At 2 AM, Xie Quan stood at a crossroad in the city center, dragging his suitcase and lost in thought.
Summer was almost over, and the late-night wind carried a chill, making him feel cold against his skin.
He stood there motionless for over ten minutes, until the color drained from his skin, his fingers grew pale, and his mind remained blank.
He instinctively reached for his pocket but realized there was no bottle of medicine there.
The bottle he had hidden in the room was the last one, and Lu Nanyang had thrown it off the fourth floor.
He hadn’t meant to deceive Lu Nanyang, but he could never let him see him going through withdrawal.
Up until now, every version of himself that Lu Nanyang had seen hadn’t touched the most real and desperate side of him. Even that stormy night, he had still had some strength left to disguise himself, to gain Lu Nanyang’s sympathy.
But he couldn’t let Lu Nanyang see his true self. Time and again, painful lessons had taught him to never show your weakness to anyone; you wouldn’t be met with sympathy, only abandonment.
That ugly, desperate, and cowardly side of himself made Xie Quan want to vomit just thinking about it.
He’d rather die ten years earlier than ever go through that again.
His breathing became erratic as he gripped the suitcase handle and slowly squatted down, gritting his teeth as he endured the heavy pain in his chest and the waves of pain in his abdomen.
He considered himself a calm and composed person, someone who always thought things through and planned meticulously, keeping everything within his control.
But this principle, which he relied on for survival, always seemed to fail when it came to Lu Nanyang.
To act so impulsively, recklessly, and without thinking about the consequences—it wasn’t like him at all.
But in that moment when Lu Nanyang coldly rejected him, Xie Quan had never been so angry. This anger had simmered all night and finally exploded when Lu Nanyang threw away that bottle of medicine.
Indeed, Xie Quan, as a campus heartthrob with a knack for playing with people’s hearts, had never been rejected before, whether in love or casual encounters.
But the main reason for his anger wasn’t the rejection or losing face.
It was Lu Nanyang’s words, “It has nothing to do with that.”
“It has nothing to do with that” meant he wasn’t rejecting him because of the positions.
So, what was it about then?
Xie Quan wasn’t stupid; he could tell that Lu Nanyang had a more traditional view of relationships, and the encounter in the bar had likely been just an accident.
Lu Nanyang wanted to save his real first time for a future lover who might not even appear, not for him.
Why?
What was wrong with him? What made him unworthy?
Did he not deserve to be Lu Nanyang’s boyfriend?
The thought startled him.
No, that’s impossible. Xie Quan almost immediately crushed the thought.
He never thought about, nor could he ever be, in a relationship with someone like Lu Nanyang.
They were too different, completely from different worlds.
In the end, Xie Quan had approached Lu Nanyang from the start simply because he was attracted to his body. Now, he had gotten what he wanted.
But why didn’t he feel satisfied? Why didn’t he experience any joy from the hunt?
Another wave of abdominal pain hit, and Xie Quan gritted his teeth, pressing his forehead against the suitcase handle, closing his eyes and trying to comfort himself.
He had gone too far today. It was no surprise Lu Nanyang was angry.
Tomorrow morning, he would apologize. Maybe someone like Lu Nanyang, a soft-hearted fool, would have calmed down by then.
……
Xie Quan found a nearby chain hotel to stay in, not even bothering to open his suitcase, just getting a few hours of sleep.
The next morning, he ordered congee from the same shop Lu Nanyang had bought for him before. After drinking it, his stomach pain finally eased.
As he calculated the time when Lu Nanyang should be waking up, Xie Quan took out his phone and opened WeChat, searching for that sunflower avatar that looked so silly.
To be honest, ever since Xie Yuanqiang was admitted to the psychiatric hospital, Xie Quan hadn’t apologized to anyone.
Firstly, his academic and social abilities were nearly perfect, so he had never done anything that warranted an apology. Secondly, even if he did, he could never bring himself to apologize.
Lu Nanyang, you’ve set a precedent.
While thinking this, Xie Quan clicked on Lu Nanyang’s profile picture, hesitated for a moment, and then sent a message.
Drowning: “I was wrong about what happened last night. I apologize.”
Just as he was wondering if he should add something else to make it sound more sincere, he noticed a red exclamation mark next to the sent message.
Xie Quan froze for a moment.
Lu Nanyang had deleted him.
Lu Nanyang deleted him?
Rage slowly rose in his chest, burning fiercely.
Lu Nanyang hadn’t even deleted his WeChat when he moved out of his place before! How dare he?
Wasn’t it just a beating? Why cut off all contact?
Actually, Xie Quan still had Lu Nanyang’s phone number, but under these circumstances, he couldn’t bring himself to try contacting him again.
Frustrated, he threw his phone onto the bed. The phone bounced a few times on the mattress before falling into the gap between the bed frame and the window.
Xie Quan: …
It seems like the saying “good things don’t come in pairs, and misfortunes never come singly” is more than just a saying.
Xie Quan had planned to call the front desk and have someone come up to retrieve the phone, but just then, his phone rang, its monotone ringtone echoing in the bed frame gap.
He reluctantly kneeled on the bed and reached out to grab it.
He retrieved the phone, but it was covered in dust, causing him to sneeze three times in a row.
It wasn’t Lu Nanyang. It was a senior of his who worked at the hospital pharmacy, his new “supplier.”
“Hello?” Xie Quan said, wiping down the phone and his hands with alcohol as he put the call on speaker.
“Xie Quan, I’m going to take some time off this month to go to Xishuangbanna with my girlfriend. I won’t be at the hospital until the end of the month, so I won’t be able to get your meds until next month. Just wanted to let you know.”
“Next month?” Xie Quan repeated.
“Yeah. But I figured you probably won’t be in a hurry, right? I got you six bottles last time,” his senior said. “I’ll call you when I get back. Remember to treat me to a meal!”
The senior ended the call. Xie Quan stared at the screen for a long time before he finally dared to put the phone down. He rubbed his face, as if to vent his frustration.
……
But no matter what, the internship still had to be completed.
At 8:30 AM, Xie Quan arrived on time at the Cardiothoracic Department of Yuncheng University Affiliated Hospital, hiding his dark circles under a friendly smile.
The department was especially busy that day with two major surgeries, and all the doctors were running around, himself no exception.
The effects of the medicine from last night barely helped him maintain his sanity, but the poor sleep and his low mood made him feel somewhat powerless. After over ten hours in surgery, just standing felt like his vision was about to black out.
“Great work, everyone. The surgery is over. Let’s all take a break,” the lead surgeon said, removing his gloves.
Xie Quan sighed with relief and was the first to leave the operating room. All he wanted now was to find a bed and sleep for three days straight.
A few young nurses passed by and chatted with each other.
“Did you see that handsome guy standing by the door in the lobby just now?”
“Yeah, I saw him. He was standing there for quite a while. I wonder if he’s here to see someone.”
“Where? I didn’t see him.”
“The tall one, wearing a yellow shirt.”
Xie Quan froze for a moment. When his brain processed it, his legs moved toward the lobby without him realizing it.
Was he an idiot?
If he was looking for him, why didn’t he just call first?
Since he came to find him again, why did he delete him from WeChat?
The nurses were pointing at a figure not far off. Xie Quan bit his thumbnail and unconsciously quickened his pace.
However, when he was just a few meters away, he suddenly stopped.
The man in the yellow shirt turned around. He was indeed handsome—sharp features, handsome face, and a sapphire earring that gave off a cool vibe. But he wasn’t Lu Nanyang.
This guy even had long hair.
The nurse at the reception desk seemed to have had enough and walked over to him, politely asking, “Hello, can I help you with anything?”
“I need help,” the cool guy spoke, pointing at the screen of the registration machine. “My name is typed incorrectly. It’s Jiang Liánxiao, not Jiang Lianxiao.”
“Is it ‘Lián’ as in lotus?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, please wait a moment. I’ll contact the system staff to help you fix it.”
Xie Quan didn’t listen to the rest of their conversation.
He suddenly felt like a fool.
A wave of inexplicable humiliation surged up, crashing through his chest.
Had he lost his mind? Was Lu Nanyang casting a spell on him?
Why was his mind filled with that stupid face?
He wanted it to end, right? Fine, let it end.
It didn’t matter.
After all, there never should have been any intersection between them. This relationship was wrong from the very beginning. It was absurd.
Xie Quan clenched his fists by his side and slowly relaxed them. Just as he was about to walk around the long-haired cool guy and leave the hospital, a sweet voice called out to him.
“Dr. Xie! What a coincidence! What are you doing here?”
Xie Quan turned around to see Shu Ziyi standing not far behind him, waving cheerfully at him.
He didn’t want to smile, but his body had long formed the habit of offering a polite fake smile as a reflex.
So, he reluctantly followed the smile and continued the conversation. “What a coincidence. I’m here for an internship. What about you? Are you here for a checkup?”
“Yeah, lately my eyes have been tearing up for no reason, so I came to the hospital to get checked.”
“It might be due to inverted eyelashes,” Xie Quan said without thinking. “You have long lower lashes, so they curl up and get into your eyes.”
“You’re exactly like the ophthalmologist!” Shu Ziyi exclaimed. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have come to the hospital. I would’ve just come to you directly!”
Xie Quan had no choice but to smile. “I’m not a specialist—better to see a proper doctor.”
“Hey, Dr. Xie, are you free right now?” Shu Ziyi hooked his arm and smiled playfully. “If you’re not busy, let me treat you to a meal? It’s been ages since we’ve seen each other since the holidays started.”
He was exhausted, physically and mentally drained.
Normally, he might’ve made up some excuse to turn her down.
But today, he suddenly changed his mind. Smiling, he linked arms with Shu Ziyi. “Sure. What do you feel like eating?”
Shu Ziyi was a great match. Whether it was her looks, personality, or the convenience her family background could offer, she was a perfect candidate for marriage.
Wasn’t this the whole point of pulling all those strings to connect with her in the first place?
Lu Nanyang was nothing more than a ticking time bomb that could blow his life apart at any moment. Without him, he could still live well.
No—he’d live even better.
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Author’s note:
Jiang Lianxiao makes a cameo~
Dr. Xie, just wait for your face-slap moment.
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