What a bold game, daring to attempt to make her eat President David’s brain!
Her older brother is still going to send his kitten to take the college entrance exam—how could such a precious brain be eaten by a foolish human like her?
Although Xu Ye doesn’t know if Plants vs Zombies has developed a two-player mode, just from the game’s loading page with a duet ID and these few system messages, she could tell that the version she and David were playing must be a pirated game.
David might still be in the game, so Xu Ye sent him a private message.
【Xiao Bai: President David, I’ve seen others play this game, and the one we’re playing now is a pirated version. How about we switch to another game?】
【Xiao Bai: I heard playing pirated games all the time makes you dumber.】
After sending the message, she waited for a full two minutes but received no reply from David.
David usually replies to her private messages almost instantly when he’s awake.
Could it be that after she exited, the system automatically took over the zombie character, and David thought she was still in the game, diligently planting pea shooters to protect his brain?
Xu Ye shook her head, trying to shake off the cute image of David, with his chubby little cat paws, struggling to dig and plant flowers.
She opened the admin’s post, planning to check if David was still in the game.
The game collection in the post had finally been updated. It no longer listed the pirated 4399 and 7k7k, but instead, it had become “Games More Suitable for Forum Users.”
What a heartwarming title, so fitting for this forum.
The games listed were all quite normal, mostly browser-based games she had seen before, with a few of the current popular mobile games.
When she reached the Plants vs Zombies icon, the name of the game nearly blinded her.
【Plants vs Zombies: Two-player Break-up Edition】
Xu Ye: ?
There was also a brief game description:
【Are you still troubled by unreliable friendships? Click to start the game, kick over the boat of friendship, and from now on, the wind is the wind, the rain is the rain, and you are beautifully alone!】
Xu Ye was sure that, based on her life-or-death bond with David formed through games like Dumb Miner and Forest Fire and Ice, David wouldn’t have chosen this game to break up with her. She would have to explain to him what “break up” meant.
She clicked on the game, and the familiar Plants vs Zombies interface appeared. The zombies’ eerie howls floated through the background music. Despite the normal-looking graphics, the game’s unusual title meant it was bound to be an extraordinary game.
At the top of the screen, there were two system messages:
【Player · [Xiao Bai] is reconnecting… Please take the game seriously and eat David’s brain. If you don’t work hard, how can you break up with a friend?】
【Player · [David] has disconnected… This player refuses to even act, the system suggests zombie players quickly break up with David!】
She knew it! This game was absurd, even stirring up trouble in relationships.
Xu Ye closed the game. Since David wasn’t playing, why hadn’t he replied to her message? Was something wrong with him?
She felt a little worried and opened the private chat to ask again, when David’s message popped up:
【David: Haha, the little crayfish put on her grandmother’s dress and flew to Mars overnight.】
【Xiao Bai: …?】
【Xiao Bai: President David, if you’ve been kidnapped, blink your eyes.】
【David: Take— a cup of water from the sky! Hey! Hey!】
Does playing pirated games lower a kitten’s IQ?
Xu Ye hesitated, her fingers hovered over the keyboard for a while, not knowing how to respond. What if her President David really had become foolish?
Just as she was unsure, another message from David arrived. This time it was completely normal, with the familiar tone:
【David: Damn, this game is insane. It’s even dumber than Gold Miner. This has to be a 3D game, those two names spinning around nearly made me dizzy. I almost ended up in the litter box, just recovered from that. Luckily, my little brother was too busy gaming to see me, or he would’ve had to take me to the hospital again.】
【David: Damn game, it’s giving me a headache.】
【Xiao Bai: Someone, delete this game for Boss David!】
Xu Ye sympathized with her poor President David and vented her anger on his behalf. Just holding the phone for a bit made her dizzy, let alone imagining how the game would appear in the minds of cats and dogs.
David didn’t ask Xu Ye if she felt dizzy either, he just angrily criticized the stupid game.
[David: I really feel like my brain is all shaken up.】
[David: When I was feeling dizzy from the dizziness, I vaguely saw a system notification at the top. It told me: “Your task is—don’t let the Xiao Bai eat your brain!!! This is the last game before breaking up, please take it seriously! What does ‘breaking up’ mean?”]
[Xiao Bai: It means we are cutting ties, no longer in contact with each other.]
[David: What does ‘cutting ties’ and ‘no longer in contact’ mean?]
[Xiao Bai: It means we sever all relations and will never meet again.]
[David: Never meet again, I understand. What does ‘sever all relations’ mean?]
Xiao Bai: ……
Xu Ye went back and reread her explanation to David, wondering when her vocabulary had become so rich. She had learned to use a term that a little kitten would find hard to understand to explain another term that a little kitten would find hard to understand?
David’s cultural level had already surpassed the forum users by a step, but in such a short time, it was impossible for it to master all the idioms.
She put together simple words and explained the meaning of “breaking up” in easy-to-understand language to David.
[Xiao Bai: It means not being friends anymore, and never seeing each other again.]
David understood and angrily continued to condemn:
[David: Hah, daring to try to destroy the sibling bond between me and the little girl, looking for death?]
[Xiao Bai: You’re so domineering, I love it.]
[David: Let’s not talk about it, I’ll rest for a bit and we’ll play again later.]
[Xiao Bai: Okay, good afternoon, Mr. Dai.]
She exited the forum and opened the group chat to complain about that brain-dead game.
[Liu Shuo: Hahaha, I feel sorry for you—don’t forget to water your shoes while playing the game!]
[Huo Shuyan: Alright, I’ve removed the miner, and now it’s all serious games except for Plants vs Zombies. The games I posted before were based on my personal preferences and didn’t consider the users’ opinions, so I’ve been working on a game that I think would be perfect for the users. It’s finally done, and it’ll be online at 3 PM today. If you have time, you can play with the users and see if there’s anything that needs improvement.]
[Foolish Ye: Okay, thank you so much!]
Xu Ye was looking forward to this new game, and her joyful mood prompted her to open her personal information. She directly stole the former ID of the forum’s border collie and changed her Feixin name to “Very Happy Today.”
As she was about to log off Feixin from the background, she saw a message from a familiar stranger in the message list.
[The owner of the cat who thinks I made her look very slim and beautiful: Is the beautiful lady online? After I posted your photo on my Moments, a friend asked me for the photographer’s contact and said he wanted to pay you to take a few photos of his cat. If you’re willing, I’ll refer him to you. If it’s inconvenient, I’ll let him know. He’s a good guy with a great temper, and he lives in our neighborhood.]
After Xu Ye went home that day, she sent the photos of the cat Da Bai to its owner. Their previous chat had only consisted of “Thank you” and “It’s nothing, you’re welcome,” since she was just casually taking pictures for fun, and she had declined the red envelope the cat’s owner sent her.
Xu Ye’s eyes sharpened as she scanned the long message from the cat’s owner, focusing on the words “take photos of the cat” and “for payment.”
[Very Happy Today: Yes, please be sure to refer my business card to him.]
She never expected that after graduating for so many years, she could still make some money from her past hobby of photography!
She silently crossed out “little fish money” in her mind and replaced it with “food money,” realizing that today was truly a happy day.
“y” has requested to add you as a friend:
[Note: Hello, sorry to bother you, I’d like to book a photo session for my cat.]
Xu Ye opened the Feixin photography group, referenced the pricing of other users at her level, and then downloaded a popular booking app for photo sessions.
This app was very professional, with detailed rules about taking orders and paying taxes. After preparing everything, she accepted y’s friend request.
y quickly agreed to Xu Ye’s quoted price, and the two completed the preliminary procedures for the photo session on the app.
[y: I’ll pay you the deposit first, as I’m a bit busy lately. Can we schedule the shoot for later?
[Very Happy Today: Alright.]
David still hadn’t sent a message. Xu Ye called to check on her parents, read for a while, then lay down on the bed and closed her eyes for an afternoon nap.
When she woke up and picked up her phone, David had sent a few excited messages in quick succession.
[David: Girl! I just saw that the game in the post was updated, and it looks really interesting! Want to play it?]
[David: Are you busy now? If you’re free, message me, I’ll take a quick nap. Don’t worry, I’ll reply to your messages immediately.]
[David: (Little Cat Domineering.jpg)]
Xu Ye didn’t reply to David’s message. She planned to check whether the game in the post was serious before responding.
A small collection of games featured a brand new game with an icon of a chibi black cat, identical to the profile picture of Huo Shuyan.
[Hide and Seek]
[A multiplayer interactive game enjoyed by humans (forum members only)]
Game rules:
After selecting a room and map, players form teams of at least two (no upper limit to the number of players).
The system randomly selects a “Cat Catcher” player. If the “Cat Catcher” manages to find more than half of the total players within the time limit, they win.
Otherwise, the first player caught becomes the next “Cat Catcher.”
The rules of this game looked very formal, and the black cat icon looked very similar to the one Huo Shuyan had.
After confirming it, she realized this was a legitimate game created by Huo Shuyan.
She double-checked with the group and then confidently sent a message to David:
[Xiao Bai: Big brother, I’m here! This game looks really fun. Should we play just the two of us, or call some more cat friends?]
[David: Let’s call some friends and play. The more cat players, the more fun the game is. Otherwise, the Cat Catcher only finds one cat, and that’s boring.]
Though David didn’t say it directly, his eager tone made Xu Ye feel he really wanted to be the Cat Catcher.
[Xiao Bai: I’ll go call the Cake Hand brothers. Wait a moment, President David.]
Unfortunately, the Cake Hand brothers were out for a walk with their owner and wouldn’t be available to play until the evening.
Xu Ye passed the bad news along to David, and the keen-eyed David noticed a new rule in the game:
[David: I just took a closer look, and there’s another rule: “This game allows random matching with other players, no limits to cats or dogs. Please play civilly and harmoniously with other players.” Once we enter the game, we can check the “Allow other players to join” box, and it won’t just be the two of us.]
[Xiao Bai: Then let’s try it.]
The game had just gone live, and it was unclear whether other players could be matched.
David guided her into the game room, and after clicking “Start Game,” the system prompted players to choose their avatars.
There were two categories: cats and dogs, with a wide range of common animals to choose from.
Xu Ye originally wanted to guess what kind of cat David would choose based on his selection, but David didn’t follow the usual path. He immediately chose a massive, pitch-black, fierce yet kind Tibetan Mastiff, almost identical to the “Tiger” puppy they had earlier.
Xu Ye was touched and quickly selected a red-brown Tibetan Mastiff. David, seeing this, was equally moved:
[David: As expected, you’re my girl.]
They clicked “Start,” and the two of them entered the game smoothly. The system’s prompts popped up one by one:
[Matching other players…]
[Matching successful, current player count: 8]
[Randomly selecting Cat Catcher…]
[The Cat Catcher is: Xiao Bai]
[Please select a map, Cat Catcher.]
David wasn’t chosen as the Cat Catcher, and though a little disappointed, he was also happy:
[David: Not bad, my girl and I are in sync.]
Xu Ye scrolled through the maps. She thought it was a shame that Huo Shuyan wasn’t a game developer, as the maps were beautifully designed and looked very interesting.
Eventually, she chose the “Secret Realm Elf” map.
After confirming her choice, the phone’s screen changed to a forest sparkling with orange-yellow fireflies. The map was roughly the size of a King’s Canyon but displayed in a first-person view.
The eight players who entered the map were gathered in an open area. There were a Pomeranian, a Corgi, a Maine Coon, and a black cat, all crowded around Xu Ye and David’s feet, weak and helpless, typing on the public screen:
[Lulu: Oh no! These two are really heavyweights! Choosing such large breeds for hide and seek, do you think you can hide and not be found?]
[Little Cloud: I’m so nervous, I’m afraid they’ll stomp me flat.]
The two large Tibetan Mastiffs, one black and one red, stood tall like two door gods, taking up nearly half of the screen space.
[David: This was my oversight, but it’s no big deal.]
[Katie Meow: You should’ve chosen a character that blends in with the map, like me. Here’s a hint, I’m to the right of the Corgi.]
To the right of the Corgi, there was nothing but a small white flower swaying in the breeze.
Wait, a small white flower…
Xu Ye grabbed a magnifying glass from the coffee table, squinting her eyes, and discovered a tiny white dog next to the Corgi’s right foot.
It had a nose and eyes, so it was definitely a little dog.
She clicked on the small dog’s model, and a line of text popped up:
[This player’s appearance is: Flower Dog (designer’s original breed)]
Really blended into the map.
Message from the author:
Xu Ye enjoyed the game created by Huo Shuyan and also helped him test it, a win-win situation.
The people in this story are all wonderful, and the cats and dogs are lovely. There are no strange characters here. As the district mayor of a prosperous and beautiful city, the author is dedicated to creating a harmonious community where humans and nature coexist, striving to be a model of civility for the whole city.
