Eight years ago.
Tan Qing took time to return to his empty home and carefully cleaned away the dust. On the sink sat a bottle of rose essential oil that his mother had liked while she was alive. The scent used to make Tan Qing feel dizzy, but now, for some reason, he had grown used to it.
The debut was just around the corner. Tan Qing knew he likely wouldn’t have much time to come back after that. He didn’t throw away anything that could be kept; instead, he found boxes and packed everything away, one by one.
Only at the end did he begin tidying his room, emptying the wardrobe. As a boy nearing adulthood, his body had developed rapidly. Judging by his current build, this narrow and dark space could no longer contain him.
He calmly stared at the now-empty area, thought for a moment, then put everything he had just packed back inside and slid the door shut.
A glossy, pure black fountain pen rested quietly in the desk drawer. It was the last gift Ling Ni had given him.
Tan Qing looked at it for a while, capped it, and placed it back where it belonged.
He realized that, in the entire house, there was nothing he needed to take with him. Every piece of it had once belonged to him, but none of it belonged to the future Tan Qing who was about to step into the public eye.
That was fine. He wasn’t in the habit of keeping mementos anyway.
There was a European-style clock in the living room, long broken, with its hands forever stopped at 6:35.
Tan Qing noticed how oddly fitting that time was—it could be either early morning or late evening.
He locked the door and headed downstairs. Just as he reached the gate of the residential complex, his steps suddenly halted. His gaze locked instinctively onto a familiar figure up ahead.
Zhu Lianzhen had only recently dyed his hair, a light ash blonde that made his already white skin look even brighter. His features were full of youthful confidence, and he stood out wherever he went. When he saw Tan Qing, a smile lifted the corners of his mouth.
Tan Qing unconsciously quickened his pace and walked up to him. “What are you doing here?”
“I have to go to school to report to a teacher and get some documents. I was hoping you’d come with me.” Zhu Lianzhen’s arms were tightly crossed over his chest. “I heard from Ting-ge that you’d be home today, so I got your address from Pei-jie.”
“You could’ve just texted me.”
“Because I wanted to give you this.” Zhu Lianzhen unfolded his arms and showed him the paper bag he had been carefully protecting—it was coffee from a shop in Shanghai that Zhu Lianzhen really liked, which had recently opened a branch in Ronggang. He usually didn’t have time to buy it, so when the chance came, he couldn’t wait to share it with Tan Qing.
Tan Qing smiled and took it from his hands.
Ronggang was very cold today. Fortunately, there was barely any wind, which gave Zhu Lianzhen the confidence to step out in a trench coat. He was the type of young boy who loved dressing up. Once winter came, he became the textbook case of choosing style over warmth, standing tall and proud in the cold even when his teeth were chattering.
Tan Qing noticed the visible tension in his smooth, pale neck, so he took off his own scarf and wrapped it around him. Zhu Lianzhen glanced down at it. He had intended to refuse and say that Tan Qing should just take care of himself, but Tan Qing’s attentiveness had always been something he appreciated, so he didn’t insist.
“Your ears are red from the cold,” Tan Qing said as he looked at him. “Let’s just take a taxi.”
Zhu Lianzhen, having advanced straight into the high school dance program, wasn’t familiar with the building layout. He had to rely on Tan Qing to guide him in finding the teacher to process his leave and paperwork.
It only took an hour to get everything done. When Zhu Lianzhen walked out of the office, he ran into a few classmates from middle school who had also been admitted to the same high school.
“Hope your debut goes well!”
“Good luck, good luck! When you come back, the whole school’s gonna go wild.”
“You’re getting more handsome, Zhu Lianzhen!”
He high-fived and fist-bumped each of them, promising they’d meet again when they had the chance.
As he walked through the hallway with Tan Qing, they drew attention wherever they went. After leaving the school building, Zhu Lianzhen heard someone calling his name from the field. He turned and saw it was a classmate from his middle school homeroom. She jogged over and shoved a handful of milk candies into his hand.
“I thought I’d never see you again. You didn’t even come for the graduation photo.” She smiled, then took a few steps back and waved. “Good luck! See you!”
“Mm!” Zhu Lianzhen nodded and also said, “See you,” then continued walking with Tan Qing out of the school grounds.
Once they were farther away, Tan Qing turned his head and asked, “Someone who likes you?”
Zhu Lianzhen froze. “Huh? No…” He thought for a moment, then hesitantly added, “She used to, but not anymore.”
After all, he had turned her down in the second year of middle school.
Tan Qing said, “I’m a little curious.”
“Hmm?”
“How you turn someone down when they confess to you.”
“Why are you curious about that?” Zhu Lianzhen lowered his head a bit, most of his face buried in the scarf. “I’d say something like, I don’t feel that way, the company doesn’t allow it, and things like ‘You’re great’ and ‘I’m sorry’…”
“I thought you’d be too embarrassed to say it outright.”
“Of course I’m embarrassed! But if I don’t make it clear, and they end up being too afraid to confess to someone they like in the future, then I’d feel really guilty.”
Zhu Lianzhen kept both hands in his pockets. With each breath, he caught a faint floral scent. It was the smell of fabric softener from Tan Qing’s scarf, similar to the scent on his clothes.
Tan Qing saw him rubbing his face against the scarf a few times and couldn’t tell if it was just because he was cold.
“Has a boy ever done that?” Tan Qing asked.
“What?”
“A boy confessing to you.”
Zhu Lianzhen scrunched his nose from the cold and seemed to think it was a joke. “Of course not.”
“If it happened, how would you turn him down?”
“Huh? How else? I’d just say it directly. I’m not gay.” Zhu Lianzhen unwrapped a milk candy and asked Tan Qing, “Want one?”
Tan Qing looked over, hands still tucked in his pockets, lips slightly parted. Zhu Lianzhen raised his hand and fed him the candy.
They were currently living in a spacious apartment near the Ronggang Arena, with six bedrooms and a view overlooking the river. The company had arranged it to make commuting easier for them. But with the entire group under one roof, personality clashes were inevitable.
Especially between Zhu Lianzhen and Fan Gerong. The company had assigned them a duet stage performance, but both had shown clear resistance. Even now, they hadn’t fully worked out the performance details.
Zhu Lianzhen felt Fan Gerong was slacking off on purpose. Fan Gerong thought Zhu Lianzhen was hogging the spotlight. Whenever they were in the dorm together, it was a never-ending cycle of arguments, cold wars, and more arguments.
“There are only a few days left. What exactly are you planning?” Zhu Lianzhen slammed the stage storyboard onto the table.
Fan Gerong didn’t even glance at it. “Didn’t I already say? Either we do a duet for part 2, or I’ll sing it solo. Just dancing in that part is too boring.”
Zhu Lianzhen sneered. “Come on, I’ve already toned down the choreography just to match you. Are you still struggling to keep up?”
Fan Gerong raised an eyebrow. “And I dropped the key several levels just so you could hit the notes. Or are you just not able to sing at all?”
The two were clearly about to start arguing again when Ji Yunting, who had been lying on the sofa, cut in irritably, “Enough already. Can you two stop? If you’re this unwilling to work together, just talk to Pei-jie and get the part canceled.”
Zhu Lianzhen licked his canine tooth with the tip of his tongue and threw him an impatient look before heading back to his room alone.
He was content being alone, so Tan Qing didn’t feel it was right to disturb him. It wasn’t until dinner that Tan Qing knocked on his door to call him.
“Not hungry.” Zhu Lianzhen lazily lifted his eyelids from the bed.
Tan Qing said, “Then at least have some soup.”
Zhu Lianzhen shook his head. Tan Qing glanced toward the living room, then stepped inside and sat by the edge of his bed, speaking calmly, “If you two really don’t want to work together, then go talk to the company and cancel the performance, as the leader said. Cutting ten minutes won’t affect the concert.”
They had already written plenty of original songs back in their trainee days. From group numbers to solo acts, they had more than enough material to fill an entire concert.
Zhu Lianzhen blinked slowly, then sat up and rubbed his hair, sighing. “It’s not like I’m trying to make things hard for him on purpose. But he’s clearly not focused on the performance, like he thinks debuting with the group is some kind of injustice. What’s with the attitude?”
“At least his foundation is solid. As for his attitude, just let it go.” Tan Qing reached out to adjust the edge of Zhu Lianzhen’s blanket. “Don’t dwell on it. With your talent, you’ll have no problem adapting on stage when the time comes.”
Zhu Lianzhen nodded. He realized that only when talking to Tan Qing did he actually feel better. The rest of the team only added to his frustration.
On December 21st, Acemon made their debut at the concert, under the spotlight of massive public anticipation.
With an average age of just seventeen, they were full of youthful energy and strong personalities. Even during their trainee days, they had already attracted considerable attention online. After debuting, they skyrocketed to fame. From the end of the year through February of the next year, Acemon’s name and several debut songs became hot topics in every corner of the city.
Their sudden popularity at a young age also brought a lot of criticism. Where there was overwhelming love and support, there was also malice that crossed the line. But none of it stopped them from becoming regulars at major award shows. They swept all the newcomer and popularity awards, and in less than two months after debuting, they had already become the most talked-about artists of the year.
“It’s so itchy—itchy and painful.” Zhu Lianzhen groaned twice, speaking to the stylist.
“Please bear with it a bit longer. This blue needs to be bleached first before dyeing to look good. Bright colors really suit you,” the stylist said, speeding up her movements a little. “Your hair quality is good too, not thin or frizzy at all.”
Zhu Lianzhen let out a long sigh. It wasn’t that he couldn’t stand the discomfort, but he just got bored sitting in the chair for so long and couldn’t even look down at his phone.
“I’ll just nap for a bit then. Wake me when it’s done.” He closed his eyes. Lately, their schedule had been so packed that their days and nights were reversed. Everyone had to seize every minute in the car to catch up on sleep.
After an unknown amount of time, Zhu Lianzhen was awakened by the noise of the hair dryer and asked groggily, “What time is it?”
“It just got dark, only six o’clock. Go back to sleep.”
When Zhu Lianzhen heard the voice, his mind didn’t register it right away, but when he saw Tan Qing in the mirror, sitting on the couch behind him, flipping through a magazine, he realized he had arrived.
Zhu Lianzhen: “Weren’t you going to an audition?”
“Already finished. I saw you hadn’t come back yet, so I figured you’d be bored. I came to wait and head out with you.”
The stylist chimed in, “Don’t worry, almost done.”
Zhu Lianzhen’s new hair color was for tomorrow’s music show stage. Under the lights, it would look like a gemstone blue. The stylist had kept the saturation low to make it look especially clear. She’d add some curls before the stage to give it more texture.
The flashier the color, the more it demanded expressive features to pull off. But a so-called youth couldn’t rely on just a clean face. Zhu Lianzhen wasn’t just good-looking, but also had a natural confidence and refined presence that made his whole appearance shine. And when he smiled, revealing his canines, his eyes curved like crescents, softening the rebellious sharpness in his expression and adding a hint of youthful innocence.
After his new hairstyle was done, Zhu Lianzhen hurried off with Tan Qing, already thinking ahead. “Your birthday’s tomorrow, and I haven’t had time to prepare a gift.”
“It’s fine. I wouldn’t have remembered if you hadn’t brought it up. As long as our performance goes well tomorrow, that’ll be the best birthday present.”
“Then how about we celebrate after the show?” Zhu Lianzhen glanced at him, seeking his opinion.
Tan Qing gave an “Mm,” and Zhu Lianzhen took that as a yes.
On Valentine’s Day, to match the atmosphere, the production team leaned heavily into romantic themes for the stage design. Acemon’s popularity on this music show was unprecedented. During the mid-show interview segment, the producers specifically extended their airtime to boost viewership.
While the members were focused, speaking into the camera, the host quietly brought over a birthday cake and stood to the side. Just as Tan Qing finished his line and turned his head, he saw the surprise the show had prepared for him.
He revealed a surprised smile and sincerely expressed his thanks as he accepted the cake, then he made a wish and blew out the candles. Every reaction unfolded exactly as the audience would expect.
After the live broadcast ended, many of Acemon’s fans still lingered outside the venue, hoping to catch another glimpse of them. It was already late at night, and fans following their cars could be dangerous. Pei Qiao instructed the members to remove their makeup and change clothes, then quietly leave through a side exit in several different vehicles.
Zhu Lianzhen checked the time. There were only two hours left in the day. He remembered he still hadn’t properly celebrated Tan Qing’s birthday. “You didn’t take a single bite of that cake earlier. Wanna go get another one now?”
Tan Qing looked slightly surprised, probably not expecting Zhu Lianzhen to care about something so small. “It’s already so late, let’s not.”
“Alright.” Zhu Lianzhen’s disappointment was more obvious than Tan Qing’s. “You only joined the company last year. No one celebrated with you then. I was hoping this year we could.”
Tan Qing: “Didn’t the one during the show count?”
“That was just you blowing out a candle. Did you even make a wish?”
Tan Qing shook his head. Zhu Lianzhen replied, “Exactly. You didn’t even make a birthday wish.”
Tan Qing turned to look out the window. The shadows of trees on both sides of the road rushed past in the night. He pressed his lips together lightly, then looked back at Zhu Lianzhen and said, “Would you be willing to spend it with me?”
Zhu Lianzhen didn’t hesitate. “Mm, didn’t we already agree yesterday?”
“I want to go back to my house. Is that okay?”
“You decide.” Zhu Lianzhen lit up his phone. “Tell the driver the address. I’ll let the others know.”
He opened the messages, and just as the keyboard popped up, a hand suddenly reached over from the side and covered the screen.
At that moment, the car happened to enter an underground tunnel. Aside from the lights ahead, the back seat was shrouded in darkness. Zhu Lianzhen heard Tan Qing say to him, “Would it be okay if it’s just you with me? It’s late, and I’m not in the mood for a crowd.”
Zhu Lianzhen certainly had no objections and followed Tan Qing to his former home.
The place was still very clean. Tan Qing carefully wiped away the dust that had settled in the kitchen, then took out the ingredients he had just bought from the supermarket downstairs. At that hour, no bakeries were still open, but following an online recipe to make something simple wasn’t too difficult.
Zhu Lianzhen looked around the house and noticed that the furniture had a vintage Western style—elegant yet effortlessly modern. It wasn’t like some homes where mismatched colors were crammed together in pursuit of a sense of luxury.
“Can I take a look at your room?” Zhu Lianzhen saw that the bedroom door was open. The bookshelf was packed with books and workbooks—clearly Tan Qing’s room.
“Go ahead, there’s nothing special,” Tan Qing replied from the kitchen.
Zhu Lianzhen stood in front of the bookshelf, flipping through the books Tan Qing had read. The extracurricular ones were mostly literary classics and bilingual drama translations, while the schoolbooks were filled with annotations and notes on nearly every page. The workbooks, especially, had incorrect answers marked in red pen, with full explanations of the solving process and what the original mistake had been. The further he flipped, the higher the accuracy became.
No wonder Tan Qing had always been so patient when explaining problems to him before, even offering multiple methods to help him understand. Zhu Lianzhen closed the book and went to the kitchen to help. Though “help” was a bit of a stretch. At least he didn’t get in the way. In the end, all he really did was help Tan Qing put the baking tray into the oven and set a timer.
They went to the living room to watch TV. Zhu Lianzhen chatted casually, and Tan Qing responded patiently to everything, but his gaze never really focused on the screen, drifting to any corner of the room his eyes happened to catch.
Ling Ni had asked him a few times before—why don’t you ever invite your classmates over? You’re way too reserved.
Tan Qing truly had never considered it. “Home” was a private space to him. It carried all his memories from childhood to now, and the moment he stepped out the front door, it felt like he could wrap himself in a completely different identity.
He had never been able to picture what it would look like to bring someone from the outside into this space, and he never felt the need to.
“It’s time!” Zhu Lianzhen jumped up from the sofa, ran to the kitchen, and took out the freshly baked muffins, then stuck a candle into one. “What time is it? It’s not midnight yet, is it?”
Tan Qing glanced at his phone. “Still ten minutes.”
Now I can picture it.
“Make a wish!” Zhu Lianzhen held the small cake in front of Tan Qing.
Tan Qing closed his eyes.
He couldn’t remember the last time he had made a birthday wish. It hadn’t been something he did in at least five years. Even now, with his eyes closed, his mind felt completely blank.
Maybe he was just too scared to wish for too much. The moment he asked for something, the universe would surely take something else away from him.
Tan Qing opened his eyes and blew out the candle.
–
After the first round of promotions ended, they still had numerous commercial performances lined up. During their trainee days, they had longed desperately to debut. Now that they were truly working around the clock, they began to complain endlessly to Pei Qiao.
Fortunately, the fans’ passionate support gave them plenty of energy. After every all-out performance, praise and screams arrived right on cue.
Tonight’s show had been an outdoor one. After the crowd dispersed in the evening, Zhu Lianzhen sat on the edge of the stage drinking water, his legs dangling and swinging. He stuck his hand into his pocket and felt a clump of sequins. It was leftover stage props from today’s performance, and a bit of it still remained.
A prank crossed his mind. He kept his hand in his pocket, glanced around, and quickly spotted the figure he was looking for.
“Tan Qing!” Zhu Lianzhen called him over.
Tan Qing walked up, but before he could say anything, he suddenly saw Zhu Lianzhen raise his hand quickly. In the next instant, countless shimmering particles rained down, dazzling his eyes.
The sequins lingered in the air for only a few seconds, like a fleeting galaxy stretched between him and Zhu Lianzhen.
Although his prank had succeeded, Zhu Lianzhen forgot to laugh. He sat on the edge of the platform, and there wasn’t much difference in height between them. When he looked down, he could see the glitter on the top of Tan Qing’s head, shining like shattered petals.
A thought came to him out of nowhere: Tan Qing really suited glittery things.
Tan Qing tilted his face up, even his eyelashes dusted with shimmering flecks. For a moment, he didn’t know how to react. He just became acutely aware of one thing: the distance between him and Zhu Lianzhen had already become this close.
No longer just a few fleeting encounters between strangers. No longer a face buried in the crowd. No longer a one-sided encounter.
Now, at this distance, through Zhu Lianzhen’s eyes, Tan Qing could see himself.
There was still plenty of noise around them, but Tan Qing couldn’t hear it. He took a step forward, even closer to Zhu Lianzhen. “Clean it off.”
Hearing his voice, Zhu Lianzhen sensed that something about the atmosphere was unusual. He was momentarily dazed, but still leaned in as Tan Qing had asked, blowing the sequins off his hair. Tan Qing’s breath was right there, faintly brushing against his neck.
Tan Qing felt a slight pang of regret—why hadn’t he made a wish on his birthday?
Was it because he always realized things too late? Even his hopes for the future came as afterthoughts.
This brand-new wish had emerged from the dusk he longed for, stirred in the morning he couldn’t let go of, and landed in the night of this very moment.
It bloomed quietly and kept him awake the entire night.
