When the reigning emperor’s teacher, Grand Tutor Zhang, returned to the capital, the emperor personally greeted him at the palace gates, showing his great respect.
At that time, the emperor was studying at the Imperial Academy and was given the cold shoulder due to his status. Only Grand Tutor Zhang did not differentiate between people based on their status, personally teaching and instructing the emperor on the way of governing the country and its people. After the emperor ascended the throne, the grand tutor loyally assisted him and later became the grand tutor for several princes.
Grand Tutor Zhang had worked diligently for many years. Although he had no real power, he held a significant position in the Great Heng Empire, and one word from him could outweigh the words of ten thousand people.
The nearly eighty-year-old Grand Tutor was frail, and his hair was as white as frost. This was a time when he should have been enjoying his retirement, but now, at the request of the deposed Crown Prince, he once again stood in the Imperial Study for a discussion after many years.
The Grand Tutor’s advice was heartfelt: “Benevolence should extend across the land, and smooth roads should bring benefits to all people.”
“Your Majesty, combining both grace and authority is the way of a ruler.”
“For sons and for ministers, flesh and bone are from the same root. Do not let the past repeat itself.”
The emperor sat lofty upon his throne, yet it was uncertain how much of his teacher’s earnest counsel truly reached his ears.
Two days later, news of the Grand Tutor’s passing on his way home reached the deposed Crown Prince at Chengqian Palace.
The deposed Crown Prince was heartbroken. He and his wife and son knelt in front of the hall for a day and a night to bid farewell to their teacher.
When Grand Tutor Zhang’s body was returned to his hometown, the judgment for the former Minister of Personnel, Ji Jue, was finally set. He was spared the death penalty and sentenced to exile three thousand li away. He would be escorted to Ningzhou within a few days and would not be allowed to return to the capital for the rest of his life.
A porcelain cup fell and shattered into a thousand pieces.
“Ningzhou?” Ji Zhen murmured the two words, slumping onto a stool. “That’s a place of bitter cold year-round…”
Ji An wiped away his tears. “My Young Master, the verdict is already out. The emperor’s will is hard to defy. It is already a great mercy from His Majesty that the Eldest Young Master was able to save his life.”
Ji Zhen thought of the moody emperor in the Southern Gardens. One moment, he would smile and tease him about his and his elder brother’s different temperaments, and the next, he would arrange a marriage for Jiang Yunyu to eliminate the Crown Prince’s faction. And now, he had disregarded the relationship between ruler and subject and exiled his elder brother three thousand li away.
Three thousand li, with sweltering heat and bitter cold. How many criminals would die on the way? How could his elder brother survive all alone?
Ji Zhen finally understood deeply what it meant to “accompany a ruler is like accompanying a tiger.” No matter how many bloody toils were endured, a single word from the emperor could erase everything.
Mercy? The emperor’s whim had destroyed his family. Was he supposed to be grateful?
Ji Zhen lowered his head, unable to control his resentment. “The people all praise His Majesty as a wise ruler, but I don’t think so. He is clearly utterly inept and doesn’t know right from wrong…”
“Shut up.”
Ji Zhen looked up and saw the solemn expression of the person who had just arrived. He belatedly realized what treasonous words he had just spoken and shuddered violently.
Shen Yanqing had heard his words as soon as he approached the room. He interrupted Ji Zhen and said to the servants guarding the door with a stern look, “The Young Madam spoke nonsense out of grief. If anyone dares to secretly discuss or spread this, they will be flogged to death without mercy.”
The Shen family was known for its simple and honest traditions, and they never mistreated their servants. This was the first time Shen Yanqing had used such a severe punishment to threaten them.
The servants all answered and retreated.
Ever since he was genuinely imprisoned for a few days, Ji An felt like a mouse seeing a cat whenever he saw Shen Yanqing. He wanted to make a quick getaway, but he also had to protect his young master. He swallowed hard to brace himself.
Ji Zhen was also afraid of Shen Yanqing, but right now, he wanted to hold him accountable even more. He stood up in a fit of anger. “You said you would save my elder brother. Is this what you call saving him?”
Shen Yanqing gave Ji An a look, telling him to leave.
Ji An puffed out his chest. “I’m staying with the Young Master.”
Seeing Shen Yanqing frown slightly, Ji Zhen was afraid he would lock Ji An up and starve him again. He waved his hand. “You go.”
Both master and servant were thinking of each other, making Shen Yanqing, as Ji Zhen’s partner, look like an outsider.
Whenever Shen Yanqing saw Ji An, words like “childhood sweethearts,” “perfect match,” and “finding a new partner” would surface in his mind, constantly reminding him that Ji Zhen and Jiang Yunyu had understood each other’s feelings and even had a private affair.
Ji Zhen quickly pushed Ji An out. Once the door was closed, he leaned his back against the doorframe. He tilted his face up, his eyes turning red from overwhelming grievance. He gritted his teeth and said, “What kind of saving is an exile of three thousand li? You lied to me again.”
Shen Yanqing was pricked by the resentment in Ji Zhen’s eyes. After a few moments, he nodded. “If you don’t think it’s a rescue, then so be it.”
He walked up to Ji Zhen. “Move.”
Ji Zhen held the door. “Where are you going?”
“Since you think exile is not as good as the death penalty, I will now petition His Majesty to grant Lord Ji a quick end.”
Ji Zhen panicked, blocking the way and refusing to move. After a long pause, he said in a low voice, “You’re going back on your word…” He lowered his arms helplessly. “Ningzhou is a barren land, and a three thousand li journey is so far. It would take months just to walk. How can my elder brother bear it?”
He raised his hand and grabbed the corner of the robe of the man in front of him, as if clutching a last piece of driftwood. “Shen Yanqing, you’re so capable. Since you could save my elder brother’s life, please find another way to keep him in the capital.”
Ji Zhen’s eyes were earnest and pleading, as if he were looking at some all-powerful deity.
But his most fervent prayers were in vain.
Shen Yanqing held Ji Zhen’s hand and kneaded it, saying softly, “Ji Jue will depart in three days. I’ll take you to see him.”
Ji Zhen knew the situation was set. An idea instantly formed in his mind, and he no longer begged Shen Yanqing, and wanted to pull his hand back. But the harder he tried to pull away, the tighter Shen Yanqing held him.
He smelled the scent of snowy plum, which Shen Yanqing had picked up from who knows where, wafting from his collar. As the scent grew closer, Shen Yanqing’s breath fanned against his cheek.
Ji Zhen couldn’t help but recall the absurdity of the past few days. His body went soft, but he was even more terrified. He was afraid of displeasing Shen Yanqing, who might then go back on his word and not take him to see his elder brother. Therefore, he did not dare to openly avoid him and only stiffened his body, allowing Shen Yanqing to knead him.
He viewed this as Shen Yanqing’s revenge—to be intimate with a person who had repeatedly tried to kill him was like having a sword hanging over his head, no matter how much affection he once had. His feelings were a mix of fear and pain, with pleasure being secondary.
Shen Yanqing naturally saw the difference in Ji Zhen’s behavior. The person who used to long for his touch was now trembling like an autumn leaf, as if contact with him was an unbearable ordeal. He gazed at Ji Zhen’s pale neck, and through his half-open collar, he saw the faint red marks. No matter how many times he covered them, it seemed he could not erase the imprints left by others.
Shen Yanqing’s kneading was so heavy it felt like he was trying to rub off Ji Zhen’s skin.
Ji Zhen groaned in pain and grabbed at the hand tormenting him. He used the very words Shen Yanqing had once used to scold him to try and stop him: “A gentleman has few desires…”
His timid advice only became a blade for Shen Yanqing to use against him. “When you were so uninhibited in your demands, why didn’t you remember the words of the sages?”
Ji Zhen’s face paled slightly. He replied softly, “The past is the past. It won’t happen again in the future.”
Little did he know that these words touched a raw nerve in Shen Yanqing. Shen Yanqing suddenly lifted his jaw and stared at him with a heavy gaze.
Shen Yanqing’s eyes were beautiful, with long lashes and dark pupils. The outer corners were narrow and long, and his eyes were as clear and cool as jade, with a touch of chilling crispness. But when it became severe, they were filled with a deep pressure, like a towering glacier or a mountain of snow, able to make even the scorching sun melt.
Ji Zhen’s bones and muscles went soft from the look. He couldn’t help but say tremblingly, “If you still want to kill me, can you not use a bow and arrow? I don’t like poisoned wine either. I’m afraid of pain…”
As he spoke, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Shen Yanqing’s shoulder. As if begging for mercy, he slowly put his arms around Shen Yanqing’s waist. “At least, wait until I’ve seen my elder brother before you handle me.”
Shen Yanqing’s chest heaved. He pulled the person out of his embrace.
There was a light in Ji Zhen’s eyes. His lips were tightly pressed together, like a porcupine that had its quills removed. All of his harmless, soft armor from before was gone, leaving only powerlessness and panic in the face of the unknown.
His weakness was held in someone’s hand, and even resistance was a joke.
When Shen Yanqing leaned down to kiss him, Ji Zhen could only futilely clench his lips. A soft tongue easily pried open his teeth, and he was held against the door and kissed.
Shen Yanqing exerted force, lifting his waist slightly. With his legs off the ground, Ji Zhen could only wrap his arms around the other party’s neck and half-entangle himself around Shen Yanqing’s body, pressing close against him. Ji Zhen tilted his head back slightly. The kiss was too deep, and he found it difficult to breathe. His lips and tongue were repeatedly sucked and gnawed at, leaving the tip of his tongue swollen and numb.
He had been kissed too many times in the past few days, but no matter how passionate each one was, he would always remember Shen Yanqing’s past cold, avoiding movements. He felt a bit lost. Even if Shen Yanqing wanted to keep him by his side to torment him for a lifetime, he didn’t have to go to such lengths either.
He had already decided not to like Shen Yanqing, and no amount of kissing would change that.
A heavy snow fell in the deep winter.
Ji Zhen was wearing a white and pink brocade robe and a thick fox fur cloak. In his hand, he held a hot water bottle, and he stood in the courtyard, which was covered in a thin layer of snow, eagerly waiting for Shen Yanqing to pick him up to leave the mansion.
Today was the day of Ji Jue’s exile.
Last night, while Shen Yanqing was not yet home, Ji Zhen tried to give a box of pearls and jade from his dressing table to Ji An.
“These are all yours from now on. I’ll only keep a few banknotes and some silver. Ji An, we’ve known each other for many years. I don’t want you to suffer with me. Take these and run. Run as far as you can and don’t get caught by Shen Yanqing again. I’m going to Ningzhou with my elder brother. If you get locked up and starved, I won’t be able to save you.”
Ever since he had confirmed that his elder brother’s sentence would not be changed, Ji Zhen had made up his mind to follow him on his long journey today.
What did it matter if the journey was difficult or if Ningzhou was poor and barren? As long as his elder brother was there, he wasn’t afraid of anything.
As for Shen Yanqing… he knew it would be difficult to completely give up his feelings, but hard work pays off. As time passed, he would surely let go.
If Shen Yanqing stopped him, he would just rather die by a guard’s blade. It would be better than staying in the Shen Mansion, where he could be pierced by an arrow or have his guts rotted by poisoned wine at any time.
Ji An would not leave, nor would he accept the pearls and jade, insisting on going with him.
Ji Zhen thought it was also a good idea. With the three of them together, if any accompanying soldiers dared to bully them, the extra person would mean an extra pair of hands in a fight.
The youths of the capital all laughed at Ji Zhen, labeling him an idiot, yet he merely considered himself a bit slow.
He knew he had to please Shen Yanqing to see his elder brother, and he also knew that he should hide banknotes not just in the secret compartment of his cloak but also in the soles of his shoes so he wouldn’t be completely robbed.
Thinking about seeing his elder brother again, Ji Zhen was incredibly happy and showed the most genuine smile he had in a long time.
When Shen Yanqing arrived in the courtyard, he saw Ji Zhen standing in the heavy snow, smiling sweetly. It had been a long time since he had seen such a smiling face. Ji Zhen had been crying a lot lately, shedding too many tears. While he looked pitiful and adorable when he cried, in that fleeting moment, Shen Yanqing had a thought that Ji Zhen should always be so carefree and smiling.
He was a little reluctant to break the peaceful scene, but before he had admired it enough, Ji Zhen had already seen him.
So, Shen Yanqing watched as the raised eyebrows of Ji Zhen slowly lowered, and he returned to his well-behaved, obedient demeanor.
It was always a pleasure to watch, but it also inexplicably tugged at his heart.
Ji Zhen trotted towards Shen Yanqing, just as he had joyfully welcomed Shen Yanqing home many times before. “Can we go now?”
Shen Yanqing reined in his thoughts and nodded.
Ji Zhen waved to Ji An and said crisply, “Let’s go.”
The master and servant walked past the courtyard gate, one step ahead of Shen Yanqing.
This was the first time Ji Zhen had chosen not to follow Shen Yanqing.
After four years of empty promises, the man who haunted his dreams, so utterly heartless, he would no longer compel himself.
The author has something to say:
A no-prize guess: can Zhen Zhen run away? Of course…
Lord Shen, you turned true love into a one-sided, wall-pasted love. You’re something else!
