After late spring, it was autumn again in Lan City.
Every time the weather changed, Cen Lingqiu became very sensitive to the cold, always liking to be near all sorts of warm things: heaters, the sun, hot water, and now, Yu Mingjiao.
Yu Mingjiao’s body was always very warm year-round. In the summer, she occasionally liked to cling to her, and Cen Lingqiu would feel like she was dying from the heat every time. But when the cold season arrived, this clinginess became very warm.
Cen Lingqiu especially liked to squeeze her hands or hold hands with her. Yu Mingjiao had been very well-behaved recently, tacitly complying with all her actions.
Cen Lingqiu always felt that she was becoming more and more like a beautiful, docile cat, which was very different from her past self.
Many times, she would have the illusion that she and Yu Mingjiao had known each other for many years.
As soon as the weather turned cold, the two of them became even more inseparable.
But for the next few days, they couldn’t stick together. A high-end luxury jewelry brand from France had invited Yu Mingjiao to a jewelry appreciation banquet. Many famous designers from all over the world would be there, and this was important for Yu Mingjiao.
Yu Mingjiao was someone who didn’t like to go out, let alone go abroad alone. She wanted Cen Lingqiu to accompany her, but Cen Lingqiu was being dragged by Zhang Li to a famous traditional Chinese medicine hospital for physical therapy. Zhang Li was always afraid that something would happen to Cen Lingqiu’s health, so she was very forceful in making her go.
Cen Lingqiu couldn’t refuse a mother’s good intentions and found it hard to decline.
After Yu Mingjiao found out, although she was very reluctant, she also wanted Cen Lingqiu to be healthy, so she didn’t throw a tantrum.
Cen Lingqiu looked at her gloomy and sullen appearance. It was obvious she was very unhappy, yet her face was still forcing a look of cold indifference and calm.
She found it amusing, pinched her cheek, and said in a light and gentle tone, “Don’t be unhappy. Aren’t you coming back soon?”
Yu Mingjiao’s fair and delicate face began to flush red from the light pinch. She turned her face away, not wanting to show Cen Lingqiu the overly childish, angry expression on her face.
Cen Lingqiu cupped her face, turned it back towards her, and smiled. “Still a child, such a child.”
Yu Mingjiao’s lips pouted slightly from being cupped. She had been well taken care of by Cen Lingqiu recently. Her cheeks were starting to fill out again, and her complexion was no longer a bloodless pale but a healthy, snowy white. Her beautifully shaped lips were moist and vermilion.
Her already beautiful face gained a touch more magnificence; every frown and smile carried a rich and splendid glamour.
Long, smooth black hair, straight black bangs, white skin, and red lips—she looked just like a porcelain doll in a display window.
Cen Lingqiu was immensely satisfied by this more than once. Such a beautiful person had been slowly nursed back to health by her. Yu Mingjiao, who was cold and gloomy towards everyone else, would only throw little tantrums in front of her, relying on her like a clingy, adorable puppy.
She really liked this differential treatment from Yu Mingjiao.
It gave her the wonderful feeling of being valued and needed.
“When I get back—” Yu Mingjiao held her hand, unconsciously nuzzling her cheek against her palm. “I want to watch a movie.”
Cen Lingqiu felt an inexplicable sense of pleasure from her intimate gesture. She reached out to pinch her earlobe again. “Okay, what do you want to watch?”
Yu Mingjiao didn’t hesitate. “The Black Flower.”
Cen Lingqiu was taken aback for a moment. It took her a while to realize this was the movie she had started watching with Yu Mingjiao for the first time half a year ago, but they hadn’t finished it.
“You still haven’t finished it?” Cen Lingqiu asked.
Yu Mingjiao looked up, watching her calmly. “Didn’t you say we’d watch it together when you got back?”
She was stunned.
“You’ve been waiting specifically for me to come back to watch it together?”
“Mhm.”
Cen Lingqiu lowered her head and smiled.
This surprised her. It was just a casual remark from half a year ago, yet someone had remembered it and had been abiding by it all this time.
In her twenty-plus years of life, who would have cared so much about a trivial remark of hers? After all, even she herself had almost forgotten what she had said in the past.
It was as if a butterfly had flown into her heart, stirring up a spring rain in her barren soul.
She seemed to sigh with delight, then said warmly, “Okay, when you get back, we’ll watch it together.”
Before Yu Mingjiao boarded her flight, Cen Lingqiu went to the airport to see her off, giving her some travel advice. It had the distinct feeling of an adult instructing a fragile child.
That fragile child also nodded obediently, listening.
“Well then, remember to enjoy yourself.” Cen Lingqiu patted her head. “I hope you have a good time. Goodbye.”
“Don’t say goodbye,” Yu Mingjiao said abruptly.
Cen Lingqiu didn’t understand. “Hm?”
She didn’t want to hear such parting words from Cen Lingqiu’s mouth.
Half a year ago, every time they parted, she always liked to say goodbye.
Goodbye.
See you tomorrow.
And then it was never see you again.
If she hadn’t woken up, they truly would have never been able to see each other again.
She didn’t want that.
But seeing Cen Lingqiu’s confused expression, Yu Mingjiao felt there was no need to say it out loud. After all, she had already woken up and wouldn’t leave again.
Yu Mingjiao shook her head. “It’s nothing.”
“I’m leaving.”
“Okay,” Cen Lingqiu said. She didn’t say goodbye, just waved at her.
Yu Mingjiao gave her a deep look and left.
While Cen Lingqiu was at the hospital for physical therapy, she received a message from Yu Mingjiao.
—I’ve arrived.
Cen Lingqiu typed.
—Okay, be safe. Call me if anything happens.
The day after Yu Mingjiao left, Cen Lingqiu felt a long-lost sense of emptiness.
There was no one beside her to warm her hands, no one to hug her waist and act spoiled, and without Yu Mingjiao’s angry, cold voice and her temperamental face, it suddenly became much quieter.
Cen Lingqiu was a little unaccustomed to it.
At the same time, she started to worry about how Yu Mingjiao was doing in Paris. After all, her mobility was limited, and she didn’t know if she could get used to a place where she knew no one and nothing.
Cen Lingqiu was very much like a mother worrying whether her child was safe and sound while away.
Seeing her like this, Wen Zhi said, “Do you have to be like this? Anyone who didn’t know better would wonder what on earth Yu Mingjiao went off to do. Just look at you.”
Cen Lingqiu shot her a glance, took a sip of her drink, and didn’t want to bother with her.
“Hey, I’m telling you, if you’re really that worried, I happen to have a job for you.” Wen Zhi offered a solution. “A friend of mine who runs a pharmaceutical company is going to France for a medical conference soon. The conference needs a simultaneous interpreter, and that’s exactly what you do. You can go.”
Cen Lingqiu’s eyes lit up. She chuckled lightly and clinked her glass against Wen Zhi’s. “Thanks. The drinks are on me tonight.”
“Then I’ll have to drink my fill.”
Yu Mingjiao didn’t like Paris. The streets smelled unpleasant, the crowds were unfamiliar, and Cen Lingqiu wasn’t in this country. She didn’t like it.
When she arrived in Paris, aside from necessary work meetings, she stayed in her hotel and didn’t go out at all. She had no interest in the country’s scenery.
She only liked staying in the hotel and video-calling Cen Lingqiu.
Her light voice, her words of advice, the faint smile on her face—all of it made her feel incredibly at ease in a foreign land.
On her first day in Paris, she couldn’t sleep due to insomnia, so Cen Lingqiu kept a video call open and stayed with her all night.
And that night, Yu Mingjiao didn’t suffer from insomnia again.
She knew she was very dependent on Cen Lingqiu now. Yu Mingjiao didn’t think there was anything wrong with that. She could sense Cen Lingqiu’s indulgence towards her, and she believed Cen Lingqiu cared about her too.
Cen Lingqiu wouldn’t leave her.
She wouldn’t have another accident and fall into a coma.
She wanted Cen Lingqiu to stay with her just like this, forever.
This idea was utterly absurd, completely contradicting her initial intention of wanting this woman to die.
But what could she do about it?
She just wanted to see Cen Lingqiu every day. She wanted Cen Lingqiu’s gaze to be on her every moment of every day. She wanted to receive more of her concern.
This crazed, paradoxical emotion grew even deeper in a foreign country. She even dreamed of her every night.
After waking up, there was only her violently pounding heart.
And the strange, wonderful desire in her heart.
She wanted to see Cen Lingqiu. She wanted to, madly.
The jewelry appreciation exhibition was to be held for four or five days. On this day, she was dragged by a female Russian designer to admire a church in Paris. Yu Mingjiao didn’t want to go, but this designer really liked her and was super enthusiastic, insisting on dragging her along.
It could be said that Yu Mingjiao was forcibly dragged there by her.
The church they went to was called the Sacré-Cœur Basilica. It was very crowded. Inside, people were praying. The Russian designer was very interested, but Yu Mingjiao was not. While the designer was engrossed, she slipped outside the church.
It was already autumn in France. The vast plane trees were beginning to shed their yellow leaves. It was a sunny day, the fallen leaves had golden halos, and many people were sitting on the steps outside the church.
Yu Mingjiao found a shady, less crowded spot and looked at her phone. The last message between the two of them was from three hours ago.
Cen Lingqiu had asked if she had gone anywhere fun.
Yu Mingjiao told her the truth, and then the two of them hadn’t chatted since.
Out of loneliness, she kept scrolling through their chat history.
The more she read, the more she missed that person.
She wanted to go home.
She wanted to talk to that person.
These thoughts grew almost ferociously in the foreign country.
Suddenly, her phone rang. It was a call from Cen Lingqiu. She answered it.
Cen Lingqiu called her name, “Jiao Jiao.”
Yu Mingjiao pressed her lips together and hummed in acknowledgment.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t know.”
“Hahahahaha,” Cen Lingqiu laughed. “What kind of nonsense are you talking about?”
“Is it cold in Paris?” Cen Lingqiu asked again.
Yu Mingjiao was about to say it was fine, but the words changed as they reached her lips. “Cold.”
“If it’s cold, why are you wearing so little?”
Yu Mingjiao was confused, not understanding the reason behind Cen Lingqiu’s words. Then she heard Cen Lingqiu’s next sentence.
“Jiao Jiao, that plane tree to your left is really beautiful.”
Yu Mingjiao’s pupils contracted. She turned her head to look.
Cen Lingqiu was standing by a plane tree a few meters away. She was wearing a khaki-colored belted trench coat, her hair had been cut shorter into a neat, shoulder-length brown bob, and she wore a pair of silver hoop earrings.
Standing next to the giant, golden plane tree, she seemed to be steeped in the cool, desolate plane leaves, looking aloof and clean.
She maintained her posture of being on the phone, waved in Yu Mingjiao’s direction, and a smile touched the corners of her lips.
In that instant, all joy rushed back into her body. Yu Mingjiao felt a dream-like happiness.
Cen Lingqiu quickly walked to her side.
“We meet again, Jiao Jiao.”
Yu Mingjiao excitedly pressed her lips together. She didn’t say anything, just hugged her waist and nuzzled against her like a puppy wagging its tail.
This person always seemed to appear whenever she was lonely.
Cen Lingqiu patted her head. “Alright, alright, why are you acting like a little puppy?”
While they were talking, the Russian designer found Yu Mingjiao and asked why she had come outside.
Yu Mingjiao gave her a random excuse in English.
The Russian woman saw Cen Lingqiu and curiously asked who this woman was.
Cen Lingqiu answered her, saying in English that she was Yu Mingjiao’s older sister.
The Russian woman nodded, said “Oh, oh,” a few times, and seeing that Yu Mingjiao had company, she went back to the church to explore on her own.
Yu Mingjiao and Cen Lingqiu walked along a plane tree-lined street in France, chatting slowly. Cen Lingqiu told her the reason she had come to Paris.
“These past few days without you, I always felt like something was missing.” Cen Lingqiu stepped on the plane leaves, creating a crisp crunching sound all along the way.
Yu Mingjiao spoke in a tentative tone, “You’re not used to it?”
“A little.”
“You—” Yu Mingjiao opened her mouth, wanting to ask something, but didn’t dare.
Cen Lingqiu: “What do you want to say?”
She wanted to ask if Cen Lingqiu also thought about her the way she thought about Cen Lingqiu, but that question was too ambiguous and strange. Her relationship with Cen Lingqiu wasn’t suitable for such a question.
But, why couldn’t she ask it?
Yu Mingjiao started overthinking again.
She wanted to ask that question.
But she didn’t dare to ask it.
If she said no…
Yu Mingjiao felt she might go crazy on the spot.
But then again, why was she having such thoughts?
Could such feelings exist between her and Cen Lingqiu?
Yu Mingjiao wanted to know the root of these inexplicable emotions that coiled in her heart.
She was like a hesitant wooden puppet, only daring to hide in a closet and mutter to herself.
Yu Mingjiao changed the subject. “Are you cold?”
Cen Lingqiu wanted to joke with her. “Very cold.”
She held out her hand. “If you hold my hand, I’ll be warm.”
She was just teasing Yu Mingjiao. Yu Mingjiao was someone who cared a lot about face and didn’t like to be overly intimate with people in public, so she didn’t expect Yu Mingjiao to actually take her hand.
After teasing Yu Mingjiao, she was about to pull her hand back, but in the next second, her cold hand was held by a pair of warm, soft hands.
Yu Mingjiao lifted her eyelids, her gaze pure and calm.
“What’s wrong? Weren’t you the one who asked me to hold it?”
Cen Lingqiu turned her face away and smiled, then turned back. “Nothing’s wrong. Let’s just hold hands then. Don’t let go.”
Yu Mingjiao shook her head. “I won’t.”
Cen Lingqiu sat in a vast park of plane trees, holding hands with Yu Mingjiao, watching the falling leaves fill the sky and chatting leisurely.
On the surface, both were calm and serene. Only their clasped hands began to sweat slightly, but neither let go.
It wasn’t that they had never held hands before, but those were only brief moments, more for the sake of warmth. This time, however, holding hands had lost that simple meaning. It was mixed with more emotions that were unclear and frightening.
Because it was too vague and unsettling, like an unknown answer on a college entrance exam question that no one dared to confirm, neither of them spoke.
The hidden, timid emotions between the woman and the girl were silently buried along with the yellow falling leaves.
A gust of wind blew, and the fallen leaves drifted far away.
That day, Cen Lingqiu had to go to a place called “one Mansion” for a translation job. She had mentioned to Yu Mingjiao during their chat that she would be working there in the afternoon and would go to the restaurant to wait for her after she finished.
The two had arranged to have dinner together at a very famous French restaurant that evening.
The meeting was in the afternoon. Cen Lingqiu felt hungry, so she went out of the hotel to find a restaurant to eat. When she returned, she saw one of the organizers she was with carrying a huge pile of things. The organizer was small, and the items almost buried her.
Seeing Cen Lingqiu, the organizer quickly called out to her, “Lin Qiu, come help me. I really can’t carry all this.”
Lin Qiu put her phone in her coat pocket and helped her carry some of the things to her room.
Finally in the room, the organizer panted, “Thanks, Lin Qiu.”
Cen Lingqiu: “No problem.”
“By the way, Lin Qiu, the organizers suddenly changed their minds and moved the conference to a different location. It’s very far, so to avoid being late, we have to leave now.”
“Right now?”
“Yes, go to your room and get your materials and bag quickly. We’re leaving now. We’re a bit tight on time.”
“Mhm.” Cen Lingqiu returned to her room. It was very hot in Paris today, and the coat Cen Lingqiu was wearing was very thick, so she changed into a thin jacket.
After changing, she felt like she had forgotten something but couldn’t immediately recall what it was. Just then, the organizer urged her from outside, so she didn’t have time to think and left the room.
As soon as Cen Lingqiu got in the car, she covered her face and started to sleep. She had been out late with Yu Mingjiao the previous night and hadn’t slept much.
Halfway through the journey, Cen Lingqiu wanted to check the time and felt her pockets. They were empty.
Only then did she remember that she had left her phone in the pocket of that coat and had forgotten to take it out.
It wasn’t realistic to go back for it now. She’d get it after she was done.
When she arrived at the location, Cen Lingqiu threw herself into her work and forgot all about her phone.
Meanwhile, Yu Mingjiao was attending the final day of the brand’s appreciation banquet. Many brand representatives and designers couldn’t help but come over to talk to her when they saw her.
She was exceptionally beautiful, and her designs were not only well-known in her home country, but many people abroad had also taken notice of this new Asian designer’s talent and inspiration.
The combination of her appearance and talent made Yu Mingjiao a center of attention at the banquet.
Having worked at x.r for a while, Yu Mingjiao was no longer as sharp and cold as she used to be. She conversed with people in English with a distant yet polite attitude.
She didn’t know how many people she had spoken to. Finally, during the work appreciation segment of the event, she was able to find some peace.
Yu Mingjiao found a corner to sit in. A few women were sitting next to her, chattering away loudly. Yu Mingjiao felt like she was going to be deafened.
Just as she was about to ask them to lower their voices, she inadvertently overheard words like “one,” “explosion,” and “robbery.”
She pieced together the two women’s conversation. The general meaning was that a mansion called “one” had just been attacked by terrorists in a robbery, dangerous weapons had been set up in the mansion, an explosion had occurred, and there were countless casualties.
Yu Mingjiao’s face turned pale as she listened. She grabbed the hand of the woman next to her and asked coldly, “Who died? Did many people die? Was there an Asian person?”
The woman didn’t understand Chinese and looked bewildered.
Yu Mingjiao gritted her teeth, slipped away from everyone, and went outside the hotel. She called Cen Lingqiu, but no one answered.
She called again.
She didn’t know how many times she called, maybe a dozen, but no one ever answered.
She went online to search for the incident. It had quickly become a trending topic. The pictures posted by netizens showed a scene of chaos and smoke, with all sorts of gory images.
Yu Mingjiao’s hands began to tremble.
The color drained from her lips, which also began to tremble.
Dangerous and negative speculations flooded her mind, overwhelming her. She was completely distraught, with only one thought: she had to find Cen Lingqiu.
Director Zhou came out for some air and saw her pale face. She asked with concern, “Xiao Yu, what’s wrong?”
Yu Mingjiao didn’t answer, her eyes fixed on the news.
Director Zhou glanced at her phone. “What’s wrong with this news? Why are you so panicked?”
Yu Mingjiao turned off her phone, her voice trembling and rapid. “I’m going out for a bit.”
After saying that, she pushed her wheelchair and headed outside.
Director Zhou was about to stop her, but the event organizer found her and asked her to go up and give an introductory speech. Director Zhou had to give up. She thought that Yu Mingjiao, as an adult, should be fine.
Still, she was worried, so she asked a colleague to follow Yu Mingjiao.
Yu Mingjiao took a taxi to the mansion. The entire area was in a state of devastation. Many people were wailing around her. The mansion was cordoned off with police tape, and no one was allowed inside.
The crowd here was too chaotic. A disabled person in a wheelchair like her couldn’t possibly squeeze through. She could only stay on the outskirts of the crowd, staring blankly at the shattered mansion.
She called Cen Lingqiu’s number over and over again.
“Sorry, the number you have dialed is not answering. Please try again later…”
The mechanical, indifferent automated message played countless times.
Yu Mingjiao’s heart shattered with each unanswered call. She was someone whose hands and feet were warm year-round, but now her hands were as cold as ice.
Not just her hands, but her bones, her flesh, all seemed to freeze into blocks of despair.
The unanswered calls were like repeated death sentences, shattering her fragile sense of security.
Cen Lingqiu might be lying inside. Was she dead or alive?
Was her body intact or in pieces?
She didn’t know any of it.
The unknown was a colossal fear and premonition, engulfing Yu Mingjiao’s breath like a tsunami.
She was scared.
Very scared.
She couldn’t accept the reality that Cen Lingqiu might leave her again.
She couldn’t accept it.
And it was impossible to accept.
She won’t leave me.
She won’t die.
She won’t die.
Won’t die.
Yu Mingjiao’s hands never stopped trembling. She kept dialing Cen Lingqiu’s number. Overcome with terror, she couldn’t help but start biting her own fingers, chewing them until they were a bloody mess without even realizing it.
People around her were wailing, but she was as quiet as a little puppy about to die.
When Cen Lingqiu finished her meeting and returned to the hotel, it was almost evening. She turned on her phone and discovered that Yu Mingjiao had called her nearly a hundred times!
Cen Lingqiu was startled and quickly called her back, but the phone was turned off; no one answered.
She suddenly started to panic. Yu Mingjiao must have called so many times because of some emergency.
Cen Lingqiu regretted not bringing her phone. With Yu Mingjiao’s phone off, she couldn’t contact her. She paced anxiously in her room, then thought of something and called Director Zhou.
“Director Zhou, is Yu Mingjiao with you?” Cen Lingqiu asked urgently.
“She’s not here. She went out a few hours ago.”
“Where did she go?”
“I think it was called one Mansion or something. It was attacked and there was an explosion. I don’t know what she went there for. I was just about to send someone to drag her back.”
Cen Lingqiu hung up the phone and immediately searched for the mansion. When she saw the news, a chill ran down her spine.
Was Yu Mingjiao, a disabled woman, crazy for going to such a dangerous place?
Cen Lingqiu had no time to think. She grabbed her car keys and drove towards the mansion.
She reached the mansion at top speed, paying no mind to the wails of the people around her, her eyes constantly searching for Yu Mingjiao.
Her heart beat faster and faster, almost to the point of bursting from her throat.
Cen Lingqiu had never felt her heart panic like this before. Her entire body went weak, her limbs turning to jelly.
She didn’t know how many people she bumped into or how many times she was cursed at. She had no time to care about any of it.
Finally, in the chaotic crowd, she saw a woman in a red knit long dress, sitting in a wheelchair.
That red dress was one she had bought for Yu Mingjiao.
Cen Lingqiu was panting heavily. Perhaps sensing her gaze, Yu Mingjiao slowly turned around, her eyes meeting Cen Lingqiu’s across the crowd.
In that moment, everyone else faded into gray, blurry shadows. The wails and cries became silent. The surroundings were like a gray, stuttering silent film. In her eyes, there was only Yu Mingjiao.
Yu Mingjiao looked at her calmly, her pupils empty and lifeless. Two streams of clear tears fell from her eyes, tracing paths down her pale cheeks.
Her expression was devoid of emotion, one could even call it cold, but the tears just wouldn’t stop, falling silently from her eyes.
She was still clutching her phone tightly in her hand.
Though her expression was calm, Cen Lingqiu could feel her immense sorrow.
Cen Lingqiu’s pupils contracted sharply. For a moment, her movements and reactions froze, and she couldn’t move at all.
One second.
Two seconds.
Cen Lingqiu finally reacted. She ran forward, pushing through the crowd. She ran so fast, like a sea breeze, bitter and cold.
She ran to Yu Mingjiao and, without a second thought, pulled her into a fierce hug.
Her chest heaved violently as she held Yu Mingjiao tightly, panting nonstop.
Held in her arms, Yu Mingjiao’s body was limp, as if devoid of strength. She didn’t hug her back, just curled up weakly in Cen Lingqiu’s embrace, crying silently.
They didn’t say a single word, yet it felt as if everything had been said.
An embrace is a language warmer than any words of comfort.
Having nothing to say was not taciturnity, but a silent plea and concern. The other’s tears were a pain that one could not put into words.
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