“It’s my fault; I’m the one who brought you guys to the flea market…”
Ashe was so ashamed that he almost buried himself; he could tell that Yan Sui was genuinely worried. He had never seen his face look this awful before. The longer Meng Ting was missing, the harder it seemed for Yan Sui to control his emotions.
“All the people who can be dispatched from the hotel have already been dispatched. Let’s wait another half hour. If he still hasn’t been found, I’ll call my brother. I guarantee we won’t lose the person.”
Yan Sui knew that Meng Ting was not a little girl, but he was also not an ordinary eighteen-year-old boy. His special circumstances couldn’t be explained to Ashe. In a foreign land, he actually lost someone like this. Yan Sui wished he could punch himself.
“Yan Sui!”
There was a voice from afar; Yan Sui thought it was just his imagination. He turned around, and Meng Ting appeared at the end of the street, holding a bouquet of white roses, waving at him, smiling, and walking towards him step by step.
Yan Sui’s gaze quickly locked onto him, then he strode forward. Meng Ting blinked, his forward steps halted, and soon he was embraced by Yan Sui, flowers and all, with great force.
“Yan Sui…”
Meng Ting’s words had just left his mouth when he was pulled even tighter into the person’s embrace. He had guessed that Yan Sui would be worried, but he didn’t expect it to be this level of worry.
Yan Sui hugged him, his arms trembling slightly. Meng Ting was taken aback for a moment, then relaxed his body, allowing Yan Sui to hold him. He didn’t even care about the bouquet he had finally managed to get.
Yan Sui’s arms continued to tighten, as if he wanted to pull the person into his very bones, and beyond that, he couldn’t utter a single word.
Before finding Meng Ting, he had been both worried and angry. Even if it was Meng Ting, he had planned to give him a good talking-to when he saw him.
After getting lost, he should wait for him in the same place. How could he just run off and follow someone? What if he encountered a bad person? What if… he didn’t dare to think about that what if.
But as soon as he saw the person, the fear of what had just happened and the joy of having him back instantly enveloped him. Apart from hugging him tightly, he couldn’t say anything else.
“Yan Sui, I’m sorry, I scared you.”
Meng Ting said softly, nuzzling against Yan Sui’s neck and then kissing his cheek.
Yan Sui held Meng Ting for a long time before finally letting the person go. After carefully examining Meng Ting to ensure he was uninjured, Yan Sui, wearing a dark expression, led him towards the hotel.
As Yan Sui passed by Ashe, he nodded slightly and then continued to lead Meng Ting inside.
Ashe paused, unsure whether he should follow or not.
Meng Ting looked at Yan Sui’s profile, wanting to turn around to see Ashe, but unfortunately, before he could catch a glimpse of his face, he was pulled into Yan Sui’s embrace. The suit jacket he had removed completely enveloped him, leaving Meng Ting unable to see anyone.
From the moment Yan Sui entered the hotel to when he stepped into the elevator and finally into their room, he still hadn’t said a word to Meng Ting, as if he had no intention of speaking to him at all.
Gradually, Meng Ting began to feel a bit anxious.
He thought Yan Sui would be angry, but he didn’t expect him to be this angry. He glanced at the flowers he was still holding, feeling a bit lost and somewhat afraid.
Yan Sui looked at the quiet person in his arms, his throat tightening slightly. As soon as the door to the room closed, he held the person again, even tighter than before. The bouquet in Meng Ting’s hands fell to the floor; he reached out but ultimately chose to wrap his arms around Yan Sui instead, ignoring the flowers.
“Yan Sui…”
Before he could finish his sentence, Yan Sui lifted his chin and kissed him.
Yan Sui’s kiss was seven parts fierce, two parts desire, and one part restraint. He swept through Meng Ting’s lips with a fierce and persistent demeanor, giving Meng Ting the illusion that he was about to be swallowed whole.
As Meng Ting’s breathing grew increasingly chaotic, Yan Sui finally released him, glanced at him for a moment, and then picked him up and carried him toward the bedroom of the suite.
Meng Ting wrapped his arms around Yan Sui’s neck, his expression filled with contemplation, as if he were trying to figure out how to speak. But in the brief moment of his contemplation, he was already carried back to the room and placed on the bed, and then Yan Sui’s kiss came down again.
From his forehead down to his chin and then trailing down his neck, it couldn’t be described as fierce, yet it wasn’t exactly gentle either.
Meng Ting gasped lightly as he held Yan Sui’s head and ran his fingers through his hair, but he was still unable to stop what was about to happen.
“Yan Sui, are you angry? Are you not going to talk to me anymore?”
Meng Ting didn’t mind being intimate with Yan Sui, but the fact that he hadn’t spoken to him until now made him unable to suppress his worry.
“You still want to talk to me later, right?”
Yan Sui responded by gently biting down on a certain sensitive spot on Meng Ting’s body, followed by a playful tongue flick that sent shivers down Meng Ting’s spine. He slightly tightened his grip on Yan Sui’s hair, but then loosened it out of fear that it might hurt the person. He tried to grab the blanket beneath him, only to be caught by Yan Sui.
Yan Sui grabbed Meng Ting’s hand and held it over his head. This kind of alternative punishment was not over yet. However, Yan Sui couldn’t bring himself to hurt the person. He confirmed every part of Meng Ting, from head to toe, with gentle touches and kisses, but there were still some things that weren’t done to the end.
Meng Ting’s eyes held a hint of mist, the expression of someone who had endured excessive bullying. Yan Sui’s heart softened; he reached out to rub Meng Ting’s face, but Meng Ting turned away, then shifted in the blanket, pulling away from Yan Sui’s embrace, wrapping himself up tightly.
Yan Sui’s hand did not retract; the darkness in his eyes was even more profound than when he first saw the person. He thought Meng Ting was also angry, and indeed, he should be angry.
Before Yan Sui could blame himself, a muffled voice came from under the blanket, “If you don’t talk to me, then I won’t talk to you either.”
Meng Ting was deeply saddened when he uttered these words, but his fear was even more intense; he feared Yan Sui would never speak with him again.
Soon after, Yan Sui embraced him, pulled him into his arms, and softly called out to him, “Meng Ting…” in an unclear tone.
As soon as Yan Sui called his name, Meng Ting emerged from under the covers, tightly wrapping his arms around Yan Sui’s neck and quietly complaining, “I know I was wrong. You can scold me, and it’s fine if you want to fight with me; just don’t ignore me.”
“I’m really sad and scared.”
“I’m sorry,” Yan Sui began, but it was also an apology. He held the person tightly in his arms, and only then did the reality of Meng Ting returning to his side settle in his heart. “It’s my fault.”
It was he who lost the person, yet he transferred his emotions onto Meng Ting. He picked the person up along with the blanket and then patted Meng Ting’s back, sincerely saying once again, “I’m sorry.”
“Mm,” Meng Ting replied, then tightened his grip around Yan Sui’s neck before loosening it a bit. “In the future, if you get angry again, you still have to talk to me, okay?”
“Okay,” Yan Sui agreed, but he knew clearly that Meng Ting still didn’t understand his fear. He didn’t speak to him——not because he didn’t want to, but because he couldn’t. He was also afraid of saying something he would regret.
“Mm, then you don’t need to apologize anymore.” Meng Ting didn’t want to keep hearing Yan Sui say sorry; he knew he was the one who was wrong in the first place.
“I didn’t mean to.”
Meng Ting leaned against Yan Sui’s shoulder, his eyes fixed on Yan Sui’s profile. He spoke more slowly, but his words were quite clear, “I returned the flowers to that person, and then I went to find you. There were too many people, and it took me a while to realize that person wasn’t you.”
“But he looked a lot like you. At first, I only thought his back resembled yours, but then he turned around, and I noticed his face resembled yours too.”
That man had a scruffy beard around his mouth, with a carefree yet slightly decadent demeanor. Yet, it was undeniable that such a man could no longer be described as merely handsome; however, in Meng Ting’s eyes, the most crucial point was that he looked very much like Yan Sui.
“He’s older than you. I thought he might be your father, so I quietly followed him.”
Meng Ting continued to observe Yan Sui’s reaction but found that he showed no response at all; even the strength of his embrace remained unchanged. He paused, unable to understand what Yan Sui was thinking at that moment, but still continued to speak.
“But not long after, he discovered me again… I was so useless.”
Meng Ting recounted his conversation with that man to Yan Sui and then fell silent alongside him.
That person was obviously Yan Yu, but he said he didn’t know Yan Sui. Meng Ting didn’t feel much at first, but now seeing Yan Sui’s silence, he felt a bit sad. Yan Sui had done nothing wrong, yet he bore a great deal of misplaced anger, most of which came from those closest to him.
They weren’t at fault, but neither was his Yan Sui.
Yan Sui reached out and ruffled Meng Tang’s hair, and after a long pause, he said, “It’s normal that he doesn’t know me.”
If he could, he would probably wish he didn’t exist. If he didn’t exist, the situation between him and He Yue wouldn’t have turned out the way it did. He hasn’t been in touch with his family for so many years, and a big part of the reason is also because of him.
Because he was born from a woman he absolutely despises. In this situation, it would be difficult not to misplace his anger.
“However, I still want to thank you.”
Yan Sui said as he tilted his head and kissed Meng Ting’s forehead. His voice lowered a bit. “As long as he’s alive, that’s enough.”
This was not only his hope but also the hope of the two elders who had passed away. Yan Sui’s grandfather’s last words before he died were, ‘Don’t blame him’. At first, he thought that ‘him’ referred to ‘her'[mfn]T/N: Long-time Danmei readers should already know about this, but I’ll include a footnote nonetheless. While in written Chinese the words He/Him/His and She/Her/Hers are quite clear——他 for male and 她 for female——both hanzi read as tā. So, you can’t know for sure if someone was talking about a male or female (or even an object/animal, since 它 is also read as tā) in spoken Chinese.[/mfn], He Wan, but now it seems it should be Yan Yu.
When a person dies, it’s like a lamp being extinguished. Yan Sui naturally wouldn’t want to blame anyone; it’s only the living who can talk about blame. His grandfather must know that Yan Yu is alive, or perhaps he believes deep down that he is alive, even if he is unwilling to return, unwilling to see anyone connected to the past.
Regarding his parents, Yan Sui had never forced anything. After learning that He Wan didn’t like him, he treated her with indifference, maintaining the necessary decorum, and then waited for the day they would completely sever ties.
This was a feeling that had arisen strongly within him from the moment He Wan tried to control him because he could never be a puppet on her strings. He was merely the son she had given birth to, but she didn’t like him; he was a person.
[dropdown title=”List of Idiom in Chapter 045.1″]
失而復得 (shī ér fù dé): to regain something after it has been lost; to lose sth and then regain it (idiom); lost and found again; recover what was lost; retrieve after losing; get back what was lost.
[/dropdown]Check out my completed & current project at my carrd. If you like my translation, you can buy me coffee at Ko-fi~ Thank you.
