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ACDCOF Chapter 20 – Good Ye

Dark Green Combat Boots Follow Ye into Battle

A black-and-white cat was combing its cute bangs. The moment it made eye contact with Xu Ye, it quickly shrank its head back into the hole.

After a while, it was the first to look away, gazing aimlessly at the ceiling.

Xu Ye was stunned by this fleeting glance, marveling at the wonders of nature.

The patterns on the cat’s face were quite unique. Its fur was mostly white, with black fur neatly arranged above its eyes from left to right.

At first glance, it didn’t look much different from bangs, but upon closer inspection, it really was a set of bangs, so finely detailed that it mimicked the varying lengths of individual strands of hair.

Xu Ye knew this wasn’t very considerate, but she couldn’t help but chuckle. “Pfft.”

Cough. She quickly cleared her throat, raising one hand to wave in front of her nose and pretending to be puzzled, “This bathroom really stinks.”

The cat didn’t understand human speech, so she was trying to cover up her accidental laugh. Although the bathroom was very clean and there was no suffocating smell, it probably wasn’t as fortunate for this sensitive-nosed little cat.

Xu Ye lowered her hand and absentmindedly observed the cat’s head stuck in the hole, mentally analyzing how to rescue it. She didn’t dare focus her gaze, fearing that seeing those charming little bangs again would make her laugh uncontrollably.

This cat was relatively small, its entire body completely stuck in the hole, leaving only its humorous head exposed.

The toilet that was trapping it was pristine white, with no water or other debris in the hole, standing in stark contrast to the other toilet nearby, which showed clear signs of use.

She didn’t have time to observe further and took out her phone to send a message in the group.

[Xu Ye: @Liu Shuo, @Huo Shuyan, sorry to bother you, is anyone at the pet store? There’s a cat stuck in the toilet hole on the first floor.]

[Huo Shuyan: I just arrived at school, @Liu Shuo, where are you?]

Liu Shuo didn’t reply, so Xu Ye opened the bathroom door and stood at the entrance, glancing around the store. Her gaze landed on the only employee in the store who wasn’t busy.

A girl with twin ponytails had just finished arranging the cat food and was resting against a shelf. Xu Ye walked over and quietly said, “Sorry, there’s a cat stuck in your store’s… uh, toilet hole. Can you help get it out?”

The girl with the ponytails followed her to the bathroom. When she saw the cat’s head with bangs but no body, the air fell silent for a moment before an earth-shattering burst of laughter erupted.

“Hahahahaha!”

The sound of the hairdryer from the grooming area masked her laughter, and the only person who could hear it clearly was Xu Ye, who was standing right next to her.

Xu Ye carefully stepped back a few paces, thinking that her own laugh had been quite restrained.

The cat in the hole had already closed its eyes upon hearing the laughter, turning its head to the other side, choosing to avoid it.

Despite laughing, the girl with the ponytails didn’t stay idle. She was trembling with laughter as she reached into the hole to grab the cat.

She grabbed the sides of the cat’s head and pulled upwards, but the cat didn’t come out. Instead, the toilet was lifted two centimeters off the ground.

Xu Ye stared in shock as the toilet’s feet left the floor. She was in utter disbelief.

The toilet was so heavy, yet it had been lifted entirely; wasn’t the cat going to get its neck stuck?

The girl with the ponytails finally stopped laughing and turned to Xu Ye with a worried expression, “This is bad, it’s wearing the toilet.”

“Then what do we do now?”, Xu Ye looked at the cat’s head and realized this was no longer funny.

The girl with the ponytails thought for a moment, then instructed, “Beauty, you hold the toilet, and I’ll grab it.”

She added, “Ah, don’t worry, this is a new one, not an ordinary toilet. Or if you want, I can hold the toilet and you can grab the cat.”

Xu Ye wasn’t sure how to grab the cat’s head without hurting it, so she said, “It’s fine, I’ll hold it.”

She pressed one hand against the tank and one against the side of the toilet, realizing that it wasn’t made of ceramic or marble, but rather plastic.

The girl with the ponytails skillfully slipped her fingers behind the cat’s ears and gently grabbed its neck.

Xu Ye held her breath as she watched the girl with the ponytails lift the cat, but just then, a shocked shout came from the bathroom door, causing the girl to loosen her grip. Both of them turned their heads in unison.

“What the hell! Are you guys stealing poop?”

Liu Shuo barged into the bathroom, reeking of hotpot. The strange smell mixed with the bathroom air attacked Xu Ye’s sensitive nose, overwhelming her olfactory nerves. Liu Shuo, in shock, pointed at Xu Ye, then at the girl with the ponytails.

The girl with the ponytails, startled, pulled away from the toilet, “No, boss, the toilet you ordered just got delivered, I signed for it. Nai Nai went in and got stuck, We’re just trying to get it out.”

Liu Shuo’s surprise faded as he looked over at the sink area, where a new toilet sat, and there was indeed a cat’s head with a “peaceful life” expression on its face inside the toilet.

He slapped his forehead and suddenly understood, “Ah, I did order a training toilet.”

The three of them gathered around the toilet, staring at the cat named Nai Nai, who had played dead. Eventually, under Liu Shuo’s direction, Xu Ye and the girl with the ponytails lifted the toilet, and he horizontally pulled Nai Nai out.

The girl with the ponytails carried the rescued cat out, and Xu Ye looked around the bathroom, noticing that the pet store’s restroom had an odd layout.

There were two toilets side by side next to the sink, and beside the old toilet, there were two squat toilets placed side by side. In this tiny bathroom, there were four pits in total.

Her company’s 20-square-meter restroom only had two pits.

Xu Ye’s expression was a mix of confusion and amazement, and Liu Shuo explained, “It’s not what you’re thinking. Only the squat toilet on the left is usable. This new toilet is a dog training toilet. The old toilet over there is broken and hasn’t been thrown out yet, and the squat toilet on the right was an extra hole that the workers made when they were renovating, but it’s unusable.”

“Such a rich bathroom,” Xu Ye marveled. With one more pit, they could have five rows.

Liu Shuo effortlessly picked up the plastic training toilet, and they both walked out, closing the bathroom door behind them.

“This thing was custom-made for me. A customer went overseas and left her dog here, asking me to train it to use the toilet. I refused right away, I’m too busy. And even if the dog learns to use the toilet here, it probably won’t recognize the toilet at their home.”

Xu Ye pointed at the training toilet, “So you rejected it at that time?”

Liu Shuo gave a smile full of coppery greed, “She offered way too much.”

“The dog owner told me that I should train the dog, and if the dog learns to use the toilet at home, she’ll give me extra money. If not, she won’t deduct anything.”

“But the store only has this one toilet. There’s no way I’d let the dog train here. If it doesn’t mind, I do. So I ordered this plastic toilet.”

Xu Ye praised Liu Shuo’s professionalism, “Very high-end. By the way, did you ever find the gift the animals left for you?”

Liu Shuo lifted the toilet like a shield, “I didn’t find anything in the store. I’ll look again when I get home tonight. I don’t believe that with how handsome and kind I am, they wouldn’t leave me a single turd.”

Xu Ye grimaced, “You don’t have to be that desperate.”

She said goodbye to Liu Shuo, letting him know that Huo Yu had already taken Dai Dai and she should head home as well.

Xu Ye walked into the neighborhood, and along the way, she couldn’t resist opening the forum to see the follow-up of that post.

In the floor below the poster “Liquid Animal,” other netizens raised sincere questions.

【5F: So, did you explore whether cats are really liquid animals by climbing through the toilet pits?】

【6F: Hmm, I think cats are non-Newtonian fluids.】

Xu Ye read this sentence and for the second time today felt her brain shrinking. What new things are these little cats learning?

David, this world is just as you wished.

Scrolling down, the tone of the post gradually returned to the absurdly normal level of the forum with the poster’s ramblings.

【7F: Ah, someone’s here! I hope she sees me, don’t sit on my face!】

【8F: She saw me, but her gaze was so embarrassing, maybe I should just die.】

【9F: The human who scoops my poop came in, she’s mocking me, laughing so loudly! Damn, she’s even trying to pull me out by the root!】

【10F: Haha, I’m dead, three humans are visiting me.】

【11F: Haha, I’m alive again, goodbye to that stinky toilet!】

This chatty cat thoroughly described its experience of being stuck and then saved, and the sentence on floor eleven included a picture taken from its perspective of the toilet, showing Xu Ye and Liu Shuo’s half bodies without their faces.

Below this floor were more of its banter with other netizens.

【12F: How do you know she was mocking you? Did you secretly learn human language?】

【13F: Can’t I understand human speech even if I can’t speak it? Haha! Also, I can’t carry you, you fat 200-pound cat.】

Xu Ye nearly laughed herself dizzy on the sidewalk as she tried to suppress her body’s shaking and continued scrolling down.

【15F: Poster, you’re dirty now, you’re the little kitty who crawled through the toilet pit.】

【16F: Nonsense, there are four pits in this toilet, I chose a new one. I’ve never seen this toilet before, no one has used it.】

【17F: You crawled into a clean pit, so you’re not dumb.】

【18F: Call him smart, he crawls into toilets. Call him dumb, he knows how to choose a clean toilet.】

【19F: Hmm? Isn’t this the training tool the shopkeeper bought for the new dog? Why not just give the dog a forum account, we can teach it how to use the toilet.】

Xu Ye walked slowly, finishing all the replies under this post, and jotted down the particularly humorous netizen IDs in her memo.

When she got home, she planned to go through the posts of the cat mom “Miao Miao” and these netizens, and also check if this “Nai Nai,” the cat with bangs, had posted any pictures.

Who could resist a selfie from a cat with bangs!

After getting home, Xu Ye tidied up her room and took out some of the special products Wei Lin had brought, placing them on the shoe cabinet.

She didn’t like coffee and couldn’t finish it, so she could bring some to the pet store for her brothers and sisters tomorrow.

She was happily distributing the gifts while also brewing a cup of coffee to savor. Just then, the message alert on her phone rang loudly.

Xu Ye opened her phone and saw Liu Shuo had tagged her in six or seven messages in the group chat, and a bad premonition hit her again.

She remembered the last time Liu Shuo tagged her like this was when she almost exposed herself on the forum.

【Liu Shuo: @Xu Ye, you’re not in the world, but the world is full of your legends.】

【Liu Shuo: @Xu Ye, go check out that post.】

【Liu Shuo: @Xu Ye, sometimes I think you could change your style a bit, like change your shoes.】

【Liu Shuo: (Screenshot)】

Xu Ye picked up her phone and clicked into that post. In such a short time, the post was as lively as a New Year celebration.

Her former aliases appeared frequently in many of the replies, and even after so many days, netizens still couldn’t forget the mysterious Good Ye.

【26F: Huh? I’ve seen this human before, isn’t she the one who saved me? She seems to be Good Ye’s owner. I haven’t seen Good Ye in a long time, I miss him.】

Xu Ye glanced at the poster’s ID, and it turned out to be Snowball, who had gone to the cat section to have fun.

It seems Snowball had quickly gotten over the round-head shadow and chosen to infiltrate the cat world.

【31F: I also think she looks familiar, aren’t they the two who rescued me from the sewer? So this sister is Good Ye’s owner? Who knows Good Ye? I want to make a friend with this netizen, regardless of species.】

Even the Chinese rural dog had come to the cat section, and the day when cats and dogs could live in harmony seemed to be getting closer.

【40F: I know this one too, isn’t this the sister who came to play with me in the shop? Oh, she was the one who opened the trash can lid and saw me. Good Ye? I haven’t seen that netizen.】

This was the reply from the tabby cat.

The few animals Xu Ye had rescued were now gathered together in this post, forming a table of mahjong. She was the unlucky one, about to lose all her aliases.

【56F: Are friends from floors 26, 31, and 40 still here? I have a question, how did you recognize her from a photo without a face?】

【60F: Replying to floor 56, I still remember those green shoes, the left shoe lace had three knots and a bow, the right shoe toe was all scraped off. There’s no such thing as two identical leaves, and there’s no pair of shoes exactly the same.】

The Chinese rural dog clearly and vividly explained how it recognized Xu Ye, and Snowball and the tabby cat also agreed that they had a strong impression of those shoes.

The photo was of Xu Ye’s damn unique olive green Martin boots, which her father had brought from abroad, and they hadn’t been seen anywhere else.

Actually, she didn’t wear those shoes every day, but strangely enough, every time she rescued cats and dogs, those boots always went along for the ride.

Their memory was so good, they should be made to take the full set of the Gaokao.[mfn]Tl’s note: Chinese university entrance exams.[/mfn]

At the very end, two posts nearly sent Xu Ye’s soul flying out of her body, and she almost performed CPR on herself.

【80F: Good Ye was very serious about posting, I used to see her comments under many posts. She’s been silent these days, what happened? Also, why can’t I find her ID?】

【81F: Whoa, don’t worry, I just found Good Ye’s comment in one of my old posts. When I clicked into it, I saw she changed her name. She’s now called Xiao Bai.】

This isn’t fair, the photo clearly had two people in it, why is the focus always on her?

Xu Ye, tearful, typed in the group chat.

【Xu Ye: @Huo Shuyan, maybe you should just delete me.】

【Xu Ye: No, maybe you should just delete my forum account.】

 

The author has something to say:

Xu Ye: Oh, I exposed myself, oh, I didn’t, oh, I exposed myself again, oh, did I or didn’t I?

(The author mysteriously leaves with hands behind her back)

 

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Comment

  1. loquentes ineptias says:

    Pfft. Schrodinger account (sock puppet).

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