou Beiyang disagreed. “I don’t like them following me around all the time. I don’t like people in my room either.”
Jin Yanliu knew about Zhou Beiyang’s severe OCD. He rarely even entered his own room.
“You need someone to take care of you now. It’ll be inconvenient. Why don’t you go home and let Aunt Zhou and the others look after you?”
“I don’t want them to know. Don’t tell them.”
Jin Yanliu then said, “So you mean you want me to take care of you?”
Zhou Beiyang replied, “I wouldn’t dare to have such extravagant hopes.”
(His tone was a mixture of委屈 (wei qu) – a feeling of being wronged or having suffered an injustice, 撒娇 (sa jiao) – acting like a spoiled child, and somewhat self-deprecating and dissatisfied.)
“I can’t take care of you either,” Jin Yanliu said. “Let Pangzi stay and look after you. Fortunately, it’s not serious, and you can manage your daily life.”
He still had a night shoot and planned to have dinner with Zhou Beiyang before returning to the set.
Zhou Beiyang’s sudden injury had truly frightened him. For a moment, he forgot all about his recent coldness and distance. Zhou Beiyang probably hadn’t slept much in the past two days, and coupled with the injury, he looked even more haggard. Jin Yanliu had never seen him like this before.
He genuinely felt heartache.
When did this kid develop such feelings for him? And he hid it so deeply.
Liu Qichang and the others came to visit during dinner. They ate together, and afterwards, everyone returned to the set.
After this incident, everyone was much more cautious during the action scenes. For some of the more dangerous stunts, they opted to use stunt doubles.
When Jin Yanliu returned from filming, it was already late at night. After showering, he sent a message to Zhou Beiyang: “Are you asleep?”
Zhou Beiyang replied instantly: “No.”
Jin Yanliu stared at his phone screen for a moment, then put on his clothes and went to Zhou Beiyang’s room.
As soon as he stepped out, he saw Lu Yao standing in front of Zhou Beiyang’s door, hands in his pockets, pacing in the corridor. Upon seeing Jin Yanliu, he immediately straightened up.
Jin Yanliu paused. “Came to see Beiyang?”
Lu Yao said, “No, I couldn’t sleep, so I came out for a walk.”
Jin Yanliu smiled. “I’m going to check on him. Come in with me. We can chat since you’re not sleeping anyway.”
Lu Yao pursed his lips and mumbled, “Mm.” “He’s still awake?”
“Yeah,” Jin Yanliu said, knocking on the door.
Zhou Beiyang opened the door and seemed surprised to see Lu Yao. Lu Yao asked, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Zhou Beiyang replied.
“Come in and talk,” Jin Yanliu said.
“No, you guys chat. I’ll wander around outside,” Lu Yao said, putting his hands back into his pockets and walking away.
Jin Yanliu glanced at his retreating figure, then turned back to look at Zhou Beiyang before entering the room.
After closing the door, he said, “Lu Yao really likes you.”
Zhou Beiyang simply replied, “Oh.”
Jin Yanliu asked, “How are you feeling? Does it still hurt?”
“Yes,” Zhou Beiyang said. “Are you hungry? Want a late-night snack? I have some here.”
Jin Yanliu actually was hungry.
He sat down and ate some cold dishes and drank a can of beer. He noticed several cigarette butts in the ashtray on the table. “Did you smoke these?”
Zhou Beiyang nodded. “I won’t smoke anymore.”
“I didn’t say you couldn’t. It’s up to you.” He then said, “Why does your arm still hurt? Should we go back to the hospital?”
“The doctor said it’s normal. It might hurt more tomorrow morning,” Zhou Beiyang said, attempting to raise his arm. “Moving it makes my entire right side ache.”
“Did you shower today?” He noticed Zhou Beiyang was still wearing the same clothes.
Zhou Beiyang shook his head. “It’s a bit inconvenient for me to shower now.”
“But your left arm is fine.”
“No,” Zhou Beiyang said, flexing his left arm. “Moving this side also engages the muscles on that side. It hurts just the same.”
Jin Yanliu remained silent, eating his food. After a while, he looked up, his eyes wary. “You don’t want me to help you shower, do you?”
Zhou Beiyang replied, “No, I won’t wash.”
“You’re so obsessed with cleanliness. Can you sleep without washing?”
Zhou Beiyang said, “I’ll fall asleep when I’m exhausted enough.”
He was a peculiar person. Apart from his family, he disliked being touched by others, and his cleanliness bordered on pathological. In his current state, hiring a caregiver seemed excessive, and he likely wouldn’t agree to it. But he hadn’t showered since the injury, and in this hot weather, he might start to smell.
Jin Yanliu put down his chopsticks and stood up. “Come on, come on, I’ll wash you.”
Zhou Beiyang remained seated. “No need to wash.”
“Will you wash or not?” Jin Yanliu raised an eyebrow.
Zhou Beiyang stood up and said in a low voice, “I feel sticky and uncomfortable… Just wipe me down.”
Jin Yanliu was always susceptible to this kind of behavior. He enjoyed playing the role of the older brother, and Zhou Beiyang rarely showed his childish side. So his occasional vulnerability and coquettishness made Jin Yanliu feel particularly gratified.
He helped Zhou Beiyang take off his shirt. As soon as it came off, Jin Yanliu couldn’t help but admire Zhou Beiyang’s physique.
His abs are so defined, and his chest muscles are so firm. He has a few scrapes, but they make him look even more manly.
He tried his best to act normal. The more normal he acted, the more he could convey to Zhou Beiyang that he considered him a younger brother.
Zhou Beiyang was now down to his shorts, his figure as perfect as a sculpture. It had been years since they last showered together. Even back then, Zhou Beiyang was developing rapidly, and now, catching a glimpse, Jin Yanliu noticed he’d developed further.
He took a wet towel and wiped Zhou Beiyang’s back. The towel wasn’t wrung out properly, and when he wiped with a bit of force, water dripped into Zhou Beiyang’s waistband, making it damp.
This kid’s butt is also quite nice, strong and well-shaped.
“I didn’t get injured on purpose.”
“What?”
“I didn’t deliberately injure myself so you would take care of me,” Zhou Beiyang said.
“I didn’t think that. Only an idiot would do that.”
Zhou Beiyang suddenly lifted his right arm slightly. It must have been painful because he hissed, his entire body tensing.
“What are you doing? Don’t move if it hurts,” Jin Yanliu said quickly.
“It’s good that it hurts. I’m afraid I’ll get hard,” Zhou Beiyang said.
Jin Yanliu: “…”
He suppressed his emotions and quickly finished wiping him down, tossing the towel into the sink. “Alright, I’m leaving.”
“Help me put on my pajamas,” Zhou Beiyang said.
Might as well finish what I started. Jin Yanliu fetched his pajamas. As he was helping him put them on, something “thumped” against Zhou Beiyang’s arm. Zhou Beiyang hissed again but didn’t speak. Jin Yanliu’s face flushed. “What dirty thoughts are you having?!”
Zhou Beiyang said, “I wasn’t thinking anything. I can’t control it.”
“Nothing? You can get a reaction just from putting on clothes?” Jin Yanliu finished dressing him and turned to leave.
Zhou Beiyang then said, “I really wasn’t thinking anything. Actually, I feel very distressed inside, but I don’t know why, whenever I feel extremely upset, this happens.”
He was telling the truth. He felt a kind of violent sexual urge, somewhat like angry sex, because this distress stemmed from the intense pain of unrequited love. The more distressed he was, the stronger the love became.
Jin Yanliu thought, Just like in “Taking Turns To Love”, he’s a lunatic.
He noticed Zhou Beiyang was becoming increasingly talkative and straightforward. He had truly changed. The obedient and sensible Zhou Beiyang he once knew was probably gone forever.
“I’m leaving,” he said.
“Do you really dislike me now?” Zhou Beiyang suddenly asked. “If you do, then don’t bother with me. I’m a pervert, and I won’t change just because you’re nice to me.”
Jin Yanliu turned back. “Why have you suddenly become like this?”
“I’ve always been like this,” Zhou Beiyang said. “Just go. Someone like me doesn’t deserve your concern.”
Jin Yanliu was furious and turned to leave. Zhou Beiyang continued, “You should be intimate with Yan Huihua. Your intimacy is like stabbing a knife into my heart. If you’re cruel enough, just keep stabbing. When you see him, think of me, think about why I had that accident today.”
“Zhou Beiyang!”
Zhou Beiyang suddenly stepped forward. “Brother, why don’t you care about me anymore?”
“You know I’m your brother.”
Zhou Beiyang’s eyes were red. “Forcibly kissing you that day was indeed wrong, but you didn’t have to deliberately be intimate with Yan Huihua in front of me. I have psychological problems, I’m a pervert, don’t provoke me.”
Jin Yanliu said, “Xiao Yang, I truly see you as a younger brother. It’s impossible for us to be romantically involved in this lifetime. If you continue like this, you won’t be in this drama anymore. I’ll replace you, and we won’t see each other again. This has nothing to do with Yan Huihua. I would do this even without him.”
Zhou Beiyang said, “You really do loathe me.”
He pursed his lips, his throat bobbing. “You’re not wrong. It’s best for you to stay away from a psycho like me, who knows what I might do.”
Jin Yanliu felt shaken. He was scorched by this intense love.
He walked straight out.
Back in his room, he summoned Xiao Ai.
“Darling!” Xiao Ai was as energetic as ever. “What can Xiao Ai do for you?”
“Nothing,” Jin Yanliu said, lying on the sofa, tired and melancholic. “Nothing really, just wanted to talk to you.”
“Darling, what’s wrong?”
“I’m thinking, Zhou Beiyang seems to really love me, and he’s really perverted,” Jin Yanliu said. “Should I change my transmigration strategy?”
“What do you mean?”
“Should I… indulge him a little before I get transmigrated?”
“Huh?!”
Xiao Ai was dumbfounded.
“Let me imagine what it would be like to sleep with him…” Jin Yanliu fantasized for a moment, then asked with sudden alarm, “Can you see the images in my mind?!”
“No, no, I can’t. Feel free to imagine,” Xiao Ai said, slightly excitedly.
Jin Yanliu thought about it, imagined Zhou Beiyang kissing him, and then imagined them lying in bed together.
Then he said, “I think… I don’t… Am I also a pervert?”
He didn’t feel disgusted.
“Do you know why?” Xiao Ai asked.
“Why?”
“Because your interaction pattern isn’t that of normal brothers. Zhou Beiyang has unconsciously made you accustomed to this somewhat romantic way of interacting. Although you see him as a younger brother, deep down you know he’s not your biological brother. This kind of familial affection is different from normal familial affection. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did after being forcibly kissed.”
That seemed… quite logical.
Jin Yanliu’s heart stirred.
“When someone is about to be replaced, usurped, do they particularly crave a sense of existence?” he asked Xiao Ai. “Seeing Zhou Beiyang become so strange, even a bit psychotic because of me, I feel annoyed, helpless, and angry, but also a kind of secret pleasure.”
A soul about to vanish, lonely and heartbroken, cold and afraid. This intense love was like a beam of light, illuminating and warming it, and thus, tempting it.
If it weren’t for the transmigration, if he had known about Zhou Beiyang’s feelings, his usual smooth-sailing, arrogant, and confident self would have definitely kicked Zhou Beiyang away. He wasn’t lacking in love, and vulnerability had nothing to do with him. Zhou Beiyang wouldn’t have stood a chance.
But at this moment, when he was putting on a brave face but was actually heartbroken and lonely, resentful and with nowhere to vent, this neurotic, crazy, even somewhat immoral love, had managed to tempt him.
His heart wavered.
He even had a very perverse and crazy thought.
