PCA Chapter 218

Having finally heard that word “missed,” Su Cen suddenly stopped moving. Instead, his nose stung as he nestled in Li Shi’s embrace, his eyes growing even redder. A year’s worth of regret, frustration, and self-pity seemed to suddenly find an outlet, all retreating like a tide.

 

So it wasn’t his one-sided wishful thinking, nor was it unwillingness—it was all just wanting what couldn’t be obtained.

 

Li Shi sighed softly. In front of this little fox, he ultimately couldn’t guard against his body’s instinctive reactions. The person before him was delicate and soft, with affection in his eyes. Just a few disheveled strands at his temples could easily drive him mad—how could he not miss him?

 

“Come here.” Su Cen reached out to hook Li Shi’s neck, pulling him down further.

 

Thin lips tore and tangled together as if neither would yield. The taste of blood gradually spread between lips, teeth, and tongue, then was instantly covered by a richer sandalwood fragrance. When Su Cen came to his senses, his back was already against the cold rosewood table surface. He shrank into Li Shi’s embrace and naturally untied the sash at his waist.

 

Lying on this table again, Su Cen suddenly remembered—their first time was here, on this very table. He had proposed a transaction, and Li Shi had unhesitatingly agreed to it.

 

Thinking back now, it seemed somewhat premeditated.

 

“You actually had improper thoughts about me long ago, didn’t you?” Su Cen smiled like a cunning little fox with his arms around Li Shi’s neck.

 

Li Shi lingered obsessively at Su Cen’s ear and neck, something slowly awakening in his blood, his breathing growing heavier: “So what if I did?”

 

Su Cen was his medicine—able to calm his mind and soothe his pain—but also his poison, its toxicity deep in his bones, impossible to quit.

 

Su Cen’s throat caught, and when he spoke again, his voice carried a hint of tears: “Then… when was it?”

 

Li Shi’s gaze fell gently on that face, lifting a strand of hair for him, his voice intoxicated like a pot of clear wine.

 

“When I watched you righteously denounce the evils of factional strife during the palace examination.”

 

“When I saw you speak with conviction defending Qu Ling’er in the teahouse.”

 

“Or perhaps back in Suzhou, when I saw you refuse to bend over a painting.”

 

“I wanted to test then—whether this person’s bones were truly hard or soft.”

 

“Old lecher…” Su Cen ultimately willingly drowned in those eyes, melting into a puddle of water.

 

When the song ended, its echoes lingered. Su Cen gazed at the intricate, delicate gauze canopy overhead, his vision still throbbing violently. Before he could catch his breath evenly, sticky, wet kisses traced along his lips again.

 

One day, just one day, let himself indulge for just one more day, Su Cen thought silently. After all, he had waited too long for this day. Once that taut string snapped, everything fell into disorder.

 

Until the last trace of sunset disappeared from a corner of the hall and starlight followed, the two had moved from the table to the chair, and now to the floor. Everywhere the eye could see was filled with passion.

 

Li Shi wrapped both of them in a large cloak. The sky had completely darkened, no one lit lamps, letting the darkness outline each other’s silhouettes bit by bit.

 

Wisps of fragrance drifted through the darkness. It hadn’t been so obvious during their earlier intensity, but now that they had quieted down, the scent grew richer. Su Cen asked: “Why are these flowers here?”

 

The Qinzheng Wuben Tower lived up to its name—built with the original intention of diligent governance. Su Cen had never much liked this place, partly because he felt it constrained Li Shi too much, and more because he was intimidated by its solemn, heavy atmosphere, always making him feel it was sinful not to hold two memorials in his hands here.

 

But looking now, with orchid pots scattered here and there in the darkness, watering cans, trowels, and unused soil piled behind the door—where was any trace of the world’s finest study?

 

Li Shi said: “The light is good here.”

 

“…” Su Cen opened his mouth. This reason was so proper he was speechless.

 

But thinking again, it wasn’t wrong. Whether it was a study or a flower room depended on the person. When Li Shi liked reading memorials, he would spread paper and grind ink beside him. When Li Shi liked growing flowers, he would hand him trowels and water. If not for that deadline hanging there, what would it matter to never leave for a lifetime?

 

“That Wang family are merchants?” Li Shi asked, looking down.

 

Su Cen secretly smiled, knowing this old fox still minded his marriage matter. He replied: “Though merchants, they’re also from a scholarly family. The grandfather was a jinshi from the last imperial examination of the previous dynasty. Later, when times were turbulent, the whole family moved to Yangzhou and abandoned officialdom for commerce, but they never abandoned poetry, books, rites, and music.”

 

“Since it was a suitable match, why did you…”

 

“Coming to the capital this time, my future is unclear, life and death uncertain. Why drag an innocent young lady into it?” Su Cen’s expression darkened momentarily, then he bit Li Shi’s Adam’s apple with sharp teeth and tongue. “News of my broken engagement has probably spread throughout Huainan Circuit. Father was so angry he expelled me from the family. I can’t return to Suzhou or Yangzhou. If you won’t keep me either, then I’ll… I’ll…”

 

Li Shi chuckled softly: “You’ll bite me to death?”

 

Su Cen lowered his eyes gently: “Then I’ll truly have nowhere to settle.”

 

Li Shi sighed softly. He knew that Su Cen’s coming this time meant he had definitely cut off his retreat. If there had been even a bit of escape route left, he couldn’t have let him continue getting involved in this whirlpool.

 

But things had come to this point. He could only hold the person in his arms and comfort him softly: “Alright, I’ll take you in. I want you.”

 

Sleeping until the sun was high, Su Cen woke the next morning with the cloak still on him, but the space beside him had grown cold.

 

Sitting up startled from his dream, only when he saw Li Shi’s figure tending to flowers and plants outside the hall did his heart settle back into his stomach.

 

A night of passion felt like a lifetime ago. Quietly finding yesterday’s clothes scattered everywhere and putting them on one by one, he stepped forward in a few strides and hugged that sturdy waist from behind, unwilling to let go.

 

Li Shi stopped his work and patted the hands circling his waist: “Sleep well?”

 

“Very well, never better,” Su Cen said softly against his back. After lingering for a while longer, breathing in enough of Li Shi’s sandalwood scent, he reluctantly raised his head: “I have to go. With treacherous people in power, Lord Su must go punish the corrupt and eliminate the wicked.”

 

Li Shi took a hand warmer from nearby and handed it to Su Cen: “Just do your best and leave the rest to fate.”

 

But Su Cen bit out each word: “Success depends on human effort.”

 

Just after leaving Xingqing Palace, he saw a carriage stopped outside the gate. Zheng Yang was leaning against it, chatting desultorily with someone inside. Seeing Su Cen emerge, he immediately came forward: “Young master, you’re finally out.”

 

Su Cen rubbed his nose somewhat embarrassedly. While he had been sleeping soundly in red candles and silk curtains, leaving Zheng Yang to blow in the northwest wind all morning outside, he felt guilty. He handed the hand warmer to Zheng Yang: “Warm yourself up.”

 

Zheng Yang tucked the hand warmer into his embrace and asked as they walked: “What did Uncle say? Was it Li Sheng’s frame-up? What’s the background of that old eunuch? Does Uncle know him?”

 

Su Cen suddenly stopped, only now realizing that regarding the case, he and Li Shi hadn’t discussed it at all.

 

He had firmly believed Li Shi must have been framed by treacherous people, and had been overwhelmed by passion, so much so that he hadn’t even asked about the circumstances when the incident occurred. Only now when Zheng Yang asked did he come to his senses, feeling embarrassed.

 

He could only speak vaguely: “We’ll know once we investigate.”

 

Approaching the carriage, Zheng Yang slowed his pace, saying somewhat hesitantly: “There’s something else. Let me tell you first…”

 

Su Cen stopped and looked over. At the same time, there was movement in the carriage. The curtain lifted and another person got out.

 

Su Cen turned back and came face to face with Ning Santong.

 

Zheng Yang later learned about the complicated relationship between the Imperial Tutor’s residence and Crown Prince Chongde, knowing that Ning Santong had once helped Li Sheng deceive Su Cen. He said with some difficulty: “Ning San also wants to help.”

 

Ning Santong turned his head and smiled at Su Cen: “Lord Zhang said the entire Dali Temple follows your orders. I wonder if Brother Su still recognizes me as a coroner?”

 

Su Cen frowned and said nothing. Ning Santong smiled helplessly: “Brother Su still doesn’t trust me.”

 

Su Cen looked at him silently for a long while before speaking: “Working with me now means opposing Li Sheng. It could implicate you, even the entire Imperial Tutor’s residence. Have you thought this through?”

 

Ning Santong smiled gently: “For the ideal that I hold dear in my heart, though death may come nine times, I will not regret it.”

 

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