PSMD – Chapter 167

Yue Chu had never thought she would be entangled with Yao Yao forever. In fact, perhaps it wasn’t even entanglement; it was just her unilaterally focusing all her thoughts on Yao Yao.

To be honest, when she received Yao Yao’s confession in her teens, she was flustered but also a little happy. But after calming down, she rejected Yao Yao.

Because she didn’t know if Yao Yao was serious.

And Yao Yao was indeed not serious. She turned around and laughed and chatted with other male classmates, and later publicly announced who she was dating. Even when the school was strictly cracking down on early relationships, Yao Yao seemed fearless. When she passed by Yue Chu, she would always lift her chin, looking smug and proud.

Yue Chu started thinking then, what impression would her rejection leave on Yao Yao?

Would she remember her?

She didn’t know, and her heart was in turmoil.

She only knew that from then on, Yao Yao would intentionally or unintentionally target her. It wasn’t that she was overtly mean, but a single look felt like a sword piercing her heart.

After starting university, Yue Chu and Yao Yao’s contact lessened. She also didn’t frequent their old friend group much, but she could always hear from friends that Yao Yao had a new boyfriend.

This time it was an older man, last time a young heartthrob, the time before that a cute ‘puppy’, and the time before that a guy who had just graduated high school.

She wanted to block these updates, but she couldn’t.

She found it too annoying.

She also felt that Yao Yao’s confession to her back then was more like a joke.

When did she realize she liked Yao Yao? Perhaps it was from the moment she saw Qiu Yang.

Qiu Yang had a pair of eyes similar to Yao Yao’s. Looking into Qiu Yang’s eyes, it was as if she saw another Yao Yao.

She knew this wasn’t right, but she still treated Qiu Yang as Yao Yao, being as good to her as possible.

But Qiu Yang wasn’t Yao Yao. Qiu Yang’s gaze towards her was always so sincere and pure, without any hint of arrogance.

Before graduating from university, Yue Chu felt it was time to wake up from her dream. She told Qiu Yang everything, and then fled Yuncheng.

Ostensibly, she went to Beijing for graduate studies.

She knew Yao Yao would definitely know, and she also knew Yao Yao wouldn’t care. She even regretted deeply why she had fallen for Yao Yao’s joke.

But there was no answer, none of it had an answer.

During the six years she studied and worked in Beijing, she tried hard not to care about these things. She learned cooking with new friends, and she learned swimming with new friends.

She kept herself busy with no time to rest, but how could that be? She wasn’t made of iron.

She even always thought of Yao Yao.

Her friends’ Moments and Weibo updated, and she saw Yao Yao again, along with a handsome guy standing beside her, their behavior intimate.

For friends who didn’t update as frequently, every time they posted photos from gatherings, Yue Chu would notice that the person standing or sitting next to Yao Yao had changed again.

But it was never her.

Even back when the homeroom teachers of their two classes were close and asked them to take a group photo after high school graduation, Yao Yao stood as far away from her as possible.

Now one of them was in Beijing, the other in Yuncheng.

Yue Chu knew very clearly that if she continued in this state, she would go crazy.

So she resigned from her company in Beijing.

Less than two days after returning to Yuncheng, there was a social gathering, and Yue Chu knew Yao Yao wouldn’t be there.

She wanted to see Yao Yao, even if they might not talk much, even if Yao Yao would bring another handsome guy she had never seen before.

Yue Chu changed into a short skirt, put on makeup, and went to this gathering, unsure of what the outcome would be.

After six years, Yao Yao seemed even more charming than before, her every move attracting the attention of the other men present.

She didn’t bring a male companion tonight. Someone teased her, asking why and where her previous handsome boyfriend was. She simply said four words lightly: “I dumped him.”

Yao Yao said it casually, as if the relationship was insignificant to her.

Yue Chu hid the bitterness at the corner of her mouth, tilted her head back, and poured a glass of wine into her mouth.

Because she worked in a voice-related field, even when she drank, she wouldn’t drink so aggressively, as it could irritate her throat.

So she started coughing.

The first person to step forward and show concern for her was none other than Yao Yao.

But Yao Yao had that same indifferent look: “Seriously? Yue Chu, you’re so bad at drinking, and you’re still drinking?”

Yue Chu just stared at her. Under the dim lights of the bar, perhaps her head was controlled by alcohol, she parted her lips and said, “Want to go to a hotel?”

She clearly saw Yao Yao’s expression freeze. Just when she thought Yao Yao would refuse, she heard Yao Yao hum in response, “Okay.”

Yue Chu remembered the subsequent scenes clearly.

She remembered how she took off Yao Yao’s clothes, she remembered the soft taste of Yao Yao’s lips, and she remembered what she did to Yao Yao.

After she had rejected Yao Yao back then, there was a sense of tension every time they met, but now that tension had completely transformed into a romantic atmosphere.

After that night, it seemed she became entangled with Yao Yao.

Entangled in every sense of the word.

She hadn’t found a new job yet and was staying in a hotel. Yao Yao would come over whenever she had time, and then they would end up in bed.

She didn’t know if it was her imagination, but she felt Yao Yao was even more inexperienced in this regard than she was.

To be more specific, it was probably like she had watched adult films, but Yao Yao hadn’t even seen one.

Yue Chu also wanted to have a proper talk with Yao Yao about whether their relationship, which was only about sex and no feelings, was right. But just as she was about to talk to Yao Yao, she heard someone call Yao Yao, and she accidentally glimpsed the caller ID.

The contact name was “Darling”.

Yue Chu’s heart plummeted. Yao Yao walked outside the door to answer the call.

Yue Chu looked at the closed door and felt there was no need to talk. This kind of relationship was a bit twisted, but only this way could she see Yao Yao and have her.

But because of that call, Yue Chu’s attitude towards Yao Yao gradually cooled down. She thought she needed to stay rational and not lose herself when it came to Yao Yao.

She found a new job and started working quickly.

Before her first show aired, Yue Chu struggled for a long time before finally calling Yao Yao.

Forget it, let it be this way. Their current state was destined to be like this.

Because she liked her, she couldn’t be hard-hearted towards Yao Yao. She could only force herself to work hard, try to distract herself, and have less contact with Yao Yao.

This was a way of deceiving herself, one that Yue Chu had used many times in the past few years, and she was already used to it.

It was just that she seemed addicted to Yao Yao, and now it was at the most difficult stage to control.

Only by restraining herself could she prevent her feelings from being too obvious in front of Yao Yao.

But it was so hard, because her liking for Yao Yao was much more than she had expected.

Before, she thought it wouldn’t be this way, but now she had to accept her fate.

It’s just…

She cared very much about Yao Yao’s attitude.

Was Yao Yao just treating her like a fish now?

Or was it that she was someone Yao Yao couldn’t get after a joke confession before, but now they were sleeping together, and that made Yao Yao feel good?

Yao Yao had never explicitly told her any of this, and in front of her, she watched Yao Yao take many calls and reply to many messages.

It was as if someone was always looking for Yao Yao, and as if many people liked Yao Yao.

After a long time like this, Yue Chu couldn’t take it anymore. Just when her relationship with Qiu Yang was repaired, Qiu Yang asked her to help take care of her cat.

Yue Chu agreed. She used the cat as an excuse to put off Yao Yao.

Unexpectedly, Yao Yao cried because of a cat. The moment Yue Chu received the call from Shen Ningruo, it would be a lie to say she wasn’t shocked.

Why did Yao Yao cry?

It must be because she cared.

But why did she care?

Perhaps she was afraid of losing her, a not-bad casual partner.

That’s what Yue Chu was thinking, but her actions weren’t hesitant at all; she immediately went to find Yao Yao.

On the surface, she didn’t pretend to be overly eager to comfort her, but unexpectedly, Yao Yao became even sadder because of it.

This made Yue Chu a bit overwhelmed, as she had never seen Yao Yao like this. But when she thought about Yao Yao’s attitude towards her, she hardened her heart again.

She just didn’t expect Yao Yao to confess everything later.

Yue Chu forgot what she was thinking at that moment, but she only remembered that she was very happy.

So, Yao Yao had also been liking her all these years.

The confession in high school wasn’t a joke either; it was just that young people didn’t know sincerity was the most precious thing, which was why the misunderstanding had lasted for so many years.

“Yue Chu, please stop tormenting me, okay? I don’t know what you’re thinking. I keep trying to guess, but no matter how much I guess, I still can’t figure it out.”

“I was so happy when you came back from Beijing. I even specifically went to Shen Ningruo and asked her to help me check my makeup. We hadn’t seen each other for so long, and I wanted to look even better in front of you than before, to make you feel how wrong your choice was to reject me back then.”

“But when everyone’s eyes were on me, you didn’t care. When they gossiped about my past relationships, you didn’t care either. If you didn’t care about me, then why did you start something with me? Why did you invite me to the hotel? Why did you have this relationship with me?”

“I don’t want to continue like this, but I’ve liked you for so many years. I finally got a chance to be close to you, I finally waited for you to come back from Beijing, but at the same time, I’m so sad. You’re hot and cold towards me, distant and close. You even value a cat more than me. Do I really have no place in your heart at all?”

Yue Chu listened to her words, her heart filled with joy, but she hadn’t reached the most important point yet: “What about those exes? You said you’ve liked me for so many years, what about them?”

“Wuwuwu, they were all actors I hired.” Yao Yao’s tears flowed down. “I deliberately had them put on a show with me because I knew those friends would post on Moments and Weibo, I knew you followed them, I knew you would see.”

“But it seemed useless. You wouldn’t like or comment. I didn’t know what you were thinking when you saw those.”

Yao Yao became more and more aggrieved as she spoke: “You rejected me back then, which made me feel so embarrassed. You didn’t even pay attention to me, always going in and out with that male academic star. Other classmates said you were a perfect match, and my heart ached so much. But you didn’t like me back then, and after so many years, I thought, what if things had changed?”

“But you still don’t like me, Yue Chu.”

“Why do you still not like me?”

“I beg you to like me.”

Listening to her heartbreaking confession, Yue Chu’s heart also felt a pang of sadness.

In their youth, they valued face too much, leading to missing out on so many years.

“You don’t need to beg me.” Yue Chu cupped her face.

Yao Yao cried even louder: “It’s over, begging you is useless, isn’t it? I don’t have any chance at all…”

Before she could even finish the word “at all”, her lips were sealed by Yue Chu.

Yue Chu’s eyes were moist. The hand cupping Yao Yao’s face slid down to embrace Yao Yao’s waist, deepening the kiss.

But both their tears were flowing down, until they touched their lips and were drawn into their mouths.

The kiss lasted for a long time. Yao Yao’s emotions gradually calmed down. After it ended, Yue Chu rested her forehead against Yao Yao’s forehead, her voice slightly choked with tears—

“You don’t need to beg me.”

“Because I’ve also liked you for many years.”