HAGLTP Chapter 47

“Excuse me.”

Xiao Lu twisted his neck to realign his dislocated cervical vertebrae, then lied without changing his expression or skipping a heartbeat, “I’m not dead yet, I just fainted a moment ago.”

“Ah? Oh, is that so…” The fair-skinned boy visibly relaxed.

The tall, thin one adjusted his glasses and said, “But I observed you when I came in, and your blood loss seems to have reached the limit of a normal person.”

The fair-skinned boy’s relief was short-lived.

Xiao Lu began to move his arms, continuing to spin his tale, “You must have seen it wrong. I was fighting zombies before I fell; that blood isn’t mine. Have you ever seen a talking zombie?”

The tall one frowned, “Well, I haven’t…”

The recovery process was going smoothly, and Xiao Lu’s body showed no signs of injury.

He looked at the two of them, “What are your names?”

The fair-skinned boy poked the waist of the person next to him, “Looks like he’s a person, huh.”

The tall one scrutinized Xiao Lu several times, “Hmm… but it’s strange.”

Now that they realized he wasn’t a zombie, the fair-skinned boy’s courage grew, and he teased, “With your 800-degree eyesight, it’s normal to see things wrong. Didn’t you once mistake an old man carrying a mop for your goddess?”

The tall one replied, “…Can you not bring that up?”

The fair-skinned boy waved at Xiao Lu, “Hello, I’m Ai Zhenzhen. My name sounds like a girl’s, that’s my parents’ fault.”

The tall one no longer dwelled on whether Xiao Lu was dead or not and nodded lightly at him, “Hao Si, also a sophomore like him.”

Xiao Lu introduced himself, “I’m Chi Lu, a senior.”

Ai Zhenzhen covered his mouth in surprise, “Chi Lu!! The super cool and invincible Chi Lu from that academy?”

Xiao Lu’s eye twitched, “Where did this strange title come from?”

Ai Zhenzhen explained, “Well… that’s what your fans say. Although the girls say it’s cheesy, it still has a certain appeal.”

Hao Si added, “They say you can take on ten by yourself, fly a plane with your bare hands, single-handedly stop a train, and once fought pirates on the high seas, even being revered by over sixty countries…”

“Stop—” Xiao Lu couldn’t help but cover his face, his ears turning red, “Don’t say anymore.”

What a ridiculous rumor that was, both cheesy and cringeworthy.

After a brief conversation, Xiao Lu learned that these two had come from other dorms searching for food, but their luck was terrible; almost all the edible items had been taken by others, leaving only some that might send them to heaven if consumed.

Ai Zhenzhen sighed, holding a baguette that had been dry for a week in his left hand and a hard, sturdy loaf in his right, making a clear “bang bang” sound as he struck them together.

Hao Si tapped a mooncake he found on the ground against the bed’s edge, listening to the sound of metal clashing.

“Alas…” Both of them sighed in unison.

Faced with the two dejected individuals, Xiao Lu had no way to help. When he fell from the building, he wasn’t carrying a backpack, and he didn’t know where his weapon had gone; all he had left was a rather useless ability.

“Have you thought about going outside?” Xiao Lu asked.

Ai Zhenzhen replied, “Of course we have, but look below, so many zombies! We’re both weaklings without weapons; going out would just be delivering ourselves to them.”

Hao Si added, “Based on my calculations, our chance of surviving outside is less than 10%.”

“To be precise, it’s 0.1025%,” Ivan whispered.

Great, two complete weaklings.

Xiao Lu was determined to go out; these two didn’t seem to have that familiar cunning of Mr. A, and he had no idea where Mr. A was or when they might meet.

“Let’s go find something useful; I’ll take you out.”

After a flurry of activity.

In the end, what lay before Xiao Lu were:

A pair of school pants that had become hard from not being washed for too long.

A single slipper emitting a strange odor.

A half broomstick.

A pot lid that survived after someone’s illegal appliance was confiscated; it was metal but only about the size of a palm.

Looking around, the broomstick seemed the most reliable. Xiao Lu tried to grab it, but heard a crisp crack; the plastic of the broomstick had aged, and it shattered with a squeeze, less sturdy than a flaky pastry.

Xiao Lu: “…”

Is this the power of the cannon fodder aura?

His gaze swept over the unreliable junk scattered on the ground and landed on something labeled as emergency rations.

Perhaps he was staring too intently, Ai Zhenzhen couldn’t help but ask, “What’s wrong, Brother Lu?”

Xiao Lu said, “Maybe we can use them to get out.”

Ai Zhenzhen’s eyes widened, “Die… die out?”

Xiao Lu: “…”

Hao Si: “…”

“Of course not.” Xiao Lu picked up the nearly one-meter-long baguette and weighed it in his hand. This baguette had been sitting for too long, giving it a solid feel similar to a baseball bat.

“Although as food, they’ve reached a level that humans can’t overcome, this also puts them into a new realm.”

He pointed at the baguette in his hand, “The Holy Sword of Physics.”

Then he pointed at the dark brown loaf, “Traditional Shield of the Warrior Nation.”

Finally, he pointed at the rock-solid mooncake issued by the school, “Seasonal Limited Brick. This way, we have weapons, armor, and mid-range throwing weapons.”

Moments later, Ai Zhenzhen and Hao Si held the large loaf in front of them as a shield.

Xiao Lu stood at the front with the baguette in hand, his pockets stuffed with all the mooncakes they could scavenge, which were quite a few and heavy.

It seemed many students had fallen victim to this food rich in cultural sentiment and care from their teachers.

Ai Zhenzhen still felt a bit timid, “Brother Lu, are you sure this is okay?”

“Didn’t I say I could take on ten by myself? Just keep up.”

The three formed a line like an eagle catching a chick and headed toward the school exit.

At this point, the school was nearly deserted. Under the moonlight, the corridors were empty, and the dormitories along the way were in disarray, with visible bloodstains and signs of struggle.

The journey to the dormitory building went smoothly.

However, to get from the dormitory to the school gate, they had to pass through the largest playground, which was completely open with no cover.

Almost as soon as they stepped onto the playground, Xiao Lu heard rustling sounds around them, accompanied by the low growls of zombies that were anything but human.

Ai Zhenzhen and Hao Si couldn’t help but shiver in unison, then covered each other’s mouths with their hands, signaling with their eyes that the other must not make a sound.

They were both cowardly and in sync.

“Let’s go.” Xiao Lu whispered.

He led the two, trying to tread lightly toward the gate.

Soon, zombies began to chase after them from behind. They swayed their bodies, reaching out their arms toward the living beings ahead, greedily wanting to devour the three.

“Ugh…” Ai Zhenzhen couldn’t help but panic. He held the large loaf above his head, closed his eyes, and ran forward.

As they reached halfway across the playground, a window on the second floor opened. A female zombie in a white dress with flowing hair stood at the top, letting out a roar at the three.

This commotion caught their attention.

Ai Zhenzhen turned back and saw the figure on the second floor.

He stammered to Hao Si beside him, “Look, isn’t that your goddess?”

“Senior Lin…” Hao Si’s eyes widened, his heart aching.

He still remembered that one day after class, he stood on the playground facing the sunset, just in time to see the senior in a white dress sitting by the window, smiling sweetly at him.

In that instant, everything around seemed to disappear, leaving only the pure white of the girl deeply etched in his memory.

That was the most vivid image in his memory, now turned into a youth he could never return to.

Hao Si couldn’t help but tear up.

But just as the boy’s sadness began to rise, the zombie version of Senior Lin let out another roar.

This time the sound was sharper, and with her howl, all the nearby zombies stirred, rushing toward the playground as if commanded by a leader.

Ai Zhenzhen’s voice trembled, “Um… do you think your goddess really wants… to keep you here?”

Hao Si looked up at the building with red-rimmed eyes, “Is she still thinking about me…”

Xiao Lu interjected, “What does she want you for, to warm her stomach? How many meals do you think you two would be for her?”

“…” Hao Si’s face turned pale; the youthful sentimentality he once had was long gone.

He had imagined a hundred futures for this first love, but he never expected that the innocent affection of youth would end in such a brutal way.

Look at how passionately she gazed at him, as if she wanted to eat him.

Ah no, she really wants to eat him!

Seeing the zombies gathering more and more, Xiao Lu shouted at the two fools, “Run! Stop looking at your goddess! If you keep this up, she really will want to warm her stomach. You don’t really have that kind of hobby, do you?!”

The three turned and ran.

As they ran, Hao Si broke down in tears, “Waaah, I’m heartbroken—”

Ai Zhenzhen comforted him, “Bro, there’s a first time for everything; you’ll get used to it.”

“Who the hell wants to get used to their goddess turning into a zombie?!” Hao Si roared while crying.

More and more zombies appeared, surging toward the three from all directions.

Xiao Lu was alone, armed only with a baguette of uncertain strength, and accompanied by two seasoned deadweights. The baguette was light and lacked sharp edges, making it not very powerful, and he had to be careful not to get scratched or bitten by the zombies, making their advance quite difficult.

Soon, they encountered several zombies blocking their path.

The first one wore a plaid shirt, was pot-bellied, had a receding hairline, and deep lines on his face; if he were still alive, he would surely be a difficult person to deal with.

Of course, being dead only made him harder to deal with.

Ai Zhenzhen exclaimed in horror, “Hey, it’s Old Class!”

The homeroom teacher opened his mouth wide, revealing fangs stained with blood and bits of flesh, and bit down hard.

Ai Zhenzhen instinctively raised his traditional warrior shield to block, feeling a heavy impact in his hand, nearly losing his grip.

But thinking of the terrifying face of the homeroom teacher, he felt he could hold on a bit longer.

The resilient loaf did not break; instead, it heroically left three of the teacher’s teeth behind.

“Wow—”

After narrowly escaping, Ai Zhenzhen let out a scream, trying to escape to the side.

But another figure blocked his path even faster.

Ai Zhenzhen instinctively looked up and screamed even louder, “Old Wu—”

His math teacher.

The math teacher screeched at him, reminiscent of his loud roars during class. The spittle that once rained down like a heavenly flower had transformed into a thick green liquid, corroding the ground and creating several smoking holes in the playground.

Even the loaf was smoking.

The homeroom teacher and the math teacher, now zombies, flanked the three bad students trying to escape the school.

Which is scarier at night: encountering a living teacher or a dead one?

The homeroom teacher shouted angrily, taking the lead with the responsibility of an educator.

Xiao Lu swung the hard baguette, knocking the homeroom teacher, who was about to give the students a lesson in love, to the ground.

The baguette lived up to its name, remaining intact even after such a long battle.

Next, the math teacher lunged at Ai Zhenzhen and Hao Si, teeth bared, green saliva dripping from the corners of his mouth, seemingly wanting to give them a special version of after-school tutoring.

“Waaah—” the two screamed.

Xiao Lu reached into his pocket and pulled out a mooncake, throwing it from a distance, hitting the math teacher squarely on the back of the head.

Thud.

The math teacher fell, a large dent forming in the back of his head, bravely sacrificing himself in the process of preventing students from leaving school late at night.