Standing in front of the door of Jinyan Tang, looking at the white gauze fluttering in the wind, Xu Hang already understood.
Unfortunately, now is not the time to mourn for the death of an elder.
He walked in one small step at a time. It was clearly the door to his home, but it was so difficult to walk in. Yes, he had walked this road for four years, so of course it was not easy to walk.
He crossed the threshold, walked through a door, and then went forward for only ten steps to the main hall. Duan Yelin stood tall, looking majestic but lonely and tired.
He turned slowly and met Xu Hang’s eyes, just like two hollow glass balls colliding with each other, making a crisp clicking sound, and then shattering into pieces.
Xu Hang took his first ten steps, as if carrying a heavy weight. These ten steps were the most difficult for him.
Memories were like a kaleidoscope, playing out in his mind scene by scene. Every step he took was like switching to a certain side, and sounds rang in his ears.
The sound originated in this place, with the fragrance of peony, low and hoarse. After tracing the stream, he followed the petal rain path to find its source.
The first step.
“Smells so good…”
It’s about flowers, but also about the person.
The second step.
“I think you might miss the peonies in Shucheng, so I found a peony garden this time. These are the best quality ones that are dried in the sun. If you don’t like them, just put them somewhere inconspicuous.”
Unfortunately, the sachets have lost their fragrance now, and it’s time to replace them with new fillings.
The third step.
“Fourth Uncle was afraid that I am too protective of my own shortcomings, so he wants to discipline me. Don’t look at the scary wound, he was very careful when he hit me. I don’t feel any pain, it’s nothing serious.”
The scar forms a scab and then falls off, but the mark remains.
The fourth step.
“Shaotang, I defend Hezhou’s peace for a selfish purpose, hoping that you will never fall into the situation of having to raise a gun to save yourself again.”
You can’t, you can’t.
The fifth step.
“I am only a bandit here, but… I believe that one day you will be willing to be taken away by me.”
Am I willing? Maybe.
The sixth step.
“Take another step forward and I’ll break your legs!”
He told others to hide while he rushed forward.
The seventh step.
“Shaotang, we won’t have this day. I will never let you die.”
He was so domineering that he seemed to rush into the underworld and ask the King of Hell for his life.
The eighth step.
“That’s not in vain. Just call my name, and I’ll promise to help you.”
Yelin, Yelin.
The ninth step.
“You should stay as a physician, and I won’t be a commander anymore. How about opening a martial arts school?”
That’s good.
The ten steps.
“Shaotang, comeback sooner.”
……
Xu Hang stood steadily in front of Duan Yelin, slowly raised his head, and looked straight at Duan Yelin with a pair of eyes as clear as mountain springs. Before he spoke, he frowned.
This is how it was. When he was like this in the past, Duan Yelin would have embraced him tenderly. However, at this moment, he could only endure it desperately.
He began to regret it and asked himself if he should not have met Jiang Sheng. If he didn’t meet him, he could continue to be stupid, continue to pretend to be ignorant, allow Xu Hang to deceive him, and allow himself to deceive himself.
Even if he was deceived today, there was still tomorrow, but the window paper has been broken and the wind is blowing in. He can no longer pretend not to see it. It’s too late to go back.
He dryly said, “You… are back.”
Xu Hang took a deep breath and raised his chin slightly: “It’s so quiet, Duan Yelin, it’s as if there are only two of us in this Hezhou city.”
As if to confirm Xu Hang’s words, the wind made the window creak, and then it closed with a snap.
When Duan Yelin was hesitating about how to start revealing the scar, Xu Hang took the first step and said it bluntly.
“You know, when I first crawled out of the ruins of Shucheng, my home was also so quiet, with only my voice. Since then, no matter how noisy and chaotic the world is, I can only hear the dead silence of the grave.”
Hiss—some invisible things were finally torn apart.
This frankness made Duan Yelin want to smile bitterly: “You really don’t want to continue to hide it at all.”
In his view, only those who care would try to conceal it, while those who are indifferent behave without restraint.
Xu Hang looked at him, pinched his palm with his fingernails, and continued, “I’m tired, and you must be tired too, Duan Yelin, if you can’t continue singing, don’t sing anymore.”
“I never sang, you were the one acting, right?” Duan Yelin took a few steps forward, anger in his eyes, the kind of anger that pitied someone’s misfortune, and he uttered three words from his back teeth, “Hang Shaotang?”
The moment he heard the name, Xu Hang’s eyelashes trembled violently.
“This name sounds so familiar… and yet so strange. No one has called me like this for eleven years already. I really… can’t react.” Xu Hang said as if he wanted to force a smile but found that he didn’t have the strength to do it.
Hang Shaotang, he abandoned this surname and name and buried himself with the ruins.
On one hand, he changed his name to conceal his identity; on the other, he couldn’t bear to stain the name carrying his parents’ hopes with the bloodshed committed by someone he no longer recognized as himself.
To be honest, he had never really hidden himself.
His biggest concealment was that Duan Yelin did not pursue the matter.
This precious trust, in Duan Yelin’s eyes, has become a joke, a symbol of his own stupidity. He grabbed Xu Hang’s hand tightly, tightening it little by little: “Today I know why you hate Qingming Festival so much, why you hate to hear about Shucheng, why you get angry when you see me preparing food from Shucheng! You have so many stories, but I don’t know any of them! This hand… looks so beautiful, but besides saving people… it’s actually used to kill people?”
The extreme emotions made Duan Yelin lose his strength, and he pinched with all his strength. Xu Hang frowned in pain, but he neither pulled his hand back nor cried out, he just endured it.
Duan Yelin was even more annoyed when he found out, but he still let go of his hand and just held his shoulders: “Does it hurt? You don’t even say it hurts, but just grit your teeth and endure it? Hang Shaotang, how can there be someone who doesn’t even say a word when it hurts and is as patient as you in this world? Is it true that no one in this world will make you sincere?!”
“Sincere?” Xu Hang showed a sarcastic and self-deprecating smile. It was not a faint smile but a real laugh. He pushed Duan Yelin’s hands away and took two steps back. “I don’t know who you heard all these stories from, whether they were whitewashed or exaggerated… but you probably know how I got to where I am today. If I really had that kind of thing, I would have died four years ago!”
He looked over Duan Yelin’s shoulder and saw the painting in the main hall. He walked towards the painting and touched the swallow in his painting. “I was the one who killed all of them, from Wang Ronghuo to today’s Zhang Yaochen. I did everything. It allowed Zhang Xiuming to kidnap me on purpose. The gunfight on Shanghai Beach was also caused by me. The golden hairpin killer who made you distressed and frightened was me!”
He tore down the painting of the ‘Flying Swallow on Fire’ on the wall, his eyes filled with sorrow: “I created this painting with blood and paint. I placed it in the main hall with my own hands so that I could see it from time to time. It is to remind myself how I crawled out of the pile of corpses and survived. For the sake of the four words ‘blood debt must be paid with blood’, I can give up everything!”
As soon as he finished speaking, he threw the painting to the ground. The wooden board broke into two pieces, and the swallow was also broken.
The swallow has escaped from the fire and no longer needs to be confined to the small wooden frame.
Duan Yelin looked at the broken painting and felt that what Xu Hang threw on the ground was not the painting, but his own heart and the bond between them.
His brows were knitted tightly together, his tongue felt slightly bitter, his throat was dry, and his chest was stuffy. “I always thought that you hated me because I imprisoned you in Xiaotong Guan and because I ignored your wishes. But in fact, you didn’t care about me at all, right? Your heart was filled with hatred, you didn’t even leave any hope for me. You used me as a stepping stone to complete your grand plan! All my efforts were worthless in your eyes, and I was even just a pawn in your plan!”
Xu Hang bit his lower lip and said, “Speaking of which, I should thank you. Without you, Commander Duan’s ‘help’, I would not be able to fulfill my long-cherished wish so quickly.”
“Why are you doing this!” Duan Yelin finally couldn’t hold back any longer and hugged Xu Hang tightly, he hugged him tightly, trying to rub him into his bones. This way of hugging made both of them feel pain. “I don’t believe you can’t see how far I can go for you. Back then, I could massacred Jinjia Tang for you. Why don’t you believe that I can help you get revenge? As long as you treat me… no, even if you only had a little trust in me, you wouldn’t have come to this situation today! Shaotang, you clearly know it, you clearly know it!”
Xu Hang was hugged with his chin resting on Duan Yelin’s shoulder. He could hardly breathe, his eyes were empty. He heard Duan Yelin’s roar in his ears, but his whole head felt dizzy.
He stretched out his hand, almost wanting to hug Duan Yelin back.
He froze for a moment, then lost his strength and dropped his hands.
He whispered in Duan Yelin’s ear, “Duan Yelin, you are also responsible for pushing me to this point.”
Duan Yelin seemed to be under a spell, and he was completely frozen, unable to move for a long time. Slowly, he loosened his hands, stepped back a few inches, and looked at Xu Hang with wide eyes in disbelief.
Xu Hang’s hand gently rested on one of his shoulders: “Do you remember the small bite mark on your back near your shoulder?”
Duan Yelin probably knew what Xu Hang wanted to say.
“It was me who bit you.”
“…It was you?”
The past events were like a thunderstorm, crashing down on them and soaking their hearts, which didn’t even have an umbrella.
Duan Yelin looked at Xu Hang’s lips opening and closing, listening to each word that came out of them. It was as if he was hearing them through a heavy rainstorm, chaotic and yet extremely clear.
“Eleven years ago, you were just a small captain. On the night when the scorched earth policy was announced, you followed orders and set fire to Shucheng like all the other soldiers, right? How interesting, Duan Yelin, you were the one who set the fire, and you were also the one who saved people! It was you who pushed me into the fire pit, and it was also you who pulled me out of hell! Tell me… should I thank you or hate you?”
