PSMD – Chapter 64

Even with someone as close as Yue Chu and Miao Yi, Qiu Yang always spoke lightly about things. She rarely went into specific details to explain her grievances. And in front of Tao Sixian, she wanted to show even less; she wanted Tao Sixian to see her exactly as she appeared, someone who hadn’t experienced much pain.

She used to think Yue Chu felt distant from everyone, but she realized she was the same, or perhaps, she was a little “guarded” around everyone.

She didn’t want her most vulnerable side to be discovered.

But she had been through a lot. Sometimes, just thinking about it would make her chest tight, and she’d even have nightmares at night, waking up drenched in sweat.

Some things were like wounds, one after another. Time would say, “Let me heal it for you,” but it only put a bandage over it.

So the wound remained, occasionally aching. Once the thought of confiding in someone arose, the bandage would pull, causing blood to flow out and revealing a terrifying sight.

Qiu Yang was afraid of pain. She hadn’t been willing to talk about it before, but facing Shen Ningruo, she didn’t know why she suddenly wanted to speak.

But she actually knew the reason.

After acting spoiled towards Shen Ningruo yesterday, Qiu Yang thought of a sentence she saw online—

Acting spoiled is because you sense the possibility of being favored.

Therefore, Qiu Yang acted spoiled. It was a decision she made after gathering immense courage. In the past, she would only unconsciously show such expressions and tones when occasionally facing Pingzi one-on-one.

Of course, at those moments, no one else could be present.

Yes, Qiu Yang realized this: Shen Ningruo would always be on her side. Although they hadn’t known each other for long, she just knew.

She saw Shen Ningruo’s kindness towards her in the subtle details, whether it was worrying about her drinking or worrying about her leading the group alone.

Shen Ningruo was like an oasis she encountered in the desert, or a signpost she found when lost.

No matter which analogy, she was very important to Qiu Yang.

So she told Shen Ningruo. She peeled back the gauze and showed Shen Ningruo her bloody wound.

Shen Ningruo listened, her eyes turning red, her nose stinging. She pushed herself up onto the shore with her hands.

She was completely soaked.

Qiu Yang, her eyes blurry, brought her a bath towel, her voice filled with concern: “Be careful not to catch a cold again.”

Qiu Yang’s voice already had a slight nasal tone. Shen Ningruo watched another tear fall from her eye and felt even more heartache.

“I believe you.” Shen Ningruo wrapped herself in the towel and hugged Qiu Yang tightly. She didn’t know what to say at that moment, so she repeated, “I believe you.”

“Our little Yang is so good.”

Qiu Yang had a good personality and temper, and seemed excellent in all aspects. Shen Ningruo had previously thought she was a good girl who had grown up smoothly. She also hadn’t thought of actively asking about Qiu Yang’s family, because those things weren’t important; she only cared about Qiu Yang.

But hearing Qiu Yang recount something she had tried hard to control her expression while saying, made her heart feel as if it had been struck by a hammer, causing her so much pain that she had to exert great effort to hold back.

Shen Ningruo still had some moisture on her body. Qiu Yang felt it the moment she was hugged. Her chin rested on Shen Ningruo’s shoulder, and with a blink, another tear couldn’t be held back.

“I said yesterday that was the first time I acted spoiled. That was actually false, it wasn’t the first time.”

“It was the second time.”

“It’s okay, first time or second time, it doesn’t matter.” Shen Ningruo gently patted Qiu Yang’s back. She wanted to soothe Qiu Yang’s emotions, but she knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

Shen Ningruo knew Qiu Yang was extremely sensitive and a person with her own strong ideas, so she wasn’t willing to force Qiu Yang to do anything.

However, she just recalled that every time Qiu Yang showed her weakness, it was because she had been drinking. When she was sober, she still looked well-behaved and gentle.

Qiu Yang had always made herself appear very strong.

“Do you know why I agreed to let that little girl from Xicheng go with you?”

“Do you know why I agreed to play the ring toss game with you?”

“I don’t know.”

“I said you were being boring at the time.”

“No,” Qiu Yang suddenly chuckled, her slightly heavy nasal tone still rising slightly, “It’s because when I was little, I acted spoiled towards my aunt, saying I really wanted a doll, no matter how small.”

“But I didn’t get one. All I got was my aunt’s scolding and the pain of the feather duster landing on me.”

“That day, that little girl told me it was the first doll she had ever received.”

Qiu Yang closed her eyes. The past scenes were too vivid. She thought after so many years they should have blurred, but as long as she thought about them, the quality of these scenes was still like Blu-ray quality, 1080p.

Shen Ningruo truly hadn’t expected there to be this underlying reason.

Speaking of this, Qiu Yang let out a deep breath. She didn’t want to continue talking and immediately changed the subject: “Director Shen, aren’t you still going to teach me how to swim?”

Shen Ningruo’s eyes were already red: “Not teaching anymore.”

“We’re going back now.”

Qiu Yang came out of her embrace, a bright smile on her face, though there were still tears in her eyes, making her look even more heartbreaking: “I’m fine. I’ve actually always wanted to overcome this hurdle, I just never had the courage before.”

Shen Ningruo couldn’t tell if she was talking about swimming or about confiding in her about the past, perhaps it was both.

Shen Ningruo’s lips moved, and finally she replied, “Okay.”

“I’ll guide you.”

Qiu Yang grinned: “Thank you, Ruoruo.”

At this point, both knew the topic about Qiu Yang’s past had been moved past, so they tacitly didn’t bring it up again.

Two hours later, Shen Ningruo drove Qiu Yang away from the swimming pool. Her emotions hadn’t actually calmed down yet, but she didn’t want to show it in front of Qiu Yang.

There wasn’t much going on over the weekend, so Qiu Yang planned to take a nap after getting back. This morning, Qiu Wenyun’s call had woken her up suddenly, and swimming was exercise, so she naturally felt sleepy.

Shen Ningruo still had some work matters to attend to. After dropping her off at the entrance of her residential complex, she drove away.

Qiu Yang felt a pang of emptiness. She watched Shen Ningruo’s car disappear around the corner before looking away.

Opening up her heart was a very difficult thing for Qiu Yang. She had done a lot of mental preparation before daring to speak it all out.

She felt Shen Ningruo’s favoritism, but Qiu Yang was actually worried it was another illusion, or just temporary, not something that could last.

When she first met Tao Sixian, it was in a bar. Tao Sixian helped her out of a difficult situation, and in that moment, she felt Tao Sixian was a very good and wonderful person, because she was still a stranger then.

Moreover, before they got together, Tao Sixian presented an even more perfect image, causing the Qiu Yang of that time to fall for her without hesitation.

Therefore, after the breakup, for several days, Qiu Yang couldn’t quite accept that Tao Sixian had been deceiving her all along. It was only with the passage of time, coupled with Shen Ningruo’s appearance, that Qiu Yang learned what it meant to be cared for.

After separating from Qiu Yang, Shen Ningruo’s entire face darkened, her lips pressed tightly together, making it impossible to tell what she was thinking.

She knew it herself.

Yao Yao had just dropped Yue Chu off downstairs when Shen Ningruo called. Hearing Shen Ningruo’s serious tone, Yao Yao also became serious.

When they met, Yao Yao frowned: “What’s wrong? So urgent.”

“It’s about Xiao Yang.”

“Xiao Yang?”

“Oh, right, Qiu Yang.”

“What about her?”

“Don’t you have a lot of connections?” Shen Ningruo said with a grim face. “Help me look into her uncle, aunt, and her cousin.”

It was rare for Yao Yao to see Shen Ningruo wear such a furious look over someone else’s matters, so she immediately scrolled through her WeChat contacts and sent messages to a few reliable people.

“But why are you asking about this?” Yao Yao sent another message, then looked up at Shen Ningruo.

Shen Ningruo had calmed down quite a bit now, but she still got angrier the more she thought about it. Hearing Yao Yao’s question, she paused, then replied, “Something came up.”

“Okay.” Yao Yao didn’t ask further. The person she was now seemed like two different people from the one who had cried uncontrollably yesterday.

“How did your talk with Yue Chu go?”

Yao Yao raised an eyebrow: “I’m more important than the cat.”

Shen Ningruo: “… “

How could someone be so jealous over a cat? Although Shen Ningruo knew the cat was just the last straw that made Yao Yao break down.

Soon, someone replied to Yao Yao’s phone. Yao Yao directly handed the phone to Shen Ningruo, letting her read the text.

The person said they happened to know Qiu Yang’s uncle and aunt. They ran a small shop in a corner of Anzi Street in the suburbs and were living quite well.

Shen Ningruo stared at the words “living quite well,” and the anger in her heart intensified.

Yao Yao “uh”ed: “Ruoruo, I think you’re about to spontaneously combust with the amount of anger you have right now.”

Shen Ningruo was slightly startled by the remark, then heard Yao Yao say: “The last time I saw you this angry was… that day with your mother…”

“Yes,” Shen Ningruo said with a bitter smile.

“You said before that you couldn’t stay by her side,” Yao Yao realized how important Qiu Yang was to Shen Ningruo. “What about now?”

Qiu Yang’s image appeared before Shen Ningruo’s eyes. After a moment of thought, she replied, “Now, only I can stay by her side.”

“Whatever she wants, as long as I have it, I will give it to her.”

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Sorry for the delay; I’ve been travelling due to work, and of all the times, my laptop decided to take a paid leave now. I’ll try my best to get the chapters out daily.

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