PSMD – Chapter 52

Miao Yi had to go home for the Qingming Festival to pay respects to her ancestors. Before leaving, she played with Pingzi at Qiu Yang’s place for a while, then said to Qiu Yang, who had just finished lunch, “Yangyang, take good care of yourself these next couple of days.”

Qiu Yang looked a bit haggard, and Miao Yi was still worried about her current state.

She knew about Qiu Yang’s family situation, so she didn’t ask anything directly. Besides, Qiu Yang had a cat to look after, so she definitely wouldn’t be going back home.

“I will,” Qiu Yang grinned at her. “Be careful on your way back, and keep your phone safe. Don’t lose it again.”

Miao Yi’s hometown was in a county town in Yuncheng. She had to take a bus back, which took about two hours. It was also a peak holiday period, so train stations and bus stations were packed with people. Miao Yi had lost her phone once before while traveling.

Miao Yi gritted her teeth just thinking about it. “These thieves are too rampant now.”

She clenched her fist. “I definitely won’t lose it this time.”

“Okay.”

Miao Yi rubbed Pingzi’s head again, then stood up, said “Goodbye” to Qiu Yang, and walked to the door to pick up her luggage.

Once Miao Yi left, only Qiu Yang and Pingzi were left in the living room, looking at each other. She beckoned to Pingzi, and Pingzi obediently wagged her tail and came to her leg.

Qiu Yang picked her up, stroked her fur, and smiled slightly. “Thank you, Xiao Ping, for keeping me company.”

Pingzi: “Meow.”

Qiu Yang hadn’t slept well last night. Without Shen Ningruo, she tossed and turned, finally managing to fall asleep with the help of melatonin, but she kept having nightmares.

The nightmares were fragmented, pieced together from many scenes.

One moment, her grandparents were pointing at her, calling her a jinx.

Another moment, her mother was wiping away tears in front of her, saying, “Yangyang, Mom won’t see you anymore.”

Then, her aunt and uncle were hitting her back with a feather duster, spewing out unbearable words.

Qiu Yang woke up drenched in sweat and took another shower. She knew she looked haggard, which was why Miao Yi was so worried.

Qingming Festival…

Qiu Yang had never participated in ancestor worship. When she was little, she was told she wasn’t worthy, and when she grew up, no one wanted her back, so she never got involved.

But last night’s nightmares had awakened many of her memories, leaving Qiu Yang listless after waking up. She took a while to recover, felt the room was stuffy, and simply put Pingzi in her pet carrier backpack, hung her DSLR camera around her neck, and went out.

For those who didn’t participate in ancestor worship, the three-day Qingming holiday was a good time for travel. Yuncheng was as crowded as ever, with a large influx of visitors.

Qiu Yang put on a baseball cap and walked along the street to the right from the community gate. She walked and took photos along the way.

One moment she was photographing eaves, the next shops, then traffic lights, and then people’s backs.

Yuncheng wasn’t sunny today; the overcast weather made her photography more atmospheric and convenient. Soon, she had taken many pictures.

Pingzi wasn’t afraid of strangers and didn’t show any stress reactions. She stood inside the pet carrier backpack, looking at the scenery outside through the transparent window. People walking behind Qiu Yang saw her, covered their mouths, and told their companions, “So cute!” followed by a flurry of photos of Pingzi.

Perhaps seeing a bird in the sky, Pingzi’s chin trembled. When the bird flew away and was out of sight, she looked straight ahead again and tilted her head at the growing crowd of onlookers.

Qiu Yang’s attention wasn’t on Pingzi, but this wasn’t the first time she had taken Pingzi out like this. Miao Yi had even joked before that Pingzi could be sent to a cat cafe to work. Given Pingzi’s popularity, being the top star and sales champion of a cat cafe wouldn’t be a problem.

After walking for over half an hour, Qiu Yang felt thirsty. There was a bubble tea shop nearby, so she went in and chose a fruit tea. While waiting, a girl next to her pointed at Pingzi and said to Qiu Yang, “Miss, your cat is so cute.”

“Thank you,” Qiu Yang smiled slightly.

“What’s her name?” the girl asked curiously.

Qiu Yang pursed her lips, thought about saying Pingzi, but finally changed her answer: “Pangpang.”

Pingzi, who heard Qiu Yang talking to a stranger: …?

Mom, half an hour ago you were still calling me Pingzi.

The girl was with her boyfriend. Hearing Qiu Yang’s answer, she pulled her boyfriend’s wrist, but smiled at Qiu Yang and said, “It’s the same name as our dog!”

Qiu Yang smiled again as a reply.

Just then, her fruit tea was ready. She took the bag, said thank you, and left the shop.

As soon as she poked the straw through the plastic film, the phone in Qiu Yang’s pocket rang. She took a sip, then took out her phone to see the caller ID.

It was Yue Chu.

Qiu Yang immediately answered and sat down on a bench under a tree by the roadside. “Jie.”

“Yangyang, are you in Yuncheng today?” Yue Chu asked gently. She knew about Qiu Yang’s family situation and, thinking it was Qingming Festival, called to ask.

“Yes.”

“Jie, you know I don’t have a home.”

Qiu Yang gave a bitter smile, then placed the backpack on her lap and unzipped it. Pingzi’s chubby head popped out, looking at the people walking by.

“Why don’t you have a home?” Yue Chu sighed softly. “Come over for dinner tonight.”

“But come early, I have the late shift tonight.”

“Okay.” Qiu Yang had received a message from Yue Chu about her job last night and had sent her blessings. But Yue Chu had been busy finding a place and a job in Yuncheng, and she hadn’t congratulated her in person yet. Tonight was a good opportunity.

“Then come at five?”

“I’ll send you the address on WeChat.”

Qiu Yang patted Pingzi’s head, which was still trying to poke further out, and a smile finally appeared on her lips. “Alright.”

After hanging up, Qiu Yang’s smile faded again. She looked up at the sky, then carried Pingzi on her back and walked back.

At 4:30 PM, Qiu Yang left home with a bag slung over her shoulder. Her complexion was really poor, so she put on some makeup to cover it up before leaving. Otherwise, knowing Yue Chu, she would definitely be very worried.

She didn’t want Yue Chu to worry.

As for her and Shen Ningruo, they hadn’t exchanged a single message since last night. Qiu Yang actually almost couldn’t resist sending Shen Ningruo something, but thinking it was Qingming Festival and Shen Ningruo might be very busy, she held back.

Even though Shen Ningruo’s place looked very deserted.

Shen Ningruo was indeed busy. She was busy arguing with Shen Yuankai. Today, for Qingming Festival, she went to pick up Shen Yuankai to go to the cemetery, but as soon as he got in the car, he started criticizing Shen Ningruo about Guo Ming’an.

Shen Ningruo listened with a cold face. When he finally quieted down a bit, she asked, “Are you done scolding?”

“If Mom knew you were treating me like this now, what do you think she would think?”

Shen Yuankai gasped in anger, but thinking of his deceased wife, he finally pursed his lips and said no more, just looked out the window, his brows and mouth turned downwards.

Shen Ningruo looked at him twice, her own expression blank.

The cemetery was very crowded now. Some came alone, others in groups of seven or eight. Most people’s hands weren’t empty; they were holding either flowers or some fruit.

Shen Ningruo had prepared all of this long ago. With a solemn expression, she walked towards her mother’s tombstone.

But with every step, her heart sank a little further.

From the time she could remember, her parents were arguing endlessly, over and over. Sometimes Shen Yuankai would slam the door and leave, not coming back for days, nights, or even a month. Her mother would tell her how meaningless life felt, not knowing the point of continuing.

In fact, Shen Yuankai and Shen Ningruo’s mother had married for love, but they had little time to adjust, and after marriage, they started arguing frequently. Shen Yuankai often spoke carelessly, every word like a knife, piercing her mother and also entering her ears.

Shen Yuankai didn’t resort to physical violence, but he constantly used cold treatment.

When Shen Ningruo was seventeen, her mother, suffering from severe depression, finally chose to end her life. When Shen Yuankai was once again giving her the silent treatment and not planning to come home, she chose suicide.

For many years after that, Shen Ningruo would remember the scene of coming home and seeing her mother motionless. She cried and screamed, called an ambulance, and soon after, the doctor patted her shoulder and told her to accept her grief.

It was also around that time that Shen Ningruo saw the boy in the white shirt kissing another girl in the alley.

“Mom,” Shen Ningruo placed the chrysanthemums in front of the tombstone, her eyes stinging. “I’ve come to see you.”

Shen Yuankai was beside her, bending down to arrange the fruit, silent.

Soon, crying could be heard from the nearby graves. Shen Ningruo kept her tears from falling.

After leaving the cemetery, Shen Ningruo drove Shen Yuankai home. Before parting, her gaze was cold: “Please stop interfering in my affairs.”

Shen Yuankai was startled, then watched Shen Ningruo turn and leave, the door closing with a “bang.”

He lowered his eyelids, finally letting out a sigh.

Shen Ningruo returned to her apartment. She collapsed onto the sofa, hesitated for a long time, but didn’t send a message to Qiu Yang.

Qiu Yang’s place looked very warm; perhaps she had gone home today.

She picked up the little lamb plushie she had bought last night from the sofa and kneaded it casually, then opened Weibo.

Qiu Yang’s photography account had updated with a few photos today, with just two words as the caption: 【Qingming.】

Her photos were very atmospheric, making people feel even heavier.

Shen Ningruo’s mind was full of thoughts. She buried her head in the little lamb plushie, and slowly, tears seeped out.

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