Happy match Chapter 2

To avoid accidentally shaking the golden bell and striking something without reason, I removed the bell and hung it on my waist as a backup.

I wasn’t particularly worried about any immortals plotting against me; after all, those decisive strikes of heavenly lightning not only established my authority, but also reshaped the celestial realm’s atmosphere.

Across the Nine Heavens, the immortals began spreading the story, saying that “Heaven” “The Heavenly Way,” or “The ancient god” had sent a messenger down to deliver divine punishment, striking lazy immortals with thunder tribulations.

The burning of the Hall of Longing’s ten-thousand-year-old Longing Tree and the severe injury of the God of Love, Shen Yuan, became cautionary tales.

Those immortals who neglected their duties in broad daylight were effectively intimidated. As a result, by day, they all resumed their proper roles and responsibilities. However, come nightfall, they began engaging in secret romantic liaisons.

I remembered the ancient god’s command—to ensure they turn their passion into fear. Their daytime restraint followed by nighttime indulgence certainly didn’t meet the standard of “fear.”

So, over the next two or three months, I spent the nights searching for “pairs of lovebirds” meeting secretly, whether it be under the moonlight, atop solitary clouds, or amidst the drifting stars.

In misty celestial pools or dense peach blossom forests, wherever I encountered a couple, I caught them. Like cleansing an infestation, I swept through the Nine Heavens until there were no immortals left indulging in romance.

I even kept a small notebook, recording their names and celestial positions.

For those caught once, I issued a verbal warning. Those caught twice were sent to the celestial prison. And for those caught three times, stubbornly refusing to reform, I kicked them down to the mortal realm, where they would experience the hardships of a life devoid of food and other comforts. 

Of course, there were those dissatisfied and rebellious. With a swift tug of the golden bell and a targeted strike of lightning, their resistance was promptly silenced.

For those who remained defiant even after being struck, the worst offenders were kicked down to the mortal realm, while the less aggressive ones were left in the celestial prison.

Such decisive and thorough measures didn’t take long to bring order to the Nine Heavens. Soon, all the immortals still active in the realm had fallen in line.

Finally, I implemented a five-day cycle task for the immortals.

I instructed them to write reflective essays every five days. Each essay had to include a summary of their past five days, a plan for the next five days, and reflections grounded in the present. These reflections had to address both emotional and work-related perspectives, fostering complete self-awareness.

Then, without pause, they were to continue striving and dedicate themselves to their next tasks.

By the third month of my presence in the Nine Heavens, within my sight, not a single immortal dared to engage in romantic affairs.

Everyone was industrious, self-disciplined, and fully devoted to their celestial missions, solving long standing cases and rediscovering the purpose of being an immortal.

They no longer had the time for romance, nor the energy for love.

The faint traces of exhaustion under their eyes—well, those shadows were evidence of their growth! After all, light creates shadows! It’s all a testament to their progress!

All fruits must weather storms! All mature immortals must understand the burden of responsibility!

I believe the current atmosphere in the Nine Heavens is good—no, excellent—no, absolutely perfect.

Watching everyone transform into ascetic, graceful beings due to their busy schedules, I couldn’t be more satisfied.

As for Shen Yuan, the “butterfly,” he deserves a special mention.

Ever since being struck by me, for the past three months, his Hall of Longing has kept its doors firmly closed, adhering strictly to the “law” and complying with the rules.

Occasionally, when I pass his hall while hunting down lovebirds, I notice a few immortals leaving his place one by one. It seems they visit him out of camaraderie, checking in on the God of Love, who had been struck by lightning.

I naturally wouldn’t ban such inconsequential comings and goings entirely. Shen Yuan’s overall attitude had been cooperative.

I empathized with him.

As the Matchmaker, the God of Love, he was entrusted with overseeing all love and longing under the heavens—a duty meant to bring people joy through emotions. Unfortunately, he had been overzealous before, tipping the balance of the Nine Heavens.

Still, striking him with heavenly lightning was perhaps an overreaction. Using him to establish authority had been impulsive. Once I’ve accumulated enough merit and after my return to the divine realm, I must apologize to him properly.

This thought lingered until the hundredth day of my time in the Nine Heavens.

On that day, the weather in the celestial realm was perfect, with a gentle breeze. As always, I rested in the Celestial Orchard, leaning against my favorite celestial fruit tree and reviewing the entries in my notebook.

I noticed that the list of names had been growing shorter and shorter. It made me wonder—perhaps it was time to report my progress to the ancient god? I could also inquire whether I’d accrued enough merit by now. Was I close to becoming a mature fruit? Could this mean my task was complete?

However, before I could light incense to summon the god, a group of immortals burst through the doors. Another group descended from the sky, while yet another rose from the ground…

They surrounded me from above, below, and every side.

I looked at them and quietly reached for the golden bell hanging at my waist…

But when I reached for it, I realized something that made me want to leap out of my skin:

My golden bell was gone!

Shocked, I hastily glanced at the ground—nothing!

I quickly scanned the bodies of the immortals around me—nothing!

Finally, as my gaze passed over the grim-faced immortals closing in on me, it abruptly froze! For in the gaps between their ranks, I caught sight of someone!

Dressed in pink robes, with a white jade hairpin and red threads binding his hair, which wrapped around him like delicate silk…

He stood smiling leisurely at the back of the group, seemingly uninvolved in the conflict. Yet as his hand lifted ever so slightly, I saw the vibrant red thread entwined around his fingers—and dangling from that thread was…

My golden bell!

He had stolen the bell from my waist!

“Thief!” I truly jumped up in anger, shouting at him.

But the next moment, the crowd of immortals swarmed me and bound me up.

Their magic materialized as a riot of glowing colors—red, blue, green, purple—wrapping me like a spinning top. From head to toe, I was completely restrained, with only my head left exposed to breathe.

Then, with clumsy coordination, they hoisted me above their heads and began carrying me out of the Celestial Orchard.

It was as if I hadn’t come to the celestial Nine Heavens, but rather, to some primitive human tribe…

“You dare! This is insolent!” I shouted furiously. “I am the God of Laws! Sent here by divine decree to—mmph!”

A red thread shot up to my face, tightly sealing my mouth shut.

Seething with rage, I turned my head and saw the pink-clad butterfly standing apart, still looking entirely uninvolved. He simply stood at the edge of the crowd, watching me with a faint smirk, and quietly raised his hand, pressing a finger to his lips.

“Shhh.”

Amid the ruckus, I thought I heard his taunting yet playful warning: “Keep quiet, Little Fruit Immortal.”

My anger burned hotter.

But there was no escaping this.

Carried by the group of immortals, I was taken all the way to the Celestial Perish Platform.

Though named the Celestial Perish Platform, it wasn’t a place where immortals were executed—it was the place where they were cast down to the mortal realm.

Not more than ten days ago, I had thrown the last stubbornly lovestruck celestial lord off this very platform and locked his equally unrepentant lover in the celestial prison for reflection.

That day, when I separated them, the celestial lord had cursed me fiercely, and the celestial maiden had cried pitifully with pearly tears. The surrounding immortals who had witnessed the scene were stiflingly silent.

But I remained unmoved.

Little did I know that their silence was the calm before the storm.

And now, it was my turn.

The immortals hurled me heavily onto the edge of the Celestial Perish Platform. I let out a muffled groan, rolling twice, nearly tumbling off the platform altogether.

Clinging to the edge, I glared at the crowd before me, struggling and muffledly attempting to make a sound. They stared back at me with their hollow, weary, and lifeless eyes—eyes that carried the weight of exhaustion and despair.

“No more five-day reflections, not even if the Heavenly Emperor himself demands them!”

“What God of Laws? You’re nothing but a tyrannical fruit fairy lording over us with your golden bell!”

“It’s been a hundred days—one hundred days since I was separated from the one I love. Does anyone know what those days have been like for me?!”

“Tearing down a temple is better than breaking up a marriage! You, with your cold, unfeeling, heartless torture, will now know the endless suffering we have endured!”

Their resentful glares pierced me.

I struggled and, through coordinated effort with the muscles in my face, managed to free my mouth from the red thread. The thread slid down to my neck, tightening like a noose meant to end me.

“How dare you!” I shouted, holding onto my composure and authority. “Have you not considered why the ancient god sent me here? It was because of your unchecked indulgences, your abandonment of duty! Do you not realize how innocent the mortals below are? It is my role to restore the balance of the heavens! Release me at once! Or do you truly believe that without the golden bell, I can’t handle you all?”

Having grown up in the divine realm, competing with my seven-thousand-nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine fruit siblings for sunlight and nourishment from the mother tree had been my greatest skill.

I hadn’t learned much in the way of celestial powers… but intimidation? That, I could manage.

“I am the God of Laws,” I declared, calm and self-assured.

My words hung in the air. The immortals’ faces remained drained and bitter, but some began to waver, their apprehension of my previous “lightning-fast” methods evident.

Feeling a sense of control return, I prepared to continue speaking—when, from behind the crowd of immortals, the crisp ring of the golden bell echoed.

At that sound, not only did I, but every single immortal present visibly flinched.

“Bang!”

It wasn’t the sound of heavenly lightning descending—it was someone imitating it, producing an exaggerated sound effect.

The immortals instinctively flinched and scattered.

But nothing happened. Nothing except Shen Yuan’s hearty laughter behind them, as crisp and resounding as if it could shatter jade bells.

“Little Fruit Immortal, I’ve been watching you for a hundred days now. Your posturing and bluffing won’t fool me a second time.”

The immortals automatically parted, forming a path that gave me a direct view of Shen Yuan, standing leisurely at the back of the group. He was shaking my golden bell in his hand, just as casually as he had swirled his wine glass the first day I met him.

He was full of disdain and amusement.

“If you truly have the skills, why not deal with me right here and now?” Shen Yuan challenged.

Internally, I screamed, “How could I have misjudged him so badly? I was actually planning to apologize before returning to the divine realm!?” Externally, I struggled to retort, “Your Hall of Longing has kept its doors closed for a hundred days—how have you been watching me for a hundred days? Celestial Lord Shen Yuan, I see now you’ve forgotten what it feels like to be struck by heavenly lightning!”

Shen Yuan chuckled lightly. “It seems the God of Law couldn’t even discern my true form. Truly lacking in skill, aren’t you?”

Startled, I saw a smirk spread among some of the immortals standing nearby.

“Celestial Lord Shen Yuan was born from the Longing Tree and became immortal—he’s the only one capable of governing matters of love. Since the dawn of heaven and earth, he has been rooted in the Nine Heavens. Every Longing Tree within the realm is under his control!”

Born from the Longing Tree?

Could it be that the tree inside the Hall of Longing was his true body?

Was he the one who took both heavenly lightning strikes that day?!

One strike was deliberate, aimed at the “butterfly’s” face; another was accidental, landing on his true body…

And thus, I truly made myself an enemy.

The immortal who had been speaking seemed unaware of the whirlwind of thoughts in my head and continued: “The Celestial Orchard is half celestial fruit trees and half Longing Trees. You’ve been here for a hundred days, yet you never realized?”

Longing Trees in the orchard…

So, for the entire hundred days I’ve been here, I was operating right under his nose!

No wonder he dared to act against me! No wonder he stole my golden bell! And those people entering and leaving his Hall of Longing alone—it wasn’t just to check on him after being struck by lightning!

It was all to conspire with him for this very day!

I cursed Shen Yuan: “You plant Longing Trees in my orchard! You’re despicable!”

Shen Yuan smiled lightly at me. “Nine Heavens and eight hundred immortals, abandoning celestial bonds for mortal ones—Little Fruit Immortal, wasn’t that your complaint? When they are united in love, deeply devoted, what would they plant if not Longing Trees—fruit trees?”

My heart seethed with silent resentment.

“Enough with the chatter!” the immortals erupted. “Throw her down!”

“Make sure she can’t ascend again! Make sure she can’t torment us anymore!”

“She disdains love! Let her experience it firsthand!”

“Yes! Let her experience love!”

As those words fell, countless magical artifacts lit up, their brilliant hues of red, blue, green, and purple converging. The radiance struck me, flinging me off the Celestial Platform.

With a cry of surprise, I began plummeting uncontrollably.

As the Nine Heavens grew farther and farther away, my last glance caught Shen Yuan standing at the edge of the platform, toying with my golden bell while watching the spectacle with schadenfreude.

Aside from him, every other immortal was cursing me.

The Nine Heavens, eight hundred immortals, united as one…

Cursing me…

They decreed that I must go to the human realm and find true love.

They said…

If I failed to find it, I would never ascend again—and worse, I would die.

I never expected that my hundredth day wouldn’t be the day I lit incense to summon the ancient god for my return. Instead, it became the day I was wrongfully accused and sent to undertake an even more outrageous mission.

True love!

What the hell is that?!