LMMY chapter 103

Li Xuan didn’t have much at the office lounge. Calling it a move was an exaggeration—he was really just packing up a few clothes. Sheng Min brought two suitcases, but they only needed one. The whole trip, back and forth, took just an hour and a half.

“I could have brought everything back after work tomorrow.”

“I was afraid you’d change your mind after a whole day at the office, and then I’d have to convince you all over again.”

Sheng Min hung up their clothes one by one in the closet. Li Xuan washed the dishes before joining him to help. As he glanced around, his gaze landed on a familiar piece of clothing in Sheng Min’s luggage from the film set.

“What’s wrong?” Sheng Min saw Li Xuan looking at him with a half-smile.

“Nothing.” Li Xuan bent down, took something out, and handed it to him seriously. “I just remember having a shirt exactly like this one, but I couldn’t find it later… This is your luggage?”

Sheng Min froze for a moment before finally realizing what was going on. He pressed his lips together. “You forgot to take it with you at the time, so I brought it to the set…”

“Oh.” Li Xuan wanted to laugh but pretended not to understand. “You could have called me to pick it up or mailed it to me. You didn’t block me, did you?”

“I missed you too much. I didn’t want to give it back. I had to sleep hugging your shirt.” Sheng Min ignored his teasing and answered in an even tone.

For once, it was Li Xuan who was caught off guard. Sheng Min glanced at him. “Isn’t this what you wanted to hear?”

“I…”

Li Xuan, rarely at a loss for words, saw that although Sheng Min was pretending to be calm, his ears were actually red. The shirt he held was already wrinkled from his grip. Amused, he stepped forward and gently hugged him. “Really?”

“No.” Sheng Min pouted, hung the shirt in the closet, and went back to organizing clothes without looking at him. “I just didn’t have time to throw it away.”

“Too late for that. You’ve already let me move in. What’s the point of throwing away a shirt?” Li Xuan tilted his head and kissed his temple. “No matter how many you toss, I’ll pick them all back up.”

“Whatever.” Sheng Min couldn’t hold back his smile and pushed him out. “Alright, it’s just a little bit of stuff. I’ll finish packing. You go set up your computer in the study.”

The unopened delivery boxes had been sitting there for months. Li Xuan finally opened them to find not just a high-end pre-built PC but also separately purchased high-performance components like a new CPU and graphics card. He had no idea how much time Sheng Min had spent researching all of this. The thought made his heart ache and soften at the same time. He picked out a different graphics card and processor, installed them, and was just finishing up when he heard footsteps at the door.

“All set?”

“Yeah.” Li Xuan straightened up from behind the desk and smiled. “You’re at a loss now. Even if I bought you a room full of candy and cake, it wouldn’t be enough to repay you.”

“Take the advantage quietly, no need to say it out loud.” Sheng Min smiled and placed a blanket on the bed beside him. “The weather’s been all over the place lately—hot one moment, cold the next. I brought you a light blanket. In case—”

“I’m sleeping in the study?”

“I could sleep here too…” Sheng Min started, then suddenly realized what he had just said. He stood there, blanket in hand, lips pressed together awkwardly.

He had insisted on having Li Xuan move in, thinking only about making sure he ate and slept properly. He hadn’t even considered anything else. Now, acting on habit, he had brought the blanket to the study for Li Xuan’s convenience…

“You only want to sleep hugging my clothes?” Li Xuan didn’t seem to notice his embarrassment and deliberately asked, sounding aggrieved.

Sheng Min stayed silent, eyes lowered, avoiding his gaze. Seeing this, Li Xuan suddenly regretted pushing the joke too far. He reached out to take the blanket from him and changed the subject as if nothing had happened. “You go to bed first. I’ll make the bed…”

But Sheng Min didn’t let go. He kept his head down, so Li Xuan couldn’t see his expression from this angle. After a long moment, Sheng Min swallowed and said softly, “Don’t bother. Just come sleep in the bedroom.”

Li Xuan suddenly didn’t know what to do with his hands and feet. He coughed. “I was just joking.”

“I’m not,” Sheng Min said, gripping his hand. “Come on.”

And just like that, they walked hand in hand back to the bedroom. The two or three meters felt like a whole century.

Under the warm lights, the blankets were still messy from the time Li Xuan got up after his nap earlier. He had already showered before, so now there was no excuse to stall for time.

They had both forgotten about everything else they had been doing. Standing there dumbly for a moment, Sheng Min said, “Let’s sleep,” and Li Xuan nodded, replying, “Okay.”

Lying in bed, he very cautiously said, “Good night.” It wasn’t like they had never slept together before. On the contrary, they had spent many nights curled up like two small animals, but either their relationship had been different, or the timing had been wrong. Nothing like this had ever happened.

At first, neither of them could sleep. They lay stiffly, eyes closed, pretending to be calm but listening closely to the other’s movements. The bed felt both too big and too small—he was too far away yet so close. The warmth of each other’s skin was just within reach.

Li Xuan’s fingers unconsciously reached out, hesitated, then started to pull back. But before he could make a decision, they had already brushed against Sheng Min’s fingertips.

Both of them froze for a second. Then, Li Xuan gently held Sheng Min’s hand in his palm, licking his lips unconsciously before turning slightly to look at him. Sheng Min’s beautiful eyes were brighter than the moonlight streaming through the window.

Li Xuan knew he shouldn’t keep looking. He coughed lightly. “Go to sleep. It’ll be morning soon.”

Sheng Min made a soft sound of agreement, obediently closing his eyes. He really was tired. After a whole day of filming, rushing back home, and even doing an interview, he hadn’t rested at all.

His hand, though a little stiff in Li Xuan’s grasp, felt secure.

The breathing beside him gradually slowed and deepened. Li Xuan couldn’t help but smile. He gently pulled Sheng Min’s hand closer, placing it over his own heart, letting his pulse press against Sheng Min’s palm.

The moonlight outside the window streamed across the curtains like flowing water.

Li Xuan had slept earlier, so now he had no trace of sleepiness left. He didn’t feel bored or restless, though. Staying awake felt like being immersed in a sweet dream.

It seemed like in the blink of an eye, the moonlight had shifted from one side of the window to the other.

Sheng Min stirred slightly. Another half-minute passed before he sleepily reached out, fumbling for something on the bedside table.

“Where did I put it…” he mumbled drowsily.

He was cold. Li Xuan realized belatedly that the air conditioner was set too low.

Sheng Min must have noticed too. He hesitated, then called Li Xuan’s name softly, testing to see if he was awake.

Li Xuan didn’t want him to realize he had been pretending to sleep, so he didn’t respond right away. He planned to wait until Sheng Min called him a second time before answering.

But instead, Sheng Min sighed and slowly sat up.

It really was chilly. The temperature difference between day and night during the seasonal change was quite noticeable.

He could endure it. But the air vent was directly blowing over Li Xuan’s head, and since he was already feeling cold, he worried even more that Li Xuan might catch a cold.

Carefully, he leaned over, reaching out to grab the remote control.

But one of his hands was still held by Li Xuan, making this position somewhat inconvenient. His gentle breath brushed against Li Xuan’s skin like a thin mist, a feather-light touch that sent a shiver through Li Xuan—another kind of torment. Yet Sheng Min was completely unaware. Just as he was about to reach it, Li Xuan tightened his grip and, unable to bear it any longer, pulled him into his arms.
The remote control fell onto the carpet with a soft thud. Sheng Min’s lips were swiftly covered by Li Xuan’s hand, silencing the startled gasp that hadn’t even escaped.
He collapsed on top of him, their gazes locking in the darkness, heartbeats accelerating. Sheng Min stared at him unblinkingly, struggling to move his lips.
Trying to ask—Are you awake? Did I wake you?

His mind was a mess, no doubt. Because in their close proximity, his body reacted uncontrollably, exposed and vulnerable. The only thing he could take comfort in was that the other person felt the same.

The eye contact stretched on, growing more intense, and perhaps it had always been this way, but now it could no longer be hidden.

Without realizing it, Li Xuan’s hand had moved from Sheng Min’s cheek to his neck, thumb pressing against his Adam’s apple.

Is now the right time? He asked himself. He asked Sheng Min.

His movements were slow, giving Sheng Min countless chances to stop him.

But what is right? What is appropriate?

There was no answer—an eternal enigma. Yet the truth was already evident.

Beneath his palm, Sheng Min’s body trembled slightly. But when Li Xuan kissed him, he became calm, and responded to the kiss without a trace of hesitation.

~Every moment with you, every second you love me.

The tearing sound of a wrapper was especially loud in the darkness. Sheng Min didn’t know when Li Xuan had prepared these things or placed them by the bed. Just as he was about to ask, Li Xuan silenced him with playful kisses on his face.

Moist lips, one kiss after another, seamless, swallowing all words.

In a daze, Sheng Min had the illusion that he had let a wolf into his home—yet he was glad to be an accomplice.

Those hands, calloused from years of typing, glided over every inch of his skin, from his collarbone to waist, lingering yet restless.

Cold, yet burning.

He heard Li Xuan’s hoarse voice ask if it hurt. Sheng Min didn’t want to answer, so he reached out to cover Li Xuan’s mouth, only for his fingers to be captured and slowly kissed, one by one.

Sheng Min looked up at the chandelier, its crystal pendants swaying gently. Then he saw Li Xuan’s face—the faint furrow of his brows, the drop of sweat rolling from his hair onto his skin.

Love and desire, the world drifting and sinking in it.

They say it’s the most intoxicating affair under heaven—the drifting clouds over high towers, the misty rain of Mount Wu, spring blossoms and autumn dew, the evening breeze.

Some praise it endlessly.

But some cast it aside like worn-out shoes, claiming that to follow the righteous path, one must extinguish desires.

But it turns out, there’s not much difference between an embrace and a kiss.

Pain and pleasure only matter when they come from the one you love. He wanted to give Li Xuan everything he desired, and in Li Xuan’s fulfillment, his own soul trembled. Li Xuan’s lips lingered on his bare shoulder. When the sharpest moment of pain came, Sheng Min wrapped his arms around Li Xuan’s sweat-drenched back, turning his head to bite down on his throat.

By his ear, Li Xuan only chuckled softly, whispering in a voice that was the very opposite of his strength, “I love you.”

What were those lines again? Sheng Min thought hazily.

~You and I, deeply entangled in love.

I am in your clay, and you are in mine.

Everything—all of it—was just to be closer, both a gain and a surrender.

But when your body has once held my soul, there is no need for anything more. We have always been the closest people in the world.

Among the countless unknowns of fate, you are my one certainty.~

He didn’t remember when it ended. Nor when he fell asleep.

When he woke, the light was dim. Through a gap in the curtains, the sky outside was a soft, indistinct blue-gray. The moon had yet to set, and the world was silent. The boundary between dreams and reality blurred.

“Awake?”

Li Xuan was draped in a gray robe, a laptop resting on his knees as he sat casually on the carpet beside the bed, leaning against the frame. The moment he saw Sheng Min stir, he closed his laptop and reached out, taking Sheng Min’s fingertips in his own.

“Why are you sitting on the floor?”

“Want some water?” Li Xuan avoided the question, asking another instead.

Sheng Min blinked in confusion before nodding lightly. “Mm.”

Li Xuan smiled and picked up a glass from the bedside table—it was honey water, the faint sweetness of acacia honey lingering in the air. Sheng Min took a few sips, drinking from Li Xuan’s hand.

“Not thirsty anymore?” When Sheng Min shook his head, Li Xuan finished the rest in one gulp. Then, he wiped a drop of water from the corner of Sheng Min’s lips with his thumb and finally said, “You said you were thirsty last night, so I got up to pour water, but you fell back asleep… I was worried you’d wake up still thirsty.”

“And so you just stayed there?” Sheng Min, still drowsy, was slow to process. “Why didn’t you get back in bed?”

“You were sleeping too soundly.” Li Xuan dodged the question again.

Sheng Min pulled the blanket higher, revealing only his eyes. “You were working overtime.”

“Mm.” Li Xuan nodded readily, but for once, there was a rare, almost shy expression on his face. His voice dropped a little. “I didn’t dare look at you for too long. I…” He hesitated, then quickly leaned in to kiss Sheng Min’s forehead, muttering in frustration, “I’d only end up waking you up again.”

It was an odd remark, coming out of nowhere. Sheng Min pressed his lips together, his face gradually heating up. He turned his head away, avoiding Li Xuan’s gaze. Li Xuan, too, fell silent, a rare shyness lingering in his demeanor. After a while, when Sheng Min still didn’t respond, Li Xuan nudged his arm.

“What?”

“It’s cold,” Li Xuan shamelessly declared.

“Serves you right.”

Sheng Min muttered softly but shifted over, making space for him. As Li Xuan lifted the blanket and climbed in, Sheng Min naturally reached for his hand and pulled him closer.

“You’re so cold, it’s chilling,” Sheng Min murmured in complaint, yet without hesitation, he pressed Li Xuan’s hand against his own chest.

Li Xuan tried to pull away. “You’ll get cold.”

“Holding me for a while will warm you up.” Sheng Min blinked, innocence flickering in his eyes.

Li Xuan’s throat went dry, yet his heart was filled with a joy he had never felt before. As his body warmed slightly, he couldn’t wait any longer—he pulled Sheng Min tightly into his embrace.

Entwined together, not only did the cold disappear, but soon their touching skin grew hot. Yet neither of them was willing to let go.

Sheng Min turned over, resting against Li Xuan’s shoulder, arms wrapped around his back. After a moment, perhaps more awake now, he softly asked, “Did you smoke?”

“Do I smell like it?” Li Xuan stroked Sheng Min’s soft, slightly damp hair. “I showered before coming back to the room.”

Sheng Min shook his head, nuzzling against Li Xuan’s collarbone. “Your scent…”

“What do I smell like?” Li Xuan chuckled.

Sheng Min thought for a while, searching for the right words. “Like figs… and a little like lemons… the shampoo you always use.”

Li Xuan had never really paid attention to his shampoo before, but seeing how seriously Sheng Min spoke, he asked, “Do you like it? I can get you the same one.”

“I already did,” Sheng Min replied, satisfied, pressing closer to him again and inhaling lightly. His hand rested on Li Xuan’s chest as he sighed, “Smoke less. I know work is stressful…” His brows furrowed slightly, as if scolding a mischievous child. “But what’s so good about cigarettes… I’ll buy you tea and mint candy instead.”

Li Xuan didn’t have a strong addiction to smoking. Most of the time, he only smoked to stay awake after long hours of work—though today was an exception. He had been too happy, too flustered, yet too embarrassed to show it, so he had stepped onto the balcony, lighting a cigarette to calm himself.

But hearing Sheng Min speak like this, he deliberately said, “What’s so good about tea and mint candy?”

Sheng Min shot him an unimpressed glare that carried no real threat. Li Xuan took the opportunity to pull him in by the waist, running his hand along the bare skin of his back, smiling. “I’ve suffered such a loss, and all you’re offering me is mint candy?”

That was such a shameless thing to say. But Sheng Min indulged him anyway, propping himself up and coaxing him like a child. “Then what do you want?”

As he moved, the blanket slipped down slightly, revealing faint marks on his shoulder, some deeper than others, impossible to hide in the dim morning light.

What else could he possibly want? Li Xuan thought. The best thing in the world—he had already received it. He was the luckiest man alive.

“How about I let you keep my lighter and cigarettes?” If you’re the one watching over me, I’ll smoke less.”

He agreed so easily that Sheng Min’s eyes widened slightly. Li Xuan couldn’t help but laugh at himself—how utterly lovestruck he had become. He cupped Sheng Min’s neck and pulled him back into his embrace, capturing his soft lips in a kiss, murmuring between breaths, “You’re the best. Now give me something even sweeter than mint candy…”

In the tangle of soft blankets, it felt as if they were wrapped in layers of mist, drifting from one dream into another. Even in dreams, nothing could compare to this.

The lingering marks from the night before were covered by new ones. Li Xuan held Sheng Min from behind, pressing delicate kisses to the faint bite marks on his shoulder.

It tickled. Sheng Min laughed, squirming away. As he lifted his head, he noticed that the sky had grown brighter. At some point, the moon’s outline had softened, blending into the mist. Through the gap in the curtains, a lone star flickered faintly beside the fading moon.

“The sun’s about to rise.”

“Hm?” Li Xuan didn’t catch it, his cheek pressed against Sheng Min’s. “What?”

“The star—the morning star.” Sheng Min reached out an arm, pointing into the distance. Li Xuan followed his gaze, pausing for a second before smiling. “Yeah, the …star.”

“That fortune slip… do you still have it?” Sheng Min looked at him and asked softly.

“I do.” Li Xuan nuzzled against his cheek, quickly getting up and returning with it, holding him close again as a yellowed slip of paper landed in Sheng Min’s palm.

Sheng Min carefully unfolded it. After a moment, he smiled, a little wistful, and looked up at Li Xuan. “You always carry it with you?”

“I used to look at it every day.” Even in such a sweet moment, Li Xuan felt a faint ache in his heart. After saying that, he suddenly asked, “…Did you really sleep holding my clothes?”

A trace of embarrassment flickered across Sheng Min’s face. “It was just one time. You don’t have to bring it up every chance you get.”

Li Xuan fell quiet for a moment, then took Sheng Min’s hand, their fingertips intertwining through the silk of the blanket. The scene was anything but serious, yet his expression softened into something more solemn. “I won’t leave again… You told me to go, but you never truly meant it.”

“I did,” Sheng Min said after a brief pause.

Li Xuan only smiled, unfazed. “Then I must have been wrong.”

He lowered his head and kissed Sheng Min’s eyes. “I was so anxious. I kept trying to hold onto something, looking at it over and over, knowing I was being foolish. But you’re even sillier than me… It was just a fortune slip.”

“But this is the only one I ever asked for—the only one I need.” Sheng Min didn’t hesitate at all. Pressing close to Li Xuan, his gentle eyes met his. “Will you give it to me?”

“I’m giving it back to you.” Li Xuan tightened his grip around Sheng Min’s hand. With absolute certainty, he said, “It was always yours.” After a pause, he added, “And it will be the best fortune of all.”

Sheng Min smiled, touching Li Xuan’s face. “It already is.”

Neither of them spoke for a while after that. Li Xuan had never been one to linger in bed, yet at this moment, he couldn’t bear to part from Sheng Min’s warmth. He curled against him, unwilling to let even a sliver of space come between them.

As the quiet settled, the exhaustion from the night before crept up on them. Seeing Sheng Min’s expression grow drowsy, Li Xuan wrapped an arm around his waist, soothing his back. “Sleep a little longer.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll stay with you.”

Sheng Min’s voice grew slower, softer. “Aren’t you going to work?”

“If you don’t want me to go, I won’t.”

“Just a little later.” Sheng Min curled deeper into his embrace. “Wait until I wake up, okay?”

“Alright.”

He didn’t speak again for a long time. Then, just as he was about to drift off, he mumbled, “Am I crushing you?”

Li Xuan couldn’t help but laugh. He held him even closer, pressing his lips to his ear and whispering in a voice as soft as a lover’s secret, “You’re as light as a cloud.”