GHLCS Chapter134

There were documents piled up half a person’s height, various Chinese medicines scattered around, the mortar was filled with powder, and the figure sleeping on the table even had an herb in his hand.

 

When Gu Fangfei entered the medical hall, she was choked by the strong smell of medicine. She coughed twice, put down the things in her arms, and patted Xu Hang on the shoulder.

 

Xu Hang finally woke up from his exhausted sleep. He worked endlessly to sort out the prescriptions, his eyes turned red, but there was still little effect.

 

As soon as he saw Gu Fangfei, Xu Hang rubbed his eyes and said, “You’re here. Did you bring me the things?”

 

If possible, Gu Fangfei truly wished she didn’t have to give it to him: “There’s a war going on in Guangyue, this thing is not easy to get. What are your plans for the future?”

 

He glanced at the package that Gu Fangfei brought. It was heavy, so it must have weighed a lot. He said, “This is the last time I’ll ask you for it. After this period of time, I will try to quit.”

 

“Really?”

 

Xu Hang smiled weakly: “…En.”

 

Although she got a positive answer, Gu Fangfei still felt uneasy. Looking at the messy desk, she also began to worry about the country and the people: “China is facing war again. I don’t know where my father got the news from. He has started to move the whole family out of Hezhou and even bought a boat ticket to go abroad. I think it’s time to find Yuan Ye.”

 

“You’re willing to go and see him?”

 

“He wrote to me.”

 

Xu Hang’s eyebrows jumped: “How is he…?”

 

“He just finished his father’s funeral, and he found a job. He’s doing well now.”

 

“It’s better for you to leave,” Xu Hang looked at her with a gentle gaze. “You two can stay together in a peaceful place forever and never come back.”

 

“What about you?” Gu Fangfei leaned forward a little, put her hand on the back of Xu Hang’s hand, and tears could be seen in her eyes. “I always have a premonition that if I leave like this, I’m afraid I won’t be able to see you again in the future.”

 

It is very rare for her to show her little girl side in front of others. Perhaps it is because she once called Xu Hang “Gege”, so she feels that she will always be the little sister who can act coquettishly.

 

Xu Hang touched her hair and cheek: “Fangfei, this is why I didn’t want to recognize you before. You should just treat me as if I died more than ten years ago, and you don’t have to care about me or miss me.”

 

Gu Fangfei pulled his hand back and held him tightly: “Promise me! You will be fine! Whether what you are going to do succeeds or not, you will be fine!”

 

She seemed to be determined not to give up unless Xu Hang agreed. Feeling her care and concern, Xu Hang’s heart melted little by little but also turned into dust little by little.

 

He looked out the window, at the distant horizon, and his voice became a little empty: “Alright.” He turned his head slowly. “Autumn is here, winter is coming soon. After winter, when the peonies in Qiyuan bloom again next spring, I will invite you to listen to the best Yue Opera.”

 

The corners of Gu Fangfei’s mouth slowly rose up, making a beautiful angle, and she nodded.

 

In fact, what Xu Hang was thinking about was really a bit fanciful. He was looking forward to God dropping a pie on his head, allowing him to easily solve the difficult problem in front of him.

 

To say it’s a fantasy, but it’s true that fate is unpredictable. There was a pie, not too big nor too small, hanging just above Xu Hang’s head, just about to fall.

 

To be honest, this pie was handed over by the instigator himself.

 

Ever since Kenji revealed his feelings, Chang Ling returned to Faxi Temple, closed the door to visitors, and chanted sutras under the Bodhi tree every day without eating or drinking.

 

Although the little monk was young, he also knew what this ascetic practice meant, and he was in tears all day long, but Chang Ling did not change his mind until Kuromiya Keiko came to him.

 

The young monk threw stones at her, saying, “It’s all your fault! Master became weird after meeting you! You are a big demon!”

 

Ignoring the child’s mischief, Kuromiya Keiko locked him outside the temple and walked in alone.

 

Under the Bodhi tree, Chang Ling knelt on a cushion, with fallen leaves on his body. His back was slightly bent, his clothes were covered with dust, and his face looked haggard and also darker.

 

Kuromiya Keiko slowly walked to Chang Ling, slowly squatted down, gently knelt on the futon, and carefully touched Chang Ling’s thin face: “Chang Ling.”

 

Chang Ling frowned and refused to open his eyes.

 

The sandalwood beside her burned to ashes, and Kuromiya Keiko shed a tear: “I have been telling myself to stop caring about you, but I still can’t do it. When we fight, you always win, and I lose.”

 

At this point, Chang Ling finally opened his eyes and clasped his hands together: “You have your life, and I have my destiny, don’t cling to me anymore.”

 

Kuromiya Keiko rarely showed her power to Chang Ling: “Hezhou is really not safe anymore, Chang Ling, I can’t tell you too much. When the war breaks out, Hezhou will be completely destroyed. I can’t take care of others, I can only take care of you. If you don’t want to… I will still take you away even if I have to knock you out!”

 

Chang Ling looked at her steadily and said, “You can take the body with you, but not the soul. What’s the point of taking a corpse with you?”

 

“Why do you have to die for no reason?”

 

Chang Ling said nothing. He had disgraced Buddhism and should have died in Nirvana to atone for his sins.

 

He didn’t say anything, but Kuromiya Keiko understood very well and grabbed Chang Ling’s wrist: “If you continue to torture yourself like this, I will take revenge on others. If you torture yourself for one more day, I will let Hezhou City have one more life to accompany you.”

 

It’s alright to go to hell yourself, but it’s not alright to hurt others. Chang Ling, who was being held at the waist, immediately said, “Don’t hurt innocent people…”

 

Seeing that he still had some reservations, Kuromiya Keiko made up her mind and directly said, “Come with me, let’s go to Japan, and we can be a couple, alright? You like to chant sutras, so we can build a Buddhist temple at home. You don’t actually hate me, so let’s give it a try. I will give you a better life than you have now.”

 

Chang Ling’s eyelashes trembled, and he raised his head to meet Kuromiya Keiko’s eyes but suddenly avoided them unnaturally: “No… this is impossible. Only, only converting to Buddhism can make me happy!”

 

Kuromiya Keiko approached him: “Your heart is beating fast, you are guilty.”

 

“Absolutely not!”

 

He couldn’t admit it, absolutely couldn’t. The Buddha was sitting in the temple, in front of the Buddha of supreme merit. How could he blaspheme it with human love?

 

Thinking of this, he shook off Kuromiya Keiko’s hand with force. Her long nails hooked the Buddhist beads on Chang Ling’s wrist, and the Bodhi bead bracelet broke. In addition to the beads scattered all over the ground, a thin black thread also broke and fell off.

 

It just happened to fall in front of the two of them.

 

That thin black rope was not a hemp rope. It looked very shiny. The moment it fell, Chang Ling quickly snatched it and held it in his palm.

 

The more one tries to hide something, the more obvious it becomes.

 

Kuromiya Keiko saw what it was at a glance. It was clearly a strand of braided long hair.

 

Do you know that the long hair is reserved for you?

 

When she stayed overnight in Chang Ling’s meditation room while drunk, she secretly cut a lock of hair and hid it under his pillow. Her mother had told her that this would allow her to communicate her thoughts with the person sleeping on the pillow.

 

She knew it was a joke, but she was willing to give it a try. She thought that Chang Ling would treat the hair as ordinary garbage after discovering it, but she didn’t expect that Chang Ling would hide it so deeply.

 

“So you… so you also… it’s not just my wishful thinking, right?” Kuromiya Keiko smiled with tears in her eyes, her expression changing from sad to happy, and she couldn’t even control the movements of her facial features.

 

Chang Ling, whose feelings were seen through, had completely lost all hope. His face was as pale as death, his brows were locked in a big “川” shape, he clenched his fists again and again, then gritted his teeth and threw the strand of hair into the incense burner.

 

“Don’t!” Kuromiya Keiko was shocked and wanted to reach out to save her hair, but her hair was so flammable that as soon as it touched the fire, flames jumped out and burned up immediately.

 

It seemed that what was burned was not the hair, but every inch of Kuromiya Keiko’s heart.

 

“Chang Ling!”

 

Chang Ling turned his head away from looking at Kuromiya Keiko and said loudly in a tone that convinced himself, “It’s just a strand of hair. It can’t prove anything. I have decided to spend the rest of my life here. These worldly things cannot be brought with you when you are born and cannot be taken with you either when you die. It’s the same even if they are burned.”

 

“You have me in your heart! You have me! What are you going to say when you get in front of the Buddha? You shouldn’t be a Buddhist. Why are you forcing yourself? Or is it that what you can’t accept is not your own feelings, but me as a person?”

 

“I have made up my mind, please leave.” Chang Ling clasped his hands together and asked her to leave in a weak tone.

 

Kuromiya Keiko was shocked by his determination to die, tears welled up in her eyes, and she bit her lip: “You would rather die by yourself than go with me? Could it be that… having feelings for me… makes you so sick that you want to die?!”

 

Chang Ling shook his head and said nothing.

 

Wiping away her tears gently, Kuromiya Keiko took a deep breath, and as if she had risked everything, she ripped off another string of Buddhist beads from Chang Ling’s hand, broke the string, and the beads fell to the ground one by one, with a sparse voice: “What Buddhist scriptures are you still chanting! What do you mean by saving all living beings? Why would you rather save all living beings than me? Is the suffering of all living beings worth saving, but my suffering is not worth it?!”

 

After yelling this, Kuromiya Keiko ran away. When she reached the door, she pounded on it hard and left behind her last words.

 

“When you didn’t love me, I thought it was my destiny, but now it is clear that you have despised my feelings. Fine, fine… aren’t you the sentient being who cares the most? Aren’t you going to deny it even if you die? I will destroy everyone. I want to see what excuse you can use! I want to see how long you can keep being stubborn!”

 

The door panel fell to one side pitifully, then bounced back miserably, making a creaking sound for a long time.

 

Chang Ling bent down and picked up the Buddhist beads one by one, holding them in the palm of his hand. After picking up five or six beads, he banged his head on the ground in pain and could not get up for a long time.

 

Kuromiya Keiko was right to scold him. He couldn’t even get over the word “love”, so how could he have the qualifications to wear a monk’s robe and recite Buddhist scriptures?

 

Because of love, there is sorrow; because of love, there is fear.

 

If one is free from love, there is neither sorrow nor fear.

 

As if he had touched charcoal fire, Chang Ling suddenly withdrew his hand that was picking up the Buddhist beads and stood up abruptly. He had not eaten or drunk anything for a long time, and his vision suddenly went dark. He almost fell down and could only stand up by holding on to a tree trunk.

 

He did not kill Boren, but Boren died because of him[mfn]I didn’t kill Bo Ren, but Bo Ren died because of me means that although I hated Bo Ren, I didn’t mean to kill him, but because of my hatred, Bo Ren was killed, and Bo Ren’s death was indirectly related to me.[/mfn]. His crime was extremely heinous.

 

Finally, this is the only way out.