The outward journey was a clear, sunny day, but the return trip was a downpour.
Jiang Yunyu had angered the emperor. He was stripped of his title and was to be confined to the Jiang Mansion, effective immediately.
As dusk fell, the torrential rain continued. A eunuch held an umbrella for Ji Zhen, saying attentively, “The path is slippery, Young Master Xiao Ji. Please be careful.”
Ji Zhen hadn’t yet recovered from the day’s events. He looked up at the gloomy, misty sky. Jiang Yunyu’s striking figure on horseback remained vivid in his memory. Yet, with just one word from the emperor, the once-noble and proud young marquis was ruthlessly stripped of his high position.
Jiang Yunyu was Empress Xue’s nephew and the Crown Prince’s cousin, and his father was a key minister in the court. Yet, in an instant, the highly esteemed and privileged young man had fallen from the clouds into the mud.
Ji Zhen stopped in his tracks and suddenly snatched the oil-paper umbrella from the eunuch’s hand. As he took a step forward, Shen Yanqing blocked his way.
“What are you doing?”
“I…” Ji Zhen’s voice was hoarse. “I want to find my brother.”
Ji Zhen’s eyes were glistening, either from the mist of the rain or from unshed tears. He looked at Shen Yanqing with those shimmering eyes, as if he might start crying at any moment.
Shen Yanqing dismissed the two eunuchs holding umbrellas and calmly said, “Lord Ji is likely with the Crown Prince, discussing a plan. It would be of no use for you to go.”
Ji Zhen opened his lips. “But…”
The wind, mixed with rain, constantly blew into Ji Zhen’s robes, chilling his hands and feet. He eventually felt that Shen Yanqing’s words made some sense. He didn’t understand court schemes and couldn’t save Jiang Yunyu. Going there would only cause him to worry needlessly and might even add to his elder brother’s concerns. So, Ji Zhen had no choice but to suppress his turbulent emotions and give up on going.
The night journey was difficult. The path was muddy, and the carriage traveled in the pouring rain for two and a half hours before it finally stopped.
It was late when they arrived at the Shen Mansion. A servant stepped forward to draw back the bamboo curtain, and Yu He dismounted to hold an umbrella.
Shen Yanqing bent down slightly and carried the sleeping Ji Zhen out of the carriage. Ji Zhen was wrapped in a cloak, his body and face completely covered, untouched by the wind or rain.
Father Shen sighed. “Today was truly dangerous.”
As a Censorate Official for many years, he had seen countless factional strugglesa and the rise and fall of power. Until the very end, no one knew who would fall. He didn’t dare to make any firm statements, but he looked at Ji Zhen with a complex expression and let out a sigh of relief. “It’s a good thing that you and I, father and son, were able to protect ourselves.”
Shen Yanqing was noncommittal and said respectfully, “Mother has been waiting for a long time. Father, you should go and rest.”
Ji Zhen, still drowsy, heard the conversation. He slowly opened his blurred eyes and mumbled, “Are we home?”
Shen Yanqing walked steadily into the mansion with him in his arms. Tightening his embrace, he said, “Yes, we are home.”
Yu He followed closely, shielding them from the rain. He saw that one side of his master’s body was soaked, but not a single raindrop had fallen on the person in his arms. After a moment of surprise, he smiled happily.
Ji An was squatting in front of the room while dozing off. He jerked awake at the sound of footsteps and quickly had a maidservant serve the prepared ginger tea.
Seeing Ji Zhen being carried, he anxiously asked, “What happened, Young Master?”
Shen Yanqing put him on the bed. Ji Zhen crawled out of the cloak and said, “Nothing, I’m just sleepy.” His voice was weak, and he had a bit of a stuffy nose from just waking up, making him sound very dispirited.
Ji An held the ginger tea. “Young Master, please drink some.”
Ji Zhen shook his head. “I don’t want to drink that.”
“Then what would you like to drink, Young Master? I’ll go get it for you.”
Ji Zhen glanced at Shen Yanqing, who was taking off his half-wet outer robe, and whispered, “I want some plum wine.”
It was already Haishi[mfn]9-11 p.m.[/mfn], a time when they would normally be resting. Ji An looked troubled. “Young Master, it’s late. How about we drink it tomorrow?”
Ji Zhen drooped his head weakly. “Ji An, my heart feels heavy.”
Hearing this, Shen Yanqing threw his outer robe onto a stool and said without a change in expression, “Go get the wine.”
Although Ji An didn’t know what had happened at the banquet, he could guess from the looks of his two masters that it wasn’t good news. He responded with a soft “Yes.”
The plum wine was brewed in late winter and early spring, and it had been fermenting for over three months. When the jar was opened, the wine’s strong aroma was released, mixed with a faint, sweet, fruity scent.
Ji An turned up the candle flame, then left and closed the door.
Ji Zhen moved to the table, and without a word, poured the amber-colored wine into a cup and drank it in one gulp.
Shen Yanqing, having changed into dry clothes, also sat down. In the gentle candlelight, he quietly watched the weary-looking Ji Zhen.
Ji Zhen wasn’t tasting the wine at all; he was just gulping down one cup after another, clearly drinking to drown his sorrows. Such hurried drinking would easily lead to drunkenness. Soon, his hand movements became slow, and his eyes lost their clarity.
He twitched his nose slightly and asked the silent Shen Yanqing, “Why aren’t you drinking?”
Shen Yanqing poured him another cup. His voice was calm as he asked the question he had wanted to ask for a while already. “Why do you feel so heavy-hearted?”
Ji Zhen gulped down another cup. Still feeling it wasn’t enough, he reached for more, but Shen Yanqing caught his fingers.
In the flickering candlelight, Shen Yanqing’s eyes were ink-dark, impenetrable. “You still haven’t answered me yet.”
Ji Zhen blinked his slightly hot eyes. In his tipsy state, his thoughts were slow, but he still stumbled out a name. “Jiang Yunyu…”
Shen Yanqing’s eyes darkened. “Are you sad for him?”
Sad enough to get drunk in front of your own husband for a man you were once engaged to?
Ji Zhen’s eyes were filled with moisture. The words he had held in for the entire ride home were finally released. “Jiang Yunyu just didn’t want to marry Lingyue, and His Majesty stripped him of his title and confined him to his home. How is this any different from a forced transaction? Lingyue is the Third Prince’s sister. They clearly know that a consort has no real power, so why did she just happen to set her sights on Jiang Yunyu? I don’t believe there’s nothing fishy going on…”
On the way back, he thought about it over and over until his head was in a daze before he finally noticed something wasn’t right.
“Lingyue is the Third Prince’s sister. How could he treat his own sister’s marriage like a game?”
Shen Yanqing tightly held Ji Zhen’s fingers and asked, “You’re angry on their behalf?”
Ji Zhen slumped. “Yes.”
“Then what about you?”
Ji Zhen was taken aback by Shen Yanqing’s question and mumbled, “What about me?”
“You think His Majesty’s arranged marriage is a forced transaction, but how did you and I come to be married?”
It was like a single drop of water falling into a deep well, the echo resonating endlessly.
Jiang Yunyu today and Shen Yanqing three years ago were both equally helpless.
Ji Zhen felt like he had been struck by a stick, and he froze.
“Are you truly standing up for justice, or are you just unhappy because Jiang Yunyu was given an imperial marriage?”
Shen Yanqing pulled him forward until they were only two inches apart.
As their breaths intertwined, he seemed to see the “exchanging glances” between Ji Zhen and Jiang Yunyu at the Southern Garden once again. His voice became slower and heavier. “Ji Zhen, you are too harsh on others and too lenient with yourself.”
Ji Zhen felt like he was being choked in the throat by an invisible hand. His chest and lungs were so tight he couldn’t breathe, and the redness on his face from the wine instantly faded.
Shen Yanqing’s accusation made him feel like a ridiculous clown; his anger and indignation seemed utterly laughable. He was also an “executioner,” yet he was pretending to be sympathetic in front of a “victim.” How was his behavior any different from the emperor’s forced transaction? He was even getting a benefit and acting innocent. Who could be more shameless than him?
Tears welled up in Ji Zhen’s eyes. He suddenly found it difficult to face Shen Yanqing and trembled as he tried to pull his hand away from Shen Yanqing’s grip.
This act of evasion, in Shen Yanqing’s eyes, seemed to confirm his words that Ji Zhen might truly have a hidden agenda and couldn’t let go of his childhood friend, Jiang Yunyu.
Shen Yanqing subconsciously clenched his jaw, threw Ji Zhen’s hand away, and stood up. He looked down with a cold gaze. “Anyone can feel sorry for Jiang Yunyu, but you, Ji Zhen, you have no right to.”
Ji Zhen looked at the figure that was already at the door while supporting his weak body as he called out sorrowfully, “Shen Yanqing…”
The movement of opening the door paused.
But this time, Ji Zhen’s words weren’t a plea to stay. Instead, it was an apology filled with guilt and pain. “I have failed you.”
Shen Yanqing’s eyes narrowed. He mused, “What’s done is done. There’s no use talking about it now.”
Ji Zhen fell back onto the stool, and the hot tears that had been lingering in his eyes began to roll down.
After witnessing Jiang Yunyu’s fate for refusing the marriage, this was the first time in three years that he had deeply reflected on himself. But as Shen Yanqing said, it was too late. No amount of regret could change anything. However, if he could do it all over again, he would probably still selfishly abandon his principles and fly into the fire like a moth.
—
The eastern wing was brightly lit.
Yu He laid out a fresh quilt for his master with a look of confusion on his face.
Standing by the candle, Shen Yanqing said, “If you have something to say, just say it.”
“Then this subordinate will,” Yu He said while rubbing his nose cautiously. “Tonight, when this subordinate saw you carrying the Young Madam into the mansion, this subordinate thought the two of you had made up and would be living happily ever after. But then, less than an hour later, you’re sleeping in this room again. This subordinate really doesn’t understand…”
Shen Yanqing methodically trimmed the candlewick. The flickering flame was reflected in his eyes, and it seemed to stir up a heart that should have been calm. He looked away from the flame and said indifferently, “What do you think the Young Madam’s feelings for me are?”
Yu He answered quickly. “Of course, they are as deep as the sea and as true as can be.”
“What about my feelings for the Young Madam?”
Yu He choked up and scratched his head. “This subordinate thinks, thinks…”
It was clear to everyone that his master was cold and indifferent toward the young madam, but he didn’t dare speak his true thoughts. Instead, he avoided the question and mumbled, “Every couple has their own way of getting along.”
Shen Yanqing saw right through him. “You may go.”
Yu He felt as if he had been granted a reprieve. As he closed the door, he added, “Should this subordinate leave the door unlocked for the Young Madam?”
Everyone who served them in the courtyard knew that Ji Zhen would often sneak into the eastern wing to find Shen Yanqing in the middle of the night.
Yu He didn’t hear his master’s reply and took it as silent permission. He left a small gap in the door so Ji Zhen could push it open and enter whenever he came.
The candle was extinguished inside the room.
Outside, the rain fell steadily, a sound that usually lulled one to sleep, but the person on the bed was awake with eyes wide open.
A quarter of an hour, half an hour, then an hour passed. All he heard was the rain hitting the window screen, but not the familiar sound of footsteps.
An uncontrollable thought surfaced—why hasn’t he come yet?
He then felt a sense of absurdity.
Shen Yanqing was never accustomed to sleeping with anyone. Even when he shared a bed with Ji Zhen, it was usually because Ji Zhen took the initiative. It was neither here nor there for him. He just didn’t want to waste words on the matter or deal with Ji Zhen’s emotional outbursts.
This peace and quiet—wasn’t this what he had always wanted?
Today, his plans had been perfectly executed, and everything had gone smoothly. He should feel relieved. But Ji Zhen’s words, “I have failed you,” were inexplicably disturbing.
If he truly felt he had failed him, he could have stopped the marriage in time. Why wait until now?
He asked Ji Zhen, and he asked himself: to whom were the words, “What’s done is done. There’s no use talking about it now,” really directed to?
His palm touched a cold object. In the darkness, Shen Yanqing looked at the mutton-fat jade in the shape of a peony.
“Peony… I like peonies…”
The flower he threw to Ji Zhen on the day of his parade was also a peony.
How could he have the nerve to give him something someone else had used as a gift? He really has no manners.
Shen Yanqing frowned, but he still didn’t throw the mutton-fat jade away.
Outside, the rain had slowly stopped. Ji Zhen still hadn’t appeared in the eastern wing.
So be it. If today’s events could make Ji Zhen a little more restrained, it wouldn’t be a bad thing either.
A myriad of unclear emotions surged like a river flowing into the sea, never to return, and the surface was once again calm.
The author has something to say:
The way Lord Shen and Zhen Zhen get along is like:
Lord Shen: Her name is Ma Dongmei.
Zhen Zhen: What’s her name?
Lord Shen: Ma Dongmei.
Zhen Zhen: What Dong?
Lord Shen (gritting his teeth): Ma Dongmei…
Zhen Zhen (nodding rapidly): Oh, oh, oh, so it’s Xia Dongchun!
