ITC Chapter 42

As Bai Xizhou had promised, he gave Wen Ruqing ample time to think about their relationship. During that period, he really didn’t contact him at all.

This should have been what Wen Ruqing wanted, but he wasn’t happy. He had no answer for the question Teng Yuan asked him.

He had always been someone who ran from things. He ran back to Yunduan Town before, and after realizing Bai Xizhou’s feelings, he fled to Jingcheng. Whenever something overwhelmed him, his first instinct was always to escape.

But this time, it seemed like there was no running away.

After the exchange program ended, Wen Ruqing returned to Xincheng on a weekend. The institute gave him a three-day break to rest before returning to work.

It had been a month since he was last home, and everything was covered in a layer of dust. Wen Ruqing needed to tidy up first. Before he ran away, Bai Xizhou had stayed here for a while, and the house still carried many traces of him.

A pair of leather shoes sat in the shoe cabinet—definitely not Wen Ruqing’s style. A pair of slippers, one size larger than his, was placed next to his own. The potted plant Bai Xizhou had moved in had withered from neglect. In the bathroom, Bai Xizhou’s toothbrush and cup were still there, along with a towel prepared especially for him.

All of these things reminded Wen Ruqing how close they once were. And reminded him, too, that they had long crossed the line of mere friendship.

He sorted through everything. At the bottom of his suitcase was a blue jacket. He took it out, washed it clean, and hung it outside to dry in the sun.

Only after doing all this could he finally collapse onto the sofa for a break. He pulled out his phone and aimlessly scrolled through his Moments feed, until suddenly, he saw a familiar name.

Before coming back, Wen Ruqing had removed all of Bai Xizhou’s contacts from the blacklist.

Bai Xizhou had posted a Moment. Just one photo—of blue sky and tree shadows. He saw that Teng Yuan had commented with a question mark underneath, but Bai Xizhou hadn’t replied.

Scrolling down, it was another photo of Bai Xizhou. This one looked like someone else had taken it for him. He wore a black leather jacket, his long legs wrapped in black pants. His knees were slightly bent as he sat on a high stool.

The lighting in the bar cast a glow on his face, making it hard to read his expression. He held a glass of alcohol in one hand, looking up at the bartender in front of him. The bartender was a foreign man, and the two of them were standing quite close—almost touching.

Wen Ruqing zoomed in on the photo and saw the faint smile at the corner of Bai Xizhou’s lips.

Was he smiling at that bartender?

Why was he smiling at him?

Did he like that bartender?

The moment that thought surfaced, Wen Ruqing was startled.

This wasn’t right. Why did just a photo make his chest feel tight and make him a little angry? The emotion felt unfamiliar to him. He sat up and stared at the wilted flower on the table, deep in thought.

It seemed like he was… jealous. His heart ached with sourness—and all because of one photo.

“I’m done for… I…” Wen Ruqing suddenly realized—this wasn’t how a friend should react.

A flush spread from his neck to his cheeks. He rubbed his face, trying to get rid of the heat, but it didn’t help.

He actually wished the person standing across from Bai Xizhou in the photo… was him.

Just as Wen Ruqing was still wavering over his own feelings, the phone rang. It was a call from Wen Qing.

“Gugu.” Wen Ruqing’s voice held a rare hint of softness—a tone that only came out when he was speaking to elders.

(“Gugu” (姑姑) is a Chinese term meaning paternal aunt — your father’s sister.)

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Wen Ruqing wasn’t usually one to act sweet. His unusual behavior today made Wen Qing worry. Her voice suddenly turned anxious. “If something’s wrong, talk to Gugu.”

“Gugu, what does it feel like… to like someone?” Wen Ruqing lay back down on the sofa, sinking into the cushion.

“You’ve fallen for someone?” Wen Qing instantly understood what he meant.

“I think so. But I’m a little scared. I don’t dare to imagine a future with him.”

The biggest issue between him and Bai Xizhou—aside from his fear that Bai Xizhou wouldn’t be able to accept his true self—was that Wen Ruqing had always held a pessimistic view about their future. He didn’t believe in lasting love.

“Ruqing, when love comes, you can’t block it. Just enjoy it. If you’re always thinking about the distant future, you’ll never be able to experience the beauty of being in love.” Wen Qing’s voice was gentle. “The future is something you both work on together. Thinking about it alone won’t change anything.”

“But my personality isn’t great, and my career is just average. He’s better than me in every way.” Wen Ruqing started counting his flaws on his fingers, but when it came to listing Bai Xizhou’s flaws, he suddenly realized—he couldn’t think of any.

To him, Bai Xizhou was capable and principled, shining brightly in his field of passion. Stripped of his status as a rich second-generation heir, he seemed to live even better.

In daily life, he was always attentive. At times, he could be assertive, but it never felt overbearing. Even his confession had been measured, knowing when to advance and when to retreat.

He also knew how to reveal his vulnerability at just the right moments, making one’s heart soften. Most of the time, Wen Ruqing simply couldn’t say no to him.

He didn’t know when it started, but Bai Xizhou had gradually filled every corner of his life. With a steady yet firm approach, he had barged into Wen Ruqing’s world. By the time Wen Ruqing noticed, he was already trapped in the gentle web Bai Xizhou had woven—unable to escape.

“He likes you because there’s something about you that draws him in. Don’t put yourself down. You’re excellent too.” Wen Ruqing heard Wen Qing sigh on the other end of the line. “I know that because of your parents, love feels heavy to you. And your first relationship didn’t go well, so you’ve lost even more confidence. But Ruqing, there will always be someone in this world who’s meant for you. A healthy love will make you a better person.”

The death of Wen Ruqing’s parents had always been a knot in his heart. Ever since then, it was as if he’d lost the ability to love and be loved. He gave up all his hobbies, trying instead to become the person his parents had hoped he would be.

Wen Qing, as his aunt, knew everything about what happened between him and Song Yang. She had always felt that what existed between Song Yang and Wen Ruqing wasn’t truly love—it felt more like gratitude. But if Wen Ruqing was willing to accept him, then maybe that in itself was a kind of change.

Later, when she heard they broke up, she was both happy and a little worried. But Wen Ruqing himself didn’t seem to have much of a reaction.

Years passed, and still, there was no word of a new relationship. Only then did Wen Qing realize—his first relationship had hurt him more than he’d realized. Even he didn’t notice the damage it had done.

If he didn’t know how to love to begin with and had been hurt on top of that, how could he easily hand over his heart again? She understood Wen Ruqing’s hesitation.

Wen Ruqing quietly listened to Wen Qing’s words, his mind replaying the little moments he had shared with Bai Xizhou.

Ever since the moment he met Bai Xizhou, it felt like his life had changed. The path ahead of him suddenly opened up.

He had regained confidence in ancient book restoration. He’d been accepted into the research institute he had long dreamed of. Even his chronic stomach issues had improved a lot—after regulating his meals, the pain barely returned. Even his most troublesome anxiety disorder had rarely acted up since finding out Bai Xizhou liked him. At the very least, he had never again stopped taking his medication on a whim.

It really did seem like he was slowly getting better. Bai Xizhou was gently leading him out of the darkness. In a hazy, chaotic world, Bai Xizhou was the light he had found.

“I understand now, Gugu.” The gloom in his heart was suddenly lifted, replaced by a surprising sense of relief. “Thank you, Gugu.”

“I’m just happy you were willing to share all this with me. But… can you tell me who that person is?”

“Uh…” Wen Ruqing was momentarily at a loss, unsure whether to say it. “Gugu, you know him.”

“Among your friends, the only ones I know are Song Yang and Bai Xizhou… It can’t be…” Wen Qing paused, as if she realized something. A laugh came through the phone. “That’s actually quite nice. You and Bai Xizhou do seem very well-suited.”

Caught off guard by Wen Qing’s teasing, Wen Ruqing’s face flushed again. He stammered for a while, then quickly hung up the phone.

He rushed to his room, pulled out a box from the closet, opened it. Inside was the wristwatch Bai Xizhou had given him. After more than a year, he was finally putting it on again.

Wen Ruqing changed clothes and left the house, caught a cab, and gave the driver Bai Xizhou’s apartment address. On the way there, for the first time, he took the initiative to call Bai Xizhou.

But the call wasn’t answered, even after it rang to the end. Wen Ruqing started to feel anxious. When the cab reached the destination, he jumped out and headed straight to Bai Xizhou’s place.

When he arrived, he realized Bai Xizhou had changed the password lock.

He couldn’t say what he was thinking in that moment—but instinctively, he typed in his own birthday. The lock beeped, and the door unlocked.

Wen Ruqing let out a soft laugh and pushed the door open. Somehow, he had the feeling that Bai Xizhou had expected he’d come.

The house was clean and tidy—unlike his own place, which had gathered dust—but it was empty. The rabbit wasn’t there either. He called again, several times, but none were answered. The little spark of joy that had lit up inside him slowly dimmed with each unanswered ring.

He suddenly felt a bit lost. Maybe he should wait for Bai Xizhou to come back. After all, he had said he wanted an answer from Wen Ruqing when he returned to Xincheng. But what if… after a whole month of distance and calm, he’d realized he didn’t actually like him that much?

Then what would Wen Ruqing do?

Clutching his phone, Wen Ruqing paced back and forth in the room. He was actually really tired, but he was afraid of missing a callback from Bai Xizhou.

From day until nightfall, the call he was hoping for never came. He hadn’t eaten much all day, his head was starting to feel dizzy, and his stomach began to ache without warning. Wen Ruqing lay down on the sofa, no longer having the strength to make food. He considered ordering takeout but gave up—he didn’t feel like choosing anything.

He remembered there was stomach medicine in Bai Xizhou’s house—but couldn’t recall where it was kept. At that moment, he desperately wished Bai Xizhou were here. At least then, he would help him find the medicine and hand him a warm glass of water.

“So annoying… Why are you always gone when I actually need you?”

Just as he finished grumbling, his phone suddenly rang after a full day of silence. On the screen, the name “Bai Xizhou” lit up like a lifeline. Wen Ruqing answered the call, his hands trembling.

“What’s wrong?” Bai Xizhou’s voice came through. “You called me so many times… Were you missing me?”

“Mm. I missed you.”

His answer was so straightforward, it stunned Bai Xizhou into silence.

“You’re back in Xincheng?”

“Just got here. I’m at your place.”

There was a short pause on the other end. Bai Xizhou didn’t ask how he got in.

“Qingqing… if you do this, I might get the wrong idea. And honestly, more than hearing you say you missed me—what I really want is to hear something else,” Bai Xizhou sighed.

“I love you,” Wen Ruqing said, his voice tinged with restrained pain. One hand pressed against his stomach as he tried to sound normal. “That’s what you wanted to hear, right?”

His stomach, unnoticed until now, started to rebel. The pain surged sharply right after he finished speaking. Wen Ruqing couldn’t hold back a pained hiss as he curled up into himself.

“Cough… is your stomach hurting again? Did you eat?” Bai Xizhou’s voice snapped out of the sweet mood. He coughed awkwardly, concern rising in his tone.

Just from one sound, he could tell something was wrong with Wen Ruqing.

“No.”

In reality, cold sweat had already started to form on his forehead—he didn’t look fine at all.

“There’s stomach medicine in the second cabinet under the coffee table. I’ll have the housekeeper bring you something to eat first, then take the medicine. After that, go sleep in my bedroom, okay? Did you hear me?”

Even through the phone, Wen Ruqing could hear the anxiety in Bai Xizhou’s voice. Inappropriately, the corners of his lips curled up—he felt secretly happy.

“If I take a nap… will I see you when I wake up?”

There was a brief silence on the other end.

“I’m afraid not. I’m in Germany right now—there’s something I need to handle. I probably won’t be back for a few days.”

“Mm. Then what I just said to you… did you hear it?” Wen Ruqing gently steered the conversation back.

“What?” Bai Xizhou was still pretending not to get it.

“I said I love you. Did you hear me clearly? I love you. Come back soon. I want to see you.”
After he said it, Wen Ruqing hung up, buried his face in the blanket, and his exposed ears were bright red.

Far away in Germany, Bai Xizhou was sitting on a chair outside the principal’s office. Never in his life had he wanted more to kill the person next to him and rush back home to see Wen Ruqing.

Meanwhile, Bai Xiting, sitting beside him, had no idea what was going on. He looked over at Bai Xizhou with wide, innocent eyes, blinking in confusion.

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Frozen Starlight
Bai Xizhou: Did you hear that? My wife said he loves me. He said he loves me! But I’m still stuck in this damn place and can’t go back yet—all because of that unlucky little brother.

Bai Xiting: Innocent.jpg

(Just confessed, and now it’s a long-distance relationship for a couple of days.)