PSMD – Chapter 89

The first time she told Qiu Yang she liked her, last weekend, Qiu Yang didn’t respond either, neither to “I really like you” nor “my little lamb.” Oh no, Qiu Yang did respond to the second one, just a few days ago, but not in person, and before the words “my Ruoruo,” there was a prefix—

Reluctantly.

Human emotions are always unpredictable. Someone laughing heartily one second might be crying the next. Shen Ningruo didn’t feel she was being that dramatic, but her mood had indeed changed in an instant.

It was like going back two months from this vibrant spring, returning to the cold winter.

Shen Ningruo lowered her gaze, looking at Pingzi, who was still curious about the outside world. She raised her hand and tapped the cat carrier, remaining silent.

Qiu Yang was still closing her eyes and basking in the sun, unaware of the change in the person beside her. When she opened her eyes, Shen Ningruo looked no different than before.

It’s okay.

Adults don’t need to say “I like you” every day.

Shen Ningruo had already talked herself out of it, hiding her disappointment, not wanting Qiu Yang to notice and worry.

Otherwise, if Qiu Yang asked, how would she answer?

She was already 28 years old. If she was still unhappy because Qiu Yang hadn’t said “I like you,” wouldn’t she seem too childish? It didn’t fit her usual image at all.

Qiu Yang stood up, stretched, and then looked at Shen Ningruo with a smile. “Let’s go.”

“We can turn back once we reach the front.”

Shen Ningruo’s lips curved slightly. “Okay.” While Qiu Yang walked ahead, she quietly let out a breath.

How could sadness be so easily hidden?

It would definitely show soon.

Shen Ningruo felt she would definitely give herself away in front of Qiu Yang, so after they returned, she found an excuse. “Little lamb, I have some company matters to deal with. I’ll go take care of them first. You need to edit photos anyway.”

Qiu Yang didn’t suspect anything. “Okay.”

Shen Ningruo let Pingzi out of the cat carrier, a smile playing on her lips. Then she stood up and hugged Qiu Yang. “Then remember to miss me.”

“Mm.” The answer was just a single syllable again.

Shen Ningruo’s smile dropped, and her eyelids drooped. But when she met Qiu Yang’s gaze again, nothing showed at all.

She knew Qiu Yang liked her.

She was very certain of this.

Their kisses, their lovemaking, every hug, and every sweet look told her this, which only made Shen Ningruo feel more clearly how childish she was being.

Qiu Yang had already responded to her affection through her actions, she just hadn’t said it out loud. Was she going to nitpick even about this?

Shen Ningruo cursed herself inwardly while feeling even more down.

She really wanted to hear Qiu Yang say “I like you,” but Qiu Yang seemed to have no intention of saying it.

Shen Ningruo had received many confessions and heard “I like you” many times in her life, but each time before, she had responded indifferently, and mostly with rejection, giving no room for hope.

Now, because Qiu Yang hadn’t said it, she was plunged into deep sadness.

After leaving, this emotion grew larger and larger. Shen Ningruo knew she was getting stuck in a rut and going down a dead end, but she couldn’t help it, so she started overthinking.

There were indeed things waiting for her at the company, but it wouldn’t take long. She drove away from the company and returned to her own apartment instead.

Her mood was heavy. After thinking for a while, she called Yao Yao.

Yue Chu happened to be at the station, and Yao Yao was also quite bored, so she came over quickly. She was about to express surprise at how different the apartment renovation was, when she saw Shen Ningruo take out two bottles of red wine from the wine cabinet and utter two words: “Drink up.”

“What’s wrong?” Yao Yao found it strange. “You were fine this morning, weren’t you?”

“It’s afternoon now,” Shen Ningruo opened a bottle of red wine and poured it into a wine glass, her face reflected on the bottle.

Yao Yao sat cross-legged on the rug opposite Shen Ningruo. She continued looking around. The cat tree in the corner was clearly for Pingzi. She opened her mouth, but before she could ask, Shen Ningruo placed a glass of red wine in front of her, repeating the two words: “Drink up.”

“I can’t drink.”

“I have to pick someone up tonight.”

Whenever Yue Chu had a night shift, Yao Yao would go pick her up. Their misunderstandings had been resolved recently, and they were no longer as cautious with each other as before.

Shen Ningruo didn’t insist. Her eyelids drooped. She picked up the wine glass, tilted her head back, and took a big gulp.

Yao Yao was startled. “What on earth is wrong?”

“Did you two argue?”

“We didn’t argue.” Shen Ningruo pursed her lips. “I’m having a tantrum with myself.”

Yao Yao furrowed her brow. “Then what are you having a tantrum about with yourself?”

The apartment was now decorated very warmly and cozily, but Shen Ningruo still felt a bit cold. She picked up the remote control and turned on the air conditioning. She didn’t answer Yao Yao’s question, instead tilting her head back and taking another sip of wine, then closing her eyes.

Before her eyes was Qiu Yang smiling and looking at her. Everything, from her gaze to her expression, clearly told her that she liked her.

But those beautiful and tempting lips had almost never said it to her.

Shen Ningruo let out a heavy sigh. Her elbow rested on the coffee table, and her eyes felt a little hot.

Her emotions were already running high, and now she was drinking. The things she thought about would only increase, and the two conflicting thoughts began to fight.

Yao Yao sighed and silently poured herself a glass of water. “Could it be that you’re worried about the fact that Yangyang isn’t your girlfriend yet?”

Shen Ningruo: “…No.”

“Yes.”

“So is it or isn’t it?”

Shen Ningruo looked at her. “I don’t know.”

“I’m just suddenly very conflicted about one thing, which is that she hasn’t responded to my confession.”

Yao Yao immediately understood. “But you know very clearly yourself that she likes you, right?”

“Yes.”

Yao Yao said earnestly, “Ruoruo, some people just don’t want to say anything, they only do things silently. I think Chuchu and Yangyang are very similar in this regard.”

“When you said you liked Yue Chu…”

“Did Yue Chu respond to you?”

“…She did.”

Shen Ningruo’s lips twitched. “Then they’re still different.”

She paused, her tone becoming a little self-mocking. “She didn’t respond to me.”

As soon as she finished speaking, Shen Ningruo picked up the glass again, tilted her head back, and took another big gulp. When she put the glass back on the coffee table, it was almost empty.

Yao Yao’s eyebrow twitched. She wanted to pick up her phone and ask Yue Chu for help, but Shen Ningruo glanced at her and said lightly, “Don’t ask Yue Chu to call her over.”

“This is my own mental storm. I can handle it.”

“You can handle my foot.”

Shen Ningruo’s eyes were half-closed. She was propping up her head, but her alcohol tolerance was just average, not as good as Qiu Yang’s. Looking at Yao Yao now, things were a bit blurry. “I can actually guess what she’s thinking. Maybe her previous relationship hurt her, so she’s unwilling to easily say ‘like’.”

“Then why are you still conflicted if you’ve guessed it?”

“Of course I’m conflicted, because the last person she said ‘like’ to still wasn’t me. Can you understand this feeling?”

Putting herself in Shen Ningruo’s shoes like that, Yao Yao instantly understood Shen Ningruo’s pain point.

It wasn’t just that Qiu Yang hadn’t said “like” to Shen Ningruo, but also that the last person Qiu Yang had said “like” to was that trash ex.

It hadn’t been updated to Shen Ningruo yet.

This wasn’t just superficial; it was a necessary process. Compared to doing, saying is actually much easier. Doing is harder, otherwise there wouldn’t be so many promises that are made but not kept.

But Qiu Yang did the opposite, only doing and not saying.

Yao Yao pursed her lips, looking at Shen Ningruo’s somewhat pained expression. For a moment, she didn’t know what to do. Calling Qiu Yang over was unrealistic, since Shen Ningruo had already said not to.

“Ruoruo, do you really want to hear her say it?”

Shen Ningruo had already slumped back onto the sofa. She was feeling a bit dizzy, but she could still hear what Yao Yao was asking. She nodded and replied, “Of course.”

“Even kids know you should say ‘I like you’ out loud, why don’t adults understand?”

“No, it’s not that she doesn’t understand, she just doesn’t say it.”

Yao Yao sighed again. She slowly stood up, went to open the refrigerator, and took out some honey, planning to make Shen Ningruo a glass of honey water to sober her up.

But Shen Ningruo had no intention of drinking it. She was now trapped in the abyss of her emotions. When she closed her eyes, she seemed to hear Qiu Yang saying she liked her, but when she opened her eyes, Qiu Yang wasn’t by her side.

Shen Ningruo rubbed her eyes. She reached for the second glass and started drinking it. Then she heard the phone on the coffee table ring.

It was hers, not Yao Yao’s. Shen Ningruo was certain of this.

She picked up the phone and squinted at the caller ID. It was Qiu Yang, the person she had been thinking about.

She immediately sat up straight and widened her eyes. Only when she felt she was completely sober did she slide to answer the call. “Hello? Little lamb.”

She couldn’t possibly not answer Qiu Yang’s call.

“Have you been drinking?” Qiu Yang immediately noticed she sounded different.

Shen Ningruo broke down in an instant. “Wuwuwu.”

“Little lamb, do you really like me too?”

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