Nalin is missing?
Did he go to look for the flamestone and something happened?
Or did he come to look for me because I broke my promise?
I was burning with anxiety and hurriedly boarded the carriage to the royal city. Upon arriving, I noticed that soldiers were patrolling the streets and alleys, clearly searching for Nalin. Afraid of attracting their attention, I dared not go to the royal city’s back mountain during the day and planned to stay at the painting shop until it got dark.
I knocked on the door of the painting shop, and when the old painter saw me, he smiled. “It’s been a while since I last saw you. Did you find the flamestone? At the end of this month, I’m going to set off.”
I shook my head. “Not yet. Can I stay here for half a day and watch you paint?”
“Mi Jia!”
Suddenly, a familiar voice came from inside.
I was startled and looked inside. The young man who was painting a folding fan was none other than the Tenth Prince!
“Ah Luo!” I hurried inside, pulling him into the painting shop. I whispered, “Have you seen your Ninth Brother these past few days? He’s gone missing. Do you know where he is?”
The Tenth Prince glanced outside and lowered his voice. “I was planning to go out and search for him. I thought his disappearance might be related to you, so I’ve been waiting here for you. You don’t know where he is either?”
Nalin’s disappearance was indeed related to me.
I didn’t dare tell him about the agreement I had with Nalin, so I simply shook my head. “I don’t-don’t know.”
His hand gently lifted my bangs, and his lips brushed against mine. I pulled back my neck and looked up, only to see him gazing at me with a face full of pity. “Mi Jia, what’s wrong? Has someone been bullying you? Your lip’s even swollen.”
After encountering such upheaval, with not enough food to eat and no proper sleep, my complexion had likely worsened to the extreme, and I had developed several painful blisters at the corners of my mouth. But this was a matter concerning my household, and he, a neglected prince, could be of no help. I silently shook my head, but my stomach betrayed me with a loud growl.
My wrist was immediately tightened as it was grasped. He said, “Come with me!”
“Where to?”
He dragged me without saying a word to the noodle shop next to the painting shop and had me sit down. A steaming bowl of noodle soup was placed in front of me, and I immediately became transfixed, forgetting everything else. I buried my head in the bowl, devouring the noodles quickly and drinking all the soup, but I ate so hurriedly that I ended up choking and coughing uncontrollably.
“Take it slow, don’t rush, we can order more!” His sleeve, edged with golden thread, brushed against my lips as he gently wiped my mouth. I felt embarrassed and quickly turned my face away, instinctively avoiding his touch.
“Thank you, I was just so hungry. I must have embarrassed myself.”
His hand hovered in the air, his light brown eyes slightly dimmed. Frowning, he stared at me and asked, “How many days has it been since you last ate? Why are you so hungry? Don’t they give you food at home?”
My nose tingled, and I lowered my eyelids, forcing myself to hold back tears.
“I… I just went out to look for Nalin since early morning, and when I found that he was missing, I didn’t think about eating.”
He poured a cup of milk tea and handed it to me, speaking gently, “Ninth Brother must have found being the Saint Lord too hard to bear, that’s why he ran away. If I were him, I wouldn’t want to be the Saint Lord either. If he managed to escape, it would be a good thing for him. As his friend and I, as his little brother, we should be happy for him, don’t you think?”
I felt anxious and restless, not wanting to say much to him. I responded vaguely, “En, happy.”
“If he doesn’t come back, I’ll spend more time with you, alright?”
“He will come back!” I felt a pang in my heart and blurted it out. As soon as I said it, I met the Tenth Prince’s gaze and froze. The way he looked at me was strangely similar to how Nalin would.
Although I was slow to realize things, having been in love with Nalin, I had learned to understand certain emotions. The way he looked at me didn’t seem like the gaze of a friend. My heart skipped a beat, I panicked and quickly standing up. But before I could move, he grabbed my hand firmly. The bowl on the table was knocked over, shattering with a loud crash with the pieces scattering across the floor.
“Mi Jia, you and Ninth Brother are more than just friends, aren’t you?”
My heart raced even more in panic. “We’re just friends. What else could we be if not friends between us two men?”
He gripped my hand tightly. “That night at the tavern, I saw it. He pinned you down on the bed and kissed you… You and he are—”
I quickly covered his mouth and dragged him to the corner of the staircase. “Don’t say any more!”
“Mi Jia!” He pried my hand away, his voice urgent. “I like you. The first time we met at the art shop, I fell for you at first sight. When you were painting, your eyes were so bright, and you seemed to glow. I’ve never seen anyone as dazzling as you, like a star that lights up my world… If Ninth Brother doesn’t return, will you be with me? Please?”
“Who says he’s not coming back!” I was anxious and flustered, yanking my hand away so abruptly that I accidentally slapped his face, stumbling back a few steps. He covered his cheek, his eyes reddening.
“I’m-I’m sorry!” A wave of guilt washed over me as I turned and fled out of the noodle shop. I heard him calling my name, but I couldn’t stop myself and quickened my pace, leaving him far behind.
I waited in the woods until it was dark, then made my way up the mountain, taking the usual path that led to the tree near Nalin’s residence. Since he was missing, he surely wasn’t there, but I had no idea where else to search for him. I could only hope that entering might give me some clues.
But as soon as I climbed the tree, I noticed something hanging on a branch that extended into the wall. When I took it down, I saw it was a small paper roll tied with red feathers. My spirits lifted, knowing it had to be a message from Nalin. I quickly unrolled it, revealing a simple sketch. The drawing depicted a tree, a house, and a moon to the west, with a bird flying toward it.
This is a place.
I understood the message immediately and headed toward the moonlit direction, deeper into the mountain. After crossing the peak and entering the valley, I didn’t walk far before hearing the sound of birds flapping their wings, clear and distinct.
I looked up, and a flash of white appeared on the treetop above me. Wasn’t that Bai Ha’er?
I followed Bai Ha’er through the valley for a while, crossing a small stream. After walking for some time, Bai Ha’er suddenly let out a call. Immediately, I heard a familiar flute sound in response, as if a lone bird was calling for its companion, filled with sorrow and longing.
That was clearly Nalin calling out to me!
My heart raced, and I jumped up, leaping three feet into the air, then I ran wildly toward the direction of the flute’s sound.
I reached a mountain wall, and a narrow natural cave appeared before me. As I pushed aside the vines hanging at the entrance, my wrist was suddenly gripped tightly, and in the next moment, I was thrown into a warm embrace.
“Where have you been these past few days? Why did you break our promise?”
The hoarse yet cold voice of the young man echoed in my ear, and my heart jolted. Instinctively, I tightened my hold on him. By the time I regained my composure, tears had already flooded my cheeks, soaking his neck and hair.
“Why are you crying? Did someone hit you?” His long fingers gently caressed my cheek, forcing me to lift my face. When I clearly saw his face, my heart skipped a beat. After a few days of not seeing him, this noble young saint lord’s eyes were now tinged with dark circles, as if he had been seriously ill, looking incredibly weak.
I bit my lip tightly, shaking my head, but the tears couldn’t stop flooding down. It felt as though all the pain, grievances, and anger that had been trapped in my heart for days, with no place to release, surged toward him in that moment, breaking through the sturdy walls I had built since childhood, rushing like a torrent of floodwaters. But I couldn’t let it happen. This was something I should bear alone. He was the one closest to my heart, someone I should hold up high, keeping him safe within my barriers to share in joy and laughter, not to drown in the same mire of suffering.
“I just… missed you.” I wiped away my tears and smiled at him. “These past few days, there have been some things at home that held me up. I’m sorry.”
“Mi Jia, the flamestone… I found it.”
He slightly loosened his hold on me and reached into his collar. I froze, my eyes widening as I looked at his outstretched palm. In it was an egg-sized, seemingly ordinary white stone. But under the moonlight, it emitted a shimmering purple-red glow, as if it were the very heart of the boy I cherished, burning and pulsing with life.
I carefully cradled his heart in my hands, but as I did, I noticed that his hand seemed to have injuries. The moment he realized I was looking, he quickly withdrew his hand into his sleeve. I grabbed his hand to inspect it closely and was shocked to see that his once smooth and flawless hands, like jade, were now covered in abrasions, calluses, and red, swollen frostbite, some of which were on the verge of festering. He must have gone to a very cold and high mountain to personally carve the firestone.
My heart felt as if it had been struck hard, and I couldn’t help but lift his hand to my lips, kissing it over and over, until my tears soaked and penetrated the bruised and battered palm.
“Nalin, I like you, I really like you… do you know that?”
Nalin tightly embraced me, kissing my forehead and heart, our tears blending together: “Can we leave now? I don’t want to be the Young Saint Lord, I don’t want to be a prince. I want to be with you, to see the sea together.”
Go see the sea.
He was waiting for me, waiting for me to fulfill my promise, to take him away from here, to the distant places.
But my mother, my dying mother, was still waiting for me.
I felt as if I had fallen into an ice cellar, as if waking from a dream. My fingers curled tightly behind him, sinking into his hair.
Blood seeped from my lips as I managed to squeeze out a faint voice: “Nalin, I heard that your blood has miraculous powers, capable of restoring dying patients to health. Is that true?”
He was silent for a moment: “Yes. Why are you asking this?”
Then will Mother be saved?
I couldn’t hold back my excitement and took a deep breath: “Can you give me some of your blood? My… my mother is seriously ill. If she can be cured, we can leave here together.”
