PTGWD Chapter 30：Beloved

What to do?

Under normal circumstances, Lu Jianchuan has an extremely good temper. The trivial and mundane emotions of human society hold no significance for him. The only person he cares about is Fang Xingzhou, and when it comes to matters involving Fang Xingzhou, he has no limits in fulfilling his lover’s every need, rarely getting angry.

The two have been together for a full decade, and the number of times they’ve argued can be counted on one hand. Fang Xingzhou thought long and hard, but aside from the conflict over a misleading photo taken at graduation and the recent fake engagement banquet with Wang Fei, he couldn’t recall any other disputes.

An angry Lu Jianchuan is a rare sight, and Fang Xingzhou doesn’t have much experience dealing with it. He could only watch helplessly.

Soon, Lu Jianchuan finished making breakfast and brought it to the table, his face still dark as if it could drip water. He carried a pile of knives and silently went upstairs.

Fang Xingzhou called out to him with little confidence, “Deer, let’s talk again. I’m really sorry for scaring you this morning…..”

Lu Jianchuan paused slightly on the stairs but didn’t respond to his partner’s attempt to placate him. He pretended not to hear a word and stormed back to the bedroom, slamming the door shut.

Fang Xingzhou: “…”

What to do? He felt somewhat lost.

He was going to be late for work and had no appetite for breakfast. He went upstairs and quietly pushed the door open a crack, only to see Lu Jianchuan sitting on the floor, holding a whetstone and dulling the blades one by one.

He called out again, “Lu Jianchuan.”

Lu Jianchuan gave him only his back.

Fang Xingzhou sighed and finally said, “Remember to eat breakfast later.” Then he closed the bedroom door.

A doctor’s job isn’t like others; it’s not easy to take time off. He could only turn on the home surveillance camera, move it to the bedroom door, and ensure he could monitor Lu Jianchuan’s movements even after leaving the house. Then he changed clothes and headed to work.

Maybe it’s good to cool off for a bit.

Including himself… he also needed to calm down and figure out what was wrong with his brain.

The front door closed gently, and the sound of the engine starting came from the garage, gradually moving toward the main road, growing fainter until it disappeared.

Lu Jianchuan’s movements also slowed, and he eventually threw the knives aside, strode out of the bedroom, only to find an empty living room and the untouched breakfast on the table.

His expression grew colder as he stared at the food for a long time, then slowly reached out to cover his stomach.

This morning, it wasn’t just him who was scared—the embryo inside him was also frightened.

After the scare, Fang Xingzhou quickly left its side and drove to the hospital dozens of kilometers away as usual. Unsurprisingly, the embryo began to thrash wildly in his belly, churning Lu Jianchuan’s insides until it felt like his abdomen was being corroded, almost as if a hole was about to form.

The pain in his abdomen, heart, and head was overwhelming.

A mix of emotions swirled within him, turning his human brain into mush. Lu Jianchuan narrowed his eyes slightly, savoring this rare complexity of feelings. Many thoughts he had just suppressed began to stir again.

Should he just bring him back? he thought.

Then strip off this human skin, show him his tentacles, and tell him—that the person lying beside him all along was a monster pretending to be human, and the thing growing inside him was also a little monster. Then tie him to the bed… yes, maybe even hide his clothes, so he could never leave the house or get his hands on anything that could cause harm. He would stay safely in the nest, nourished daily by secreted mucus, living a long and healthy life…

Bring him back… keep him safe.

Lu Jianchuan’s crimson tongue peeked out, lightly licking the corner of his mouth. Just the thought of this possibility made him tremble with excitement.

The embryo, sensing its host’s excitement, became even more active. Though it didn’t understand what Lu Jianchuan’s thoughts meant, it instinctively felt anticipation, longing for the other parent to stay by its side forever, never to be separated again.

Its activity made Lu Jianchuan so hungry he almost wanted to digest his own body.

Tentacles shot out—one went to the dining table, devouring the leftover breakfast; two dove into the fridge, grabbing all the stored food; the rest rummaged through the living room, finding anything that could provide nourishment, crushing it with sharp teeth and swallowing it whole.

Five minutes later, the living room was in complete disarray. Lu Jianchuan transformed back into his human form, becoming the ordinary intern doctor “Xiao Wang,” grabbed his car keys, and drove straight to the hospital.

He calmly realized that he was losing control.

The monster’s consciousness was overtaking his human rationality, and his emotions were growing cold and numb. He tried several times to pull his sanity back, but the little monster inside him was also going mad.

Double the madness—it seemed only natural that something would happen.

—All of this was because his partner had been acting out of line recently, repeatedly trampling on his heart, even after their argument, still prioritizing work and not touching the breakfast he had made.

…It was only natural to do something.

Lu Jianchuan gripped the steering wheel tightly, thinking again.

He sped to the hospital, didn’t take the elevator, but walked up to the sixth floor, giving himself one last chance to cool down.

With every step, his mind replayed those nightmare-like images, uncontrollably thinking about the wound that ran through his abdomen, the blood slowly filling the test tube, the blade pressed against the fragile skin of his wrist…

His breathing was so heavy it felt like he was inhaling mercury, and his heart pounded as if it wanted to break his ribs.

Sixth floor.

Lu Jianchuan clutched his aching chest, pushed open the fire door, and stepped into the noisy waiting hall. Amidst countless scents, he sharply discerned the scent of his lover. He stopped five meters away from the consultation room, his gaze heavy as he looked inside at the person currently attending to patients.

A tentacle, replacing his human hand, extended slightly from within him, hidden in the shadow of his sleeve.

Inside the consultation room, Fang Xingzhou wore a white coat, his features obscured by a mask, revealing only a pair of calm and steady eyes. Beneath those eyes was a faint trace of fatigue, making it clear to anyone who looked—he was also in a bad mood.

The patient went on and on about their ailments, and Fang Xingzhou listened patiently. After a moment, he took out a penlight from his pocket, leaned over to examine the patient’s pupils, then typed up a diagnosis, clearly explaining the medication instructions to the patient.

The patient looked to be nearly eighty years old, yet had come to the appointment alone. Their hearing wasn’t great, so some instructions had to be repeated several times. What should have been a five-minute consultation dragged on for nearly twenty minutes.

But Fang Xingzhou maintained an extremely steady demeanor. Even though he had argued with his pregnant lover that morning, he still managed to calmly explain everything to the elderly patient for twenty minutes, ensuring they fully understood before calling the next number.

As he stood up, the elderly patient firmly grasped Fang Xingzhou’s hand, their eyes red as they expressed their gratitude, mentioning the previous surgery several times. It seemed they were a returning patient who had been under Fang Xingzhou’s care for a long time.

Fang Xingzhou smiled at them, the corners of his slightly bruised eyes curving gently.

…

Lu Jianchuan stood in the corner, watching.

An incredible chemical reaction was taking place in his heart. Complex, incomprehensible emotions surged endlessly, dissolving like unknown hormones in his bloodstream, flowing through his atria to every part of his body.

It was miraculous. Just by watching, his nearly frenzied nerves were soothed by an invisible hand. Even the ravenous embryo in his belly calmed down, synchronizing with his increasingly steady heartbeat.

The tentacle hidden under his wide sleeve disappeared, transforming back into a human hand, which then slowly clenched into a fist.

He remembered what his former supervisor had once told him:

“Humans are delicate and precious creatures, but they can’t be kept in a greenhouse…”

“Germs will grow in their minds…”

It was as if he finally understood the meaning behind those words. He exhaled slowly, and the monstrous, ferocious thoughts in his mind grew docile, replaced by a deep sense of defeat.

He couldn’t do this.

Even if the entirety of human society seemed boring and meaningless to him, his lover was precious, proud, and fragile. If he were dragged into a monster’s lair, cut off from the vibrancy of human life, wouldn’t he quickly grow mold in his mind and wither away in melancholy?

The realization struck Lu Jianchuan so painfully that he almost secreted tear-like mucus from his tentacle mouthparts.

He clenched his fists, standing in the corner, staring unblinkingly at Fang Xingzhou. It was as if he had returned to the days when he played the role of a jellyfish, trapped in a fish tank, watching the sickly young Fang Xingzhou day and night, filled with fear and torment, yet unsure of what to do.

Meanwhile, Fang Xingzhou in the consultation room was also feeling uneasy.

After finishing with his morning patients, he couldn’t help but take out his phone and check the surveillance footage from home, wanting to see what his angry lover was up to.

—The screen showed no one.

The bedroom door was open, knives scattered across the floor, and the person who had been sharpening them was gone.

He adjusted the camera angle and saw the living room in complete disarray. All the cabinets were open, dirty plates were left on the dining table, and the fridge door was ajar, its contents completely emptied.

Fang Xingzhou’s face paled. He stood up from behind the consultation desk, grabbed his briefcase, and called for Qin Hongbo: “Something’s happened at home. I need to go back immediately. Please have Dr. Lin cover for me this afternoon.”

Before Qin Hongbo could respond, Fang Xingzhou had already strode out of the consultation room, nearly sprinting toward the elevator while dialing Lu Jianchuan’s number.

As he ran, his steps gradually slowed.

In the crowd, Fang Xingzhou spotted his “new intern.”

The latter was also staring at him unblinkingly, his expression ashen, as if he had suffered a great defeat. His usually clear and bright eyes were now dark and clouded.

Fang Xingzhou’s heart tightened. He hung up the phone and slowly walked over until they were face to face.

They stood in silence, gazing at each other.

Fang Xingzhou exhaled, forcing a faint smile, pretending as if nothing was wrong. “Xiao Wang, why are you only coming in now?”

Lu Jianchuan blinked slowly.

The prolonged stare had made his eyes dry. In the half-second it took to blink, the monstrous, frenzied thoughts dissipated, and human emotions surged back, quickly secreting moisture to soothe his reddened eyes.

He heard himself say gloomily, “…I had a fight with my wife. I wasn’t in a good mood, so I came late.”

Fang Xingzhou’s smile deepened slightly, finally reaching his eyes.

“What a coincidence,” he said. “I also had a fight with my lover. He was really angry when I left this morning. I’m worried about whether he’s eaten properly while staying home alone.”

Lu Jianchuan stared straight into the depths of Fang Xingzhou’s pupils, as if trying to peer through his eye sockets and forehead to see the brain matter hidden within, hoping to understand the complex thoughts of the human before him.

“Do you love him very much?” he asked softly, his tone carrying a barely detectable urgency.

“Of course,” Fang Xingzhou raised his hand, showing off the hideously ugly engagement ring on his ring finger. “I love him more than I love myself. If one day he needed me to give my life for him, it wouldn’t be a big deal.”

Lu Jianchuan’s eyes gradually filled with bloodshot streaks.

“Me too,” he murmured. “I love him too, enough to give my life for him. But he still argues with me and leaves me alone at home…”

Fang Xingzhou took hold of his arm, feeling both embarrassed and guilty under his accusations. He cleared his throat and said, “Arguments are inevitable in relationships. It’s nothing serious. Let’s go eat first. You must be starving.”

Lu Jianchuan lowered his gaze, looking at Fang Xingzhou’s hand. He struggled against the intense hunger for a few seconds before finally giving in and nodding