In the evening, Shen Jianqing came again to bring me food.
The main door was tightly shut, and the previously open windows were now sealed with iron bars. The outside scenery was fragmented into small blocks, cutting off any possibility of escaping through them. I was now effectively imprisoned by him.
Imprisoned.
I never imagined such a thing would happen in this day and age, let alone to me. But reasoning with Shen Jianqing was impossible; he didn’t believe in personal liberty, only stating that here, everything was his decision. He was acting like a crazed, thuggish bandit.
And to think I once believed he was innocent and kind, naive to the ways of the world. In reality, the naive ones were us, the fools who couldn’t see through people clearly.
“You’re not eating or taking your medicine?” Shen Jianqing looked at the lunch he had brought earlier, the untouched food and soup were arranged perfectly, and said mockingly, “Are you staging a hunger strike against me?”
I rolled over, turning my back to him, unwilling to acknowledge him. He could restrict my freedom, but could he control whether I ate or spoke? I refused to believe he’d let me starve to death here. Why go to all that trouble just to guard a dead body?
Shen Jianqing set down the steaming food he was holding, took two steps forward, and, ignoring my struggles, reached out to touch my forehead. His hand was cold, like a block of ice.
“No wonder, you must be too weak from the fever to eat. It’s my fault for not being careful enough.” He murmured to himself, his tone gentle, as if we shared an intimate relationship. But in reality, we were nothing.
Shen Jianqing paced, then sat back by the bed with the medicine. “Li Yuze, I’ll feed you your medicine. Come here.”
I still didn’t move.
Time seemed to freeze. No one spoke in the room; you could even hear a pin drop. I kept my eyes closed, quietly waiting for his next move. But a minute passed, and he still said nothing or made any move.
But I knew he hadn’t left, because his low breathing never ceased. They say waiting for death is the hardest part for a condemned prisoner, and I was experiencing it firsthand.
A moment later, I heard a faint chuckle behind me, but instinctively, goosebumps erupted on one side of my body. This lunatic, what was he laughing at?
Before I could react, my body was suddenly flipped over by a strong force, and Shen Jianqing’s excessively beautiful face abruptly appeared before my eyes. His eyes were bloodshot, and his bared teeth revealed sharp canines, his smile chilling. Even though I was prepared to anger him, he still startled me.
“You’re ignoring me, huh! Not eating or drinking, huh!” He said, reaching out and grabbing my shoulder, pulling me off the bed. I was feverish, my body weak and limp, but fueled by a surge of desperate anger, I found some strength. We wrestled, and in the struggle, I slapped Shen Jianqing across the face. It wasn’t hard, but it was enough to add fuel to his fire.
Flames seemed to flicker in Shen Jianqing’s dark pupils. He shoved me down. I was already recoiling, and caught off guard by his force, I slammed onto the bed, my head hitting the hard wall with a thud that made my eyes go black from pain.
When the darkness cleared, Shen Jianqing stood holding a plain porcelain bowl. He stepped forward, dragged me to the edge of the bed, and knelt between my legs. His left hand clamped onto my chin, forcing my head up painfully. His other hand forcefully pushed the rim of the porcelain bowl, filled with dark liquid, into my mouth. The liquid poured down, and a bitter taste instantly filled my mouth.
I shook my head wildly, pushing, grabbing, pinching, and scratching, but I couldn’t move him an inch.
My throat convulsed uncontrollably, and the liquid found its way into my stomach through every gap. But more of it sprayed out as I struggled, splashing everywhere, making the bed a mess.
I coughed violently, my entire chest rattling, my windpipe aching from the choking, and my nasal passages filled with the medicine. I must look utterly pathetic right now. But the more pathetic and ugly, the better, I thought, hoping it would make Shen Jianqing back off.
“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time already. I’ve been waiting for this moment for ages,” Shen Jianqing’s voice came from somewhere far away, laced with malice and humiliation. “Wasn’t that how you drank the ‘Lanmen’ wine back then? Did you know so many people were watching you? You’re quite good at seducing people, Li Yuze!”
Amidst my coughing, he tightened his grip on my jaw, looking down at me fiercely.
I finally got a close-up view of this gloomy youth’s true face.
His words stunned me, and it took a long while for me to realize he was talking about our time in Dongjiang Miao Village. Back then, Ah Li offered me the ‘Lanmen’ wine. She was shorter than me, so to avoid touching her, I had to crouch slightly and tilt my head back.
That moment, precisely like this moment. But the emotional state and circumstances were completely different.
My heart instantly erupted in a tempest of fear; a creeping dread of being watched, of being spied upon, enveloped my entire being. The sinister horror of every word and action being observed, chewed over repeatedly in an unknown place.
“You… you were always there…”
Shen Jianqing’s brow relaxed, and he tilted his head, saying, “Of course, I was always there. You almost found me several times. Oh, no! You did find me.”
I recalled him giving me a brilliant smile across the crowd in the bar at Dongjiang Miao Village. At the time, I was deceived by his appearance. Looking back now, I realize that smile was mixed with an endless undercurrent of darkness, like a greedy snake lurking in a corner.
“That photo… was that also intentional?” I thought of my “masterpiece,” how laughable that I had obsessed over that photo, believing it was a beautiful coincidence, intending to keep it for Shen Jianqing.
“Oh, and that photo of yours!” At the mention of it, Shen Jianqing grew even more excited, his eyes sparkling. “Did you know, when you pulled it out, it scared the life out of me!”
I stared at him blankly.
But it didn’t matter if I didn’t respond; Shen Jianqing continued on his own. “That wasn’t something I deliberately left. I just never thought you’d see me so early! Li Yuze, didn’t you yourself say that we had a strong fate?”
Fate?
Was this fate? The result of his careful manipulation and design, and he called it fate. Wasn’t that ridiculous?
I no longer had the energy to even make an expression. A wave of exhaustion swept over me. I said woodenly, “What do you see in me? Shen Jianqing, we’re strangers; you don’t even know me. What do you see in me?!”
Shen Jianqing said, as if it were obvious, “Didn’t you tempt me first? In Dongjiang, you came looking for me. In Shidi Mountain, you came begging me. I only watched from afar; it was you who lured me closer again and again.”
Me: “……” What kind of twisted logic was this?
“If I led you on, then I’m very sorry, it’s my fault. Can I explain now? I really didn’t…”
“Li Yuze.” Shen Jianqing cut me off abruptly, his face darkening instantly as if flipping a book. The change in emotion needed no time at all. With a grim expression, he said, “Don’t say things I don’t like to hear. We Miao people are stubborn. Once we’ve set our hearts on someone, we won’t change until we die. You are already mine; don’t ever think about getting rid of me in this life.”
After he finished speaking, he rose to his full height, looking down at me with lowered eyelids. The dark blue Miao outfit made his face appear as handsome as jade, but in my eyes, he was like a fiend from hell.
Shen Jianqing tossed out, “Take your medicine and rest. Don’t think your friends will be coming back.” Then walked straight out the door. Soon, I heard the sound of the lock clicking shut outside.
I huddled in the corner of the bed, finding a sliver of safety with my back pressed against the wall. After that ordeal, my blood felt as if it were surging chaotically, my emotions in disarray, and cold sweat soaked my skin even as my body temperature seemed to fall. Yet my foot remained unbandaged, my right ankle was badly swollen, the joint twisted out of place, and a deep, bone‑piercing pain throbbed through it.
Calm down, calm down, Li Yuze, you need to calm down first.
I couldn’t stop trembling and could only tell myself, I must stay calm.
This current situation was something I had never envisioned, without even an emergency plan. I couldn’t just wait for Qiu Lu, Wen Lingyu, and the others to return with help; I had to save myself. In any situation, relying on yourself is always the right approach.
But with my current physical condition, self-rescue was practically impossible. I had witnessed Shen Jianqing’s strength; I might not even be able to subdue him in my normal state, let alone with a broken foot.
I knew what Shen Jianqing was up to. He was deliberately stalling, not bandaging or treating my injury, precisely to leave my foot permanently crippled. He had stared at my injured foot with a strange look several times, and I had already guessed his intention.
I couldn’t just sit here and wait to die; this injury couldn’t be left untreated. In such a large Miao village, there must be a doctor, or at least someone knowledgeable in medicine. The immediate priority was to heal my foot and prevent any permanent disability. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to run properly later.
To achieve this goal, I would still have to rely on—Shen Jianqing.
I gritted my teeth, my heart filled with sorrow.
To bow my head before the very person who had violated me, to even plead with him, felt far worse than death. Once dignity is broken and ground underfoot, it is almost impossible to restore.
No, Li Yuze, what is dignity? Compared to being trapped here for a lifetime, what does dignity even matter?! If I get out, return to my own world, back to civilized society, who will know what happened here? I can still live a normal life, following the path I’ve already planned.
I could completely pretend nothing ever happened.
No, no, no, just because no one knows, does that mean it didn’t happen? Everything that exists leaves a trace. It might even be discovered!
“Ah—”
The immediate predicament and the conflict in my thoughts tormented me, causing my head to throb violently. I clutched my head, pulling at my hair, and slowly slid down, collapsing into the bedding.
The bed was already damp from the recent struggle, reeking strongly of herbal medicine. I couldn’t concern myself with these things anymore; I just wanted to sleep.
Just sleep. Leave the unresolved thoughts for tomorrow. For now, just have a good night’s sleep.
I buried my face in the blanket as if to escape, hiding my weak tears.
