DREB CHAPTER 95

Li Yan went to use the restroom at Liu Qing’s house, but once he went in, he didn’t come back out.

Liu Qing waited outside for nearly half an hour. He called Li Yan’s name twice, but there was no response. Growing worried, he opened the door and found Li Yan fast asleep on the toilet lid, face flushed.

Liu Qing didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as he pulled Li Yan out and laid him on the bed.

The next morning, when Li Yan woke up, he felt embarrassed. He wasn’t a regular drinker, so his tolerance was low. He apologized to Liu Qing.

Liu Qing replied, “It’s no fun if you’re going to be so polite.”

They chatted a bit longer, and Li Yan had breakfast at Liu Qing’s place before heading out.

As he neared his home, he spotted someone crouched by his door from a distance.

When he got closer, he recognized it was Lu Lianning.

Lu Lianning stood up quickly as soon as he saw him. His clothes were wrinkled, his eyes bloodshot, and he looked exhausted, his face even paler than usual.

“Where were you?” Lu Lianning followed behind Li Yan.

Li Yan’s head was still spinning from the hangover as he saw Lu Lianning wearing that same expression and questioning him again.

“What does it have to do with you?” he replied deliberately.

He opened the door and stepped inside. He hadn’t invited Lu Lianning in, and Lu Lianning didn’t dare to barge in either. Now that Li Yan was starting to warm up to him a little, he didn’t want to ruin things again.

Standing outside, Lu Lianning said, “I was worried about you. I waited here all night.” His lips were pressed tight. “Also… I can still smell alcohol on you…”

Li Yan lay back on his bed as the faint scent of Lu Lianning’s pheromones filled the room.

With his eyes closed, wrapped in the bitter orange fragrance, he could still hear Lu Lianning outside, almost sounding like he was complaining.

“I don’t need you to worry about me!” Li Yan snapped, pulling the blanket over himself and turning away.

After a pause, Lu Lianning’s voice came again. “Am I bothering you? Did you go out to avoid me?”

Finally, he gently closed the door and said to Li Yan, “There’s no need to avoid me. If I’m such a nuisance, I won’t come by for the next few days.”

Li Yan heard the door click shut, followed by fading footsteps and the sound of a car engine starting.

He left just like that?

Li Yan closed his eyes, trying to sleep, but now that Lu Lianning was actually gone, his sleepiness vanished.

After tossing and turning for half an hour, he rubbed his eyes and sat up.

He stared blankly at the silver ring on the table.

He lowered his head slowly. It was becoming increasingly clear how easily he could hurt Lu Lianning.

At first, Lu Lianning had tried to break Li Yan down, reshaping him into something he desired. But it wasn’t only Li Yan who changed; Lu Lianning was reshaped as well.

He clumsily concealed his rough edges, constantly fearing that any misstep might irritate Li Yan.

Li Yan, worn down by a hard life, carried a numb indifference toward both love and hate. He focused on what he needed to do and dismissed the rest, never investing too much care or memory. He neither had the strength nor the inclination to fight back.

Meeting Lu Lianning seemed like just another hardship for Li Yan, yet he knew that wasn’t entirely true. While he couldn’t foresee fate, he was certain that if he drove straight toward Lu Lianning, the man would move aside. He knew that when he gave a ring to Chen Yaxin as Lu Lianning approached, it would wound him deeply.

Li Yan hadn’t been born with this skill to anticipate; it was Lu Lianning who had taught him how to hurt.

Li Yan wondered: he hadn’t always been like this, so why couldn’t he stop wanting to hurt him? Was it because he felt wronged? Or was it because he couldn’t accept it?

Yet hurting him didn’t bring any relief.

From Li Yan, Lu Lianning had learned to stand in the rain on purpose, hoping his beloved would take pity on him, repeatedly calling his name in a way that begged forgiveness. Now, had Li Yan, in turn, learned from Lu Lianning how to prove love by inflicting pain?

He told himself again: Li Yan, Li Yan, can’t you learn something better?

It had been ten years, and their child was already five.

How many more years would Lu Lianning have to come to Wujingwan Town to stand in the rain, carving deep wounds into his own glands, before Li Yan’s heart softened?

Li Yan wasn’t someone who analyzed things deeply. But once he made a decision, he never second-guessed it.

Could things get any worse?

Could Li Yan’s life get any worse?

He wasn’t afraid of making poor choices—he’d always been at the bottom, with nowhere left to fall.

Would anyone judge him for embracing someone who had once hurt him so deeply?

But in his most desperate moments, no one had ever reached out a hand to help him, so naturally, no one would come forward to morally condemn him now.

Li Yan even managed a relaxed smile, but it quickly froze on his lips.

Realizing that no one cared wasn’t something to feel glad about.

The corners of his mouth, just barely raised, slowly fell as he thought of Chen Yu.

Would Chen Yu call him pathetic? But then again, Chen Yu’s life was saved by him being exactly that.

His gaze drifted back to the leftover red yarn. Only a small ball remained.

He reached for it, thinking it was Lu Zerui’s fault for being so small that there was so much yarn left over.

 

Lu Lianning was driving when raindrops started to fall, dotting his windshield as he continued with a dejected expression. He finally turned the wheel and made his way back.

He stopped at Li Yan’s door.

Li Yan’s house lights were still on, and by now it was completely dark outside. Lu Lianning turned on the car’s heater, pulled a blanket from the back, and settled into the back seat, planning to sleep there as usual.

But the rain grew heavier, pounding louder on the car. Even so, he was utterly exhausted. Since his glands had been damaged, his immune system was weakened, and he often suffered from sudden fevers.

He traveled constantly between City A and Wujingwan Town, balancing work with watching over Li Yan. Yet, somehow, sleeping in his car outside Li Yan’s door was better than sleeping at home.

At least, he hadn’t had any more nightmares.

He quickly fell into a deep sleep but, even as he drifted off, worried that Li Yan was already becoming annoyed with him. Maybe he’d been visiting too often. He resolved to leave before Li Yan opened the door in the morning.

He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep when a sudden thunderclap cracked across the sky and heavy rain began to pour.

He jolted awake and sat up, glancing out the window. Li Yan’s small house was a hazy silhouette through the downpour, but he noticed the light was still on.

He checked the time—it was nearly midnight, unusual for Li Yan.

Leaning closer to the window, he saw the lights flicker with two claps of thunder, then go out.

Had Li Yan gone to bed? But why wasn’t there any candlelight??

Suddenly wide awake, Lu Lianning threw open the car door and plunged into the rain, which quickly soaked his shoes up to the ankles. Ignoring everything else, he ran to Li Yan’s door, where he heard a muffled crash inside.

Growing more anxious, he banged on the door, calling Li Yan’s name loudly.

Inside, Li Yan was crouched on the floor, breathing heavily and drenched in cold sweat, completely immobilized.

At first, he thought he was hallucinating Lu Lianning’s voice. But as he heard it again, he forced his numb hands to move, braced himself on the bed, and slowly got up. Guided by instinct, he stumbled to the door and unlatched it.

As soon as the door opened, Lu Lianning reached out and pulled Li Yan into a hug. Li Yan was still tense, his eyes wide and breathing ragged. Lu Lianning patted his back soothingly, trying to calm his breathing.

Stepping back, Lu Lianning took off his jacket and said, “Let’s go to the car.”

Before Li Yan could nod, Lu Lianning had already wrapped him in his coat, lifting him around the waist and sprinting back to the car. He opened the door and settled Li Yan inside.

Li Yan sat there, still dazed, as if he hadn’t fully grasped what had happened. After a moment, he asked as the soaked Lu Lianning climbed in from the other side, “Didn’t… didn’t you leave?” He had said he wouldn’t come back…

Lu Lianning didn’t answer. He pulled the blanket over Li Yan and rubbed his rain-soaked hair. But compared to Li Yan, Lu Lianning was even more drenched, water dripping everywhere inside the car.

Still concerned, Lu Lianning, his sleeves dripping, asked anxiously, “Are your clothes wet too? Are you cold?”

He continued to dry Li Yan’s hair and asked, “Are you feeling unwell?”

Li Yan blinked. Feeling unwell? It was just a few drops of water—how could he be so delicate?

But then, he realized that being around Lu Lianning always brought out a different side of him, one that wasn’t quite the usual “Li Yan.”

Li Yan could eat plain boiled noodles, so why did he become picky around Lu Lianning? Why did he haggle over every little thing, only to end up needing encouragement? Why did he need someone to hold him just to get blood drawn? And when his ankle hurt, why did he make a point of mentioning it to the butler while Lu Lianning was around?

These actions, which felt so unlike “Li Yan,” were simply his way of exercising his right to be loved.

Noticing his silence, Lu Lianning assumed he was feeling cold. He leaned forward, adjusted the temperature even higher, and switched on all the lights in the car, comforting him, “Just a little longer, it’ll be warm soon.”

Li Yan watched his fidgety appearance and suddenly called, “Lu Lianning.”

Lu Lianning paused, then turned slowly and asked, “What is it?”

Li Yan was bundled up tightly, while Lu Lianning was soaked through, water still dripping from his hair and sliding into his collar. His hair was tousled, and he looked slightly uncertain as he gazed at Li Yan.

Li Yan stayed silent. Moisture beaded on the car door, and the air inside was tinged with dampness. Outside, the downpour had softened into a steady drizzle, tapping more gently against the windows.

Li Yan slowly leaned in and kissed him.

Lu Lianning’s eyes widened, momentarily forgetting to breathe, stunned by Li Yan’s gesture.

A rush of joy exploded in his heart, overwhelming him. He stared at Li Yan, not daring to move.

Li Yan’s lips brushed his softly before pulling away. Meeting his gaze, he said, “Shouldn’t you close your eyes?”

Lu Lianning’s chest heaved, his eyes turning red as he looked at Li Yan, almost as if he feared this was just another dream. He secretly pinched himself, but the pain felt so real.

Slowly, he closed his eyes, tilting his chin up as if begging for a kiss.

Li Yan saw a droplet of water trace down Lu Lianning’s long lashes as his eyes closed. Disheveled as he was, it couldn’t obscure his striking, beautiful features.

In that moment, he looked less like the evil queen from Snow White and more like a noble, tearful princess, standing on a castle wall about to fall, head held high.

Li Yan couldn’t deny it—he was moved by this version of Lu Lianning.

He kissed him again, their lips meeting in a rare and reverent exchange—a kiss unlike any they had shared before.

Lu Lianning restrained himself in a way that was uncharacteristic, allowing Li Yan to take control of everything.

Li Yan felt something warm on his cheek, realizing it couldn’t be rain—it was too warm.

He opened his eyes to see Lu Lianning sniffing, even his lower eyelids were red.

The sun was hidden now. Dark clouds covered the sky, and rain poured down relentlessly. Except for where they were, the rest of Wujingwan Town was cloaked in shadow. At that moment, what Lu Lianning had prayed for during their parting finally came true.

He hadn’t shed a tear then, but now, in their reunion, he did.

It was as though that single tear, held back five years ago, had been waiting all this time, meant to fall now for Li Yan.

Li Yan said, “Lu Lianning, it must’ve been tough for you, holding on alone all this time.”

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Translator’s note:
The next chapter will be the last of the main story!